“But,” I motioned down to the patch of ground he occupied a second ago.
“It’s all right.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
His eyes softened as he shook his head. “It didn’t hurt,” he assured me, “it simply caught me off guard. I’ll be ready this time.”
Burrowing myself just a little deeper into Alex’s side, I nodded, still unsure, but willing to trust Jocelyn’s judgment. If he said he’d be able to handle it then we had to at least try. I should have been happy to finally get a chance to help, and part of me was. But there was a much larger part of me that was still reeling from seeing Jocelyn fall to the ground, not knowing what I might have done to him. No one had ever reacted so violently to anything I’d done with my ability, and the idea that I could actually hurt someone without even realizing it, wasn’t one I enjoyed. Making a mental note to never do anything to anyone again without first asking permission, I took a deep breath and looked up. “OK.”
Once again Jocelyn turned back toward Ciaran’s grave, and once again I joined our abilities and began to slowly feed my strength into his, watching him closely for any signs of pain or distress. The moment our abilities melded, I did see a slight waver in his stance, but instead of sending him to his knees, it seemed to flow through him, easing the tightness in his muscles and relaxing the strain from his face. When he closed his eyes a few seconds later and a slight grin lit his face, it didn’t look as though he was working at all.
“There are scattered partial memories,” he began, “but only one full enough to read. It is from the last day of his life. It’s a prophecy, something regarding his journal…”
The journal again. There had to be something to that thing…
“It looks as though this prophecy was his last one.”
“That’s probably why it’s still so strong,” Cormac mused quietly.
“But it is only a portion of it,” Jocelyn said, his brow furrowing slightly. “The first line was written earlier in the day, but I can’t make it out. This memory only contains the second half.” He paused again while we waited anxiously.
“…can pierce the shroud…
” he dictated, finally needing to concentrate a bit, “
…of my sight.
” I waited for more, but after that, he opened his eyes and stepped away from the grave.
“Wait, that’s it?” That couldn’t be it.
“That’s all,” he nodded, and I broke our connection.
“‘Can pierce the shroud of my sight’; what does that even mean?” I asked.
“I don’t know. We need the first half, but that portion of his memory is gone.”
“And there was nothing in the memories that were left saying what it meant?”
“I could only see that he seemed to believe that it was in regard to his journal, but that was all.”
“Hmm,” Cormac hummed thoughtfully. “Odd for a Seer to know what a vision pertains to.”
“What do you mean?” I asked
“Seers only receive messages, not their meanings. Unless it contains a specific reference, prophecies tend to be very vague and their wording cryptic.”
“Yeah, I noticed,” I grumbled.
Cormac turned to Jocelyn who joined us back on the path. “And there was nothing else? Perhaps earlier in his life?”
“Nothing discernible,” he said shaking his head, “only fragments too small to read.”
“Wait,” I interjected, turning to Jocelyn. “You said that the first part of the prophecy had been written earlier that day? As in written down onto something? Was he writing the part that you saw?”
“Yes,” he cocked an eyebrow at me. “There was a side table next to the bed he was in.”
“Was the first part of the prophecy on that same page?”
“Possibly, but I’m not positive. He wasn’t looking at the page while he was writing, so anything else on it wasn’t a part of the memory.”
“But he wrote it that day, and if that was the day he died, he probably didn’t get out of that bed…” I tapered off, almost laughing at where my train of thought was taking me.
She was going to flip...
“What are you getting at?” Alex asked from my side.
“Don’t you see?” I said. “Sounds to me like all we need is the room where he died… and a Time Walker.”
CHAPTER 15
It only took about half the drive back to the manor to convince Jocelyn to bring Chloe out to be our Time Walker. He’d agreed that time walking back to Ciaran’s last day and reading the prophecy for ourselves would be the best way to proceed, but getting him to see that Chloe was our best choice for our walker took a little convincing. However, with Alex and even Cormac on my side, it wasn’t long before he saw that Chloe was truly the only option. There weren’t any other walkers at Adare that we were certain we could trust, and although Chloe wasn’t a powerful enough walker to be able to get what we needed on her own, if I was able to help her the way I had Jocelyn, she should have no problem getting us the remainder of the prophecy.
