Fighting Temptation (Men Of Honor) (48 page)

“Jaxson, it’s alright. This is normal.”

“She’s right,” Dr. Gordon jumps into explain, “During pregnancy she will be having many things happen internally. This is still not going to hurt her and once she’s further along, then the camera will be placed on her tummy.”

I grab Jaxson’s hand and smile in reassurance, “It’ll be alright. You will see.”

Jaxson lets out a doubtful breath, “Alright, just be careful,” he says a little too harshly.

Again thankfully Dr. Gordon does not let this affect him. “I promise, she’s in great hands.”

He hits the button on my bed to lay me down more, and I get into position. Then he reaches under the blanket and inserts the camera.

Jaxson is tense and glares at the doctor the whole time.

I grab the side of his face and brings his gaze to mine. I smile, “It’s alright Jax, I’m fine.”

Suddenly static and a fast thumping sound has both Jaxson and I snapping to the monitor.

“Alright let’s have a look,” Dr. Gordon hits a bunch of buttons and points to the screen at a small looking bean that pulses to the rhythm of the thumping.

“Holy fuck Jules, that’s our baby,” Jaxson says in wonder.

Dr. Gordon chuckles, “Yes it is, the flickering you see is the baby’s heartbeat. It’s nice and strong.”

A small sob mixed with a giggle escapes me, “Isn’t this so cool Jax?”

I glance over at Jaxson when he doesn’t respond. He’s watching me with a big smile on his handsome face. “Ya real cool,” he says getting up and kissing me on the forehead. Then he sits back down and we both watch the screen in interest and excitement.

Dr. Gordon explains everything to us and measures the baby at around 6 weeks.

“When are we able to find out what the gender is?” I ask excitedly. I definitely want to find out. I won’t be able to wait that long.

“Around the eighteen week mark, which is when your next ultra-sound will probably be scheduled for. Dr. Bayer is your physician, correct?” I nod my response. “Then I will make sure she gets these results. Everything looks great though, your baby looks strong and healthy.”

I look over at Jaxson through my tear-blurred vision, “See. Just like you.”

He drops his head in my lap and shakes his head. I run my fingers through his hair and don’t say anything else and neither does the doctor. He packs up his stuff and I thank him for everything, then he’s gone. Jaxson moves up beside me and holds me. We stay quiet and try to absorb everything we just saw.

“Our baby is going to be real fucking cool Jules.”

I giggle and hug him tighter, “Ya it will be.”

A week later I’m thankful to be getting out of the hospital and going home. My discharge papers have just been signed and Jaxson is packing up the rest of my stuff.

I look around at all the flowers and balloons that fill my room and feel so blessed and loved to have the friends that I do. The whole week I had constant visitors. Grace and Kayla even set up a little celebration party with everyone in my room to congratulate Jaxson and I on the baby. Jaxson, Sawyer and Cade also shared the news on them buying the gym. I thought it was a great thing for Jax, but most of all I was so happy that Cade and Sawyer were going to move here. They have become like the brothers I never had, the same way Cooper has always been to me. We were all like one big family, even Jaxson and Kayla called a truce. Well mostly, Kayla still loves messing with him and, to be honest, I can’t ever see her stopping.

Jaxson stayed with me almost the whole time, only the last few days did he step out for a bit. He made sure someone was with me every time that he did. Sawyer, Cooper and Cade always went with him. I know he was up to something but I have no idea what.

“Okay I think that’s it,” Jaxson says walking out of the bathroom, looking his usual sexy self, “Cade and Sawyer are going to come by later and grab all the flowers and balloons for us.”

When I don’t answer Jaxson stops and looks at me. I smile at him when he sees me watching him.

He drops my bag and closes his eyes, “Stop looking at me like that,” he says roughly.

“Like what?” I ask innocently. I’m sitting on the side of my hospital bed with my feet dangling close to the ground. My white baby doll sundress lays against my upper thighs. I’m still covered in bruises but they have faded immensely.

Jaxson’s low growl brings me out of my thoughts. He starts over to me, stands between my legs and leans over me, bracing himself on his arms. He brings his mouth so close that his lips barely brush mine as he says, “Like you want me to do things to you that I can’t do… especially right now.”

I moan when he brings his mouth fully on mine. He keeps the pressure gentle, like he has been with me all week. As much as I love this side of him, I want his other side back, the aggressive Jaxson. We haven’t talked much about what happened with Wyatt; it’s just as difficult for me to talk about it, as it is for Jaxson to hear. I’ve had this overwhelming desire of just needing to be with him, for him to be inside me, to erase the memories of having Wyatt’s hands on me. I need all of Jaxson to do that.

“Uh knock knock,” Coopers voice breaks up our kiss. Jaxson pulls back, his eyes shining bright with naked lust. He kisses me on the forehead before turning around and facing Cooper.

“What are you doing here?” Jaxson asks him confused.

Strangely Cooper doesn’t look at him, but only addresses me, “Um Jules there’s someone here who’s been wanting to talk to you. Is it okay?”

“Sure, who is it?” I ask confused, wondering why Cooper seems so nervous.

“Well…”

“Me,” Ray Jennings says, walking in behind Cooper.

My anxiety spikes and in a flash Jaxson is moving towards him, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Cooper grabs Jaxson before he can reach Ray. “What the fuck are you thinking bringing him here?” Jaxson shouts angrily at Cooper.

“Easy man, he just wants to talk to her. He’s not here to start problems. I wouldn’t have brought him otherwise.”

