Killer in Crinolines (7 page)

Auntie KiKi handed me a khaki skirt with ruffles at the hemline to add to my display and said to Chantilly, “Get a second mortgage. You must have equity in the condo or you wouldn’t have been able to buy it. Banks are right cranky these days about who they lend money to. A year or so ago Delta Longford over at the bakery tried to expand the place. The banks refused outright. Then she and Tipper got divorced and she gave up the idea.”

“I didn’t have enough of a down payment for the condo so Simon lent me money.” Chantilly looked all dreamy-eyed and clasped her hands to her bosom. “Fact is that’s how we met. I was having a beer down at Wet Willies and telling GracieAnn about my financial state of affairs. She told me about Simon and that he might be able to lend me the money I needed. I don’t think she considered the possibility that Simon and I would get on like we did. GracieAnn and I had a falling out over Simon and that’s a pity, but I just couldn’t help myself. Simon was some kind of handsome and dressed fine as can be and then got that canary yellow Audi sports car he drove all over the place.”

KiKi studied my display and did a thumbs-up. “Well, I hope that cruise was worth it.”

“I’m here to tell you it was worth it and then some. Mamma and Daddy had the best time. They even got to have dinner with the captain himself right there at his table.”

“You sent your parents on the cruise?” And here I gave myself a big pat on the back when I took Mamma to lunch once in a while.

“Mamma and Daddy were so down in the mouth after Daddy got shot in that drug bust last year they needed cheering up so I sent them on the cruise. Then this condo came up for sale not far from my apartment and Simon knew the owner. He got a fine deal on it for me. Daddy can’t keep up the house anymore and after doctor bills there wasn’t much equity. Simon was such a great boyfriend, for a while.” Chantilly sniffed. “And now he’s gone.”

Chantilly was one fine daughter and here was Simon taking advantage of her and she didn’t even realize it. I thought of Simon dumping GracieAnn for Chantilly and then Chantilly for Waynetta. Dear dead Simon was working his way up the financial food chain and finally hit the silver tuna at the top with Waynetta. “What interest rate did Simon charge you?” I asked Chantilly.

“Interest rate?” Chantilly had a wide-eyed oblivious look about her. Love wasn’t blind, it was just plain old stupid. I knew that firsthand from my prenup experience with Hollis. Too bad Chantilly suffered from the same affliction. “Does Percy know about this loan?”

“Why would any of that matter?”

KiKi patted Chantilly’s hand. “Honey, you owed Simon thousands and now he’s dead.” We all made the sign of the cross for the dead. “It’s called motive for wanting Simon gone and out of your life.”

“But I didn’t want him gone or out of my life,” Chantilly protested, her eyes misting. “I loved Simon. I know he treated me badly but that wasn’t the whole story.”

“When you figure out the interest rate he was charging you, you’ll probably spit on his grave.” I made a display of scarves on the counter.

“I would never do such a thing.”

“Give it time, honey. You will when you realize how much you were going to pay him over the years. I wonder where he got the cash to lend to you. His mother is a server at the Pink House and he’s a junior officer at the bank. Money had to be coming in from somewhere if he was lending it out.”

Chantilly folded her arms, her lower lip in a stubborn pout. “Simon had nice things, a condo in the Oglethorpe Building, corner unit that faces York Street and gets the morning sun and not the cheap ground floor. He gave me a big old diamond I truly loved when we got engaged. ’Course he took it back, but this all goes to prove the man had some business sense about him. He was even named Employee of the Year over there at the bank and has the trophy to prove it.”

“How does somebody get their hands on serious money?” I said aloud, trying to put the pieces together.

“They inherit it, work for it, steal it, marry it, make it,” KiKi said in an offhanded manner as someone who knew a lot more about big bucks than I did. She added a shoulder bag and brown belt to the scarves.

“If he was printing money in his attic, he’d be caught by now, and if he was skimming from the bank, he’d be in the slammer for sure. Marrying money was next on his list. That leaves stealing.” I slapped my hands on the counter making my dear auntie, Chantilly, and BW jump a foot. “Look around here. What do you see?”

KiKi gave the Fox a once-over. “I see a lot of clothes you want to sell and not doing very well at it.”

“I don’t sell a sweater, then pay off the person who consigned that particular sweater with that same money. I have other consigners and pay the next one who comes in with that money. My guess is that’s what Simon did.”

“Oh my stars and garters,” KiKi said in a drawn-out voice of understanding. “There were others!”

“Other women?” Chantilly wailed. “Where did the man get the stamina for carrying on like he did?”

“Others in that he lent money to others,” I soothed. “They paid him a hefty interest each month just like you did. He kept some of the money and lent the rest to generate more income. Simon Ambrose was a big, fat loan shark, but lending money for a condo is a lot of cash. How many others did he have on the hook? If GracieAnn sent you to Simon to borrow money, I bet she sent others and if they couldn’t pay, that’s a good motive for murder. I need to talk to GracieAnn.”

“But he said the loan was just for me. That I was special to him and he wanted to do me a favor.” I could tell from the look in Chantilly’s eyes she was a step closer to spitting on Simon’s grave and a step further away from
Simon, the love of my life
.

“I’m coming with you to the bakery,” KiKi said, heading toward the back door. “I’m having company for supper tonight and could do with a nice peach pie and some yeast rolls. I have to put on my face and grab my pocketbook. Give me a minute or two,” KiKi’s voice trailed off, then the back door slammed shut, the quiet of the Fox now deafening, my brain fixated on the peach pie.

