He went back to staring at his own reflection before she could notice him looking at her.
Kevin recalled how Lilian had been unable to tell him why she was so far from home when they first met. At the time, he had assumed she was just embarrassed by her situation, but now he knew better. She had run away, all in an effort to avoid marrying some jerk she didn’t even like.
After finishing their nightly ritual (brushing, flossing, and using mouthwash), the pair strolled into the hall where their progress was halted by Kotohime. The woman hadn’t moved from her guard position by the door the entire time he and Lilian had been preparing for bed. She’d followed them, walking several steps behind the two like a chaperone or escort, and then stopped by the bathroom door and remained there. It was kind of creepy, but Kevin tried his best to ignore the woman.
“
Lilian-sama, could I have a moment of your time?”
Lilian looked at Kotohime with an inscrutable expression. Emotions flickered within her emerald irises, flashing by before he could figure out what she was thinking. Her features, which appeared tumultuous and lost, really did not suit her.
“
I suppose,” Lilian turned her head to look at Kevin. “I’ll be back in a bit.” She smiled, but it wasn’t a true smile. It didn’t reach her eyes.
He smiled back, keeping up the charade. If Lilian didn’t want to worry him, then he would indulge her. It was the least he could do.
“
I’ll just wait in our room.”
Lilian’s smile widened, transforming into something genuine. He wondered why, but decided not to question what made her so happy. Some things were better off remaining unknown.
***
Kotohime led Lilian onto a tiny balcony attached to the Swift residence. The older kitsune stood by the wall that acted as a railing while Lilian stood next to her, looking anywhere but at Kotohime.
A sigh was released when Kotohime realized that her charge was going to keep avoiding eye contact.
“
Lilian-sama,” Kotohime said, her tone resigned, “I hope you understand what you are doing. Going against Pnév̱ma-denka’s will is not something to be done lightly, or at all. Need I remind you of what happened to the last person who defied the matriarch?”
“
I am not my father,” Lilian snapped. She held Kotohime’s gaze long enough to penetrate her maid with a fierce stare. The kimono-clad femme was unaffected. Lilian sighed and looked away.
Lilian knew next to nothing about her father, the man who had given birth to her. She didn’t even know his name. Speaking about him was forbidden. Only Abercio, one of her many half-uncles and someone who seemed to have been close to her father, had the audacity to speak about him, and he’d been punished severely for doing so. Even now, after nearly a century, he wasn’t allowed to enter the clan’s estate in Greece.
The only thing she knew was that her father had been banished for defying the matriarch, an unforgivable offense. Lilian assumed he was dead. Kitsune with no clan didn’t live very long without a benefactor, and no one would take in someone with the stigma of having been banished. Being banished meant you were a disgrace, and a disgraced kitsune wasn’t someone another clan would willingly take in, lest they invoke the wrath of the clan that had done the banishing.
“
True, but you are a product of his defiance,” Kotohime said. “Your father had already been promised to another when he met Camellia-sama and had you and your sister. He was banished for his insolence, and the only reason Pnév̱ma-denka accepted your mother into the clan was because of the power you and your sister possess.”
“
You don’t have to remind me,” Lilian wilted. Her ears, normally upright and perky, drooped. She did not like being reminded of their position within the clan. “I know that. Daphne always reminds me about how fortunate we are for the matriarch’s mercy every chance she gets.”
She didn’t enjoy thinking about her extended family. Very few members of her clan actually liked her thanks to the issues surrounding her parents’ union. It was that very same hatred which led Lilian and her immediate family to take up residence in the United States―well, that, and the fact that she had been a hellion for the past couple of years. Lilian assumed the matriarch had gotten sick of her attitude and decided to send them as far from the main estate as possible.
Her mother never spoke of her father. Lilian knew that the reason for this was partly due to her mom’s degrading mental faculties. It was hard to talk about someone you could barely remember, and harder still to talk about someone when you had the mind of a five year old. However, Lilian also believed part of the reason was because thinking about her father hurt. The man her mother loved, and who Lilian had chosen to believe loved her back, had been a disobedient traitor who defied the matriarch. That kind of information was not something people willingly wanted to remember.
“
So, that boy…” Kotohime interrupted Lilian’s thought process. “Is he…?”
“
Yes.”
“
I see.” A pause. Kotohime visibly gathered her thoughts. “And does he…?”
“
Of course he doesn’t.” Lilian shook her head. “Not that I would expect him to. He was just a child back then, a cute little boy no older than six or seven.” Her smile turned bitter as she spoke. “Besides, we both know that even if his memories did extend that far back, he’d still have no recollection of me. My
family
saw to that.”
The way Lilian spat out the word family, like it was poison in her mouth, made Kotohime frown.
“
You should not speak ill of your family, Lilian-sama.”
“
Whatever,” Lilian huffed. “We both know they’re to blame for all of my problems. They hate me, and would like nothing better than to see me stuck in a mating arrangement with that idiot.”
“
You should also not speak so ill about Jiāo
ào
-dono, Lilian-sama.”
Lilian gritted her teeth, but said nothing more about her potential suitor, instead changing the subject.
“
So, are you going to tell me about how foolish I am for coming here? For hoping that Kevin would remember me? That is why you dragged me out here, isn’t it?”
“
Do you regret coming here and discovering that he has no recollection of you?”
“
No. Never.”
