Authors: Kristen Strassel,Allyson Starr
“Ellen”—Bret still had his mom, so he called mine by her first name—“I’ll check the schedule as soon as we get off the phone, so you can start making arrangements. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this.”
My phone died just after that. “Gemma, what the hell is wrong with you?” Mom asked.
I let Bret get the best of me again.
Today was my graduation day. But instead I was going to my dad’s funeral. My emotions ran rampant. The entire world as I knew it was over. I locked myself in my old bedroom. It was nice to have that option. If I were still in New York, I wouldn’t have this luxury. I didn’t live in Manhattan anymore. I’d packed up my boxes and borrowed more money from Mom to rent a van. I was staying with her until I figured out what I was doing next.
Mom picked up Bret from the airport last night, but I had yet to see him. I’d rolled my eyes when I heard his voice in the hall. He’d banged on the door, waking me up, and yelled, “Gem!” as he passed by, like he was still on a tour bus.
I’d bought this
black, flowered sundress with fluttery straps for my graduation, and it was a little too
everything
for a funeral. Too short. Too tight. Too low cut. Fuck it, this wasn’t a fashion show. I put a sweater over it and pulled my long dark hair up in a bun. It dressed it up a little bit. If I stuck to the original plan, I was spending the day with my dad, wearing my graduation dress. Not going to his memorial service. On paper it didn’t make a whole lot of sense, but it was going to get me through this nightmare of a day.
Bret stood at the bottom of the stairs when I came out. It was a long time since I’d seen him in person. Of course, I’d seen him on the Tumblr video. And—I can’t lie—all the others I watched since. They weren’t all as outrageous as the double-groupie-fucking one, but I couldn’t stop.
“You look good,” I said. He looked better than ever. He’d found time to get a black suit while on tour in Europe. The T-shirt that hugged his chest underneath looked expensive, and the top of the tattoos that decorated his collarbones peeked out. He’d kept his light-brown hair down. It fell straight, a couple inches past his shoulders, and the contrast between the outfit and the man underneath was mouthwatering.
And he was my asshole stepbrother. Whose father just died. I was going straight to hell. I wasn’t passing go, and knowing my luck, I’d probably have to pay a two hundred dollar cover charge to get in.
His green-eyed gaze was like laser beams on my cleavage. “So do you.” He might as well have said
nice tits
and got it over with.
Breathing the same air as Bret instantly turned me into an irrational bitch. I have no idea how a wonderful man like my stepfather could be half responsible for creating the spawn of Satan, but I had a full appreciation of why he divorced his first wife. Evil genes must run rampant on her side of the family.
Bret was openly ogling my tits.
You’ve watched him fuck every night this week
, I reminded myself. He smirked when I crossed my arms over my chest. “My eyes are up here,” I said.
“I know.” He didn’t look up.
As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t avoid him today. It was a miracle neither of us burst into flames when we walked into the church. I sat next to him in the pew, and he put his arm around me and let me cry on his shoulder. His breath caught in his chest, and I didn’t have to look up to know he was in the same boat.
Longest day ever. By the time everyone left the house, and I helped Mom clean up, I was nearly blind from exhaustion. One last check of the back yard to make sure nothing was left out there, before I went upstairs to crash.
“Have a drink with me, Gem.” Bret sat on the deck, looking out at the pool no one had a chance to get ready for the season. Dad opened it every Memorial Day, but he didn’t make it this year. Bret still had on the pants and T from the suit, but had taken off his jacket and shoes. He’d found a cooler and had beer on ice already.
I almost said no, but Mom had begged me to try to get along with him. I wondered if she told him the same thing. I sat down across the table and grabbed a drink. It tasted so good after today.
Neither of us said anything right away. That weird, ever-present tension took the third seat at the table. I didn’t have the energy to fight with Bret tonight. Looking at him leaning back in the chair, his head tipped toward the sky, I didn’t think he did either.
“Well, that sucked,” Bret finally said, and then took a long sip of his beer.
I laughed. “Yeah, it did.”
“You and Ellen put together a good day.” He sat up, shaking off whatever place he’d let his mind wander to. “I felt like shit, stuck on the tour when I should’ve been helping you guys, but I had no way out of those shows. The last fucking thing I wanted was to pretend everything was perfect and go through the motions, when all I could think about was Dad.”
“I’m sorry.” Holy shit, I apologized to Bret. What the hell was happening with the universe? Even stranger, I meant it. Could I do this? Forgive him for all his obnoxious behavior? Start fresh? Maybe. Mom asked me to try to get along with my stepbrother, and maybe this was how we’d keep our family together.
