Authors: Hayley Oakes
I nodded. “I know what you mean. His parents did a number on him, he always felt unwanted.”
“I don’t know much about that, but what I do know is that he’s been the happiest I’ve ever known him with you around, and despite the mess, I hope you two can sort it out.”
“So do I,” I said softly. “I’m not sure I would survive losing him again.”
We changed the subject and Tanya filled me in on some gossip regarding their group of friends. She told me of an affair that almost split the group in half. Told me how Mike and Kyle met, and how Mike was immediately sure that Kyle had great talent and brought him home the week he met him. She spoke fondly of Mike and told me how things hadn’t always been simple between them.
Eventually the men made their way back to the hot tub.
“Come on!” Mike boomed. “Let’s get inside for a single malt.”
“Not for me,” Tanya said slightly slurred, “I’ll have a Baileys.”
“Mmm, me too,” I said stepping out of the hot tub after her and grabbing a towel.
It was almost one am by the time we called a taxi. My hair was damp from the hot tub as I cuddled into Kyle in the back of the cab. My eyes closed as we swept through the night, and I leaned further into Kyle, his warmth and scent filled me. He made me feel safe, happy, and at ease, and finally our secret was out to one person, so maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as I thought. I had never told anyone except Ashley, and I had managed to tell Tanya. Those first few weeks at university when I was so low, I could never quite bring myself to confide in my new friends.
When we got home, Kyle walked ahead, and I held his hand lagging behind. “So did you enjoy yourself?” Kyle asked as he let me inside.
“Yes.” I nodded, standing on my tiptoes to kiss his lips.
He kissed me back and pulled me closer to him. “I like you being here with me, being my plus one.”
“Me too,” I said with a grin. “We need to talk about that …” I began.
“Not now, Soph.”
“I think now is perfect, a few drinks have made me brave, and we keep avoiding it when we’re sober.” He walked through to the kitchen. “I told Tanya,” I said.
He turned to face me. “Told her what?”
“That you are my step-brother.”
“And?” He looked at me intensely.
“She didn’t seem to care.”
“What did you expect? This isn’t some nineteenth century novel, we’re not Cathy and Heathcliffe. I don’t think it’s other people’s opinions we ever had to worry about, it’s you.”
“Me?” I squeaked, backing away from him slightly.
“Look Soph, don’t be mad, Okay?” He made his way to me and took my face in his hands. “We’ve had a lot to drink and as much as I am desperate to know where I stand and what you want and what’s going to happen in a weeks time. I also want you to be sober when we discuss it.”
“Fine,” I said haughtily, “but why do you say that it’s me we have to worry about?”
“Because,” he sighed, “you can’t let us work out because in your head this,” he motioned between us, “isn’t right, no matter how great it feels. Until YOU accept it how can anyone else?”
“I’ve accepted it,” I said in small voice.
“Soph,” he whispered, “I wish I could believe you.”
I leaned back to see the sorrow in his eyes. “I want you so much Kyle, I just want to stay here in this perfect bubble and it just be me and you forever.”
“But … “
“But I have my job, my mum, my dad, my life, and I need to go back to that, at least for now.”
“I know.” He leaned down and kissed me. “You know I was a dick when I was younger, I was selfish, hated everyone, and most of all I hated myself. I didn’t realise how much I wished I could be someone else until I went to uni and became exactly who I wanted to be. I became important, not to anyone in particular but … people knew my name and paid attention to me, and people wanted me around.”
“Everyone loved you back home, too.” I shook my head. “You were always the most popular guy around.”
“No, Soph, my parents fought over who didn’t have to have me, my mates were selfish bastards, just like me, and the one thing I really wanted was you … and you didn’t want me either.”
“Kyle.” I sighed. “I wanted you so much that it hurt. You scared the shit out of me, and I was so sure you’d break my heart.”
“What I’m trying to say in a shitty way is that … I love you. I’ve always loved you, and I’m really bad at this stuff, but whatever you decide to do that won’t change.”
“Kyle, I …” I watched as his gaze penetrated me and his words reached my heart, he had never said he loved me before. “I love you, too.” He kissed me hard on the mouth after the words had barely left my lips, and I clung to him. “I can’t imagine a day when I won’t want to be with you.”
“Don’t,” he groaned, “don’t say that.”
I pulled back slightly and looked up at him again. “I mean it Kyle. I want to make this work. I want us to be together.”
“I’ve never wanted anything more.” He scooped me up and sat me on top of the kitchen counter kissing me fiercely, running his hands down my body and underneath my thin vest top.
“Take me to bed,” I whispered.
“My pleasure,” he said gruffly, placing his hands under my bottom and carrying me to his bedroom as I wrapped my legs around his waist.
Twenty-Two
– Just over
Old Times
After an hour at home we all made our way into town for the results night out. Mum kissed me as we left and gave Kyle a hug.
“Be careful,” she said, “no more broken bones!”
