Battle Lines. (6 page)

“I wanted to know if I was right.” He told her simply.

“And what has that achieved exactly?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Now I know.”

“You know that I lied to you.”

“Yes.” Amanda watched him clench his jaw.

“And that’s it? That somehow makes you happy to know that I lied to you.” She asked him

“It doesn’t make me happy Amanda, far from it.” He told her grimly.

“Then I don’t understand why you did it. You should have left well enough alone.” She told him.

“I am not about to give up on you… even though it looks as though you have given up on yourself.” Jake look disdain-fully around the room and then back to her.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean Jake?” she deman-ded hotly.

“Well look at this place.” He swept an impatient hand round the very small room with its limited amount of furniture, and it really was limited. A two seater sofa, one small table. A bookshelf and some sort of cupboard thing in the corner. She didn’t even possess a television.

And they had all been bought second hand. Not in a really up market second had shop either. They all had seen far better days.

Amanda knew that it wasn’t much but she lived alone and spent most of her time at work so she really did not need much. Just a place to eat and sleep.

“If you are going to insult my décor then you can leave.” She knew that that was not what he had meant but she pleaded ignorance anyway.

“Amanda… I just want to look out for you. Make sure you are okay. Like brothers are supposed to.”

“I do not need anyone to look out for me.”

“Really?” he raised a questioning eyebrow.

“I have managed just fine all by myself.”

“Yes, I can see that.” Jake drawled as he cast a disdainful eye over the room. His eyes picking up the patch of damp in the corner of the room. Of course he would notice that.

“And you are not my brother.” She told him crossly.

“You’re right. I’m not.” He clenched his jaw tightly together.

“Look, we both lead very different lives now. Whatever happened between us in the past we should leave it there? That’s where it belongs.” Tiredness had begun to take over and Amanda put a hand up to rub her sore eyes. She just wanted to sleep.

“What is it that happened between us?” Jake asked her. That was a conversation she was not willing to have with him. Not in the privacy of her living room, with no witnesses, anyway.

“Nothing happened between us.” She told him firmly.

“Are you sure?”

“Nothing happened.” She repeated.

“And yet you keep trying to convince me that nothing happened.” He told her.

“That’s because nothing did.”

“Then why keep mentioning that fact?”

“Jake…” She huffed. “Look, you owe me nothing Jake and I owe you nothing.” Jake snorted in disgust.

“We are a family.”

“Stop saying that. We are not a family.” She told him, her voice rising angrily.

“We lived as a family Amanda or had you forgotten that.”

“No, we never lived as a family.” She adamantly refused to give in on the point. Her teenage years had been hell because of him and there was no way that she was going to let him off that particular hook.

“When your parents took me in I was already in my early teens. My life up until then hadn’t been easy. But your family showed me kindness, affection. They showed me how much better my life could be.”

“That doesn’t give you the right to try and run my life.” She told him.

“We were a family.”

“No, stop saying that.” She stopped him almost screaming the words at him. “We were never a family Jake. We will never be a family.”

“Your parents were good people. Your mother is a good person. They worked hard at showing me that I was worthy of affection and … even love.”

“Yes, it was just a shame that there was a fly in the ointment. Me.” She told him.

“No.” Jake told her firmly.

“Yes. Trust me I did us all a favour.” She told him. “You got the better end of the deal.” She told him bitterly, forgetting who she was talking to. Forgetting how much she was giving away.

“You liked me in the beginning. Do you remember how you used to follow me around? You looked up to me once. But as you grew older, things changed. You began to act as if you hated me. Despised me.”

“And you don’t know why.” She cut in sarcastically. “You want me to explain. To hash over the past.”

“No.” He cut in scathingly through her words with his harsh tone. “I know why. It is you who appears to be blinded to the truth.”

Amanda looked at him then, had he just found a way to tell her that she did not know her own mind? He had hadn’t he. The absolute arrogant conceit of the man.

Who the hell did he think he was? How dare he presume anything about her.

