A Graceful Mess (34 page)

Pulling the floral printed chair over to her bed, I take a seat. The diamond on her left hand sparkles in the hospital’s fluorescent lighting. Taking her hand in mine, I kiss her ring finger before holding her hand up and giving her a glimpse of the small rock.

“What is that?”

“Grace, I love you and I always knew you were the woman of my dreams. I knew one day I would ask you to marry me, but I couldn’t when I was hiding something so big from you. I couldn’t start off our marriage with a lie. A few days ago, when your dad woke up from his bypass I asked him for your hand in marriage. He said yes. I admit he was hesitant at first and he questioned me like I was applying for the fucking National Guard, but I think he came to terms with why I lied to you. Really, he lied to protect you, just like I did, and I think that won him over. I rushed up here and slid the ring on your finger. I know it isn’t the most romantic proposal, and you could always take it off and say no, but I was so scared of losing you. I just wanted to see you wear it.”

“Yes. Yes, Parker. I would be honored to be your wife, but on one condition.”

“Name it.”

“Let’s promise not to fight again, and we have to be upfront and honest about everything. It’s going to take some time to get past this, but you’re all I could think about. I don’t remember being in coma, but I remember you. Your face. It’s what helped me hold on. This fight literally almost killed me, but you, your voice calling out to me to hold on, saved me. ”

If someone would have told me three years ago how my life would pan out, I wouldn’t have believed them. I would have told them they were sadly mistaken and brushed it off without a second thought. Looking back, I’m glad no one was there to give me their predictions. Every single trial that I faced that summer has led to me where I am today.

“Grace, come on, sweetheart, you’re going to be late.”

Looking out into the bedroom from where I am standing, I see Parker adjusting his tie. Oh, how I love how my man looks in a suit. Rarely do I get to see him in anything other than a pair of khakis or basketball shorts. The first time was at my father’s funeral. While I never got the chance to know Mark Jacobs personally, I know him through the memories and the stories that the ones closest to him shared. His sister, my Aunt Jaime, and I have actually become really close. She tells me I look just like him and dance like my mother, Sophia, who was a ballet dancer. Their stories are all I have keeping them alive. I wish I had the chance to know them. Maybe we would have had a lot in common. I know that’s wishful thinking and I will never get that chance, but it’s nice knowing that every decision they made was to protect me. Sophia died while giving birth to me. She was so young and her body just couldn’t take it. I don’t blame him for one second for making the decision he did. I wish more than anything I had the chance to know him, to tell him I don’t blame him. In my prayers I do, every day. I know he is listening and I find comfort in knowing he can be at peace knowing I don’t hate him.

A few weeks after his funeral, I met with an attorney who gave me a box. I guess him being the businessman he was he had his will set up, just in case. Who would have thought something would actually happen? At first the box was a painful reminder of his absence. Not to mention every box I have ever been given has brought nothing but bad news and misery to my life. This one was different though. This box brought answers and closure. There were letters inside, letters from Sophia to me, before I was even born. Some of them were written on her Spanish homework, being how they were still in high school. The thought made me laugh, but more importantly, it made me smile. Knowing I was on her mind then, when she was pregnant and in school, pulled at my heart. God, how I wish I could have met her. There were also news articles from her ballet recitals. Now I know where I get that gene from. At the very top of the box was a letter from Mark, the man whose eyes matched mine exactly. The letter was brief, but the words are what mattered, not the amount.

Grace,

If you are reading this then we would have never gotten a chance to meet, but just because we have never had the opportunity doesn’t mean we do not know each other. I loved your mother more than anything, and I was heartbroken to see her go. Knowing that you were a part of her killed me, but walking away from you killed me more. I will die missing you and regretting my decision to give you up, but please know there isn’t one day that goes by that I don’t think of you or your pretty blue eyes.

This may sound strange, and honestly, what are the chances that the private investigator I hired to watch you would fall head over heels in love with you? Parker Porter is smitten with you. I knew it from the moment his eyes lit up when he looked at the picture I gave him. Grace, please forgive him for keeping this secret. Like me, he was just trying to protect you. I am praying that my lawyer has contacted him and delivered a special gift.

The ring that I hope is on your hand was your mother’s. I had saved up all summer to buy that, and the night of our senior prom I gave it to her. She was huge in her purple dress, but pregnant or not, she was the most gorgeous thing I had ever laid my eyes on. That night I asked her to marry me, and that night she gave birth to you, wearing that same ring. I had a will prepared just in case something ever happened to me. In my will, I made clear that this ring needed to be delivered to Mr. Porter.

So if you are reading this, I can only hope you would have said yes to Parker’s proposal, and if he hasn’t asked you yet, just tuck this letter away and pretend I never told you that story. I love you, my beautiful little girl. I pray you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

Until we meet again, I love you, sweetheart.

