Read By Design Online

Authors: J. A. Armstrong

Tags: #Gay & Lesbian, #Literature & Fiction, #Fiction, #Lesbian, #Romance, #Lesbian Romance, #Genre Fiction, #Lgbt, #Lesbian Fiction, #Short Stories

By Design (8 page)

Candace
turned around and painted on a contrived smile. “Rachel,” she greeted the
woman.

Rachel
Hutton had been a partner in Candace’s ex-husband’s law firm. She was six years
younger than Candace, tall, slender, blonde, and nothing short of aggressive
both in and out of the courtroom. “Bored?” Rachel asked.

“I
wouldn’t say
that,”
Candace answered.

Rachel
took a step closer. “It’s never easy to endure these things alone,” she said
seductively.

Candace
sighed. This situation had the potential to devolve into an uncomfortable mess
quickly. “I manage,” she said lightly.

“Why
only manage?” Rachel asked suggestively.

***

“Oh
shit!” Dana sighed in frustration.

“What’s
wrong?” Steven asked.

“I
forgot my damn handbag.”

Steven
sighed through a chuckle. “I’ll turn around.”

“On
with the shoes,” Dana groaned.

“I’ll
run in and get it,” Jameson offered.

Dana
turned in her seat. “J.D., you don’t have to….unless, of course, there is some
reason you want to.”

Jameson
just shook her head. “Don’t worry about it,” she said. She sat silently in the
backseat listening to her friends bantering in the front. They had been
together since college, and Jameson envied their relationship. They had just
seemed to fit instantly. Many of their friends predicted that the real world
would signal the end of Dana and Steve’s honeymoon. Fourteen years and two
children later, the pair seemed as happy with each other as they had been at
twenty-one.

Jameson
looked at the townhouse as it came into view and readied herself. Perhaps,
Dana’s handbag was the excuse she needed to say what she had meant to say to
Candace. She opened the door and peered back inside. “Do you know where you
left it?”

“Yeah,
I set it on the table right outside Candy’s study when I said goodbye to the
vice president; unless someone moved it.”

“I’ll
be right back,” Jameson promised.

“Take
your time,” Dana said. “We’ll find something to do,” she laughed. Jameson
rolled her eyes and shut her door. Dana watched her go.

“You
left it there on purpose; didn’t you?” Steven asked.

“Me?”
Dana gasped in offense. “I can’t believe you would think that.”

Steven
laughed. “You watched too much
Spin City
,”
he said. “And, read too many romance novels. You should have put that on your
resume to warn Candy,” he told his wife.

“Watch
it Russo or you’ll be sleeping on the senator’s couch.”

***

Jameson
made her way through the thinning crowd until she reached the short hallway that
led to Candace’s office. She spotted Dana’s handbag and made her way to
retrieve it when she heard voices.

“Candy,”
Rachel implored the senator.

Jameson
could not resist the urge to peek inside the study. She felt her heart drop
rapidly in her chest when the tall blonde woman pulled Candace to her. The
woman’s hands wrapped around Candace’s waist tightly. Jameson looked to the
ceiling and then closed her eyes in an attempt to banish the image. She turned
quickly on her heels and left.

“Rachel,”
Candace started to pull away.

“We
could be so good together,” Rachel whispered.

Candace
closed her eyes for a moment. She had made this mistake once; lost her senses
after one too many glasses of wine and led Rachel to her bedroom. It had been
nothing more than a one night stand for Candace. Rachel continued to see it as
a potential opening for more. Candace finally pulled away more forcefully.
“Stop,” she said.

“I
don’t understand you,” Rachel said. “You can’t tell me that you didn’t enjoy…”

“I
never said I didn’t find you attractive,” Candace admitted. “I’m not in love
with you.”

“Don’t
you think we are getting a little old for that kind of fanciful thinking?”
Rachel asked.

Candace
shook her head. Did she? She thought for a moment. The singular image that
played in her mind was Jameson. “Maybe,” Candace finally answered. “Maybe it is
fanciful. That doesn’t make it impossible.”

