Hidden Darkness (Hidden Saga Book 4) (5 page)

I stayed home Saturday night, hanging out with Mom and Daddy, who’d moved into the log house with us. Grandma Neena spent the majority of her time in Altum these days, and it didn’t make sense for Daddy to keep his apartment in Oxford now that he and Mom were back together.

              I needed to be around the two of them tonight—to see concrete evidence that love
could
conquer all and persuade myself once again that my mother’s recent advice to trust in it was founded on something more than Sway. If my parents could overcome what they’d been through in the past year and a half, then surely Lad and I could make it past our own challenges, right?

              Watching my parents snuggle on the couch after supper, I felt a sweet pang in my chest that had nothing to do with the romantic comedy streaming on the TV. They were truly happy. Mom was safe, and I had no doubt they’d spend the rest of their lives together.

Turning my attention back to the onscreen couple—who’d just reached the oops-we’re-being-forced-to-share-a-bed scene—I couldn’t help but think about Lad… and his refusal to share a bed with me before our wedding. The sweet pang was drowned by a dull, troubled ache in my chest, a sense of impending doom.

What was wrong with me? Lad loved me. We were getting married. He’d explained his reluctance to go ahead and bond early, but I couldn’t seem to shake this worry. After my parents’ split, it had been so hard for me to trust someone. And then when I finally had, Lad had broken off our relationship and sent me away.

Now we were together again and betrothed, and all was forgiven. He was
it
for me. But was I really that person for him? I guessed I wouldn’t feel entirely secure about it until the vows had been said and we were eternally bonded.

Perhaps reading the longing on my face, Mom asked, “What’s Lad up to tonight?”

“He’s busy with royal stuff.” My tone was grumpier than I’d intended it to be. I kept my eyes on the movie, trying to hide my bad mood.

“That is the deal you signed up for you know,” she reminded me. “Marriage requires compromise—and it won’t all be easy, especially with his position.”

“I can’t get over the fact that my little girl is going to be a queen. I need to work on my curtsy,” Daddy teased. He rose from the couch and executed a dainty little bow, pretending to hold out the hem of an imaginary skirt.

I tossed a throw cushion at his head. “Daddy. Get real.”

After Mom had healed from the whole Olympics debacle, Grandma and I had sat down with her and told her the truth about her Elven heritage. She’d taken it a whole lot better than I’d expected.

“I was pretty confused the whole time I was with Davis,” she’d admitted. “But I
did
understand there were things going on that were
not
normal. And it fills in a lot of blanks about Mama and her mysterious past. And my own past with Davis.”

The chief rule of the Elven people—Light and Dark Courts alike—was to keep the secret. Telling Mom was not the worst offense and had been inevitable, really. She was half Elven. What I hadn’t counted on was that she’d tell Daddy.

“I promised him total honesty from now on,” she’d explained, wholly unrepentant. “If you choose to use your Sway to make sure he never tells anyone, that’s your business, but I’m not keeping anything from him ever again.”

So far, I hadn’t felt the need to do that. He’d sworn never to speak of it outside our family, and besides, I had seen the destructive effect Davis’s Sway had on Mom’s brain. He’d nearly killed her, and my Sway was at least as powerful as his. I didn’t want to risk Daddy’s health that way.

“Are you two having trouble, honey?” Mom asked.

Like me, she had inherited Grandma Neena’s glamour for emotional acuity. It came in very handy in her job dealing with grieving families at the funeral home. Here at
our
home, it could be downright annoying. I had a hard time hiding anything from her.

“No. No trouble.” I sighed and reached for another handful from the popcorn bowl. “I’m just ready for the wedding to get here. It’s hard to wait.”

“You’re afraid something’s going to happen before then.” Her words were a statement, not a question. Once again, she’d nailed it.

“No I… yes. I am a little nervous about it. Some visitors arrived in Altum today, and that’s bound to change things. At the very least, Lad’s going to be busy, sharing information with the new ambassador and entertaining her.”

“Ambassador? What’s she like?”

Mom had visited Altum a couple of times, but despite her interest in the home of her ancestors, she said she felt too strange around an entire race of people who communicated silently. I’d told her about mind-to-mind communication and even tried to do it with her, but she had given it only a half-hearted effort. She’d said she was too old to embrace her Elven side after all these years not knowing about it. It didn’t dampen her curiosity to hear about my experiences, though.