Mark

I’ve read the letter more than once, and every time, I close my eyes and picture him reading it to me, remembering his voice from the one time we met on campus. The strange part is it is dated a few weeks prior to the accident. Parker told me about their last conversation. I know I won’t ever get the chance to know exactly why Mark did or said the things he did to Parker, and I’m not sure what triggered Mark to write this letter, but I find comfort in knowing he believed in Parker’s love for me. He had to –after all he had my mother’s ring delivered to Parker.

Alexis and I have watched home videos of him and her. Sometimes I imagine it’s me running around, and he is chasing me. His voice is something I hope I never forget.

The second time I ever saw Parker in a suit and tie was at our wedding. The day we said “I do” in front of our family and friends was one of the best days of my life. Having my sisters, Maci and Alexis, standing next to me was almost just as sweet. My father, the man I call “daddy,” gave me away that day. He and my mother bawled their eyes out as they sat in the front row. My twin brothers sat next to them making silly faces at me the whole time, and someone even caught it on camera. Those memories, those moments, they all led me here.

I stare at my handsome husband for a few seconds longer.

“Sweetheart, I see you in there ogling me. Now hurry your fine ass up!”

The car ride to campus is quiet. I know Grace’s mind is probably going a hundred miles a minute, but all I can think of is pulling up her black little dress and filling her body with mine. She is stunning. Her blonde hair is pinned back, with small pieces curled around her face, and her lips are highlighted in a bright, red lipstick. “Temptations” or something is the name, I think. I only know because this morning while she was still sleeping I got up and wrote ‘Happy Graduation’ on the bathroom mirror, and then slid back into bed next to her for a few more hours of sleep. Her face lit up and she squealed as she ran out of the bathroom and jumped on the bed.

Holding her in my arms, I closed my eyes and thanked God, yet again, for her forgiving nature. After her wreck a few years ago, when I thought I lost her, I knew I would never betray her again. Every day since then, I have tried my best to prove that to her. The day we took our wedding vows, and that night, was the first time I felt like I could relax, like she actually believed me and wouldn’t ever leave my side again. That night I made her mine, not that she wasn’t before, but that night was special. She could barely walk for the rest of our honeymoon, which was fine by me.

“Are you getting nervous?”

“Yes. You know I am, Parker.” She laughs and tries to hide her fear as I turn into the parking lot.

“I could help you relax.”

“Do I even want to know how?”

“I’m sure you’d want to feel how. Climb on back there in the backseat. Let me fuck you into next week. That would surely cure these nerves you have. You know it would, sweetheart.”

“You are crazy. We don’t have time!”

“I’ll make it fast.”

“You better make sure I come, or I’m going to be really mad.”

“Yes, Mrs. Porter.” I drive around until I find a parking spot as far away from the auditorium as possible. As I give her a playful wink, she climbs into the backseat. Locking the doors, I climb over the seat too. The sight is mouthwatering. My beautiful wife lays sprawled in the back seat of our SUV, her black dress hiked up over her ass, and her red high heels sticking up in the air. In a frantic hurry I unzip my pants, as my hard cock prepares to fill my wife only moments before she walks across the stage to receive her diploma. This should ease her nervousness and take her mind off of anything other than the pure pleasure she is about to receive.

Fiddling with my nameplate on my desk, I argue with the defendant’s lawyer about an ongoing vandalism case I have been working on for months. My fingers trace the raised outline of my name on the plaque in my hand, “Grace Porter, Attorney at Law.”

“Listen, Ben, I’m sorry, but you know that I have a flight to catch today. Look, just fax me the revised documents and I will review them on the plane. Okay, sounds good, thanks.” Disconnecting the line, I shove the massive pile of papers into my briefcase and then prepare for one of the biggest days of my life.

Walking into the lobby, I see my little sister, Alexis, flirting with the Panera Bread delivery guy. Coughing as I approach them, I grab her attention.

“You think just because you’re my sister I can’t fire you?” I tease as the delivery guy takes the receipt she just signed and marches away.

“And do you think just because you are the prettiest attorney in the state, you can intimidate me?”

“Well played, Lexi. Listen, I have to meet Parker at the airport, so hold all of my calls, unless it’s my parents. I am sure they are just as nervous as we are about today.”

“Okay, love you and good luck. You and Parker will be great. I know it and you know it, so don’t be nervous.” Leaning forward, she gives me a kiss on the cheek and then I make my way towards the elevator. I am so happy to have her in my life, and I am a bit surprised we have grown as close as we have so fast. She is a part of the family now, including Joseph and Karen’s. They accepted her, just like they accepted me. It’s nice knowing our family has overcome so much, and now we are tighter than ever, even after the whole adoption ordeal. Once my parents and I talked, I couldn’t really blame them for keeping it a secret. I only wish I didn’t find out like I did, but that’s life. Sometimes it smacks us in the face and catches us off guard.