“What the hell are you talking about?” Allie asked, pulling her shirt on without a bra, feeling the need to be covered ASAP. She’d loved that weekend.
“What about backward meals?”
She paused in pulling her pants up. Those were fun. They’d start by going out for dessert somewhere, then go to a different restaurant for the entrée, then another for soup and salad and end somewhere else with appetizers and drinks. “What about them?”
“Did Josh ever take you out for a backward dinner?”
She thought about that. She couldn’t imagine Josh doing that. She could, however, picture the confused look on his face if she told him about it. “No. We mostly had dinner at his mom’s or with my family. Or everyone all together.” And Allie had done a lot of the cooking.
She tugged her pants up the rest of the way and zipped them. It was absolutely no surprise to her that she had more fun with Gavin than she did with Josh.
Duh.
That was a huge reason why she was currently standing in the middle of Gavin’s bedroom in Alaska in postcoital bliss.
Though his crabby mood was quickly ruining that bliss.
“I also don’t see Josh as the type to take you roller-skating, or sneak into a high school prom or have a water balloon fight with you.”
She shook her head, her heart flipping as the memories paraded through her mind. “No, he never did any of those things.” She swallowed. Suddenly she felt the need to defend Josh. Or her choice in saying yes to Josh. Or both. “But there’s more to getting married than—”
“Exactly.”
“Exactly?” She frowned. “I thought you were trying to talk me into you.”
“I’m trying to talk you into letting me show you that there’s more to me than roller-skating and eating dessert first.”
He wasn’t looking at her but she could see the strain in his face. She’d always loved the roller-skating and dessert part of being with Gavin. But…this seemed important to him.
Josh wasn’t a big dessert eater, period. “But I love dessert,” she said weakly.
“You think of me for fun, but I don’t want to just be the extra stuff. I want to be…the main meal, what you need most. Hell, I want to be your
vegetables
.”
He wanted to be her vegetables. Great. That sounded ridiculous, of course, but she couldn’t smile. She knew what he meant, and before her mom got sick she would have been thrilled.
But she didn’t want that now. Her life was full of vegetables—so to speak. She had lots of things in her life that were good for her. Teaching, taking care of her family, marrying Josh. All good for her, all important in her life, all just a little…unexciting.
It wasn’t that she disliked any of those things. She liked some vegetables, too. She could eat asparagus and carrots on a regular basis and be just fine, and she happened to love broccoli. But there were also some she really hated. Brussels sprouts, for instance.
The truth was, good for her or not, she wanted more than broccoli.
Like ice cream. Chocolate syrup. Whipped cream. Candy sprinkles.
Dessert.
Gavin was her ice cream sundae. She didn’t want to trade that in on broccoli. No way.
“I need you, Gavin. That’s why I’m here.”
“Let me show you that I can be good husband material, Allie,” he said gruffly.
Her stomach hurt. She didn’t want husband material. She’d had that—or at least, she could have had that. She needed Gavin. Just the way he had always been.
Why couldn’t they seem to get to the same place at the same time?
“How?” she finally asked, trying not to sound skeptical or resigned.
Gavin opened another dresser drawer, pulled out a T-shirt and tossed it to her. “Put this on. Then we’re going downstairs to eat dinner and watch TV and talk. We’re going to have an evening like a normal couple.”
Oh, boy. She held the shirt against her. A normal couple.
There was that love-panic combination fluttering in her chest again.
But she exchanged her shirt for Gavin’s T-shirt.
“Lose the pants,” he said.
Now
that
sounded promising. “You got it.” She stripped the pants off.
“Now let’s go.”
“Go?”
He took her hand and headed for the stairs. Him in only his sweatpants—and she’d noticed he was going commando—and her in his T-shirt and a pair of panties.
Okay, at least it was sexy.
“Lyd! We’re here!” he called.
The first floor smelled amazing once Allie actually paid attention. Garlic and tomato sauce and… Her stomach rumbled.
“Yeah, and no more skipping meals,” Gavin said, leading her to the couch.
She started to reply and then thought better of it. It wasn’t worth arguing with him. She had skipped lunch and he really wanted her to eat and have healthy habits. Fine.
Lydia came in with a big tray. There were two plates, a bread basket, and a bottle of wine with glasses. She set it down in the middle of the coffee table without a word and headed back for the kitchen.
“Thanks, Lyd,” Gavin called after her.
Allie watched her go with a frown. She didn’t need to be Lydia’s friend, but she did kind of wish that she didn’t annoy the girl so much.
Then she looked at the tray.
They were having lasagna.
And if it tasted even half as good as it smelled and looked, it was way better than Allie’s.
Score one for the moody assistant.
Allie took a seat, then pulled her feet up onto the couch, tucking her knees under the shirt. Gavin handed her a plate, poured the wine and settled back, flipping the TV on. “I know you like this movie,” he said, cutting into his own dinner.
Allie had her first bite of lasagna in her mouth and wouldn’t have cared if he turned on a war documentary. The lasagna was that good.
But it wasn’t a documentary. It was
The Bodyguard
.
She looked at him. “Ha-ha.”
He grinned. “What? Obviously this movie means something to you.”
“You just love that I called and sang that song, don’t you?” she asked, reaching for the wine.
“I do. It was a stirring rendition.” He chewed with a smug look on his face.
Allie drank, then said, “I was drunk, you know.”
“Oh, I know. But the fact that you were thinking of me, when your inhibitions were down and with everything going on around you, meant a lot.” His eyes were on the screen.
She studied his profile. He was so damned good-looking. Sexy. And talented with that mouth that was now closing around his fork tines.
