Read Instant Mom Online

Authors: Nia Vardalos

Tags: #Adoption & Fostering, #Humor, #Marriage & Family, #Topic, #Family & Relationships, #Personal Memoirs, #Biography & Autobiography

Instant Mom (24 page)

 

Q.
What is the process for adopting from India?

 

A.
A U.S. or Canadian citizen will need an approved Home Study to adopt from India. The entire cost of the adoption, including legal fees, is from $10,000 to $30,000, depending on the special needs of the child. The wait time varies anywhere from one to three years. India requires that potential adoptive parents be between thirty to fifty-five years old, and a couple cannot have a combined age of more than ninety. Single applicants may adopt but cannot be older than forty-five years old. Applicants may be required to stay a minimum of seven days in India, depending on the agency. For more detailed information go to adoption.state.gov/country_information/country_specific_info.php?country-select=india.

Citizens of India who are Hindu, Jain, Sikh, or Buddhist may formally adopt a child in India. Under the Hindu adoption and Maintenance Act of 1956, a single parent or married couple can adopt but are not permitted to adopt more than one child of the same sex. All others, including Muslims, Parsis, Christians, Jewish people, or foreign citizens, are only the legal guardians of the child until they reach the age of eighteen.

 

Q.
What is the process for adopting from Mexico?

 

A.
A U.S. or Canadian adoptive applicant must have an approved Home Study. The wait time is currently six months to two years. The cost of an adoption in Mexico is $13,000 to $40,000. Applicants must be over twenty-five years old and at least seventeen years older than the child. There is a required one- to three-week pre-adoption trial period, though agencies advise you to prepare to stay in Mexico an average of three months to complete the adoption. Detailed in-formation is available at adoption.state.gov/country_information/country_specific_info.php?country-select=mexico.

A citizen from Mexico can adopt within the country. Go to your local social services agency or orphanage to begin the process. Currently Mexico is encouraging citizens to adopt older children. There is a six-month trial period before the adoption finalizes.

 

Q.
What is the process for adopting from Russia?
*

 

A.
A U.S. or Canadian citizen will need an approved international Home Study. The cost for an adoption from Russia is on average $50,000. The wait time varies depending on if you are open to special needs. The wait time can be from one to two years, or even longer. Married couples and single people may adopt, though if the applicant is single they have to be at least sixteen years older than the child and no more than forty-eight years old. The prospective adopting parents are required to go to Russia two times. For more information on adopting from Russia, go to adoption.state.gov/country_information/country_specific_info.php?country-select=russia.

Russian citizens living in Russia can foster, do guardianship, or adopt a child. The process is similar to that of the United States and Canada. There also is a monthly stipend for guardianship and foster care. Russia also requires a Home Study to be completed on a family who wishes to adopt. There are a large number of children adopted by Russian citizens every year.

 

Q.
What is the process for adopting from the UK?

 

A.
U.S. or Canadian citizens who want to adopt from the United Kingdom must have an approved Home Study. Because of the UK’s long waiting list of British prospective adoptive parents, there are very few out-of-country adoptions. In fact only sixteen have occurred in the past five years. The waiting time is extreme, though the cost is low. For more information, visit adoption.state.gov/country_information/country_specific_info.php?country-select=united_kingdom.

A citizen of the UK must contact their local authority social services to complete a Home Study. The UK offers in-country adoptions, international adoptions, as well as adopting from foster care. For more information, go to www.adoptionuk.org.

 

Q.
What countries are currently closed to international adoptions?

 

A.
At the writing of this appendix, the following countries are closed to international adoptions: Bhutan, Cambodia, Guatemala, Haiti, Montenegro, Rwanda, and Vietnam. For an update on a specific country, go to adoption.state.gov/country_information.php.

 

Q.
Where can I find information on adoption from other countries?

 

A.
To learn about adoption requirements from other countries, visit adoption.state.gov/country_information.php.

 

Q.
Is it common practice for social workers and adoption agencies to suggest counseling for all types of adoption?

 

A.
Sure, and they can connect you with responsible and qualified counselors. If you adopt via foster care, there is funding available for counseling.

