Read Finding the Way Back (Book 1 in the Forgiving Hearts Trilogy) Online
Authors: Erin Landy
A gleam of amusement appeared in Laurel’s eyes. “I didn’t even think of Rose. Take over the window for me; I’ll go find out if my sister is available to babysit.”
“Go ahead; I think I can handle it.”
Laurel returned after a few minutes. “Rose is hosting a party at her house tomorrow. Taryn loves makeup; she won’t mind trying out all the new shades of eye and lip color.”
“Now we just have to tell Taryn our plans and hope she finds them as fantastic as we do.”
“We could take her to get something to eat and fill her in on everything. I only have to work in here until halftime.”
“Don’t you think she’d rather be with just you?”
“If she had to choose between us, you’d be the winner. Taryn adores you.”
He looked away from her. “Only because she doesn’t know the truth.”
“She doesn’t need to know. You’re the one man in her life she can look up to. I would never do anything to jeopardize that.”
“You’re the most unselfish person I’ve ever met.”
Laurel shook her head sadly. “No, I’m not. Like I told you before, I didn’t want anyone’s pity. That would have been too much on top of everything else.” Turning away from him, she reached under the counter for her purse. “My sketchy lunch is catching up with me. I need peanuts.”
Before she could get her wallet out, Colton tossed a bag on the counter and dropped two quarters in the cash box.
“What are you doing?” she asked in surprise.
“You wouldn’t let me give you any financial support for over a year. Does that extend to snacks, too?”
“No, you can buy the peanuts. As for the other, it seemed hypocritical to accept money from you when I refused to live with you as your wife.”
“I can count on one hand the number of women who would have done as you did. The apartment we rented was based on my salary; I worried about you not having enough money to buy groceries or make your car payment.”
“Things never got that bad.” She opened the peanuts and poured some into the palm of her hand. After putting a few in her mouth, she held the bag out to him.
Colton shook his head. “No, thanks.”
“Not even if I get you a Coke. You used to put peanuts in your soda. I’d never seen anyone do that before I met you.”
“It’s tempting, but no. I’m still full from eating pizza and chocolate cake at the clinic. It was my secretary’s birthday, and her husband planned a surprise party during our lunch hour.”
“Oh, how nice!”
He stared down at his hands. “Yes, it was. They’ve been married almost a year and are still very much in the newlywed stage.” The silence that followed this comment only ended when Taryn came over to stand between them.
“I haven’t been to a high school football game since I graduated and even then I didn’t watch much of the game.”
Colton ruffled Taryn’s short hair. “I don’t think I want to know how you spent your time in high school. I’m going to visit with Patty.”
* * * *
Taryn jumped onto the counter and swung her legs back and forth. “Everything okay?”
Why did hearing about someone else’s marital happiness make her envious?
Laurel forced herself to smile. “Sure is. I’ll be finished in here at halftime. Colton and I were thinking of taking you out to eat.”
Taryn’s face lit up. “All three of us? That would be great. I was expecting to have to see you separately.”
“A few weeks ago you would have,” Laurel admitted. “God has worked a miracle in the short time I’ve been here. Things are much better between Colton and me, but obviously we still have a long way to go.”
“I’ll keep praying for you. If God can save me, He can save your marriage.”
Reaching across the counter, she clasped Taryn’s hand. “You’re right; but we have to be willing to let Him do it. I wasn’t interested in that until recently.”
Laurel heard Colton laughing at something Patty said and instinctively glanced over her shoulder. She’d always loved his laugh. As if sensing her scrutiny, he turned his head to look at her. What she saw in his eyes caused her heart to flutter wildly in her chest. More affected than she wanted to admit, she quickly turned back to Taryn.
What was happening to her?
She thought those feelings for Colton lay buried in the past.
Fortunately for Laurel’s jumbled emotions, Taryn embarked on a one-sided conversation about her latest dating adventure that required little comment. Laurel nodded every now and then, but otherwise felt strangely removed from everything around her – everything except Colton. She was as aware of his presence nearby as if he was actually touching her.