We got dropped off in the taxi outside a popular bar that most people were going to first. Kathryn had texted around to find out where everyone would be. We made our way through the crowds to the back of the bar that had a view of the promenade. It was absolutely packed full of people at 9 pm, and a lot of them were probably tourists. We saw a few familiar faces and joined them where they congregated. Kathryn knew everyone and was chatting excitedly to different people. I nodded to a few people I recognised from my classes but stayed to speak to Ashley instead of throwing myself into the masses.
“Wow, Kathryn knows everyone,” Ashley said. “Shall we get a drink?”
“Okay” I said. We turned to walk to the bar and I stopped in my tracks as I saw Kyle leaning against the bar with Jennie Miller draped all over him. Kyle wasn’t necessarily engaging her in conversation, but he wasn’t pushing her away either. Ashley looked at me from her side vantage and squeezed my hand.
“She’s a super slag, Soph, she’s got him cornered!”
“I know,” I said miserably with my head down. I had no claim on Kyle, no one knew anything about us, and Jennie could do whatever she wanted. How could I complain? We forged ahead further down the bar and got in the queue to get served.
“What do you fancy? Shall we have a shot?” Ashley gave me a squeeze, and I gave her my most brilliant smile that I hoped covered up my insecurities. Of course Kyle wouldn’t do anything with Jennie, but why did he even let her hang off him like that?
Just as we were about to get served a hand snaked its way around my waist. I turned and there stood Kyle with Vinnie. They were close enough in the throng of people at the bar that no one could see Kyle’s arm around my waist. He held a glass of wine in his free hand and a bottle of beer was tucked under his arm. Vinnie also passed Ashley a glass of wine.
“We were gonna get shots!” Ashley said excitedly. “Fancy one?”
“You just twisted my arm,” Vinnie said, scooting next to her at the bar so I was pushed backwards into Kyle.
“Here,” Kyle said into my ear, passing me my drink. I turned to face him. We were close because of the crowds and I couldn’t mask my sombre face.
“What?” he asked, eyebrows raised.
I shook my head. “Nothing, just …”
“What?” he asked again.
I looked down. “I just saw Jennie all over you, that’s all.”
He smiled wryly and squeezed my hand. “Jealous?”
“No,” I lied.
“She’s a leech, I had a good place at the bar, and I wasn’t going to move just because she was there.”
“You could have told her to get lost.”
He nodded. “Point taken, next time I’ll tell her to piss off if she dares to speak to me,” he said sarcastically.
“Kyle … she’s a complete bitch and she loved it when you told me to fuck off at the ball.”
“I know,” he squeezed my hand again, “but that was me remember, not her, so just remember I won’t do anything like that again, and nothing is going to happen with her.”
“Right.” I gave him a tight smile. “It’s just that she’s your ex, and I don’t like her and …”
“Your man is just so darn irresistible that you have to keep him away from all red-blooded females.” He laughed.
“I just, please just stay away from her.”
He nodded at me and took a swig of his beer. “You need to trust me, Soph.”
“I do,” I said quietly. Just then Vinnie passed us two shots from behind my head at the bar and pushed in next to us so we could all down the burning liquid together.
Later that night a large crowd of us moved from one bar to the next. Kathryn tried to include Ashley and I in her wider group of friends, but Ashley was more interested in where Vinnie was, and I kept my eyes trained on Jennie Miller and how close she was getting to Kyle. At midnight we made our way to the club on the promenade where Kyle and I had escaped through the staff only door. We were all quite drunk and laughing as we made our way there.
Once inside everyone moved to the back of the three story club to where the chart music pumped through the room and Ashley, Kathryn and I ordered a bottle of wine at the bar. Kyle leaned against the bar next to Vinnie and David as they ordered drinks. He looked his usual calm and disinterested self; no amount of alcohol ever seemed to make him lose control. I could tell he was feeling drunk, though, as he had disappeared into himself a little, and we had all been drinking since midday.
Ashley and Vinnie were flirting and kissing at the bar, Kathryn took my hand to drag me to the dance floor, and I tried to resist as I felt very unsteady on my feet. “Come on,” she urged excitedly. I slid our bottle of wine along the bar next to Kyle, and he nodded that he would watch it, so we walked hand in hand to the dance floor.
We danced crazily and were jumping up and down, some girls from our year also joined us and we mouthed along to the songs. A couple of tunes in, and I glanced over to Kyle, where Jennie was now leaning against the bar next to him. I tried to feign disinterest, but then I couldn’t quite believe it, she reached over to our bottle of wine and refilled HER glass. I was fizzing with anger and Ashley was too wrapped up in Vinnie to notice the steal. I left the dance floor and marched over to Jennie.
“Do you fucking mind!” I barked, grabbing the glass from her.
She glared at me open-mouthed and then looked to Kyle for a reaction, but he just looked on amused.
