Flutter (The Discover Series) (37 page)

“Adan?” I questioned, but I didn’t know exactly what I was asking. Again I was attacked by another memory, but Adan’s voice pushed it aside.

“I’m here Sara,” he sounded frantic as he searched my face and down the length of my body. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m okay. I’m fine. You saved me from fatal facial reconstruction.” I said smiling trying to vanish away his concerns.

I didn’t like the way he looked so anxious and upset. His tone, he was upset and once more I was caught in another round of déjà vu and wondered what the hell was wrong with me! Was I going insane? Was I that transfixed with Adan that I wanted to believe he had been there that night? Was I really trying to justify to myself that he had been the one to watch me? That he was the one who had been in my head when I was buried feet deep in ice? Was he the one who had saved me? I stared into in icy blue eyes that were looking right into me. He looked panicked, but at the same time relieved. There was admiration in his eyes and I didn’t understand why he was proud of me…unless…could he be…

“Can you stand?” He finally asked slowly bringing me upright without waiting for my answer.

I backed away from his supportive hands and he looked hurt, but he hid it from me. I couldn’t think when he touched me. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure.” He said. “Although I think that was just your little ploy to get my arms around you.”

I tried to come think of something clever to come back with, but my head was fixated on the idea that Adan had been on that mountain with me. It was as if my head and body knew the truth and they were just waiting for me to catch up. To find that tiny little detail that would finally make everything click, but the harder I tried to pull the pieces together the more they struggled to fit together.

There was a huge part of me that
knew
Adan had been up there with me.

I was determined to figure out the truth.

Flutter

Twelve

Intuition

My head was still reeling as Adan held open the door for me.

So many thoughts, questions, and scenarios were circling around the inside of my head that I wished I had a handle I could pull to send them all away so I could actually focus on one thing at a time.

No such luck.

I hadn’t been able to look at him since we had left my work, the car ride over had been considerably quiet on both of our ends. He hadn’t shown any signs that he could tell I was suddenly on edge. Even with everything that was going on inside me, I had been very aware of each time he had turned to look at me, studying my every move. Again, I wasn’t able to tell if he was inspecting me for my abrupt mood change or not. Either I was really good at hiding my emotions or he was. I wanted to tell him to stop, that I couldn’t breathe when he looked at me, even in the most innocent way he had been, but I didn’t trust myself to form sentences.

So I had endured the torture of each stolen glance my way.

“This way,” he said and I flinched when I felt the warm pressure of Adan’s hand on the small of my back, if he noticed my reaction at his touch, he didn’t show it as he lead me in the direction of an open booth
toward
the back of the, somewhat, deserted diner.

His touch both calmed and unnerved me and for the time while his hand lingered there, I felt myself again. I didn’t feel like I was the walking dead as we passed a number of empty tables to get to the one he had sought out. I realized I had never been here before and if I hadn’t been so distracted I might have actually taken the time to look around at my surroundings. As we approached the booth I was trying to figure out how I was going to be able to sit here without completely confessing to Adan everything that had happened to me in the last few months and what I thought I knew about Adan. Who he might be and what could be the reason for my intense connection to him

I slid into the booth suddenly feeling extremely tired, both physically and emotionally drained. I was more then happy to be here with Adan, but at the same time I felt deprived of the moment by this overwhelming, constant and nagging feeling of exhaustion. Not to mention the inner workings of my mind, which currently felt like it was on speed while enjoying a rollercoaster ride from hell.

I expected Adan to slide into the empty space next to me, but after waiting for me to sit down he took the seat opposite from me. I was torn between feeling disappointed that he hadn’t and relieved because if he had, being that close to him in such a small amount of space would have played major havoc on my already low ability to function right. I was proven right when I felt the lazy trail of tingles that attacked my body when his knees brushed against mine as he got comfortable. I could feel the fabric of his jeans teasing my legs and I crossed my ankles, tucking them against the front of the booth.