When we arrived back at the manor, Jocelyn went to call Mr Anderson and tell him that he would be bringing Chloe with him when he came out. After that, he and Cormac were due to meet with Brassal and a few of the other men for drinks and billiards in one of the lounges where they planned to try and find out where Ciaran might have spent his final days. They took Alex with them so that he could do some invisible poking of his own, while I, on the other hand, was off to nowhere, to do another round of nothing. Awesome.
I made my way back to my room, irritated that my bout of usefulness in the cemetery had been so short lived, and I realizing how tired I was getting of being the only one who never seemed to have a job to do other than take up space. Sure I was supposed to do “research,” but until we actually got the books from the archives I couldn’t even start that, and pretty much everything else I’d tried to do thus far – talk to Steven, spy on Bastian, and so on – had gotten me into trouble. But at least my room was safe, and actually, I was feeling a little worn out from the ordeal in the cemetery and could use a rest. But sadly, there was no rest to be had.
“Becca!” I heard Alva call just before I could make it into the hallway.
Great. “Hello,” I smiled, turning to greet her.
“I’m so glad I caught you, dear,” she said, coming up and placing a hand on my shoulder. “I was just on my way to your room.”
“Oh?” No way this was headed anywhere good…
“Yes, I was coming to let you know that the reception tonight for all the young Holders has been moved from the terrace to the library.”
“Reception?” Guess I should have read that itinerary I got at check in.
“Oh yes, it’s a wonderful time. There will be food and music and all the younger members of our company will be there. You know, without all us old folk getting in the way,” she winked, making what I assumed was a joke. “We will all be having dinner downstairs, so you will have the place to yourselves.”
“We don’t all have dinner together?” I asked. How was I going to get out of this if I didn’t have Jocelyn or Cormac to use as an excuse?
“No, not tonight. The second night is always our social evening. The first night is the gala, then the social, then we will all be back together tomorrow night for dinner and the theater troupe performance.”
“That sounds like fun.” God help me.
“Wonderful!” she beamed. “And I will make sure to let Bastian know you will be there tonight so he doesn’t miss you.”
I tried not to cringe as her eyes twinkled mischievously. She really was trying to get Bastian and I together. I didn’t know what pissed me off more: the idea that she was treating me like a broodmare for her prized stud, or the fact that she was actually lending credence to his cover story. Unable to fake the sort of response I knew she wanted, I simply did my best to smile, which seemed to be enough. She patted my arm once more before turning back the way she’d come, leaving me to resume the walk to my room.
When I finally got there, I kicked my shoes off and flopped onto my freshly made bed, trying to fight away the knot of dread already rolling around in my stomach. A room full of teenaged Holders, staring, whispering and judging me, with no Jocelyn to draw any of the attention away. Oh yeah, this was going to be great.
As I kicked back the covers and snuggled down into the mountain of pillows, I did my best to look on the bright side. After all, I would have Alex there with me to keep me company. Actually, it could be nice, the two of us together, no Jocelyn hanging over our shoulder. Of course we would still have to be careful, but at least we could be seen together without raising suspicion. It would simply be me, hanging out with the only other person there that I knew – nothing weird or suspicious about that. Hell, if we played our cards right, it might almost be like a date. And then maybe after the reception…
With a smile I dozed off, just maybe looking forward to the evening after all.
“What do you mean you’re not coming?”
“I’m sorry, Leannán,” Alex said as he adjusted his tie. “I wasn’t invited to the youth reception, my invite is for the adult dinner.”
I was beyond miffed. After my nap, I’d gotten all ready for the reception, fully believing that Alex and I would be going together. I’d come down to meet him so that we could walk up together, but instead of being in his own room I had found him in Jocelyn’s, dressed and ready to go – just not with me.