* * * *
An hour later the three of them were sitting in a restaurant eating tacos. Taryn was thrilled to hear about the boat trip as well as the makeup party.
“Phillip is the guy who owns the condo you live in, right?” she asked Colton.
“Yes. I more or less stole Laurel from him,” he admitted with teasing glance in his wife’s direction.
Still somewhat unsettled by what had happened in the concession stand, Laurel couldn’t meet his eyes even as she protested his twisting of the facts. “Don’t listen to him, Taryn. Phillip and I were barely acquaintances when I met Colton.”
“Hmm. And he’s still single?” asked Taryn. “It sounds like he has a thing for Laurel.”
Laurel glared at Colton who grinned unrepentantly. “You’ve got it all wrong. Tell her, Colton.”
“I was kidding, Taryn. The truth is I didn’t give Phillip a chance to get to know Laurel.”
Taryn laughed and threw her arm around Laurel’s shoulders. “That sounds more like it. Don’t worry, Colton; I’ll keep Phillip occupied so you two can have some quality time alone.”
His smile grew wider. “That’s exactly what I hoped you’d say.”
* * * *
Colton drifted outside the cabin into the sunshine. His gaze went upward to the wide expanse of clear blue sky and then to the pair of seagulls flying alongside the boat. To his delight, Laurel joined him a few minutes later.
“So, Miss Matchmaker, how are things going?” he asked with an adorable smile.
“Too soon to tell, but I think Phillip is impressed by the fact that Taryn likes to fish. She’s holding her own in a discussion about rods and types of line to use. Since I don’t fish at all, I left them to it.”
“Taryn is a girl of many talents and interests.”
“No doubt about it. Are you ready for tonight?”
“I’m looking forward to seeing firsthand what I missed.”
“You didn’t go to any of your high school dances?” she asked.
“I thought they were a waste of time.”
Laurel shrugged. “I went to a few, but never with anyone I liked. The boys I was interested in didn’t know I existed.”
He turned around to lean against the railing. “That’s hard to believe. You’re not easy to ignore.”
Neither are you
, Laurel almost said. She wished he wouldn’t stare at her so intently. Colton could say more with his eyes than any person she’d ever met. “The dance starts at seven and is being held in one of the ballrooms of the Jekyll Island Club Hotel. I need to be there by six-thirty.”
“So I should plan on picking you up at six?”
“Yes. You’ll have to wear a suit and tie. I should have told you that before.”
“No problem. How many students are we responsible for?”
“A little over a hundred.”
“How many chaperones?”
“Six counting you.”
Colton whistled. “We’re going to be busy.”
“It won’t be that bad. The students know if they mess up there won’t be any more dances.”
“There’s always one in the crowd who thinks it’s his or her duty to break the rules. Do kids still try to spike the punch?”
“I’m sure they do. We’re providing canned soda this year. That should cut down on it.” She looked toward the blue water. “This is a great way to relax; I can see why you enjoy it.”
Colton nodded. “There’s something about being out here, especially early in the morning when there aren’t many people around. It’s quiet and peaceful. Away from all the noise and interruptions, I can think more clearly.”
Laurel smiled faintly. “Maybe I need to get a boat.”
“You can come with me anytime you want,” he offered.
“Phillip may not like that.”
“Then he can stay home. If you’re coming, I’d prefer he do that anyway.”
She laughed at this. “That wouldn’t be fair. It’s his boat, too.”
“It’s perfectly fair.” Colton crossed his arms, a gleam of amusement lurking in his eyes. “I wouldn’t go if he wanted to take someone out on the boat alone.”
Nodding her head in the direction of the cabin, she said, “If today is anything of a success, that someone could be Taryn.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Laurel. They just met. Another thing to consider is Taryn herself. She’s had some bad experiences with men. It may take time for her to let anyone get close to her.”
“That’s why I think Phillip would be good for her. He’s not going to rush her into anything before she’s ready. I think older men take the time to look beyond a woman’s physical appearance. Taryn needs to be loved and appreciated for more than her pretty face. She thinks that’s all she has to offer a man.”