They’d spent plenty of time perfecting their skills on one another, and he knew exactly how to get her going exactly where he wanted her.
She knew his buttons too—though today she’d been wondering if she’d lost her touch. Earlier that morning she’d stood naked in front of him and begged him to take her to bed and he’d said no. Because of her tears. Because she’d lost her mind and cried after an orgasm.
Then again, just a little bit ago, the tears had moved him. She drank again and thought about that. No, it hadn’t been the tears. Well, they’d started it. She’d been fighting them all afternoon, and then when she’d turned and seen him standing there all she could think about was being in his arms. The moment she’d felt his strong, solid body against hers, she’d lost it again. She’d cried on his shoulder for the first time ever. And wow, it had felt good.
And speaking of feeling good…the bathroom counter and shower and floor had all felt pretty damned good too.
Thank god, he’d relaxed his rules about talking first. Or forgotten his rules. Or said “to hell with the rules”. Whatever had happened, she was thankful.
Looking at him now, she felt that tug in her chest. He wanted to be a “normal couple” with her. He wanted to get married. He wanted to show her he wanted all of that.
How was that going to work? Alaska was a long way from Promise Harbor. Was he saying he’d consider moving home now?
Her heart tripped at that. Could she really have Gavin? Her chest felt tight as the hope welled up. Hope she hadn’t even realized she’d had deep down.
“My brothers are a mess,” she said, watching carefully for Gavin’s reaction.
He looked over at her. “What?”
She took another drink of wine and then set the glass on the table. “You asked about my dad and brothers earlier,” she said. “They’re a mess.” She took a bite of lasagna and watched Gavin process that.
He muted the TV and turned to face her, and it hit her that he was taking this very seriously. “How much of a mess?”
“Charlie’s quit five jobs in the past year. Danny’s failed three classes and is considering taking a year off. Which will mean he’ll never go back to college.” She hated that her brothers were constantly taking the easy way out. Charlie quit jobs when he didn’t want to show up on time anymore. Danny dropped classes if they required more homework than he felt he was able to fit into his very busy social calendar.
“They’ve had a tough year,” Gavin said.
“Yes,” she agreed. Her mom had done everything for the boys. Allie was trying to help them out, but there was only so much she could do. “But they’re making things even tougher with their choices. Charlie doesn’t have health insurance or money for his bills, so he moved back in with Dad and I. Danny will have a hard time finding anything over minimum wage without a college degree, and he’s already lost his girlfriend because she got sick of him slacking. And he’s living with us too.”
“I’m…sorry,” Gavin offered.
She was too. “I just wanted to…tell you something. Since you asked.”
He leaned in. “Thanks.”
“Yeah.” She took another bite of the best lasagna in the world and admitted that telling Gavin that much hadn’t hurt at all.
“How about your dad?”
Now that was a more painful subject. She swallowed and pushed a piece of pasta around her plate. “He’s a mess too,” she said. “Of course.” He and her mom had been married for thirty-four years.
“Of course,” Gavin echoed. “I guess that’s a dumb question.”
She looked up. “No. It’s not.”
Her dad had been completely lost when her mom first got sick. It had taken Allie a week or so to fully and competently take over organizing his routine—something he hadn’t been able to do since the motorcycle accident twelve years before. But once Allie understood Lily’s method for keeping Owen on track, he did okay. By the time Lily had passed away, Allie had taken over the bill paying, the scheduling, the shopping, the laundry and…everything. “He misses her terribly but…” She trailed off, realizing where she’d been about to go with the conversation.
“But what?” Gavin pressed.
“Nothing. Things have been getting better.”
Because of the wedding.
Allie put her hand against her chest and focused on not freaking out. Josh was there. And Greta was back for a little while now. And Sophie. They would make sure Owen was okay. Yeah, Charlie and Danny might be on their own—and in some trouble—but at least Owen had people to lean on. Josh knew the details, he knew the things Allie took care of. He’d step in, she knew it. Yeah, he might be mad at her, but he’d never let Owen down.
“Allie?” Gavin leaned closer, his eyes full of concern. “What is it?”
“Nothing. Just…” She wanted to say it. She wanted to tell him. It would be the first time she’d said it out loud and suddenly she wanted to tell someone.
“Just?” Gavin prompted.
She bit her lip, then said quickly, “I said yes to Josh because he can like my family when I can’t.”
Gavin watched her, considering that. He didn’t seem shocked by her confession. “What’s that mean?”
She sighed. “I love my family but…” She shrugged, trying to ignore the twinge of guilt over what she was about to say. “Sometimes it’s hard to like them. Josh gets that and he kind of takes over for me sometimes. He’ll take my dad out to do something or listen to my brothers whine. He just…makes things easier.”
Gavin worked on not swearing. Or scowling.
Josh had been there, helping Allie. That was good. At least
someone
had.
But it had, obviously, helped win her heart.
More than that, it was something Gavin had never done.
He’d helped her, but not with her family issues. Not only did they not interact with each other’s families, they didn’t talk about them much. Gavin knew that Allie and her mom took care of her dad and the boys, but he didn’t know the details. He’d never asked.
The details hadn’t mattered.
Or he hadn’t realized they mattered. Or maybe they hadn’t mattered until about the time Josh decided to propose.
Gavin ran his hand over his face and let out a breath. “I’m glad you had someone on your side.”
He was glad. Of course, he would have preferred it be a girlfriend who took her shoe shopping and out for margaritas when things got tough. Instead, it had to be a good-looking, successful guy whom everyone loved and who had a history with Allie’s family.