I could feel Adan watching me, when I felt brave enough I lifted my eyes until they connected with his. There was something very knowing about the smile that tugged at the corner of his cheeks and even as I tried to control the blush that rushed up from the tips of my toes, I failed. There was something in his all too pleased expression that made me wonder if I wasn’t crazy to think he knew exactly what was going on with me.

I could see the waitress approaching our table and tried not to openly sigh in relief at her quick appearance. I guess with only a few other customers, you could really delay presence. I wondered how long Adan and I would have been in our silent stand off, if not for her. When she stopped at our table I dragged my eyes away from Adan’s face in time to catch her welcoming smile. I was glad that even with the slight late hour and the telling dark circles under her eyes made her look just as tired as I felt, she still seemed to be in a good mood.

“How are y’all doing tonight?” The southern twist in her voice was deep and charming. It was obvious that she wasn’t from around here and it made me wonder how she had found her way to
Flagstaff
,
Arizona
.

“Good, thanks.” I answered, sitting up straighter.

She placed to menus in front of Adan and I. He smiled politely at the waitress, looking up at her briefly before his eyes found mine again.

“Good,” she said faintly, “Can I get you two anything to drink? Water?” Her voice sounded breathless and I torn my gaze away from Adan to see what had caused her to sound so flustered.

I half expected it to be the intimate way Adan was staring at me, but I realized what her problem was, and she didn’t seem to mind or care what he was staring at. Her whole attention was completely focused on Adan’s handsome face. Although I couldn’t exactly blame her, I still couldn’t control the spark of annoyance? Or was that jealousy?

“Yes.” Adan said still looking at me.

“What?”

“What?” The waitress and I said in unison.

Adan’s smile only grew bigger, confusing me even more and he looked at the waitress once again. “Yes, we’ll both have water.” He explained.

I tried to soothe the violent pounding of my heart by taking deep breath.

The waitress and I had been so distracted by the boy across the booth that we had completely forgotten about the question she had asked only seconds earlier. I felt foolish. What did I think? He had been answering my silent question?

Yes, that’s exactly what you thought
.

“Of course,” The waitress giggled nervously, her blush shooting all the way up to her hairline.

“No worries,” I said speaking to the waitress, but looking at Adan, “he has that effect on all the girls.” I looked up at her just in time to see her blush deepen before she walked off to get our waters.

“I have some effect on all girls you say? Now is this the kind of effect where I might get the occasional free food or a beverage of some sort?” He gestured with his hands while his eyebrows did this adorable wiggle that drove me crazy. “Or is it more of a ‘girls falling all over them selves just to be next to me’ effect?”

I couldn’t help, but laugh at him. “I’m sure if you tried real hard, it could be both.”

Leaning back into his seat, he lifted his arms to rest along the top of the booth, making an expression that suggested he was surprisingly impressed with himself. “And here I have been swindling away my powers.”

I rolled my eyes, fiddling with the laminated edge of my menu. “Yes, such a shame. I guess now you must decide how to use your ‘special’,” I said sarcastically, “powers. Will you utilize them for good or purely for evil?”

“Excellent question.” He said dropping his arms and holding up a finger at me. “Tell me something Sara,” leaning forward until he was inches from my face, he whispered, “which category do you fall into? I mean if I tried real hard?”

I told myself he was just teasing, but the look on his face said otherwise. Leaning away I put as much space as I could between us. “The category labeled “Taken”. My kind is immune to your powers.”

Slouching he leaned away too. “And we’re back to that again.” He almost sounded annoyed.

“I’m sorry did I miss the part where we passed it?”

“Don’t pretend like this is news to you.” He said.

Before I could respond, the waitress was back and placing two glasses of waters in front of us. She seemed to have gained enough composure while in the back to brave it once more. She avoided eye contact with the both us just to be on the safe side. I was angry with myself for being happy about that, it only made what Adan was trying to say more of a fact. I didn’t have the right to be upset or jealous with the girls who ‘fell all over themselves’ just to be noticed by him. I had to remember I had Scott, and even though things had been different with Scott and I way before Adan came into the picture, it was by my choice that I was still with him. Until I planned on changing that, Adan was free to be fawned over by whomever.