“Sophisticated, charming, a supermodel—your typical Dark Elven nightmare,” I said, answering her question about Ava.

Daddy laughed. “You can’t doubt Lad’s commitment to you. I’ve seen him around you. He’s totally in love.” Taking his seat next to Mom again, he patted her thigh and gave her a quick kiss.

“I know.” I rolled my eyes at my own neurotic tendencies. “It’s stupid. I just have trust issues, I guess.”

My father’s face fell. I knew he felt partially responsible for that, though I hadn’t said it to make him feel guilty. There were reasons behind his brief affair and the months he’d spent on the road away from us—the main one was sitting right beside him wearing an identical expression of dismay. But they’d forgiven each other and seemed to be moving past it.

“I know you do, baby,” Mom said. “That’s largely my fault. But it’s never too late to change.” She glanced over at my father. “For any of us. Just try to have faith in Lad and in your love. It’s all going to work out.” 

Later that night I lay in my bed in my childhood room, staring at the wide, dark window that faced the backyard and the woods beyond it. Unable to sleep, I thought about my parents’ words. Was Mom right?
Could
I change?

I wanted to. I wanted to be someone who could love without question, trust without fear, but the future was as boundless and impossible to see as the midnight forest and all the secrets it held.

A tiny flash of light caught my attention. One firefly, then another, then another landed on my window, illuminating my room by tiny increments. Within minutes, the entire window was covered by bright, pulsing sparks of light—a message from Lad that he was thinking of me.

In that moment, I vowed I would change, and my heart swelled with new determination.

I
would
let go of the past completely—let go of worry and trust in him, trust in
us
. He deserved that from me.

Goodnight my love
, I whispered in my mind.

Goodnight sweet girl
, he said back to me from somewhere deep in Altum, and finally I closed my eyes and rested in the knowledge of his love and the fact that nothing—and no one could wipe out our beautiful future together.

Our new ambassador was not at all what I’d expected. Ava was bright and funny, eager to learn, and like Ryann, full of surprises.

              On the morning after her arrival, she startled me by entering the dining room of the royal residence early, smiling and appearing rested from her cross-country journey. I was usually one of the first to be up and dressed in the mornings. I typically ate breakfast alone except for the servants who moved quietly in and out of the room. It was a routine I enjoyed, allowing me time to think and prepare for the day ahead.

              This day was different though. I’d be showing Ava around, answering her questions. I’d have questions for her as well—there was much I had to learn about the Dark Court and its citizens—how many of them were antagonistic toward the Light Court and opposed to our peace treaty, for instance.

“Good morning.” Her voice was a happy sing-song. She seemed so young to be an ambassador—I’d expected an authoritative older man, not a girl my own age—at least she looked about my age. She was dressed in human clothes that would probably have made Ryann drool. I’d been told Ava was a fashion model, and I supposed that came with a nice wardrobe.

              I pushed my chair back and stood. “Good morning, Miss Morten.”

              “Oh, call me Ava, and please have a seat. Whatever you do, don’t call me Miss Morten. That’s my mother’s name, and God forbid I remind you—or anyone—of her. Besides, I don’t think I’ll qualify for the title of Miss until I’m at least thirty.”

              She smiled brightly and filled a plate from the buffet laid out on a nearby counter. Bringing it to the table where I sat, she plopped it down without waiting for an invitation. I stood again to pull out her chair for her, and she laughed as she sat down.

              “Oh my gosh. You Light Elves are so mannerly. I feel like I’ve stepped into a Regency romance novel or something.”

              “I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. Ryann likes it. But I know I’m probably out of step with the humans and Dark Elves you are usually around.”

              She touched my hand lightly in a reassuring gesture. “Don’t get me wrong—I love it. Good manners are a lost art. I find you very charming.”

              “Thank you. I hope you slept well.”

“Yes, thank you. My bed is heavenly.”

At the risk of contradicting her newly formed opinion of me and sounding rude, I asked, “If I may know—how old
are
you?” 

              Her brown eyes sparkled with humor. “I’m an
old
lady—nineteen.”

              A year older than me. “I’m surprised you’ve just recently become betrothed. Is it so different in the Dark Court?”

              “No. We usually bond at eighteen as well. But Mother wanted me to establish myself in modeling first, and then I found myself rather reluctant to marry someone I didn’t even know, though she fielded quite a few offers for me.”