“That’s crap,” I said. “You’re not an adult.”
Alex cocked his eyebrows. “Pardon?”
“You know what I mean,” I rolled my eyes, “not an adult like them.” I waved at Jocelyn and Cormac.
“The old men,” Cormac chuckled as he checked his tie in the mirror.
“No,” Alex said, “but I am twenty-two. They have to draw the line somewhere.”
“Yeah, but you’re close enough. Couldn’t they have at least asked?”
“There was no need to ask,” Jocelyn said, taking his sport coat off the hanger and sliding it on. “As far as anyone knows, Alex is here as my associate. They would have had no reason to think that he would have any interest in the reception for the younger members. The fact that they included him in the invitation at all is fortunate, so we are not about to complain.”
“Well, there is no way I am going to this thing by myself,” I said, fully prepared to spend the rest of the night in my room.
“Oh yes you are,” Jocelyn said, straightening his cuffs. “Everyone here will either be up at the reception or at dinner with us, and you will not be the only person missing.”
“No one will even notice,” I insisted, though I could already tell I was yelling at a wall.
“We both know that is not true,” he said, turning off the lamp, “and we also agreed that you would do everything you could not to draw undo attention to yourself, and hiding in your room will do exactly that.”
“Fine,” I sighed, realizing there was no way I was going to win this. “But I am leaving the second it becomes socially acceptable to do so.”
“Which will not be before 9 o’clock,” he added for me.
“
Nine?
” I whined, but was interrupted by Alex taking my shoulders and turning me around.
“Come on,” he laughed, as he guided me toward the door. “Don’t make it worse.”
A few minutes later, after bidding the men a bitter farewell, I took to the stairs like a convict to the guillotine, each step slower than the last. Truth be told, I could have gotten out of it, but that would’ve meant that I would have had to tell Jocelyn the truth; that I was scared. Scared of having to deal with all the staring and whispering on my own. Scared that Shannon would be there talking about me to anyone who would listen. Scared that I would have to admit to myself that I wasn’t as tough as I’d always thought I was. And I couldn’t do that. I wanted Jocelyn to know that I could be relied on as an active member of the Order, and allowing him to find out that I was worried about idle gossip and catty bullies would not help my case. So off to the reception I went.
As I neared the library and began to see other Holders my age, I decided that if I had to spend the evening socializing, I might as well make the most of it. When I’d met Shannon’s father that afternoon, I’d decided that I’d had enough of being intimidated by strangers, and I meant it. I was done hiding and ready to take this auburn haired bull by the horns and show her that I was not about to be daunted by anyone, especially not someone I thought as little of as her.
With my new plan driving me, I set my sights on the library keeping my chin held high, pretending not to notice all the eyes following me as I made my way up to the door. The long room hummed with voices as I made my way in, scanning the dozens of faces for my target. I spotted her about half way down the length of the room to my right. Here we go; this was it. I was going to walk up to her, introduce myself, and end this nonsense once and for all. Shannon Gallagher, prepare to be met.
Although… I did have to pass right by the drink table to get over to her… and I
was
really thirsty… Maybe I should grab a punch on my way…
Thirty minutes and two drinks later, I was standing at the end of the drink table hating myself. Why was this so damn hard? Was it because I missed out on the normal high school experience? Was that where you were supposed to learn all this stuff? I’d kept my eyes on her the whole time I’d stood at the bar, trying to figure out what the hell it was about her that got to me so much. Had it been Chloe, or Ryland, or anyone else in my shoes, I would have told them to rise above it and not to give her another thought. So then why did I constantly let her beat me? I mean, what was there to be afraid of? I hadn’t even
met
her!
Finally something in me snapped. No more. I threw back the last of my punch, gathered up more bravado than I wanted to admit I needed, and walked across the room without so much as pausing to take a breath. Before I let myself change my mind, I stepped up to the small group that Shannon was talking with and introduced myself.