“That is our wine, you slag,” I barked, “go and buy your own fucking drinks.”
“Oh sorry I thought Kyle had bought it,” she said in a hard voice, moving closer to my face and putting her hand on Kyle’s crossed arm. “I mean, to be fair, he did really as we all know you and your mum sponge off his dad.”
I pushed her back slightly and Kyle pounced to take my arm, holding me back for some reason. “I’m not going to hit her,” I shouted, shrugging him off.
“Of course you aren’t, you gold digging freak.” Jennie stepped forward again and pushed her face into mine so our noses were almost touching.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” I raged. Kyle held on to me and tried to get between us. Ashley and Vinnie were suddenly paying attention, and Ashley ran to my side as Vinnie tried to grab Jennie.
“Oh yeah it’s all happy families when Kyle’s getting the drinks in!” she shouted, “but I know all about you, Kyle has told me what a prissy little moron you are who loves all the wealth of your mum’s new man. Your Mum is a just a gold digger. He can’t wait to see the back of you two trolls.”
I shook my head with anger and glanced to Kyle who managed to finally get between us. “Jennie,” he said firmly, pushing her back away from me. “You have no idea what you’re …”
“You’re defending her!” she shrieked. “I’ve heard you bitch about her for four years and whine about how much she got and you didn’t because of her fucking mum and now you defend her! This freak!”
Despite the noise in the club everyone around us could see our display, I was suddenly sober and acutely embarrassed. My eyes were filling with tears, and Vinnie was talking calmly to Jennie who was seething, staring at me but she seemed to realise that we had to calm down or get thrown out. I turned away from her.
“That’s right fuck off, just like Kyle told you to at the ball!” she shouted. I couldn’t turn, I couldn’t face the sea of people, and so I just started to move. Slowly at first and then I sped up as the exit loomed, and I could almost taste the fresh air. It was then that the tears started to fall, and then that all I could do was think about how stupid I was to even get mixed up with Kyle and this whole stupid mess. He couldn’t defend me, how could he? We could never be together in front of all these people and Jennie was right, mere months ago he had hated me.
I burst into the night, closely followed by Ashley. She hugged me, and I wiped my tears.
“That stupid bitch!” Ashley said, holding me close to her.
“No.” I wiped my eyes. “I’ve overreacted, I should have just stood my ground, but she drank our wine.”
Ashley smiled at the madness of it. “That wasn’t about wine, Soph that was personal, she barely knows you.”
I took some deep breaths, trying to calm down. “She hates me.” I laughed coldly, “because she thinks Kyle does.”
Just at that moment he appeared behind Ashley’s head. “Hi,” he said quietly, “can I …?” he motioned to me and Ashley looked for me to approve.
“Go inside,” I said, “I’ll see you in a minute.”
“Soph.” He stepped towards me. “What she said …”
“It’s fine,” I held my hand up, “I know we used to hate each other.”
“I didn’t say that stuff.” He placed his hands on my arms and sank down a little so we were eye level. “I’m not one for sharing my personal shit, especially not with her.” He nodded trying to make me understand.
“Right.” I sighed.
“You don’t believe me?”
“I don’t know.” I shook my head, “it doesn’t matter. It’s fine. She embarrassed me that’s all. That’s why I’m upset.”
“Oh,” he said, pulling himself upright and running his hands through his hair, “Right.”
“What?” I spat angrily, “what’s up with you? I’m the one who just got balled out in front of our whole school year.”
“Nothing, I just … shit, Soph … she said some nasty shit about me saying some stuff about you and you just don’t care.”
“I do care!” I shouted, “but what’s the point? You don’t hate me now do you? That’s not the way you feel now?”
“I never said that shit, Soph!” He raged. “That’s my fucking point.”
“I don’t get your point, Kyle,” I said.
“You should be fuming that I would say that. You should care that I would ever have said shit like that. It should matter to you and then when I say I didn’t say it, you should care.”
“Are you high?” I shrieked. “That made no sense.”
“You are embarrassed that she shouted, but not bothered about what she said. It doesn’t bother you that I might have said that?”
“If you did it was in the past.” I shook my head, staring into his eyes and trying to understand his point.
“She said that because she’s jealous,” Kyle said, “she wants me and I keep blowing her off and me and you are friends. She hates that!”
“Oh I know she wants you, she’s all over you!” I shouted.
“And you don’t care?”
“I do care,” I said firmly, “Of course I care, I hate her touching you and …”
“Making up lies to get between us?” he raged.
I nodded, searching his eyes still trying to understand his point.
“I want you to come back in there and show her what she can’t have, show everyone what we are! I want everyone to know that I don’t say shit about you, that I don’t fucking hate you, and that we’re together!”
“What?” I was completely taken aback, “Where the hell has this come from? What the …?”
“I can’t be arsed chatting shit to idiots when I want to be chatting shit to you.” He moved closer to me, and I held my hands up to halt his approach.