He had come back into her life for five minutes and already he was trying to tell her what she thought and felt. As if he knew her better than she knew herself.

“I did not like you.” She stepped closer. “Because my parents spent more time on you than they did on me, once you arrived on the scene I never got a look in. I was pushed to the side lines. You…” She pointed a shaky accusing finger at him. “You could do no wrong in their eyes. You were Mr Perfect incarnate. The golden son they had never had. The son they had always dreamed of having. You were the perfect son who was a swan in comparison to the ugly duckling here. Every day I had to endure comments such as, why can’t you be more like Jake? See how Jake is doing? Jake doesn’t do things like that. And then… and then… my father handed over his business to you.”

Her voice rose higher as pent up hurt erupted to the surface.                                                                                    “Not me, you.” Breathing hard she stopped. “I was his real family. His own flesh and blood and he handed it all over to the dirty gypsy who moved in with us.”

Amanda knew that her words were very cruel and if she were honest most of them, if not all of them, were not true.

But, she had hurt over the past ten years and she wanted Jake to feel some of that pain. She wanted him to know what it had felt like for her.

Chapter 6.

“Oh for heaven’s sake.” Jake swore under his breath. “Are you really listening to the utter garbage that is coming out of your mouth?”

“It’s not garbage.” She denied.                                                                    

“Dad was going under Mandy. Bankrupt, broke. You were under the age of sixteen at the time. There was no way you could have possibly taken over. The law would never have allowed it and you knew nothing about business matters. You knew nothing about life. I was the only viable choice to take over and try and save it. And save it I did.”

“Well congratulations.” She derided him. “How very wonderfully marvellous of you Jake.”

“Maybe if you had bothered to stick around things would have changed. Dad was going to bring you into the business once you were old enough and if that was what you wanted.” Jake told her.

“I did not want to stick around. I did not want to endure watching you play happy families with my parents, and I certainly didn’t want to be partner’s with you. Business, or otherwise. You forced me out Jake.” She told him bitterly.

“That is just an excuse. How the hell you have managed to convince yourself that that was the reason you left god alone knows.” He ran a hand through his hair and Amanda watched transfixed as her stomach clenched and did a funny flip.

“That is not an excuse Jake. It’s the truth.” Trying to ignore her reaction.

“It is an excuse and deep down you know it. You wouldn’t be trying so hard to convince yourself if it was the truth. Would you Mandy?”

“Stop calling me that.”

“You don’t like being called Mandy?” he asked. He knew damn well she didn’t. Jake had been the only person to have ever done it and the only person that had gotten away with calling her it.

“No one calls me that.” She pulled herself up to her full height and although she was often taller than most men Jake still towered over her. She had to look up at Jake’s handsome rugged face.

Her green translucent eyes shot barbed darts of hate at him. But he wasn’t afraid of her temper, she could tell. Most men would have made a run for the door by now. Her temper was known to be quite explosive. But Jake had always been made of sterner stuff and he firmly held his ground.

He had never been intimidated by her and that knowledge often left her feeling vulnerable when she was in his presence.

“If you felt left out or pushed out then that was your own damn fault. No one twisted your arm to make you run away. That was all your own doing Mandy.”

“Oh that’s right make this all my fault, that’s just typical of you Jake. Everything has to be my fault.”

“You are blowing it out of all proportion. And do not put words into my mouth Mandy.” He warned her.

“I didn’t.” She shouted at him. “You said it was my fault I heard you. And don’t call me Mandy. I hate it.” He was deliberately goading her with it. He had when she had been a teenager and had wanted to get under her skin. She had hated it then and she hated it now.

“Sorry Mandy.” Jake said.

“Your two minutes are up.” She warned him. Why couldn’t he just leave now?

“Five minutes.” He corrected. “I have three left.”

“The front door is this way.” She told him sweeping her hand toward the door.

“Mandy.” He was deliberately trying to provoke her and if she had been able to keep a rein on her temper. She would have seen his tactic for what it was. But, as so often in the past, where Jake was concerned she rose to his baiting far too easily and he knew it.