“Hello,” I said, praying my voice wouldn’t shake as they all turned toward me. “I hope I’m not interrupting, I just wanted to come and say hi. I’m Becca.”
“Yes, of course,” one of the girls to my right said. “It’s lovely to finally meet you. I’m Aiofe.”
“Brennan,” the boy next to her said, offering me his hand which I shook.
“I’m Kerra,” the girl opposite me said, “and this is Miach,” he motioned to the second of the two men who also offered me his hand.
“Pleasure,” he said.
“And Shannon,” Kerra added with an uncomfortable nod when it became clear that Shannon was not going to introduce herself.
“Yes,” I said turning to Shannon, my courage growing. “It is nice to finally meet. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Shannon looked down at me, her smile somehow only adding to the contempt in her eyes. “Have you? How kind of you to say.”
“How are you enjoying your time with us so far, Becca?” Miach asked after a strangely awkward pause.
“It’s certainly been interesting,” I said, going with the nice version of the truth.
“You grew up in the States, yes?” Kerra asked.
“Yes.”
“How long have you been in Ireland?”
“Almost three months now.”
“Quite a big change, was it?” Brennan asked.
“Not as big as I thought it would be.”
The conversation continued pleasantly as I answered questions, surprised to find that they all seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say. Turned out that Aiofe had done a semester abroad in America studying at Harvard, and Brennan had been accepted for a semester at Columbia the following spring. It was turning out to be a far pleasanter conversation that I would have thought possible. The only problem was the fact that there was one member of our circle who was decidedly not participating.
“That reminds me,” Kerra said, after Aiofe made a comment about enjoying some of the current American fashion trends, “your gown was stunning last night, Becca. Who was your designer?”
“Madame Loute.”
“Oh, isn’t she fabulous? She did the gown for my last birthday, I just loved it!” Kerra raved.
“And isn’t her shop amazing?” Aiofe asked.
“Spectacular,” Kerra agreed.
“I actually didn’t get to see it,” I said. “We didn’t have much time, so she came out to St Brigid’s to make mine.”
“Wow,” Kerra said. “I didn’t know she would even do something like that.”
“Becca,” Shannon said suddenly, causing all of our eyes to fly in her direction. “I could do with a refill,” she said, holding up an empty glass I hadn’t even realized she’d been holding, “would you care to join me?”
“Sure,” I said, noting how the other four decidedly turned away and began casually talking amongst themselves as though obeying some silent command. Did this chick seriously run the world, or was it all just a coincidence? I wasn’t sure why, but somehow it didn’t feel like the latter.
We walked silently together, stopping at the drink table so Shannon could fill her glass, then stepped off to the side and looked out over the room.
“This must be wonderful for you,” she said after a taking a dainty sip of her punch. “All this attention.”
“Actually, I don’t really care for it,” I said, trying not to let my sudden nerves show.
“Come now Becca,” she chided, a snide edge to her tone, “false modesty may be better than none, but it still isn’t very attractive. I think we both know that you are quite enjoying the spotlight. So much so that when it doesn’t come to you on its own, you have to go and seek it out.” She lifted her glass slightly and gestured with it toward her friends.
“I wasn’t seeking anything,” I said, mortified that I was actually blushing.
“Of course you were,” she said taking another sip. “If not, you would have stayed over at the drink table where no one had even bothered to notice you.”
“Well, it seems like someone took the time to notice me,” I challenged, “or she wouldn’t have known where I was standing.”
She glared down at me, her face a perfect mask as her hazel eyes frosted over. “Yes, well it’s always easy to spot the thing that doesn’t belong.”
“What is your problem?” I asked, beyond sick of her crap.
“That’s simple; I don’t tolerate mediocrity. And I certainly don’t celebrate it. My friends may have been kind enough to humor you, but don’t mistake cordiality for acceptance. Learn where you belong,” she handed me her empty glass with the slighted jut of her chin as though I was nothing more than one of the staff, “and we’ll get along fine.”