“I don’t give a fuck, he’s not welcome anywhere near her,” Jaxson says pushing away from Cooper.

“It’s alright Jaxson.” I don’t know why on earth he wants to talk to me, but I know Cooper wouldn’t have brought him here if it were to start trouble.

“No it’s not. You don’t have to listen to anything he has to say Jules, you fucking owe him nothing.”

Ray ignores Jaxson and keeps his gaze on me, “He’s right, you don’t owe me anything but I feel like I owe you. And I’d really like it if you would hear me out, Miss Julia.”

I take in Ray’s appearance and for the first time the wealthy, powerful man looks unkempt. He has dark circles under his eyes from exhaustion, his clothes are wrinkled as if he slept in them, he looks… sad.

I nod my head, “Alright go ahead.”

He nods back and lets out a relieved breath, “Well, first off, I just want to say I’m sorry. Real sorry for what my son did to you. I knew he was quite taken with you but I did not think he was obsessive. Over the last few days I’ve learned things about him that I never knew and for that I am truly sorry.” His eyes start to well up and he swallows thickly, “If I would have known I would have gotten him help.”

I can only imagine how hard it was for Ray to hear half of the things he did about Wyatt. Including dealing cocaine, which is how Melissa was supplied for her drug habit.

My heart starts to ache for him because I realize that although I am not sorry Wyatt is dead, I am sorry Ray lost him. As far as I know Wyatt is all Ray had. Wyatt’s mom died when he was a small baby and Ray never remarried after.

“I know my apology doesn’t make up for what he did, nothing will. But I’d really like to take care of your medical bills if you would let me.”

“No!” Jaxson shouts before I can say anything, “we don’t need your fucking money.”

“Jaxson, stop!”

Ray shuffles nervously and clears his throat, “Like I said I know this won’t make up for anything but I would really like to do something to show how sorry I am.”

I think about it for a few seconds before responding, “Alright,” I say quietly, then I throw my hand up at Jaxson’s angry protest, “thank you for your apology and I will accept your offer to pay for my medical bills.”

“Jesus Christ! Unfuckingbelievable!” Jaxson says angrily.

I glare over at him, not appreciating his outburst.

Ray clears his throat again, “Well, thank you for hearing me out and letting me take care of them. Again, I’m real sorry. I’m glad you and your baby are alright,” he turns around to leave.

“Mr. Jennings,” I shout, stopping him before he can walk out the door.

He turns around and my heart breaks when I see a tear fall from his eye, “Despite all that happened to me at the hands of your son, I know his value to you is what my baby is to me, and for your loss, I’m so sorry.”

He watches me for a second as if he’s looking at me for the first time.

He nods his head, “Thank you,” he croaks out before heading out the door.

I sit there for a moment in silence, staring at the closed door Ray just walked through. Then I’m covering my face and sobbing into my hands as sadness sweeps over me. I know I shouldn’t feel this turmoil, Wyatt’s death was unavoidable, even necessary, for my baby and I. But I just can’t help feel sad for Ray, knowing he is all alone. So many lives were affected from Wyatt’s actions, not just mine.

A second later I hear the door shut again, which I’m assuming was Cooper leaving. Then I feel Jaxson come to stand in front of me. He leans down and rests his hands on my thighs.

I keep my face buried in my hands, “I know you don’t understand me taking his money and I know you don’t like it. But he’s hurting too Jaxson. He didn’t do this to me, Wyatt did. And if letting him pay for my bill brings him any small measure of peace then I’m going to accept it.”

I feel Jaxson plant a gentle kiss on the inside of my thigh then he rests his head on my leg, giving me comfort. “You’re right I don’t understand it, and I don’t like it, but that’s because you’re a better person than I am.”

Another small sob escapes, “I just want everyone to stop hurting, including myself.”

Jaxson tightens his grip gently, “I know baby. You’ll get through this Julia, I’ll help you.”

And I know he’s right, because he is all I have ever needed.

“I have to say Jax, this is kinda kinky, we should try this sometime,” I say teasingly, as I sit in the passenger seat of his truck blindfolded.

Jaxson growls, “Julia, behave yourself. I’m serious.”

After we left the hospital we had stopped to grab something to eat in the truck on the way home. It was way past supper time, by the time we had left the hospital. Halfway home Jaxson pulled over on the side of the road and blindfolded me, telling me he had a surprise for me.

I feel the truck come to a stop, “Are we home? Can I take it off now?”

“No don’t take it off yet. Just wait, I’ll come around to get you out.”

Jaxson slams his door and I wait for him to come to my side. I’m bouncing with excitement, dying to know what he’s up to. I’m assuming this has to do with the few times he left me at the hospital.

My car door opens, I turn around and feel Jaxson’s hand span my hips. I have to say, all joking aside, feeling his touch on me while blindfolded is a major turn on. My hands find his shoulders as he helps me down. When my feet touch the ground I wrap my arms around his neck and his hands wrap around my waist. I feel him staring at me and also feel how hard he is against my stomach.

“Kiss me,” I whisper longingly.

He groans then leans down and kisses me. Again I feel him holding back.

“Come on,” he says breaking his mouth from mine too quickly.

The gravel crunches under my flip-flops as he leads me across it, holding my hand. Once we hit grass Jaxson stops then comes around behind me. My heart rate speeds up when he leans down and presses a kiss to the side of my throat.

The warm night breeze blows a few gentle strands of my hair across my face that has escaped my high pony. I moan when he flattens his hand on my stomach and pulls me back against him. “Are you trying to kill me?”