Heartless (15 page)

“Sure. You can
talk to me about anything. You know that.”

It was true; he
was a good listener. He’d often been her sounding board after a difficult day
at work or a disagreement with one of her sons. He was her friend, but he would
never be her lover. “You know I think you’re a wonderful man. I’ve really
enjoyed getting to know you these past few months…”

He shot her a sidelong
glance when they pulled up to a traffic light. “Uh oh, I don’t think I like
where this is going.”

She forced a smile
to lighten the mood, but her stomach was churning. There was no way for her to
explain why she didn’t want to pursue a relationship with him. On paper, they
were perfect for each other. They were both divorced with grown children. They
enjoyed rewarding careers and were active in the community, loved to read,
travel, and go to the movies…

He sighed.
“Whatever’s on your mind, just say it.”

She heard the
uncharacteristic edge to his voice, and she had little doubt he knew what she
was going to say next. “I like you a lot, but…”

He gripped the
steering wheel. “But you can’t see a future with me?”

“No, I’m sorry. I
can’t.”

“Does this have
anything to do with that McCall character?”

She was surprised
Bill knew about Derek. Obviously her son had filled him in on the details. She
clasped her purse strap in her hand, silently cursing Mike for putting her in
the awkward position of having to determine how much Bill knew about her
relationship with Derek. “Mike spoke to you about Derek?”

He clenched his
jaw. “He’s a hot topic of conversation at the police station. It seems the
chief is jumpin’ through hoops to try to get him to accept the position he
offered. I can’t say that I’m thrilled about the prospect of havin’ that guy as
my boss.”

She couldn’t
imagine Mike was thrilled with the prospect either, but it wasn’t their
decision to make. It was Derek’s, and she could only hope he made the right
one. Above all, she wanted him to be happy.

“I don’t know what
Mike told you about Derek, but he’s a good guy and a good cop.” She knew Derek
would tell her he didn’t need her to jump to his defense, but it irked her to
know her son had painted him in a bad light. “Your precinct would be lucky to
have him.”

He whistled under
his breath. “Wow, I guess Mike was right.”

“About what?”

“You still have
feelings for this guy.”

How could she deny
it when it was so painfully obvious? “I guess I do.”

“Does that mean
you’ll be resumin’ a relationship if he decides to move back to Nashville?”

She didn’t want to
discuss Derek with anyone, least of all Bill, but she knew he deserved some
answers. “Honestly, I don’t know where Derek and I will go from here.”

“But you’re hopin’
he’s still interested in pursuin’ a relationship with you?”

If she and Mike
were face-to-face right now, she’d give him a verbal lashing for discussing her
personal life with Bill. He had definitely overstepped, and she intended to let
him know at her first opportunity. “Derek and I have a long history. We have a
lot of issues to work through.”

Bill chuckled. “So
I’ve heard.”

That’s it; she was
definitely going to throttle her son. Before she could demand to know the
details of Bill’s conversations with Mike, they were pulling into Josh and
Lexi’s circular driveway.

“Looks like they have
company,” Bill muttered.

She cursed their
lousy timing. The last thing she wanted was to engage in small talk. “Maybe we
should just go. I’ll call Lexi and tell her—”

“We’ve come all
this way. We might as well go in and say hello.”

Before she could
argue, he was out of the car and rounding her side to open the door for her.

He helped her out
of the car and settled her arm in the crook of his. Bill was nothing if not a
gentleman. In spite of the tension in the car, he was obviously prepared to put
on a show for the benefit of her ex’s guests.

She waited while
Bill rang the doorbell, wishing she could feign illness or a headache or…

“There you are,”
Lexi said, pulling them into the spacious foyer. “We thought you’d never get
here.”

Ashley was stunned
when dozens of people shouted, “Happy Birthday!”

“Oh my God,” she
said, looking around at the familiar faces. “I can’t believe you did this.” It
didn’t take her long to zero in on Derek. He was lounging by the breakfast bar,
a drink in his hand, watching her.

Lexi giggled and
pulled Ashley into her arms. “Did it work? Are you surprised?”

Ashley grinned. In
spite of her foul mood, she knew her friends had gone to a lot of trouble to
make this evening special for her, and she was determined to enjoy it.
“Shocked… stunned… overwhelmed. Take your pick.”

Ashley’s eyes
settled on Mike, who raised his glass in mock salute. The smug smile on his
face told her that he knew she was on to him, but he didn’t seem to care.

Lexi pulled her
through the crowd of enthusiastic well-wishers. “Let me get you a drink.”

Ashley took a deep
breath and tried to prepare for the difficult conversations that lay ahead. She
needed to acknowledge her feelings for Derek and her precarious situation with
her sons before she could even think about moving on.

Derek watched Ashley
circulate, talking and laughing with her friends as she worked the room. She
was breathtaking, even from afar. She’d been carefully avoiding his intense
scrutiny for the last half hour, but he had no doubt she could feel his eyes on
her. It felt like there was an invisible bond between them. The other guests
may not be able to see or feel their connection, but it was as obvious to Derek
as her lack of chemistry with the man at her side.

He eyed her date
as he sipped his merlot. He was early to mid-fifties, receding silver hair,
average height and build. In fact, there was nothing striking about him at all,
except of course for the woman on his arm.

“You haven’t taken
your eyes off her since they got here,” Mike said through clenched teeth.
“Could you be any more obvious?”

In spite of Jay’s
willingness to cut him some slack, he knew Mike would be a harder sell, but he
was up for the challenge. “I have some good news for you, kid.”

Mike looked skeptical
as he folded his arms and leaned against the counter. “Oh yeah, what’s that?
You’re headin’ outta town?”