Rachel’s
sweet expression did little to conceal her displeasure at Candace’s assertion.
“Candy, are you looking to martyr yourself as the Queen of Broken Hearts?” she
asked. Candace’s gaze grew petulant. “Love is for the young and fool hearted.”

“And,
what would you suggest in its place?” Candy wondered.

“The
three A’s; attraction, acceptance, and alliance.”

Candace
nodded. “You certainly picked the right town to pursue that equation. I think
you might find that theory is flawed,” Candace suggested. She went on to
explain. “You left out a few A’s; arrogance, apathy, and animosity; to name a
few.”

Rachel
threw her hands in the air. “You are impossible.”

“And,
you are relentless,” Candace said with a wink.

“Who
is she?” Rachel asked. Candace just smiled. “Oh, so there is someone,” Rachel
teased. Candace lifted both brows and shrugged. “Well, now that you’ve broken
my heart….”

“Didn’t
you sell that old thing years ago?” Candace poked.

“Some
of us do have sense; you know?” Rachel returned.

“Come
on, I’ll buy you a free drink,” Candace offered.

“Chivalrous
to the end,” Rachel said.

“Always,”
Candace winked.

***

“J.D.
just stay,” Dana said.

“No,
I have a lot to do. I’m just going to rent a car and drive home.”

“What
happened last night?” Dana asked.

“Nothing
happened, Dana. There are a lot of new projects I need to look over at the
firm; that’s all.”

The
change in Jameson’s mood from reflective to sullen was evident. Dana wondered
if Candy had said something to upset Jameson. That seemed unlikely. She
couldn’t imagine what had caused Jameson’s apparent need to get away. “J.D.,
Christmas is Thursday. Why don’t…”

Jameson
set her bag on the bed and faced Dana. “I just need to go.”

“Call
her,” Dana implored her friend. “Whatever happened, and J.D., I know something
happened; just call her.”

Jameson’s
downcast glance nearly broke Dana’s heart. “I’m not sure that’s such a good
idea right now,” she said softly. “Thanks for everything,” Jameson said,
reaching to hug her friend. “The drive will be good for me,” she promised.

Dana
watched as Jameson retrieved her bag and started to leave the room. She sighed
dramatically, wondering if she should intervene somehow. Steven caught her in
the hallway and knew immediately what she was thinking. “Dana, whatever it is;
you have to let them work this one out.”

“I’ve
never seen J.D. like that.”

Steven
agreed. “She loves your boss,” he tried to relieve the tension.

“Yeah.”

“Maybe
Candy just doesn’t feel…”

Dana
shook her head. “Steve….I’ve never seen Candy the way she is with J.D.”

“Jessica?”
he asked.

“No.”

“So,
maybe she just…”

“Is
terrified?” Dana suggested.

“Candy;
terrified?” he scoffed at his wife’s idea.

Dana
turned and looked at him. “Yes, terrified. You know what that whole thing did
to her.”

 
“Of J.D.?” he asked in disbelief.

“No,
of what she feels for J.D. and what that means. Maybe I should call…”

“No.
This is between the two of them, Dana. It’s not a story you need to spin. It’s
their story to write. Have a little faith in them. They’ll figure it out.”

“What
makes you so sure?” she asked doubtfully.

“I’ve
never known either of them to back down from a challenge,” he said.

Dana
snickered at the observation. “Well, that’s true,” she said.

“Come
on, we’ve got some alone time now before the kids come home.”

“Looking
to take advantage of your best friend’s misfortune?” she asked.

“No,
just looking to take advantage of my wife.”

Dana
laughed and gave into her husband’s kiss. “Remind me to thank, J.D.”

Chapter Nine: What I
Should Have Said

Candace
set her phone on the table and put her face in her hands. “Mom?” Michelle
called to her quietly. Candace did not move. Michelle sat down beside her
mother and put a hand on her back. “What’s wrong?” she asked. When Candace
looked up, Michelle was startled by the tears in her mother’s eyes. “Mom?”
Candace just closed her eyes and shook her head. Michelle sighed. “What
happened?”