              “I can imagine,” I said honestly. “I feel the same way about arranged marriages, as you’ve probably deduced by now.”

              “Right. You
clearly
chose your own bride. That must have caused quite a stink around here. I can’t even imagine suggesting bringing a human into the Dark Court.”

              “A ‘stink’ is putting it mildly.” I laughed. “I came extremely close to walking away from the throne over it.”

              Her eyes widened and then warmed. “So… you must really love her.”

              “I do. More than anything. And you must love Culley as well, since you have accepted his offer after refusing so many others.”

              There was a beat before she replied. “Yes.” She lifted her glass and took a drink. “So… what’s on the agenda today? I haven’t been here since I was nine and I ran around giggling about all the men’s tight breeches. I’m looking forward to becoming acquainted with the
other
attractions of your kingdom.”

              I chuckled at her deliberately cheeky tone. “I’ll be happy to show you around. I hope you won’t be disappointed.”

              She gave me a direct look, filled with good humor. “This is such a fascinating place, I don’t think that’s possible.”

              After breakfast, I gave Ava a tour, starting with the royal residence. Then we went out into the common area with its shops and recreational areas. She watched in fascination as skilled artisans made tools and dishes, silverware, and jewelry.

In one hut, a mother and daughter worked closely together at a loom, weaving fabric for clothing. Ava stopped and observed with rapt attention as the pair laughed and chatted, their hands a blur of harmonious motion, the product of years of close communication and skill handed down from generation to generation. It made sense, I guess. Her career revolved around clothing.

“It’s so beautiful,” she said, in a tone so low I wasn’t sure it was meant for me to hear.

She seemed enthralled by the endless tunnels and antechambers, expressing delight at the stacked multi-level residences rising high on all sides of Altum’s interior walls.

“It’s sort of like my family’s apartment in New York City,” she said. “But far less noise and traffic.”

No matter where we went or what we spoke of, she always seemed to turn the conversation back to Ryann and me. “I’ll bet she couldn’t believe this place when she saw it,” Ava said, gazing out over the wide, clear, underground river as we approached it. “What made you decide to break the rules and bring her back here in the first place?”

              “There wasn’t much decision on my part in that matter.” I shrugged. “I had been shot by a hunter, and I was dying. Ryann managed to make contact with my guards and lead them to me. They brought me back here in the nick of time, and Ryann came with me.”

              “Wow. So dramatic,” she said. “You’re all right now, though. You seem… very fit.”

              Something about her lilting tone gave me pause. And the way her eyes roamed my body before she said the last words made me uncomfortable. But then she turned and nearly skipped away toward the bridge spanning the river, exclaiming over its size and beauty.

              Perhaps that was the way it was with the Dark Elves. Nox was certainly an unrepentant flirt, and it had meant nothing—if you didn’t count Ryann’s case. Dark Elves were more like humans than Elves in many ways, except of course for their appearance and glamour abilities. Speaking of that, Ava had mentioned mine when we’d first met. We hadn’t yet discussed hers.

              I caught up with her. She was leaning over the railing, studying the crystal clear water.

              “How deep is it?” she asked.

              “I don’t know. No one has ever been able to reach the bottom of it. I tried once when I was a boy. Perhaps it has no bottom.”

              Resting her chin on her hands, she kept her eyes trained on the fathomless water. “Memories are like that. Some are so deep they seem to have no beginning and no end. Some are so shallow, they barely cause a ripple. They all float around in our brains, either submerged in our subconscious or bobbing on the surface.”

              Her faraway tone made me suspect she was speaking of her own memories—of her father perhaps? I’d been told that, like me, she had lost a parent. It was a unique commonality we shared. As Elves were immortal, not many people I knew had ever lost a relative. Only violence could end our lives.

              Thinking of my own father, I said, “I find memories can bring peace.”

“They can also haunt you. Sometimes it’s better to forget.”

I glanced over at her profile. Her expression was thoughtful, a little sad. “Sometimes, perhaps,” I said. “How did your father die, if you don’t mind my asking?”

              Breaking her concentration on the river, she glanced up at me. “I don’t mind. It was years ago. I was seven. He was killed by a human—a drunk driver. It was a two-car accident. The human lived.”

