A Little Bit of Truth (Little Bits) (36 page)

Kev. Who is this Kev? Just when I finally thought this asshole was out of the picture… I’m being irrational. Completely irrational. He’s an old friend.

An old, newly divorced friend who Marie hasn’t introduced to anybody. This does not give me a good feeling at all. In fact I think I’m turning green.

Being devoted to somebody sucks ass.

The bell rings. Time to get back to work.

Kev greets me with a smile, why am I here? Especially after the last time we met up. This is stupid, I need to stop this. I don’t even like him, he’s arrogant and annoying and he always has been.
Plus it’s not fair on Jacob. We’re exclusive now.

“It’s good to see you,” he says and gives me a tight hug which I don’t return. “Missed me?” Groan. Really?

“Kev…”

“Come on, I’ve got an awesome idea.” I’m intrigued, but not intrigued enough to follow him. He halts midway down the steps that lead from my apartment. “Everything okay?”

I shake my head, “No. I…”

“Uh-oh,” he grins nervously. “Why do I feel like you’re about to break up with me?” I know he’s joking but I can also tell he’s not
, he genuinely thinks we’re dating on some level I assume.

I notice the cameras and cringe
. As a way of privacy I pull him into the hall out of lens view.

Then I change my mind,
“You should go.” His face has definitely fallen now.

“What? Why?”

I gape at him, is he serious? “I should never have met up with you in the first place. This is a bad idea.”

“I thought we were friends.”

I blink in astonishment, he’s wrong. “We were never friends. I don’t even like you.”

His mouth falls open in shock, “You don’t even like me?”

“Well, our back story is a little bit dramatic don’t you think?” I shrug, totally nonchalant. Wow, I kind of feel free, this feels good. “I’m not even sure why I kept in touch. Every time you called all I could hear was the word bastard swimming around in my head. I guess I felt sorry for you because you downgraded.” Oh, now it’s spilling out. Meet the bitch.

“Wow. Downgraded?” he laughs twice and runs his fingers through his hair. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s obvious, you had me and then you left me for prissy bitch who has unfortunately screwed you over. I felt bad for you but let’s be honest, you screwed me over first.”

“We were in love.”

I laugh loudly, what a joke. “No honey, I thought I was in love. Big mistake. I was just… how do I say this? Obsessed with the idea of spending my days with the man who took my virginity? Yeah.” I tap my chin in thought. “That’s what it was. I was a stupid kid and you got married to someone else. I should have cut you off then.”

“Cut me off?”

“Am I not speaking English? Is that why you repeat snippets of what I’m saying?”

“You were in love with me, I know it. It’s why…”

“Umm… I know how I felt and yes, you’re right. I thought I was in love with you but now I know what that feels like I know it’s definitely not love I felt for you. Dude, I never even liked you all that much.” Amen to that. “I’m sorry. You’re an arrogant dick.” Harsh Marie, yikes. He looks hurt and I feel like a bitch. I don’t show this though, “I guess I’ll just leave then.” He descends the steps and stops by his car door, with a glance back at me he leaves me with parting words. “I fucked up Marie, I know that. Every day after I married that bitch I missed you.”

“You never came back to me though.”

“You were fucking my friend,” he bites out.

“Actually I was fucking two of them to piss you off but those are just details. I’m happy now, you broke us. I won’t let you break this.”

“Two of them? Who? I still speak to these guys you know!” He half shouts and slams his hand on top of his car in anger. “I can’t believe you. Tell me who.”

“The dude with the spikey hair and Rudolph.”

“You mean Ralph?”

I smile wistfully, “Yeah. He was hot.
I’m sorry I’ve said this the way I’ve said it but it needed to be said. It’s time for you to go and I think it’s best if we don’t speak anymore.”

“You’ll regret this Marie,” he says quietly and rather threateningly before climbing into his car.
What the hell does that mean? Do I care? Nah.