“I
really don’t know,” Candace finally answered.

“J.D.?”
Michelle guessed. Candace nodded. “Did you have an argument over something?”

Candace
laughed nervously. “Not exactly.”

“Okay?”

“She
kissed me.”

Michelle
was puzzled. “And, that is a bad thing?”

“I
don’t know,” Candace answered truthfully.

“Did
you kiss her back?” Michelle asked curiously. Candace looked at her daughter
indignantly. “Okay….Well, what then? She’s a bad kisser?” Michelle was stumped.

“No,”
Candace laughed nervously.

“Okay;
so she’s a good kisser?”

“Shell!”

“I
guess I don’t understand what the problem is,” Michelle admitted. “What
happened next?”

“I
got called away,” Candace said. Michelle nodded and waited for her mother to
continue. Candace sighed heavily and got up from her chair. “And, I didn’t say
anything,” she admitted in frustration.

Michelle
watched her mother closely. Candace covered her eyes and massaged them wearily.
“What did you want to say?” Michelle asked cautiously. Candace closed her eyes,
took a deep breath, released it slowly and looked to her daughter helplessly.
Michelle smiled. “So, why didn’t you tell her?” she asked her mother. Candace
shook her head. She felt an enormous sense of self-loathing. “Mom,” Michelle
made her way to her mother. “You can still tell her; you know?”

“I’m
not so sure about that,” Candace said.

“Just
call her.”

“I
tried. She hasn’t returned any of my calls.”

Michelle
offered her mother a compassionate smile. “So? Why are you here?” Candace was
stunned by the question. “Marianne will forgive you....eventually,” Michelle
giggled. “You can sulk and worry here or go see J.D. and find a way to be
happy.”

“Shell….it’s
not that simple.”

“It
is that simple,” Michelle said flatly. “What’s complicated?”

“Jesus,
Shell! For one thing, Jameson is only six years older than your sister! Think
about that in twenty years,” Candace argued. Michelle pursed her lips in
defiance. “Michelle,” Candace groaned. “My life is not ready made for…”

“For
what? For a relationship or for a relationship with J.D.?” Michelle interrupted
her mother. “J.D. is old enough to make her own decisions. And, you deserve to
be happy, Mom,” she said lovingly. Candace’s doubtful expression pained
Michelle. She grabbed both her mother’s arms and looked in her eyes. “Stop
making objections like this is a case to argue in the courtroom or on the Senate
floor.”

“Shell…I
don’t even know if she wants to see me. I froze. I just….”

Michelle
smiled. “Do you love her?” she asked knowingly. Candace closed her eyes in
resignation. “Oh, Mom.”

“It’s
Spencer’s first Christmas,” Candace said tacitly.

“Yes,
and you know that he will be here next year. Can you say the same thing about
J.D.?” she asked. Candace could not answer. “Go. I’ll handle Marianne.”

“When
did you become so determined?”

“I
learned from the best,” Michelle said. Candace chuckled as Michelle embraced
her. “I love you, Mom.”

“I
know you do. I love you too, Shell.”

“So,
go and do something for you; for once,” Michelle said. She could see her mother
teetering on the edge. “If you can’t do it for you; do it for J.D.”

“Shell…”

“That
must have been some kiss,” Michelle guessed. Candace nodded. Michelle picked up
her mother’s phone and handed it to her. “So, are you calling the airlines, or
should I?”

***

Pearl
stood at the sink keeping a close eye on Jameson. Jameson had met with the
construction team earlier in the morning. She had been markedly quiet
afterward. For the last hour, Pearl watched as the architect stared aimlessly
at the same screen on her computer. Occasionally, she would lift her cell phone
and look at it, sigh, and then put it back down. Pearl moved beside Jameson
with the coffee pot, refilled the half empty mug that sat beside Jameson’s
computer, and then collapsed into the chair that sat beside the younger
woman’s. “Care to tell me what is going on with you?” she asked.