              “I’m so sorry.” I knew what that kind of loss felt like. At least I’d had my father for my entire childhood.

              “Thank you. I’m sorry for your loss as well. At least you got revenge on your father’s killer.”

              My head jerked back in surprise. For anyone to think I had sought to kill Davis for revenge was shocking. Ryann and Nox and Vancia and I had worked together to end his plot for Elven domination over the humans. His death had been an accident—he’d actually caused it himself.

              Obviously reading my horrified reaction, she continued. “I know—you didn’t really
kill
him. We all heard the story. But still, he’s dead, isn’t he? He got what he deserved. My father’s murderer served two years in jail. He’s probably out there driving around right now.”

              Her face was a strange mix of melancholy and anger. I wasn’t sure what to say. And for the first time since she and Culley arrived, I felt a twinge of concern for Ryann’s well-being around our emissaries. I didn’t want them saying anything to hurt her feelings or make her feel self-conscious about her part-human heritage.              

“That must be very difficult,” I said, probing. “It would be understandable if you harbored some very bad feelings toward humans.”

              She straightened and gave me a half-smile. “I don’t—not really. I know the crime of that one guy is not the fault of their whole race. Mother is a different story, though. She hates them all. Not only for taking her bond-mate’s life but for leaving us without support. My father had no life insurance. We’re immortal, after all—I guess he wasn’t expecting to die. Unlike Nox’s and Vancia’s parents, my father wasn’t a celebrity. He made a good salary as an entertainment lawyer with Audun’s firm, but he wasn’t rich.”

              “There was no money set aside for the future?”

              “No. Apparently Mother spent every penny Father brought home. When he was gone—so was the money. For the first few years we scraped by on charity from Audun. Now we survive on what I make from modeling.”

              Still unfamiliar with the ins and outs of Dark Elven life, I was surprised at her statement. I’d had the impression they were all quite well-off due to their Sway over humans. “Would your mother’s glamour not allow her to easily obtain money?”

              “Well…” She hesitated, her face flushing red. “The kind of glamour Mother has isn’t exactly useful after one has already found a permanent mate. At least—it can’t earn money. Well, it might, but she’s too proud to use it that way.”

              “I see,” I said, though I didn’t really. Reading her discomfort, I didn’t pursue the subject. “I’m sorry to hear of your family’s struggles. Is there some way I can help? We don’t use money, but we have plenty of everything here to share.”

Ava gave me a funny look, as if she’d stumbled upon some previously undiscovered species in the rainforest. “You really
do
have good manners, don’t you? I had no idea the Light Court was so generous. To listen to our High Council, you’re all a bunch of decrepit old fuddy duddys burrowed into your little hidey hole like cowardly ticks.”

I laughed at the unflattering description of my people. Ava’s spirited, happy laugh joined mine. She slipped a hand around my arm and pulled me along as she began to walk.

“You haven’t told me your glamour—what is it?” I asked, trying to turn the conversation to lighter topics.

Her face instantly flushed a deep red. “I’d uh… rather not talk about it if that’s okay.” She stared fixedly at the ground, fighting for composure. “It’s… embarrassing. I try not to use it when I have a choice.”

Okay… so
not
a better topic. Her refusal to discuss her glamour concerned me a little. Then I thought about what she’d said.
It’s
embarrassing
. Perhaps she had a glamour that was unfit for polite conversation, like Nox’s. At least she wasn’t flaunting it as he had.

“Ready to see more of our decrepit hidey hole?” I asked.

“Oh yes. I can’t wait to see what new wonders you have to show me. As if you haven’t impressed me enough already.”

Ava’s words were innocuous enough, but then she followed them up by batting her eyelashes at me and grinning in a way I could only describe as provocative. Having spent so little time around Dark Elves, I wasn’t sure how to interpret it. If only I had Ryann’s glamour. Maybe Ava
did
have sexual glamour and the body language was unintentional.

Just in case, I decided to nip the apparent flirtation in the bud. “We’ll visit one more site, and then I’ll have to escort you back to your quarters. Ryann will be arriving soon. You should invite Culley along on our next tour.”

“Sure. Of course. But I have no doubt he’s entertaining himself just fine without me.”

I chuckled. “Yes, the servants say he’s settled in quite comfortably, giving orders, asking for something every few minutes. Have you two known each other all your lives? Your parents are close, right?”