“Sorry dude.”
Oh wait… no I’m not.

Okay that’s a half lie, I regretfully feel like a bitch but I also feel like a goddess. I did it. I kicked him to the curb after all of these years. What an asshole. I can’t believe I fell for said asshole.

Oh my god.

I’m in love.

Ewww.

Why do I suddenly feel all dirty yet at the same time I feel really fucking smiley. Smiley because all I’m doing is smiling which probably looks weird to passersby. A strange woman stood outside of her door, beaming at the world for no good reason. I guess it’s a step up from licking windows so who cares?

Inside I go.

******

“I’ve been inflicted with a virus,” I announce as I rage past Summer and into her hallway.

“Hello to you too,” she smirks and leads me into the kitchen. “Coffee?”

“Whiskey,” I demand and then shake my head, my hand suspended in the air to halt her movements. “I’m driving. Coffee.”

“Is this virus contagious?”

“I hope so or I’m going to be the only heartbroken one when this thing goes tits up,” I watch her freeze in her steps. She was going to make coffee, now she’s gawping at me.

After clearing her throat she croaks, “And umm, what is the name of this virus?” She slowly and carefully pours two coffees from the coffee machine, her eyes never leaving me.

“It begins with L and ends in E. It leaves a bad taste in your mouth and makes you feel all fuzzy and warm and shit.”

Then she squeals, then she claps, then she squeals while she claps and then she lunges at me and hugs me. Can I punch her off? Would it be okay? What am I thinking? Of course it will!

“Marie!” She scolds and quickly moves out of range of my fist of fury. “Stop being an idiot.”

“So that’s a no to me punching you then?”

“Well, yes obviously!” She scowls, it’s adorable and it’s gone in seconds to be replaced with a smile. “Marie’s in love! Marie’s in love!”

“Stop chanting, it makes you look like a leprechaun.”
What with her red hair and deep green vest.

“You’re such a bitch.”

“At least I’m not quirky and ginger.”

She gasps in horror
while her hands smooth her hair as if comforting it, “You bitch. I’m not ginger, I’m strawberry blonde.”

“Babe…”
and then I laugh.

“I hate you sometimes.”

“You love me, now help me,” I beg and clasp my hands together under my chin.

“Help you with what?”

Duh. “This problem I’m having.”

“Thrush?” She looks extremely confused. Hell, even I’m confused now.

“What? No! This whole love thing.”

“That’s not a problem Marie, it’s a beautiful thing,” she sighs wistfully.

I snort in response, “Okay Disney, calm down.”

“I hate you sometimes.”

“You love me too much to hate me we’ve already covered this,” I finally get my coffee and sip it with a lip smacking slurp.

“What made you come to this realization then?” Resting on her elbows across from me, her eyes flit across my face. I see nothing but happiness and curiosity in their depths.

I answer with complete honesty as a good friend should, “Kev.”

“Kev?” She searches her memory for a moment, repeating his name over and over. It triggers something because she suddenly gasps and looks at me in horror, “
the
Kev? Before College Kev? Asshole Kev?”

“Yeah, you pretty
much just summed him up.”

“I hate that guy.”

“That makes two of us. Oh, three including his now ex-wife, that’s assuming his divorce has been finalized.”

Summer’s face darkens, “That bitch can suck it. Our hate is different to hers.”

“Yep.”

“So, why did Kev push you into this realization?”

Ah, where to begin, “I’ve kind of been in contact with him recently.”

“Go on.”

Gulp. “I’ve never stopped speaking to him actually.”

“Uh-oh.” She cringes and chews on her lower lip. “And why’s that?”

“I don’t know, I sort of forgot my reasons behind talking to him. He’s a prick. Seriously. He’s a cop now and he hasn’t changed at all, he’s only become more arrogant and annoying and he’s not even that good looking.” Not to mention he made out with me. Yuck. I can only just tolerate Jacob kissing me, when Kev did it I thought I was going to vomit. Though I still did it. Nobody forced me. Christ I’m weird.