As long as I stopped watching those videos.
“I wasn’t that much of a help, either. I was stuck in New York, taking my finals, or else I wouldn’t graduate.”
Bret raised his eyebrows. “Oh, yeah. When’s your graduation?”
“Right now.” I frowned, reality slapping me in the face. A swig of beer went a long way toward making the sting go away.
“Shit. I’m an asshole.” Bret shook his head. “I made everyone work around me, and you missed your graduation.”
He wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t know, but he’d been pretty frigging solid all day, and I didn’t want to ruin it. “It’s just as well,” I said. “I wouldn’t have walked, anyway. It doesn’t feel right to celebrate anything right now.”
“That’s for damn sure.” He picked up his beer and clinked my bottle. “Happy Graduation, Gem.”
It was the sweetest thing anyone had done for me in a long time. “Thanks.”
“We’ll celebrate eventually. When shit gets back to whatever normal is now.” He leaned back again, this time staring at the pool with a smile. “What are you doing this summer?”
“Mom got me an internship at the zoo. I had a couple different options, but this was the only local one. I originally took it because it was going to be my last chance to hang out at home. It’s not a paid internship, and I’ll probably spend the summer shoveling shit out of cages and feeding animals, but I need the experience.” I also came home because Dad had been so excited about that sailboat, I couldn’t wait to sail with him. Now I was glad I took the internship, for completely difference reasons. This was where I needed to be.
“Are you a doctor now?”
If only it were that easy. I still had years to go before I was anything. “No. I still have to go to grad school.”
“When’s that? In the fall?” Bret seemed genuinely interested. “Where are you going? Sorry if I sound stupid. I don’t know anything about this stuff.”
“It confuses everyone. And I don’t know. I didn’t apply yet, because my GRE scores—that’s the test you have to take to get in—weren’t great, and I want to go to Ithaca. But so does everyone, and admission is extremely competitive.” Plus I had no idea how I was going to pay for it, even if they decided to let me grace their campus with my presence. “I’m hoping the internship turns into a job, and then I can study and take the test again.”
“That’s a lot of hard work. I’m proud of you.” Maybe Bret wasn’t such an asshole anymore. He actually made me smile.
“Thanks. What are you doing now?”
He stretched in his chair. “The tour’s over. We’ve been on the road for two years with this album, and we’re going back in the studio in the fall. This is the first time, in I can’t remember how long, I’ve got some time off. I’m going to hang out here and help Ellen get things in order. Open the pool. Make myself useful.”
I could think of a few ways. Bret was going to be wet and nearly naked in that pool all summer long, and I was going to have to act like his body didn’t affect me in any way. The next two months were going to be an exquisite form of torture.
I needed my head examined. Bret was acting like a perfectly normal adult, and I was sick and twisted for thinking about him like that. His good behavior would never last. It was a matter of time before he brought home an endless string of girls and probably fucked them right in front of me.
If I could be so lucky.
“Where do you live?” I really had no idea. We’d gone our separate ways the second we had the chance.
“I have an apartment in Nashville, but it’s just a place to crash when we record. I’ve been on the road for so long, I’m not attached to any one place.”
I grabbed another beer. “How’s it going to be for you, being home? Nothing ever changes around here, even though our lives are totally different now. You’ve got to feel the same way. It’s weird. Like I’m moving a hundred miles an hour, and Newport moves in slow motion.”
Bret nodded, sipping on his own fresh beer. “Perfect way to describe it. But somehow the universe knew I needed to be here.”
“Yeah.” Shit. This was weird, getting along with Bret. “I almost took an internship in San Diego, but something told me to come home.”
“It’s gonna be a good summer, Gemma.” Bret held his beer up to the sky like a salute. “Dad wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.”
Bret made good on his promise
.
Within two weeks, the pool was up and running.
I knew I’d be busy at the zoo, but I didn’t expect the job to be so exhausting. School couldn’t have possibly prepared me for carrying around the animal cages, lugging feed, and crawling around, cleaning things while trying not to be eaten by a wild animal. No matter how tired, filthy, and poor I was, I got a chance to do what I loved, and I would do everything in my power to turn it into a real job—one I got on my own merit, not because my mommy worked there.