“
Then anything I could say to you won’t really matter now, will it? However, speaking of your burgeoning romance, you do realize that a relationship between you and him will not last forever, correct?” Kotohime gave her ward a look of worry.
Lilian looked away. “I know that.”
“
And you still intend to mate with him?”
“
I do.”
“
Even though he’ll be dead less than a century from now?”
Lilian’s shoulders slumped. “Do you have to make it sound so fatalistic?”
“
My dear Lilian-sama, you are talking to someone who speaks from experience. I merely want you to understand what being in a relationship with a human will mean. It may seem wonderful at first, and I do not deny that humans make some of the best mates, but it does not change his mortality. It also does not change the fact that you will live at least nine centuries longer than him.”
Lilian’s hands clenched into fists, her knuckles turning white. “Whatever. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about, or can I go back inside?”
“
Ufufufu… so eager to get back to your mate, I see. Very well. I believe our conversation is finished.”
“
Good.”
Lilian did not hesitate to leave the balcony. Kotohime watched her young ward walk back inside and disappear down the hallway. Her eyes remained on the spot where Lilian had vanished for a while longer, then shifted back to the sea of stars.
“
Oh, Lilian-sama,” she sighed, “you truly do not realize what kind of hardships await those who choose to mate with a human.”
***
When Lilian entered the bedroom it was to find Kevin staring out the window, his brows furrowed deeply, making him look several years older. His sleeping bag was already set up on the floor, and she could see that Kevin had even pulled the bed’s covers back for her.
She smiled softly. He really was a kind and courteous young man. Now if she could just get him to hurry up and fall in love with her, things would be kosher.
“
Kevin.”
Kevin’s messy blond hair swayed as he jerked around, his eyes widening. Lilian wondered about what he’d been pondering to be so startled by her presence. Sure, she hadn’t stomped into the room or anything, but she hadn’t made an effort to be silent either.
“
Oh, Lilian.” Kevin smiled at her, but it appeared strained. “How was your talk with Kotohime?”
“
It went about as well as could be expected, I guess,” Lilian mumbled. She loved that woman like a mother, but Kotohime could be so overbearing sometimes. The depressing topic they’d discussed hadn’t helped. In fact, it had pretty much killed whatever good mood she’d had from earlier that day.
Times like these made Lilian wish that she’d been born human.
“
I’m sorry about how she treated you.” Lilian looked at him apologetically. “She means well, and she’s not prejudiced against humans, but whenever clan matters are involved, she holds to the same policies in matters of human/yōkai relationships that most kitsune do.”
“
What policies are those?”
“
The ones that state humans and yōkai should never become involved with each other. While it’s not forbidden for a kitsune to have a relationship with a human, it is frowned upon. Kotohime doesn’t agree with this policy, but she does believe that humans should stay out of kitsune affairs.”
“
Kind of a double standard, isn’t it?” Kevin gave her a wry grin. “I mean, you kitsune pull a lot of pranks on us humans, and your own clan interacts with humans at your resort.”
“
The Pnév̱ma clan doesn’t actually have any interaction with humans,” Lilian corrected. “Only vassals of the clan do. Members of the actual clan—those whose lineage comes directly from the matriarch—usually go their entire lives without meeting a single human. I should know,” she added in a bitter half-whisper, “they tried doing the same thing to me.”
“
Lilian? Are you all right?” Kevin didn’t like the look on Lilian’s face.
“…
Yes.” Dispelling the resentful thoughts fluttering through her mind, Lilian focused her attention back on him. “What about you? Are you okay?”
“
Oh, I’m fine, just fine.” Kevin waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind right now.”
“
Like what?”
Kevin scratched the back of his neck with his left hand.
“
I guess I’m still trying to figure out what happened back there. I’m a bit confused by those things you said back in the kitchen.”
Lilian was nonplussed. “What were you confused about?”
“
That stuff you were saying, about your crest and all that.”
“
Oh, that.” Lilian’s eyes shone and her mouth parted in a pretty “o” shape as she snapped her fingers. “I forgot you wouldn’t know about that.”
She paused for a moment, thinking about how best to explain her actions. After a second of silent contemplation, she nodded.
“
Right. So, there are many customs within the clan that those words can actually be used for. Usually these customs must be recognized and witnessed by the matriarch of the clan, but because of what I was using them for, a servant such as Kotohime would suffice just fine.”
That didn’t explain anything, and Kevin said as much. “I’m still not sure I understand. What exactly were you hoping to accomplish? What were you trying to do?”
“
I was going to banish myself from the clan.”
Kevin’s eyes looked ready to bulge from his sockets, such was their immense size. “E-excuse me?”
“
I was going to banish myself from the clan,” Lilian repeated.
“
I heard you the first time.” Kevin stared at the girl, his lips thinning into a tight line. “What I mean is why were you attempting to banish yourself from the clan?”
Lilian was silent.
“
Lilian…”
“
She wanted to take me away from you.” The words were spoken so quietly that he almost missed them. Lilian looked directly into his eyes, and Kevin felt like he was drowning within the depths of her viridian gaze. Had anyone ever looked at him with so much raw, undiluted emotion before? “Kotohime wanted to take me away from you and I… I don’t want that. I want to stay here with you. I want to experience life with you.”
Kevin’s eyes widened as Lilian’s emotions poured out of her. Frustrated tears welled up in the redhead’s eyes as she stared at him with a cornucopia of conflicted feelings.