Read 3 Sides to a Circle Online
Authors: Jolene Perry,Janna Watts
What Libby doesn’t understand and what I can’t explain is that it’s hard to have a parent on a ship in the Middle East, it just is. And being home makes me feel closer to him. Being around Mom makes me feel closer to him.
Toby’s beating wasn’t in a war zone, it was on a walk. My dad is at war, and there’s this urgent desire to be somewhere I feel more a part of what he’s doing. I don’t even register the thought that I need a couple days of not seeing Toby’s broken face.
“I mean, look what I did!” She gestures to the pyramid of board games she stole from the student union.
“I get it, Libby. And I’m sorry I’m not here to play. You can use a stuffed animal in my place, but I want to go home.” I love that she did this for the three of us, but I need to be home—just for a bit. I wish she’d understand that instead of only seeing me leaving them.
Just when I think that she’s not going to go for it, Libby slams me in a hug. “Be careful.”
I pat her back. “Of course, Libby. And stop jumping around Toby, he’s recovering.”
She stiffens a little as if there was some possible way to offend her and steps back. “Have fun.”
Her smile is too wide, but instead of sticking around to interpret, I head out to find Sawyer.
Chapter Fourteen
Toby
I know Libby’s not happy with Honor for leaving, but she can’t be expected to be around all the time. Honor has big things to do in the world. Though, so does Libby, and she’s here again. With me.
My mom has taken to texting to see how I am, but I’m fairly certain that one of my younger sisters is doing most of the texting because there’s no way Mom would know what ROFL or
LMAO means, much less use them in texts.
Still. It’s nice that my very practical family is checking in on me more than normal. I shouldn’t need it, but I do feel
like home is farther away than I expected it to be when I left. Especially now. I totally get why Honor wanted to be home.
“
Yahtzee first?” Libby asks as she fidgets, tapping her bottom lip while staring at the large stack of games. I’m honestly a little curious as to how she got them all up here. When I came back from classes, there they were.
“Sounds good.”
“I mean, the rolling of dice might hurt?” she asks.
“I’m good.” I’m not sure how good I am, but I know I can turn the cup over.
She plops down and rests a game of Apples to Apples between us so we have somewhere to roll the dice.
“Why aren’t you out tonight?” I ask.
“I’m here with you, dummy.” She smirks. Her smile always catches me for a second because there’s something both gorgeous and childlike about it at the same time. Childlike because she’s holding nothing back, and gorgeous for maybe the same reason.
“Stop looking at me
like that, Toby.” She gives me the pouting frown and I’m pretty sure I won’t see anything like the “real” Libby tonight. Tonight she’s floating on the idea of a night she determined would be fun. Wonder how she really felt about Honor leaving.
Instead of acknowledging the way I was staring at her lips, because it’s nothing like how I was staring at the strip of skin above her jeans a moment ago, I decide for friendly harassment. “I have two brothers and two sisters, all younger than me. The chances of you being better at any of these games than me is slim.”
“There you are.” She slaps the Yahtzee sheet down in front of me and hands me a sparkly purple pen. I turn it over in my hands a few times and shoot her a look, but she’s gnawing on the end of her own pen and shaking the cup for her first roll.
“How did you get all these games?” I ask, wondering if she’ll actually tell me.
“I know a guy.” She shrugs but doesn’t look at me.
“And how did you get them up here?” I shift a little, even though my ribs are killing me, but she still doesn’t look.
“A few guys.” She rolls the dice and starts to take stock of what she has.
Keeping the questions coming seems like fair game since she’s only giving me half answers anyway. “You have a sister, right?”
“Yep. She’s preggers.” Libby nods. “I’m going for fours.” She pulls up a few dice and makes another roll.
“And where’s home again?” I ask.
“Toby.” She leans over and rests a hand on each cheek, stealing my breath and making me wonder if maybe now, finally, she’s going to kiss me like she did to Honor. Even for fun. Anything.
“What?” I whisper.
“This is Yahtzee, not twenty questions,
dork
.” She cackles. “You better get on your game before I kick your ass.”
I laugh as she pulls her hands away even though it hurts. Anything
to make sure Libby and I are okay. To let her know that I don’t mind she dismissed me from the stoplight. Everything afterwards made that seem stupid to be angry over. It was really just Libby being Libby, and maybe being just as afraid as I am.
“It’s weird without Honor here,
” I finally say.
Libby’s eyes meet mine. “It sucks. But it is what it is, right? She should have stuck around for you this weekend, and instead she gave the painter a ride home.”
I’m glad Honor has her painter, but it still feels weird. Whatever the three of us have together, I like it. It may be a completely selfish thing to like, but I do. Sawyer shouldn’t be a part of what we have, and all I can think is that I hope Honor doesn’t try to bring him in.
“Come on, Toby. You can have fun with just me…right?” If I didn’t know her better, I’d think she was almost uncertain.
“Of course I can.” I snatch the cup with a grin and roll the dice, feeling it a little more than I thought I would when she announced a game night.
Just
me and Libby. This is okay too.
Three games in and Libby is kicking my ass.
“Thought you had siblings?” she says with a smirk.
“Are you cheating?” It’s possible she has been. I’m distracted,
to say the least. Between the Vicodin and keeping up with her non-stop talking, she could have fixed every game we’ve played and I wouldn’t have noticed.
“Of course not,” she says, but there’s a look in her eyes that makes me think that she’s been screwing with me from the start.