Colton threw her a coy glance. “Did you analyze me as thoroughly as you’ve done those two?”
A wistful smile played around her mouth. “I didn’t have time to analyze you – I was too busy falling in love.”
“The only mistake you ever made,” he added softly.
Laurel shook her head. “I regret many things, but falling in love with you isn’t one of them.”
He looked at her in disbelief. “I don’t know how you can say that.”
“It’s simple. You made me happy.”
Her answer seemed to surprise him. Colton said nothing for a few seconds, his attention fixed on the water. Then he turned to face her. “I’d like the chance to make you happy again.”
The warmth in his eyes and the tenderness in his voice pulled at her heart. In the past she would have rejected such a plea as being impossible; she wasn’t so sure now.
“Did you hear what I said, Laurel?” he asked as he drew close to where she stood. Her cheeks flooded with color. “I see that you did.”
Her hands flew to her face. “Will you stop? They’re going to wonder what you’ve been saying to me.”
Colton laughed softly. “Worse than that – they’re going to wonder what I’ve been
doing
to you.” At her glare, he held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, I’ll stop with the stupid comments. Let’s go see how the romance is progressing. Phillip is bound to be having more success than I am.”
Chapter Eleven
Laurel shrugged out of the fourth outfit in the last ten minutes. Her eyes swept over the piles of clothes covering the bed and every other available surface. This was ridiculous. She’d wasted an hour already; she just needed to pick something.
Closing her eyes, she grabbed the first thing her hands touched. As she stepped into the black skirt and pulled the pink lace blouse over her head, she glanced at the watch encircling her wrist. Colton would be there any minute, and she hadn’t even started on her hair or put on any makeup. Moving into the bathroom, she ran a comb through the tangles, groaning when she heard the pealing of the doorbell. Not able to find her shoes, she padded barefoot to the front door and swung it open.
Colton stood before her, his tall figure accentuated by a dark suit and gold-toned tie.
“Wow, you look great!” she said as she waved him inside. “As you can see, I’m not ready yet.”
He followed her into the living room. “I know that look. How many times have you changed?”
“I don’t know – five or six. Anyway, have a seat. I’ll be back shortly.”
“Laurel, come here for a minute.” She came back to where he stood. “Turn around. You forgot to button your skirt.”
“Oh, did I?”
His fingers slid underneath the fastening. Through the thin material of her shirt, she could feel the warmth of his skin and an involuntary shiver went through her. Pictures flashed through her mind of her and Colton at their apartment. Then everything faded to that horrific scene in the hotel room.
She didn’t want to think about that! Not now!
With a strangled gasp, she pulled away from him. “That’s okay, I can get it,” she said weakly as she walked quickly into her bedroom.
As Colton watched the door close, he sighed heavily.
Why hadn’t he kept his hands to himself?
Laurel had only recently accepted his friendship; it was too soon to expect her to accept his touch, even a casual one. He had only the vaguest idea of what she was going through, but he knew it couldn’t be easy to allow the person who betrayed her to get close again.
* * * *
In the bathroom, Laurel attempted to pull herself together. She couldn’t afford to give way to the flurry of agitation raging inside her. With trembling fingers, she applied makeup and pinned up her hair, all the while wondering what she was going to say to Colton. He deserved an apology and some kind of explanation.
She hoped she could give him one.
He rose from the couch when she walked into the living room. His eyes moved slowly over her, his appreciation of her appearance obvious. “You look lovely,” he said quietly.
Still not comfortable with herself or him, she forced a smile. “Thank you. We need to get going.”
Colton escorted her to the car without comment. Once they were on their way, Laurel knew she had to say something. The longer she waited, the worse it would be.
“I’m sorry for running away from you like that.”
He glanced at her, his face mirroring concern. “I’m the one who should be apologizing. I know how you feel about me touching you.”
She twisted her fingers around the straps of her purse. “I can’t even explain what happened. Everything was fine and then it wasn’t fine. I started remembering…things. Do you think there’s something wrong with me?”
“Of course not! Laurel, don’t do this to yourself. It’s going to take time for you to be comfortable with me.”