“Jake, leave.”

“Mandy, Mandy, Mandy.” He baited again.

She sprung across the room like a tiger. Her arm went out, hand outstretched and she brought it across ready for the resounding satisfying crack of skin on skin.

Her hand though never made contact with his cheek. Jake had anticipated the move and he deftly without effort caught hold of her wrist mid swing.

She found herself pulled hard up against him by her wrist and she winced in pain as she collided with the thick expanse of his chest. The breath forced from her lungs.

He wrapped his other arm around Amanda’s waist and she was pulled even closer to him so that her body could feel the contours of his.

Her heart jolted in her chest, her pulse tripping over itself. But there was something else. A sudden lurched from between her legs. She gasped as she felt the start of that throbbing sensation again.

The heat from his body infused her immediately. She shivered as her skin began to tingle and her senses were engulfed in the pure natural energy discharging from his body.

Before she had time to react or to think he lowered his head towards hers. Running on automatic pilot Amanda tilted her own head back and Jake’s lips plundered hers.

Amanda’s knees buckled beneath her and in response Jake’s arm tightened protectively around her. His fingers caressing the small of her back as she gasped as ripples of pleasure danced along her spine.

Jake used the opportunity to deepen the kiss. His tongue slid across the inside of her lips gently, tentatively as though testing her. She did not fight it, instead her body sprang into life as it yearned for his touch.

She was shocked by her reaction to him. She had kissed before, not many men but a few. It had never felt like this. Jake’s tongue delved deeper into her mouth and a groan escaped from her throat. Jake tightened his hold on her, bringing her closer to him.

Her head swam dizzyingly. Any coherent thought she might have had was lost. Every fibre in her body was singing, crying out to be touched by Jake. How could Jake make her feel like this? Jake of all the people in the world. There was no justice at all. Why did it have to be him?

She felt dizzy as emotions overwhelmed her and her heart began to pound and race restlessly in her chest so much so that she thought it would burst through her ribcage.

Amanda’s body softened against Jake. Her head was screaming at her body to fight it, but her body was not listening to her. It had developed a mind of its own and it was turning traitor on her.

She wanted more, she was shocked to discover. She wanted to become as one being so that she did not know where he began and she ended. Amanda groaned against the delicious assault of his mouth.

Jake released the grip on her wrist and his hand came up to rest seductively by the side of her breast. Her breasts began to tingle and throb, her nipples hardened and swelled against the confines of her dress.

Her dress became uncomfortable now and she suddenly wanted to be free of it. What she wanted, what she needed, was to feel Jake’s hands on her breasts, to feel skin on skin contact.

She gasped in shock by her own train of thought and she tried mentally grasping at some kind of sanity in order to save herself.

But his hot lips became more urgent more demanding. Commanding her to match his urgent need and she did so.

It was almost like the kiss of a man that had been yearning, thirsting for this one moment in time. As if he had been aching, longing for this chance.

And now that he had been given the chance he was feeding hungrily from her. Devouring her with every movement, every sweep of his tongue. Every nip of his teeth.

Amanda had to put some distance between them now. She was fast losing all grip on any kind of reality. Even time had ceased to exist. If she did not stop it soon then it was only going to end up one way.

It was never supposed to be like this between them. It should never have felt so good, so right. She hated him and she should never forget that. She hated him.

But even though her mind was screaming at her. Her traitorous body was singing a different tune all of its own as though it were no longer a part of her.

“Mandy…” Jake whispered her name huskily against her receptive mouth. His lips moving slowly to her cheek to rain little tender kisses that had her shivering feverishly against him and her fingers dug themselves into his arms. His lips trailed a burning path to her ear lobe were she gasped and moaned as he took her lobe into his mouth.

Her heart was beating erratically now. She was going to explode if he did not stop what he was doing. A sob tore from her throat. She thought she heard herself telling him no, but it did not sound like her own voice anymore.

She wanted him to stop… no she didn’t, yes she did. Amanda heard the deep groan that ripped from her chest. She didn’t know what she wanted anymore, the lines that had been drawn between them had blurred and changed in an instant.