Summer reaches over and clasps my hand while her other wipes a nonexistent tear from her eye, “I’m so proud of you baby.”

“Patronizing cow.”

“Cow?” she queries.

“English thing, Jacob called me it.”

Her mouth opens to form the shape of an O, she nods slowly. We fall into a comfortable silence right before she blurts, “Are you trying to say I’m fat?”

This I laugh at, “Oh my god, that’s what I said! I don’t get it either.”

“Huh. Seems like a silly insult if you ask me.”

Eye roll. “Nobody is asking you Summer.”

She only shrugs and
picks her cup up. “Does Jacob know?”

“About Kev?”

“Yeah.”

Oops. “We’ve never spoken about exes.
I don’t think Jacob has any exes. Like at all. Only people he’s screwed for a while.”

She blanches, “You were in love with him
once, I think Jacob deserves to know.”

“See that’s the magic of this story,” I grin triumphantly. “Now I’m in… you know what… with Jacob, I figured out I was never in… you know what… with Kev.”

“Love?”

“Precisely.”

“You’re such a tool.”

And the cackling begins.

“So what do I do?” My arms reach high above my head as I stretch, feeling the tension leave my body. Damn I’m tired.

Summer thinks for a moment, her hand absentmindedly grips a damp cloth and wipes down the counter. “Tell him.”

“What? Are you crazy?”

She stops wiping and gives me a pointed look, “Just tell him. What’s the big deal?”

At this I chuckle and pinch her cheek, “I love how positive you are. This is Jacob Stone. If I tell him I’m in… you know what… with him he won’t let me be his permanent bitch anymore and right now… I’m not sure if I can handle the pain.”

It’s her turn to roll her eyes, “You’re so vulgar. You’re also so wrong. He loves you, definitely.”

“Who loves who?” Ah, Chris is here. He walks straight past Summer who is clearly waiting for a kiss and pours himself a coffee before leaning his ass against the counter and cupping it with one hand while the other scratches the stubble on his jaw. He looks tired and worn. Summer looks dejected and broken. Yikes. Is this my future?

“
Summer thinks Jacob loves me,” I say as a way to ease the tension. Also as a way to bring the attention back to me so Summer doesn’t realize I’ve noticed how distant she and Chris are being.

Chris nods his agreement, “That guy is crazy about you. Anyone can see that.”

“That’s the same thing you and Maya said to me about Chris before we got married,” Summer deliberately points out the ‘before we got married’ part with a sad tone. Half dreamy and half sad as if saying, “Those were the good old days.”

Chris winces, feeling the pain behind her words but says nothing to soften her demeanor or to comfort her. I want to punch him. My heart goes out to my friend who looks lost and solemn. I want to hug her.
It’s rare I want to hug anyone, that’s how I know this shit is serious.

“There’
s a couple of games I brought home from work today that I have to test. Can you bring my dinner to me in the cave?” Chris asks his wife without even stopping on his way out of the room. Without even waiting for an answer.

Summer’s face crumbles, I take her hand in mine and whisper, “Honey.”

She lets out a little sob and shakes her head, her eyes on the ground, “Don’t Marie. Please.”

“Okay.” But I don’t let go of her hand.

She listens to his footsteps disappear up the stairs before turning sharp eyes on me, “That warm feeling you’ve got right now Marie. Embrace it. It probably won’t last forever and it’s the best feeling in the world. When it’s gone, it fucking sucks and you want it bad so badly you’ll drive yourself crazy trying to get it.” There’s an ache in my chest, wow, my friend is hurting. I don’t say anything, I don’t know what to say. So I hug her instead. She holds me tight, her body trembling with grief. Then she whispers words, words so full of pain they almost split me in two. “He doesn’t love me anymore Marie. It doesn’t matter what I do, it’s gone and I don’t know why. It’s gone and it’s never coming back.”