“We were getting along so well, and I ruined it with my stupid overreaction.”
“Darling, you didn’t ruin anything. It was me.”
Pushing her purse aside, Laurel smoothed imaginary wrinkles from her skirt. “No, Colton, it wasn’t you. Let’s put the blame where it belongs. You didn’t do anything that you haven’t done hundreds of times.”
“That was before, Laurel. No matter how we dance around it, we both know things are different now. You don’t trust me yet and that’s okay.”
She looked at him then, her blue eyes misty with tears. “I want to trust you; I really do. But there’s still a part of me that’s afraid of what will happen if I do. I don’t think I could live through something like that again.”
“I understand your dilemma, Laurel. I can tell you it won’t happen again, but only you can decide to believe me. The burden is on me to make you want to believe it.”
“What if I can’t forget?” she asked in a low voice.
“Let’s be honest. Neither of us is going to forget what happened last year, but I know we can move past it. As for what happened at the apartment, don’t worry about it. We’ve got a fun evening ahead of us. I can’t imagine anything more enjoyable than trying to stop teenagers from making out on the dance floor.”
A chuckle escaped her. “I’ve missed your unique sense of humor.”
“There’s plenty more if you’re interested. I believe this is the turn-off for the hotel.”
“Yes, it is. I’m glad my taking forever to decide what to wear isn’t going to make us late.”
“I suppose we can park in the visitor parking.” Colton turned off the car and unbuckled his seatbelt. “Will Patty be here tonight?”
“No, she’s somewhere in the Georgia mountains with Roger. It’s their anniversary.”
“That’s too bad – for me, that is. I was looking forward to talking to her again.”
“She would have loved to talk to you, too.” When he came around and opened her door, she muttered, “You’re not going to believe this.”
“What is it? Did you leave something at the apartment?”
“Sort of; I forgot to put on perfume, and I don’t have anything with me.”
He drew close for a moment. “I wouldn’t worry about it; you smell like strawberries or is it sweet pea? I never could tell those two apart.”
Laurel laughed again as she pointed to the sprawling building in front of them. “Isn’t this place beautiful? It makes me feel as if I’m going back in time.”
Colton reluctantly took his eyes off her to look at the resort. “It has all the opulence and character of a bygone age. I wouldn’t mind coming here again when I have time to walk around the grounds and explore.”
“You need to tour the cottages, too.”
“It would be more fun if someone came along who’s been here before. Would you come back with me?” he asked as he opened the door leading into the hotel lobby.
“I think that could be arranged,” she said as she walked past him.
He didn’t say anything, but his pleased smile told her how much her response meant to him.
* * * *
An hour later, the ballroom floor was crowded with moving couples. Colton had known he wouldn’t have Laurel all to himself, but it bothered him that it wasn’t their chaperoning duties preventing it. The source of his irritation was Mike Wilcox, the chemistry teacher to whom he’d been introduced.
He was at first amused and then irritated by the man’s persistence. There were three other teachers present with whom the man could converse. Why did he continue to confine his attention to Laurel? Knowing his annoyance was beginning to show, Colton made his way to the refreshment table. He grabbed a soda and did his usual counting to ten routine.
It wasn’t like him to behave this way. He’d never been jealous or possessive of Laurel. Was the difference because he’d never been in such a precarious position before? She was his wife, but he didn’t have the luxury of being able to go home with her at the end of the evening.
Colton felt the vibration of his phone with a sense of relief. He needed another direction for his thoughts. It was probably Josh returning his message. He’d teased his brother about Georgia losing their football game earlier in the day.
The message wasn’t from Josh or anyone else he wanted to hear from. He stared fixedly at the text for several minutes, not able to believe what he was seeing.
Why was she contacting him after all this time?
As guilt and shame washed over him, his glance instinctively went to Laurel. A sick feeling settled in the pit of his stomach as every disgusting detail of that evening with Leslie reverberated through his brain.
His eyes returned to the phone in his hand.
What was he going to do?
If Laurel found out about the text, she’d never believe he hadn’t been in touch with Leslie all along. Everything he’d worked so hard to achieve would be gone.