 

Q.
Are there specific U.S. and Canadian organizations that provide support to parents and families after an adoption?

 

A.
Most agencies have post-adoption services for families once their adoption is complete. There are also many adoption support groups. To find a local adoption support group, go to adoptive families.com/support_group.php.

 

Q.
What is Helpusadopt.org?

 

A.
Created and run by Becky Fawcett, Helpusadopt.org is a financial grant program providing monetary assistance for adoption to couples and individuals. They award grants of up to $15,000— regardless of race, religion, ethnicity, gender, marital status, or sexual orientation—to defray the costs associated with adoptions via domestic, international, or foster care. For more information, visit www.helpusadopt.org.

 

Q.
Are there other groups who assist with costs associated with private, international, and fos-adopt adoption?

 

A.
There are many organizations that offer grants or loans for adoption. For a listing of grants and loans available for adoption, visit www.iadopt.info/grantsloans.php.

RECOMMENDED BOOKS AND RESOURCES

Books

Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born
by Jamie Lee Curtis

I Wished for You
by Marianne Richmond

I Don’t Have Your Eyes
by Carrie A. Kitze

Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution Is Transforming Our Families—and America
by Adam Pertman

The Connected Child
by Karyn B. Purvis, Ph.D., David Cross, Ph.D., and Wendy Sunshine

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
by Sherri Eldridge

Being Adopted
by David M. Brodzinsky, Ph.D., Marshall D. Schechter, M.D., and Robin Marantz Henig

Children of Open Adoption
by Kathleen Silber and Patricia Martinez Dorner

 

Resources

Sleepy Planet: sleepyplanet.com

National Adoption Day: www.nationaladoptionday.org

Children’s Action Network: www.childrensactionnetwork.org

The Alliance for Children’s Rights: www.kids-alliance.org

Adopt US Kids: www.adoptuskids.org

Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute:
 
www.ccainstitute .org

North American Council on Adoptable Children: www.nacac.org

Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute: www.adoptioninstitute.org

Helpusadopt.org (financial grant services): www.helpusadopt.org

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I’d like to thank social workers, facilitators, birth and foster parents, attorneys and health care professionals—all the women and men who help create families for those of us who walk a different path to parenthood.

To the team who matched us with our daughter: Thank you for making me a mom. I think of you every day and wish I could print your names in bold and giant font.

To my editor, Jeanette Perez, and all the lovely, kind, and talented people who embody the offices of HarperOne and HarperCollins: I appreciate how you shone a light and threw a buoy as I went over the terrifying comprehensive candor waterfall. I value your expertise and compassion. Mostly, I am grateful for your desire to get a how-to-adopt book into the marketplace. You’re good people.

To my agent, Laura Nolan: Thank you for waiting until I was ready to tell the true story.

Dear Family, Friends, Core, and Colleagues: Although I couldn’t mention you all by name and tell every story, every one of you is a part of this book. It is my auspicious privilege to have all you sparkly, delightful people in my life. Come over. I will cook.

Manny and Louie: Thank you for keeping me company as I wrote.

Ian: Thank you for reading this book before you will ever finish
Seabiscuit
.

And Ilaria . . . thank you for understanding why I sometimes cry when I look at you.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

NIA VARDALOS
is the Academy Award and Golden Globe nominated actress and writer of
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
. An alumnus of The Second City comedy theater, she also starred in and wrote
Connie and Carla
and
I Hate Valentine’s Day
, starred in
My Life In Ruins
, and co-wrote
Larry Crowne
with Tom Hanks. Born and raised in Canada, Vardalos now resides in Los Angeles with her husband, their daughter, and many pets and is currently working on balancing her acting and writing career with motherhood and adoption advocacy.

 

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CREDITS

Cover design: Kyle Humphrey

COPYRIGHT

INSTANT MOM
. Copyright © 2013 by Nia Vardalos. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins ebooks.

HarperCollins website: http://www.harpercollins.com

HarperCollins®,
®, and HarperOne™ are trademarks of HarperCollins Publishers.

FIRST EDITION

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.

ISBN 978-0-06-223183-3

EPUB Edition © MARCH 2013 ISBN 9780062231857

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RRD(H)
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*
Just before
Instant Mom
went to press, the Russian government passed a law banning adoptions of Russian children by American citizens. We’ve kept this information in, in the hope that these adoptions will soon be allowed again.

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