“Are you ready to order?” She asked, burning a hole into her notepad with her intense focus.

Neither one of us had bothered to look at our menus since the waitress had given to us. I was so tired that eating wasn’t something I really wanted to do at the moment, but even as I thought about declining dinner, my stomach growled noisily. It was daring me to try and skip dinner. I could see Adan skimming his menu and I decided just to pick the first thing I saw. A big picture of a cheeseburger and fries was plastered over the front of the menu making my mouth water.

“I’ll take this.” I said pointing toward the picture in the menu and then handing her the menu.

“I’ll take the same.” Adan said giving her his menu too.

“I’ll put that right in for you.” She was still avoiding eye contact as she walked away from the table.

Poor girl
, I thought.

“Are you going to tell me what has been bothering you since we left the store?” My eyes flew to him at his unexpected question.

So he had noticed.

I had momentarily forgotten all about my suspicions with Adan and I couldn’t think of any way to bring it up without sounding like a crazy person. How did one open up a conversation about being frozen alive and being completely certain you had been the one to save them seconds from drowning? Or being there to catch them after they faint because they had just plummeted down a mountain of death and being flung in the air by a gigantic wolf?

“You can tell me anything Sara.” His voice was low and sincere and it was so easy to get lost in his eyes when he looked at me like that. The urge to tell him everything was so overwhelming I had to bite my lip.

“How do you do that?” I asked.

“Do what?”

“Talk to me like you know exactly what I’m thinking. It’s unnerving sometimes. It’s almost like you’re inside my head.”

He looked momentarily embarrassed before he finally answered me. “I guess I’m just good at reading your emotions. You don’t hide things from me very well.”

“You know I just realized I don’t know anything about you. Where you’re from, why you came to
Flagstaff
, why you’re still here. You-“

“You know why I’m still here,” he said cutting me off.

He stared me down, waiting for me to argue with him. “I don’t know
why.
There’s so much I don’t know about you.”

“Okay, ask me something.”

I decided to start with something easy and simple. “Are you an only child?”

He smiled, “No, I have a brother.”

“Are you
two
close?”

He shrugged. “I guess we are in some ways, but in others, not so much.
We had different up bringings.
”

“I think that’s a general rule for all siblings. Is he younger or older?”

“Younger.” He laughed like his answer was a private joke. “What about you?” He asked before I could question him about it. “Any siblings?”

“Nope, just moi.”

The waitress was back with our food, placing them in front of us
,
she was gone after a quick ‘You’re Welcome’. She continued to avoid all eye contact with either one of us. Neither one of said anything after she left, I used our food arriving as a current diversion. I didn’t know how much longer I would be able to continue with the easy questions before I broke into the harder ones. I thought I might be able to get something out of him sooner or later.

I stuck two French fries into my mouth trying to buy myself a little more time. When I swallowed, I began again.

“Your parents?”

He seemed hesitant to answer, almost like he was uncomfortable.

Clearing his throat, he
finally
answered. “Together,” was all he said.

I nodded, but I wasn’t quite finished with the subject. “Do you get along with them?”

He shrugged. “I guess, for the most part.
My mother doesn’t really agree with some of the choices I’ve made with my life
” He was staring down at his plate, pushing around his French fries. He had inhaled half of his hamburger already and I was surprised that I hadn’t even noticed. I looked down at my untouched hamburger and decided to finally take a bite.

“Is that normal teenager ‘for the most part’ stuff?” I frowned, thinking of something. “Are you a
teenager
?” I realized I had just assumed he was.

He laughed. “I’ll be twenty. So technically
,
yes I am a teenager and to answer your first question, no, not normal teenager stuff.” He pushed his half empty plate away. He shifted in his seat and again I could sense his uncomfortable-ness for this topic. “Your parents?”

Now it was my turn to feel uncomfortable. I watched my fingers as they traced the edges of my fork. “Dead.” Was all I said.

He grabbed my hand stopping my idle fingers. I watched him flip my hand around and drew lazy circle across my palm.

“I’m sorry Sara.”