Jameson
shrugged. “Just tired.”

Pearl
directed Jameson to look at her. “Jameson, I raised two children, not to
mention the horde that grew up in this house. I know that look.”

“What
look?”

“That
one. Candy sported the exact same expression for the entire week after Jinx ate
that bird. Now, what is going on? Someone eat your canary?”

Jameson
laughed in spite of herself. “No.”

“Look,
your folks are away, my kids are away. If you are going to spend your time
moping around here all through Christmas I will have to take some drastic
measures.” Pearl pointed to a small paddle that hung on the wall. It was
adorned with basically everyone’s name who had ever resided in the house. “So,
what is it going to be? You gonna fess up, or am I gonna give you your right of
passage?”

“I’m
an idiot,” Jameson said. Pearl was perplexed. “I didn’t know Candace was
involved with anyone.”

Pearl’s
eyes flew open. “What on earth are you talking about?”

Jameson
shrugged sadly. “I just made a total ass of myself, that’s all.” Pearl looked
at Jameson to explain. “I kissed her.”

“Candy?”
Pearl asked for clarification. Jameson nodded. “And, she told you she was
involved with someone?”

“No….”
Pearl put up her hands in questioning. “No. She didn’t say anything at all.”

“And,
that made you think she was seeing someone?”

“No.”

“Jameson!
What on earth are you talking about? Did she push you away?” Jameson shook her
head. “What would give you the idea that Candy was involved with someone?”

Jameson
groaned. “I had to go back to get Dana’s bag. She was with that, well there was
this gorgeous blonde that…”

“Rachel,”
Pearl rolled her eyes.

“I
don’t know. I just…they were close. I felt stupid. Of course, she would be…she
just never said anything.”

Pearl’s
howl of laughter startled and confused Jameson. “I’m sorry, Jameson. Candy
would no more be involved with Rachel Hutton than she would become a
Republican,” she continued to laugh.

“I
don’t know…”

“Oh,
I do know. Look, it’s not my place….Rachel’s been after Candy for years,” Pearl
said. Jameson looked at the older woman expectantly. Pearl sighed deeply. “One
night, right after everything blew up with Jessica in the press; Candy had a
few too many glasses of wine….Well, let’s just say as hard as Candy has tried
to forget it, Rachel has never let her.”

Jameson
felt mixed emotions in the knowledge that Candace had been with the other
woman. “How do you know…”

“I
know my Candy,” Pearl said assuredly. “Jameson….Look….I’m going to tell you
something, and I want you to listen to me; okay?” Jameson nodded. “Candy
is…well, there are always people pursuing her, some for the right reasons, most
of them with little regard for who Candy really is. It’s always been that way,
even before she was in office,” Pearl explained. Jameson smiled. Candace was a
strikingly attractive woman. She was charming and intelligent, and she came
from a well-connected family. It was easy for Jameson to comprehend anyone’s
desire to be with the senator. Pearl continued. “She’s beautiful, she’s smart,
she’s wealthy, she’s compassionate,” Pearl said.

“Yes,
she is,” Jameson agreed with the assessment.

Pearl
smiled. “Mm—hm. You see the real Candace, Jameson. Some people only see the
senator now. They don’t see the parts of her that she has let you get to know.
The mom, the daughter, the woman at the center.”

“I’m
not sure I follow,” Jameson admitted.

“I
know you love Candy,” Pearl said. Jameson made no comment. “I can’t speak for
her and I won’t, but I’d bet this house that she held on tight when you laid
that kiss on her.” Pearl saw Jameson’s lips turn into a small smile. “I told
you, I know my Candy. If you hope to have any kind of relationship with her,
you are going to have to accept the fact that there will always be people
trying to win her away. And, you are going to have to trust her.”

“Pearl,
I don’t even know how she feels.”