Even though Bret got work done around the house, I didn’t see much of him. He hadn’t been home in years and didn’t actually have a job, and he was out every night. He’d drunkenly stumble into his bedroom after midnight, and I was up and out before he got his ass out of bed. So far, I
hadn’t watched any more of the videos on Tumblr, since he slept in the room next to mine. I didn’t just worry I’d get all worked up and do something stupid. I also had no idea how I’d react if he posted something new. I flushed in jealous rage just thinking of it. Which made me even madder. It wasn’t like I could ever act on this ridiculous obsession.
Maybe it was better that we were on completely different schedules.
Mom and I had the day off. We were scheduled the same days, since she was my ride. Today she had a meeting with Dad’s lawyer. I was psyched. This was the first day I had nothing to do. My plan was to sit by the pool and read something that wasn’t a textbook while I evened out my farmer tan.
It was hot as hell, so I brought my Kindle and drink over to the top step of the pool. I was lost in my smutty story, trying to picture the hero as anyone but Bret. I almost fell out of my chair when he dropped a bag of sod near the diving board. I hadn’t realized he was there.
He closed his eyes and wiped the back of his hand across his forehead. His whole body was soaked in sweat. A dark triangle had formed from the collar of his T-shirt down to his stomach. The material clung to his chest, but not for long. He pulled the shirt over his head, glorious abs glistening, kicked off his shoes, and jumped in the pool. I held my breath right along with him, as he swam the length of the pool underwater. He flipped his hair back when he came up. The spray soaked me.
“Hey.” I raised an eyebrow from behind my Kindle.
“Oh, hey. I didn’t see you.” He walked over, water beading against the tattoos on his chest. Bullshit, he hadn’t. I hadn’t met his gaze yet. Mine was glued on the silver loops going through his nipples. I knew he had them. I’d stalked all his social media sites, and Bret had no problem showing the world his body, but now they were close enough to touch, and they’d never been more off-limits. Bret didn’t notice. His gaze fell to its usual latitude. “Nice bikini.”
“Thanks.” I bought it a couple years and maybe about twenty pounds ago. I had no problem with my body, but I believe my ex called me a fat bitch when he told me to fuck off.
That
made me want the d-bag back. Whatever. I didn’t own a scale, but the bikini didn’t cover things exactly like it used to. Side boob was abundant, my tummy rolls were visible, and the bottom was a bit less than full coverage now. I should’ve given Bret shit for saying something, but there was an off-chance he meant it as a compliment. “Need any help?” I asked.
“Yeah.” He stepped over me to get out of the pool. “Grab
the flowers, and I’ll carry
the rest of the sod. I should be done with this today. I talked Ellen into having the Fourth of July party. It was Dad’s favorite holiday. It would be nice to celebrate him in style. You got any plans?”
“Not yet.” None of my friends came back to Newport this year. They’d all settled into internships or new jobs somewhere else. I hadn’t had a chance to get friendly with anyone at the zoo yet.
“Keep me company at the party,” Bret said as I followed him out to Dad’s truck. “So far it’s a family and neighborhood thing.” He handed me a plastic pallet, full of petunias, and his hand brushed mine as I took it from him. He’d picked pink, white, and purple, and I laughed to myself at the thought of the heavy metal man whore picking out flowers. “But I’m sure you can find something better to do than hang out with me.” He smirked as I wiped dirt away from my chest.
“Probably.” Even worse than watching those videos, I liked the way he was looking me. I took my time cleaning myself up, and Bret’s gaze followed my every move. “It’s not like
you ever owned up to me before.” He was out every night, his old friends welcoming him back.
“What are you talking about?” He scoffed.
“It used to drive me nuts in school when I told people you were my stepbrother, and they called me a liar because you’d already told them we weren’t related.” I followed him back to the car.
He handed me the last palette. “We’re not. Your mother married my father. That’s all.” He shrugged, and I gave him a dirty look. The cool green of his eyes looked even lighter now that he’d been working outside so much. I was the first to look away.
“They thought I was nuts. Like I was some weird stalker chick.” Of course they believed Bret over me. He was older and always had a pull over people, which made him perfect for what he did.
He wiped more sweat from his forehead. “You always were a little nuts. And you’re getting fried.”
I’d been about to launch into him about calling me nuts, when I looked down at my chest. Bright red. “Shit,” I muttered and grabbed my sunscreen. I’d forgotten to put it on.
Bret followed me over to the table. “Let me get your back for you.”
“No,” I said too quickly, reaching around and trying to get my shoulder blades. “I’m good.”
“Gem, you can’t reach. Give that to me.” He ripped the bottle out of my hand, then rubbed the lotion between his palms. “The only thing worse than a sunburn is an uneven sunburn.”