With that, she turned on her heel and floated back over toward her friends, leaving me standing with her discarded glass while everyone around us pretended not to be watching out of the corners of their eyes. I set the cup down on the end of the drink table, straining to keep my face relaxed and casual as though nothing at all had happened – even though it was clear they all knew better.
Desperate to leave, but not willing to let them see me cower, I feigned an interest in the hors d’oeuvre table, which just so happened to be on the way to the door.
Don’t walk too fast, they’re watching. Keep smiling…
I scanned the selections thoughtfully, not actually seeing a single one.
Don’t let your hands shake, they’ll see. Keep smiling…
Pretending not to find anything that I wanted to try, I glanced over to where Shannon and the others were gathered, to see if any of them were looking at me.
Don’t let them see you looking. Don’t let your nostrils flare. Keep smiling, keep smiling…
When I was positive that none of them were looking, and that the majority of the people around me had lost interest and moved on to other entertainment, I took my opportunity and slid quickly through the door and out of the room, not stopping until I was down the hall, down the stairs, and around a corner, tucked into a small dark alcove in an unlit hallway, completely out of sight. Backing all the way against the alcove’s high window, I stood there for I’m not sure how long, silently venting all the things I couldn’t bring myself to say to her face.
Mediocre? I’ll show you who’s mediocre… And your friends were not humoring me, you cow! What’s wrong, mad that they wanted to talk to me more than you? Gee I wonder way that could be… Oh! causeyou’re an evil bitch!
I leaned back against the window and crossed my shaking arms, refusing to let the tears I felt stinging my eyes fall. It was bad enough I was hiding for the second time in two days, I was not about to add crying to the list of things I could be ashamed of having done this trip. But much as I hated running and hiding, there was no way I was going back up to that reception, 9 o’clock or no. Now the only thing to do was figure out how I could get back to my room from here without anyone seeing me.
However, just as I went to come out of my hiding nook, I heard the tap of footsteps in the adjacent hall coming my way. Having no desire to get caught hiding in a corner like scared cat, I stepped back against the window and slid behind the long velvet curtain, pulling myself completely into the shadows.
I held my breath as the silhouette of a man appeared, quickly turning the corner from the main hall into the one I occupied, ducking behind a stone pillar just across from where I stood. He hesitated there for a moment with his back pressed to the pillar and his head turned to the side, listening carefully as he remained perfectly still. When only the echo of silence followed him, he glanced around once more before stepping out from behind the pillar and into a ray of light from the window he passed beneath.
It was Bastian.
I’d wondered why I hadn’t seen him at the reception – who knew it was because he was busy playing shady secret agent?
Ducking his head, he continued on down the dark hall, quickly and quietly like a sinister breeze. I watched him turn to the left at the far end of the hall before I stepped out into the light myself and followed him, my adrenaline already pumping. Sneaking around again, was he? Well, his luck was about to run out.
I hurried down the hall, peeking around the corner I’d seen Bastian turn before tiptoeing down it as well. I began to worry I’d lost him until I heard low voices carrying from an open door a short way off. Barely allowing myself to breathe, I crept into the hollow of the door next to the occupied room, craning my neck to hear what was being said.
“So he did go?” an older man’s voice asked.
“Yes,” said another man, “this afternoon.”
“Did he get anything?”
“Not sure. The four of them went together, so it was too risky to follow, but they were only gone just over an hour. That would mean he spent less than twenty minutes at the grave.”
My chest clenched as I deciphered their words. “Grave’.” “Four of them.” They were talking about us.
“Doesn’t sound like enough time to get anything. Especially if he didn’t know what to look for.”
“But if he didn’t find anything, there is no way Liam will be able to, even with the help.”
“Doesn’t matter, we still have to try. If the weather holds out, we go immediately after the game. If it doesn’t, then we leave at dawn…”