Pearl
laughed. “Yes, you do. You wouldn’t have kissed her otherwise.” Jameson sighed
again. “She’s not as complicated as she likes to think,” Pearl said. “Her life
can be. To be truthful, that’s what happened with Jessica.”

“What
do you mean?”

“Jessica
is not the witch Michelle and Marianne, and the press think she is. She
cheated. That devastated Candy. I think Candy also knows Jessica loved her;
even then.”

“I
can’t imagine cheating on a woman like Candace.”

“No,
I know you can’t. Jessica was always jealous of the attention Candy received.
Candy can make you feel like a million bucks; like you are the only person in
the world that exists when she is talking to you. That’s her job. And, she is
sincere when she is with you, but it’s never meant as a slight to the people
closest to her. Those few people in her personal life; they are Candy’s world.
Jessica never understood that. She tried to compete when she never needed to. I
think she wanted Candy to feel that; that fear.”

“Now,
I feel like a bigger idiot.”

Pearl
winked. “Love will do that,” she said. “Now, stop staring at that little box
and call her.”

***

“I
could have gotten a cab,” Candace said to her son-in-law.

Rick
smiled. “I really can stand to miss this episode of The Sibling Wars,” he
joked.

“Sorry
about that,” Candace said with a smirk.

“Don’t
be.”

“I
do feel badly about leaving,” Candace admitted.

“Don’t,”
Rick said as he pulled up to the curb. “I know Marianne comes on a little
strong. She does love you.”

“I
know.”

“We
all do,” he said. Candace smiled. “She just worries. And, I think part of her
worries about losing you.”

“Losing
me?” Candace asked in disbelief.

“Yeah,”
he said with a sideways grin. “I don’t think you realize how much your opinion
means to her.”

Candace
was surprised. “She’s my daughter, Rick. I would do anything for her.”

“Yeah,
I know that. So does she, but she’s always trying to prove herself to you; you
know?”

“She
doesn’t have to prove anything.”

“You
are a lot to live up to,” he said earnestly.

Candace
shook her head. “Not really.”

Rick
nodded. “You just don’t see it.”

“You
are the second person to say that to me recently.”

“I’m
betting the other is the reason you are getting on that plane,” he said. Candace
smiled. “Sounds like a winner,” Rick said. “Shell is right, Mom,” he said.
Candace was curious. “You deserve to be happy.”

“I
guess we’ll see,” Candace said.

***

Candace
took her seat on the plane. She took out her cell phone with the intention of
calling Pearl to inform her of her impending arrival. She was surprised to see
the missed call and voicemail notification. She wasn’t certain she was prepared
to hear the message, but she thought at the very least it would prepare her for
what she might be confronting soon.

“Hey. It’s me. Guess you know that, though; huh?”
Candace smiled at the sound of Jameson’s voice. “I don’t want to interrupt your
visit with your family, so you don’t need to call back or anything. I just
wanted to say Merry Christmas. I just…” Candace listened intently as Jameson’s
voice trailed off. “Just, have a good holiday. I’ll try to get these birds on
the wall before the New Year.” Candace laughed. “Oh, Jinx says hi and…well, I
guess I should say….I miss you. Anyway, say hi to Shell. Merry Christmas,
Candace.”

Candace
closed her eyes in relief. Maybe she would get the chance to tell Jameson the
truth after all. She put her phone in airplane mode and stowed it in her bag.
“A few hours,” she muttered.

***

Pearl
was in the kitchen fixing some lunch for her and Jameson. Jameson had headed into
the study to do some work after their morning conversation. She had been
secretive about the room, instructing the construction crew to leave that room
for her personal attention. Pearl had peeked in unknowingly and immediately
understood the reasons why. This was Candace’s favorite room. Jameson intended
to honor that with care. Jameson had been on a ladder hanging familiar
wallpaper when Pearl left to start on lunch. Pearl smiled as she put the bread
away and went to set the sandwiches she had made on the table. She wondered if
Candace had any idea how lucky she was to find someone like Jameson Reid.

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