He would lose her all over again!
Colton closed his eyes, his lips moving as he prayed. “Father, please give me the strength to do the right thing. I’m afraid of what this might do to Laurel and our relationship. Help me to be strong, Lord, no matter what happens.” When he opened his eyes, Laurel had joined him.
“I thought you were talking on the phone, and then I realized you were talking to yourself.”
He tried to smile, but it was an effort. “I was praying.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Were you finished?”
“Yes. How did you get away from Mike?”
She looked surprised by his choice of words. “One of his kids got sick, and the babysitter called to ask him to come home.”
Colton slid the phone into his pocket. He couldn’t tell her about the message at the dance. This was something that had to be done when they were alone. “Where’s his wife?”
“She had to work tonight; she’s an assistant manager at the Home Depot out by the highway.”
“So I guess he won’t be coming back.”
“You don’t have to sound so pleased about it.” Laurel looked at him more closely. “What’s wrong with you? You’re not upset about me talking to Mike, are you?”
That was a minor problem in comparison to Leslie.
“Doesn’t a husband have a right to be a little jealous? He stuck to you like glue.”
“Don’t say things like that. You’re going to make me self-conscious around him.”
“Okay, I’m sorry. Anyway, Mike isn’t why I was looking upset. Something else is responsible for that. Can we talk about it later?”
“Sure.” She reached around him for a soda. “Watching these kids makes me feel old. My head is pounding, and my feet are killing me.”
“Tell me about it. I wish I’d brought my earphones. Some Mozart would be just the thing right now.”
Laurel tried to stop a yawn and failed. “I wonder how much makeup Taryn has bought.”
“I meant to ask you, did she say anything about Phillip?”
She tilted her head to the side. “I don’t know if I should tell you. You know how I hate admitting you’re right.”
“I didn’t dislike the idea of introducing them; my concern was the age difference.”
“It’s not his age she doesn’t care for. She says he’s too good-looking and sure of himself. She understands why I chose you instead.”
Colton burst out laughing. “I wonder what that says about me. What did you say?”
“What could I say? There’s no denying his looks or his confidence. That’s who he is. I thought she would like that. Did Phillip say anything about her?”
“Not really; he spent most of the time telling me how great you look and what a fool I was for messing things up.”
A frown settled on her face. “He needs to stop doing that.”
“Why? He’s right.”
“Maybe so, but do you need it thrown in your face every five minutes?”
“He doesn’t do it that often. It keeps me from getting complacent and reminds me that I’m still earning back the respect of those I care about.”
She stared down at the drink in her hand. “As far as I’m concerned, you’ve made a good start.”
Would she still feel that way when he told her about the text from Leslie? A fresh wave of fear rushed over him.
Did he have to tell her? Couldn’t he delete the message and pretend it never happened?
“I don’t ever want to hurt you again, Laurel.”
She ran a finger around the rim of the can. “I know,” she replied softly.
Colton wanted to take the soda can out of her hand and pull her into his arms.
Did she have any idea what those words meant to him? What they did to him inside?
With a start, he realized she was speaking again.
“As for Taryn and Phillip, I won’t be arranging any more meetings between them. I’m obviously not good at putting people together.”
“How do you know? It’s not always an instant attraction. Josh and Simone had to meet several times in various circumstances before they got interested in each other.”
“Speaking of Simone, when is the baby due?”
“The weekend following Thanksgiving. I’m going home the Wednesday before.”
“Rose and Greg are going to his parents this year, and Mom and Dad made plans to spend Thanksgiving with Aunt Betty in Virginia. Her two children and their families will be there. They invited Taryn and me to come with them.”
Colton’s heart ached at the thought of another holiday spent without Laurel. “You’ll have fun and who knows, you might see some snow.”
“I know I’ll have a good time, but it’s such a long trip for just a few days.”
“Yeah, it is.” Before he could question the line of thought in his head, he added, “If you want an alternative, you can come with me to Hilton Head. My parents would love to see you and there’s plenty of room. I could stay with friends if you’re uncomfortable with me being in the house.”