“You are. You’re cheating.” I shove her knee, and I can’t stop myself from leaving my hand there.
Libby looks down at it
for a really long time and then laces her fingers in mine. “You’re too banged up for me to sleep with you. And it might just be pity sex, which probably isn’t the best idea.”
I’m so used to these kinds of conversations with Libby that I almost don’t even react. Almost. “Is that on the table as an option?”
I can’t believe I’ve actually said that out loud. It’s probably fake drug-induced bravado, but I stop myself from taking it back. Instead I leave it in the long stretch of space between us.
Libby blinks at me, then leans over and kisses my cheek. “Not tonight
, it isn’t,” she whispers.
My hands want to pull her into me.
To feel something real. To experience an emotion beyond fear and paranoia. But before I can do anything, say anything, or talk her into anything, she’s bounced back and grabbed Othello from the pile of games.
“It’s impossible to cheat with this one,” she announces. “Unless you forget if you’re black or white.”
“Okay then. Set it up.”
She grins and her gaze dances around my still-swollen face. “You’re going to be okay. You had us worried. You had me worried.
I shouldn’t have made you leave me that night. But I’m pretty sure you’re going to be okay.”
This is the only way she knows how to acknowledge guilt. I can see it in her face. She’s telling me I’m going to be okay because she needs that from me.
And as she opens up the box and begins to set up the board, I close my eyes for a minute and say a silent prayer that I can give it to her.
Chapter
Fifteen
Honor
I shut the door to the bathroom
in Sawyer’s family’s house and pull in a deep breath of air. I like Sawyer, no doubt. Really like him. But his
family
… It just seems like a little much for a guy I haven’t known all that long.
Instead of actually using the bathroom
, I lean against the wall and wish we were back in the car. He’s easy to talk to and seems ridiculously without flaws—except for begging me to come inside. Everything before his driveway was great.
“Honey
, you really shouldn’t have dragged her in here,” his mom whispers, and I strain to hear.
“I…” But I don’t know if he fades out or gets too quiet for me to hear.
“You’re going to scare the poor girl away.” She laughs a little at the end, kind of a soft, melodic sound that’s so motherly.
“I just thought it would be nice for you to meet someone I met, Mom. That’s it.”
Sawyer’s quiet, but defensive.
“You can just be intense without meaning to,” she whispers back.
I decide to ignore them by turning on the faucet and splashing my face with water.
When I step out of the bathroom, a painting at the
bedroom end of the hallway catches my attention. It’s definitely Sawyer’s work, but it’s of himself. I walk toward it, wanting a closer look.
“Oh, no.”
Sawyer chuckles behind me. “Not that one.”
“You’re the one who asked me in, now you have to pay the consequences.” I glance over my shoulder
, and my breath hitches a little at his smile.
“Fair enough.” He stops behind me so close that the warmth of him spreads goose bumps across my skin.
“When did you do this?” I ask as I purposefully don’t look at him. The painting is simple and not his usual modern style. It reminds me a bit of Van Gogh’s self-portrait.
“Senior year of high school.
Mom loves it.” And I can tell by his voice that he does not.
“I need to get going.” I turn around and let myself bump into him.
My shoulder against his shoulder.
“I’ll walk you out.” He leans close enough that he co
uld kiss me on the cheek but doesn’t. My whole body goes a little weak at how close we are.
I give his mom a friendly wave
, and I think she says something about me being welcome anytime, but the energy between Sawyer and me has sort of taken over.
When we get to my car
, instead of jumping in the driver’s seat like I probably would have done at the beginning of this year, I lean against the door to face him.
“
I should go.” I grab the handle.
“No. Wait.” He takes my hand off the handle and stares at
the way our fingers come together. “I’m sorry. I suddenly feel like I forced you here.”
My heart’s hammering hard again and the energy from the hallway has carried outside.
“No.”
“I hope I didn’t overwhelm you with this.”
He glances back toward his house. “I can apparently be a little too intense.”
“It’s fine. Really.”
And now that we’re back outside, it
is
fine. I like his intensity when it’s just the two of us. Or, at least I’m getting used to it.
“I really want to kiss you.”
His breath hits my face.
I start to answer, b
ut his lips are on mine, soft and smooth.
J
ust as his body presses into me and I think he might deepen our kiss, he pulls away and a truck screeches to a halt in the driveway.
“My dad.” He cringes. “If you don’t want to be teased, jump in and run.”
“Won’t that be rude?” I really want to.
Really
, really want to.
“Sawyer! Who’s the poor girl you have fooled this time?” A man who is
like an older version of Sawyer, only broader and rougher around the edges, steps our way. A hardhat rests under his arm and his plaid shirtsleeves are rolled up, even though it’s cold.
“My dad, Sawyer the
first
.” Sawyer nods toward his father. “He runs a construction company. The houses, remember?”
I nod to show I
do, but I never know what to say to new people.
“Honor.” I hold out my hand.
“It’s an honor to meet you too.” His dad winks.
I’m not sure if he’s teasing or not, so I go for safe.
“No, I’m…um…”
“I guessed who you were the
minute I saw you.” Sawyer Sr. winks again as he chomps on his gum. “I think ‘unearthly beautiful’ were the words my son used.”
My cheeks flame despite it being the absolute last thing I want to happen.
It’s sort of an overwhelming compliment, though part of me wishes he would have said something about the girl he met who’s really into math or design or gets his paintings. “I really need to get back on the road.”