“No, I’ve decided
to take that job after all. I guess I’m going to be your new boss.”

Mike scowled as he
pushed off the counter. “You can’t be serious. Does my mother know about this?”

Derek hid his smile
behind the crystal glass in his hand. He was feeling infinitely better than he
had days ago. He and Josh had put the past to rest, Jay was starting to come
around, he had a great new job to look forward to, Ashley’s feelings for her
friend
clearly paled in comparison to her feelings for him, and he was finally
coming home, where he belonged. “She will by the end of the evening.”

“Why’re you doing
this? Why can’t you just leave her the hell alone?”

Derek knew Mike
was struggling to control his temper, given their surroundings, but the tension
was still unmistakable. Anyone within a few feet of them would know they were
arguing, in spite of their hushed tones. “That’s not your call; it’s your
mother’s. If she wants me to be a part of her life, then I will be.”

Mike looked
stunned. “You would really do that to her… make her choose between you and her
children? And you claim to care about her?”

When Mike put it
like that, Derek realized how far they had to go to bridge the gap between them.
“Is that what you’re gonna do, force your mother to choose between us?” He
prayed it wouldn’t come to that because he knew that was a fight he couldn’t
win.

“I’ll do whatever
I have to… to protect her from you.”

Mike was tough,
every bit as unyielding as his old man back in the day, but Josh was a trained
martial artist and that meant he possessed a level of self-control his son
obviously didn’t share. “Ashley is a grown woman. She can make her own
decisions.”

“Right, like the decision
she made to sleep with you while she was still married to my old man?”

The room fell
silent as everyone turned to stare at them. Derek saw Ashley’s stunned
expression before she slipped out the back door. He didn’t hesitate to push
Mike aside so he could go after her.

“I’m sorry,” he
whispered, pulling her back against his chest. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.
Obviously, this wasn’t the time or place to have it out with your son.”

Ashley closed her
eyes as a tear slipped down her cheek. “He’s so angry. My God, has he always
been like this? Has he been harboring all of this resentment toward us for all
these years?” She sighed. “Maybe I should have insisted he talk to someone when
he found out about us… a counselor…”

He wrapped his
arms around her waist, reveling in the sweet floral scent of her perfume
wafting through the breeze. “Maybe you’re right, but we can’t go back, Ash.
You, me, and Josh… we all did the best we could. We made mistakes, we may have
failed those kids, but we can’t undo the past. We can only move forward from
here and try to forge healthy new relationships.”

She tipped her
head back, resting it on his shoulder. “You really think that’s possible after
everything that’s happened?”

“I think I made a
good start this week,” he said quietly.

She turned into
his arms and looked up at him. “You did? What happened?”

“I had a long talk
with Josh about what happened back in college. I needed to try and understand
things from his perspective.”

She fixed her gaze
on the buttons lining the front of his shirt. “It wasn’t his fault, you know.”

He brushed her
hair off her face. “I know that. Hell, if anyone’s to blame, it’s me. You were
the best thing that ever happened to me and I was too young and immature to
recognize that.”

She leaned her
cheek on his chest as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “We were all young
and stupid. We acted impulsively, and it cost us so much.”

Derek kissed the
top of her head. “I realized somethin’ this week. I need to focus on making
amends with Mike and Jay before you and I can even think about starting over.”

“How do you plan
to do that? You saw how angry Mike is.”

He loved holding
her like this, her soft curves pressing into the hard planes of his body. He
couldn’t wait to explore those curves again, in the privacy of his bedroom, but
he knew they had a long road ahead of them before he could expect to be
intimate with her again. “He’ll come around. I had a good talk with Jay
tonight.” He smiled. “He’s a good kid. He just wants you to be happy.”

She smiled. “Jay
is more like me. Mike, on the other hand, is exactly like his father.”

Derek grinned.
“Yeah, he’s as stubborn as a mule.”

She straightened
her spine, obviously ready to defend her son. “He’s protective of those he
loves. I love that about him.”

“I know.”

Their eyes locked
for an intense moment, and Derek knew her children and her ex-husband were the
last thing on her mind. It was just the two of them. Time, space, and obstacles
were irrelevant. The only thing that mattered was the brief distance between
their lips and the sweet longing they shared to taste the forbidden once more.

Her arms coiled
around his neck as she thrust her hands into his hair, bringing his mouth down
to meet hers. It wasn’t a gentle exploration. It was an explosion of passion
and longing, a testament to wasted years.

She opened for him
and the slow slide of their tongues awakened needs he’d been denying too long…
since the last time they made love. He’d always reserved a part of himself when
he was with other women, the part that belonged to Ashley.

Ashley seemed as
desperate as he was to solidify their connection, to convince herself that time
had done little to dull their insatiable hunger for each other.

He cupped her
bottom, forcing her to acknowledge the evidence of his arousal. He wanted her
now. He didn’t care that there was a houseful of people just a few feet away.
The only thing that mattered was that the woman he loved was back in his arms,
surrendering to the force of their irrefutable bond.

She finally pulled
her mouth away from his as she struggled to catch her breath. “My God,” she
whispered. “A kiss shouldn’t have the power to make me feel that way, should
it?”

He smiled as he
pressed his forehead against hers. “You’re askin’ the wrong guy, sweetheart.
I’m as lost as you are right now.”

She stroked his
cheek before tracing his swollen lips with her fingertip. “I love being with
you like this again. Touching you, kissing you, holding you…”

“Me too, Ash.” He wrapped
his arms around her waist and lifted her off the ground. “By the way, happy birthday.”