I ignored him.
“Turn around,” he said in a tone I’d never heard before. The low timbre of his voice vibrated in all the wrong places. If I made too big a deal out of this, shit was going to get weird. Weirder. I rolled my eyes and sighed before doing what he said.
His big hands were rough from playing guitar and all the work he did outside. He didn’t miss a spot; he rubbed the lotion in like he was giving me a massage. I was so glad he couldn’t see my face when he ran his hand under the string of my top. I pulled away from him before I untied the thing. “That’s enough. I can get the rest. Need help with anything else?”
“No.” Bret rubbed the rest of the lotion into his arms. “Thanks. I have a plan for how I want it to look.”
“Don’t trust me not to fuck it up?” I’d only offered to be nice. Going back to my book and watching Bret do all the work was more than fine with me.
“Maybe a little.” He winked. “It’s just easier to do it myself than explain what I want.”
“Control freak.” I laughed and picked up my Kindle.
“You better believe it,” he said before he walked away.
I went back to the top step and tried to get back into my story about the billionaire CEO and his clueless yet sexy secretary. He’d tied her up and told her all the ways he was going to fuck her, and I had to go down another step to hide my squirming. The hero’s demands
sounded like Bret’s voice in my head, that low commanding
inflection he’d used when he wanted to put sunscreen on my back.
Bret had forgotten all about me, hard at work, shoveling sod into the flower beds. A new layer of sweat slicked his skin, and his muscles tensed as he picked up the shovel. He looked up and caught me staring at him open mouthed. The smile he gave me before he continued his mission
was enough to make me implode.
“Can I get both of you for dinner tonight?” Mom came out on the deck, still dressed from going to the lawyer. “Nothing formal. We can eat out here if you want. I just want to talk to you about what happened at the meeting today.”
“Yeah, I’m not going anywhere,” I said, and then looked back to Bret, who shrugged and nodded.
**
There was no putting a bra on. My shoulders were fried. I had a maxi halter dress that still rubbed against my angry skin, but it would sort of hold the girls up. A little dressy for the occasion, but it had to do. If Bret wasn’t there, I’d just throw on a T-shirt, but he stared at my chest enough already.
I helped Mom make Caprese salad while Bret cooked chicken on the grill. It was one of those gorgeous nights after a hot day, when the air cooled down just enough that we could sit outside. Mom had made some sort of rum punch. She and Dad drank at home, but she was never big on us doing it, even as adults, so I considered it an omen.
“How was your meeting, Ellen?” Bret asked the question that loomed heavy as we dug into dinner.
“Good. I probably should’ve had both of you come with me,” she said. I wasn’t sure what the big deal was. She probably got everything. I was sure Dad left a little something to me and Bret, but I didn’t expect much. “The way things were worded was a little tricky, so hopefully we can work things out without any problems.”
“What happened?” I asked. Dad would never leave anything up in the air. “Should you have another lawyer look at it?”
“Maybe.” Mom took a long sip of her drink. She got up from the table and came back with a folder. “I’m going to read the part that pertains to both of you out loud, and then you can ask questions if you have any.”
Bret and I looked at each other, eyes narrowed.
Mom put on her glasses. “A sum of five million dollars will be given to either Bret Starling or Gemma Starling. The money is only to go to the one who needs it the most. Bret and Gemma are to decide this between themselves and submit their answer to the will executor within ninety days of my passing.”
There was so much
what the fuck
in that statement, I didn’t even know where to start.
“We have to decide between ourselves which one deserves the money?” Bret asked.
Mom nodded. “The last sentence reads,
I trust they’ll do the right thing
.”
Five million dollars. Holy shit. It would solve all my problems and then some. I could start an elephant sanctuary or donate heavily to ones that could use that kind of cash. So many animals would benefit from this. What the hell would Bret do with the money? He’d piss it away partying and have nothing to show for it. Maybe a bunch of groupies would get new tits. I couldn’t think of one good thing that’d come of him getting the money.
“That’s crazy. Are you sure this is legal? It doesn’t seem like something Dad would do.” Maybe I had heatstroke. Dad would never leave something like that up in the air. He knew we’d kill each other before we played nice over that kind of money. “Can’t we just split it?”
“That was the first thing I asked the lawyer. He said, legally, no. It has to be one of the other. You’re both free to contest it, of course.” Mom took off her glasses and tucked the document back into the folder. “Honestly, I’d like to see the two of you work this out. It shocked me too, but I know how much he wanted to see you get along. Maybe this was his way of doing it.”