Jake’s hand came up to cup one breast, which just made things worse as Amanda’s body began to burn. She groaned and arched her back trying to move closer to his teasing hand. It wasn’t enough she wanted more. She wanted his hands on her bare skin. Her dress had become restrictive and she wanted to be free of it. She felt his thumb rub over her nipple and it hardened into a taut peak.

She was breathing heard now, spirals of pleasure rippled in her stomach and leading on a path down between her legs. She could feel the deep throbbing there. It had become unbearable.

This had to stop now. This was only going to end up one way. She knew that with all certainty and she wasn’t ready for that.

Jake stiffened as he felt Amanda mentally pulling away from him. He wanted her to stay mind, body and soul. He gathered her to him and his lips came back to her swollen alluring mouth.

His tongue dipped into her hot sweet mouth. She moaned, a low slow animal sound. God, that sound was driving him wild. Did she not know just what she was doing to him?

Jake breathed in deep, gathering her scent into his lungs as his tongue delved deeper into her mouth. Exploring every part of her. Urging, demanding a response from her and she gave it, matched it.

Hungrily he fed from her lips. His hand on her breast teasing her flesh, teasing her nipple.

Amanda held on to whatever last bit of sanity she had left and in a desperate bid for self-preservation she tore her lips away from his.

She pushed at him with her hands to try and free herself before she was tempted to give in again. Jake held on tight for a brief second as he wavered between letting her go and trying to keep her there.

Amanda won and Jake dropped his hands and he watched as she stepped back. A bewildered look on her face as she looked at him. Her face infused with bright colour. Her lips swollen from his kisses and her eyes burning with passion. Passion he had made her feel. A thrill of pleasure ran through him as he took in the look upon her face. He had put that look there.

“Hate… is the last thing you feel for me Mandy. It is the last thing you have ever felt for me.” He told her bluntly, as he trapped her eyes in his gaze. She noted the look of triumph on his face. The look of victory in his eyes.

Amanda could feel the tears, they threatened to spill down her cheeks.

“Get out.” She managed a croaky husky whisper. Was that voice really hers? It sounded strange and foreign. It sounded deep and throaty, seductive. Thick with passion. “Get out.” She repeated, her voice becoming stronger now as she tried to shake off the incapacitating feelings that were swamping her.

“Mandy.” Jake made a step towards her and, afraid that if he got too close at she might not so easily escape his grasp a second time, Amanda stepped back.

Moving sideways, she put the small two-seater sofa between them. Using it as a shield.

“Get out.” She screamed at him as she pointed a shaky hand in the direction of the door. Please go now, her heart silently pleaded. She did not dare look up.

She was too frightened of what she might see in those steel sharp eyes of his. She was too afraid what he might see in hers. If she looked at him, that would be that. He would reach for her again and she would go without a fight. She had to avoid that at all costs. She had already betrayed herself enough for one evening. 

“Mandy. We really should talk about what just happened.” He stopped as he watched her wince at his words and her head bent down towards the carpet at her feet.

Amanda shook her head but said nothing. Not only had she been humiliated by giving into his kisses he wanted to humiliate her further by talking about it. She did not want to talk about it. She wanted to forget that it ever happened, erase it from her memory so that it could not taunt and berate her.

“Y... y… you tho … thought that k… k… kissing me would make everything alright. T…t… that I wouldn’t be angry with you anymore.”

“No.” He told her firmly.

“You thought I would forgive you. Trust me that will never happen.” She sneered.

“That’s not why I kissed you.”

“You wanted revenge for all the mean things I have said to you.” She guessed. She could relate to that. She could not even blame him. She had said some very mean things to him. Most especially tonight.

“That’s not it.” He said again.

“Then why did you?” Even as she asked, she knew that she did not want to know the answer to that.

“I kissed you be –”

“No” she shouted. Desperately cutting him off and she put up her hands to cover her ears. She did not want to know. She was too frightened to know.