“Do you really think Simon was a loan shark?” The desolation in Chantilly’s voice snapped me away from pie. “How could he do that to me? And it seems sort of risky. If someone couldn’t pay, they’d just turn Simon into the police.”

“Not if they were into something illegal or it made them look stupid to their family and friends. My guess is Simon would take something if they didn’t pay up.”

“He was a repo man?” Chantilly’s eyes widened. “He’d take something like a yellow sports car or even Mamma and Daddy’s condo right out from under them?” Chantilly’s eyes got beady. “Simon was nothing more than a big, fat, no-good rat!”

I
HITCHED
up Bruce Willis and met KiKi outside her back door. We waved to Percy, then KiKi, BW, and I took off. “Who are you having over for supper?” I asked KiKi as we hung a right onto Drayton, walking on the inside of the sidewalk under the oaks and keeping out of the sun. “One of Putter’s golf friends?”

“He’s a really nice man that Putter met at one of those medical conferences. He’s in town and—”

“No way.” I stopped right there on the sidewalk, alarm bells bonging so loud in my head my eyes crossed. “Don’t you even think about such a thing.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” KiKi said with a lilt in her voice that said she was guilty of just what I thought she was guilty of. She took my arm and pulled me on. “I’m simply having a friend of my husband’s for supper is all. Perfectly innocent.”

“You don’t have an innocent bone in your body when it comes to blind dates. What you’re cooking up amounts to another doctor-for-Reagan event and luring me in with peach pie. I hate when you do this.” I hated more that it worked. I was a sucker for peach pie. “Remember Dr. Fat-and-bald you tried to fix me up with in the spring? He wasn’t even nice. He called BW an
m-u-t-t
!”

“But the guy was rich and you could do with a little doctor money in your life,” Kiki persisted.

“I’m not marrying for money!”

“It was just a thought; not many customers in the Fox this morning even without Percy.” KiKi was right about that. I could feel Hollis’s presence like a black vulture hovering over me.

We passed Forsyth Park with the big white fountain spraying skyward, water droplets dancing in the sun. “Besides, this guy’s different. He’s a crackerjack surgeon and tall and handsome with blue eyes and young and a real hunk and—”

“Divorced three times with alimony payments that match the national debt and a bunch of bratty spoiled kids.”

“No kids, no divorce, and if you don’t come, he and Putter will talk doctorese and I’ll have to listen to recounts of a triple bypass over rare roast beef. Last time that happened I couldn’t eat meat for three months. Have pity on me. Be nice, help me out here.”

Nice
. I thought of the promise I made out in the swamp. Considering it had involved Boone that was a bit of a dirty trick on God’s part. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

“Okay?” KiKi blinked twice and gave me a round-eyed stare of disbelief. “That’s it? No argument, no begging, no reminding that I’m your favorite auntie and the guy truly is a hunk.”

“You’re my only auntie and I don’t care if he’s a hunk, and can I borrow the Beemer tomorrow?”

“So you can go to Simon’s funeral?”

I stopped dead. “Tomorrow’s the funeral?”

“Unless you know someone else who’s croaked recently.” We made the sign of the cross at
croaked
. “Ten o’clock,” KiKi went on. “It’s the layout and then straight off to the cemetery and into the ground all in one fell swoop. My guess is Simon’s mamma wanted to drag things out and milk the occasion, but Reese Waverly’s paying for the whole shebang down to the headstone and the Abbott sisters and their weeping hankies. Reese wanted fast, so fast it is.”

“We should go,” I said. “It’ll be a big social event.”

“We?”

“Then we need to go check out a truck.”

“We?”

“When the UPS truck got hit from behind, I was so busy trying to keep Big Brown on the road I didn’t catch who did it. My last pickup was from Icy Graham and I know he has a truck because I saw it at Waynetta’s wedding. Icy’s seafood store isn’t too far from Bonaventure and out on Lighthouse Road. Icy wasn’t thrilled I mentioned he was at Waynetta’s wedding, like he was trying to hide something and not wanting to own up to it. There was no mention of
Gee, what do you think about the groom winding up with a cake knife in his back
. Seems that might be expected idle conversation, don’t you think? You can buy shrimp and crab and keep Icy busy while I take a look around his place. Someone doesn’t like me asking questions and right now Icy has top billing with the swamp being so close to his place.”

“You think whoever shoved you off the road killed Simon?”

“I’m thinking maybe Icy borrowed money from Simon. Late summer is a tough time of year for shrimpers. Maybe Icy fell behind in his payments and did in Simon so Simon wouldn’t repossess his business. No one would suspect the shrimp guy as the murderer at a wedding. With a bunch of other people running around he kind of faded into the background.”

“Like Cher says,
Someone has to pay for the frog and dancing fairies,
except for Simon it was cars and condos.” KiKi pulled a sour face. “Well, here we go again. I’m your distraction, your snooping-around beard. I try and come up with stuff to keep people busy. That isn’t much fun you know.”

“Neither is triple-bypass chitchat over rare prime rib.”

“There is that.”

The closer we got to the bakery, the faster BW pulled me on. I had a sweet tooth or two, but BW had a whole mouthful. The bakery was at midmorning lull between early breakfast folks on their way to work and the idle rich or retired senior brunch set. KiKi was in a quandary over a strawberry Danish or an éclair; I got a doughnut with sprinkles. I’m a sucker for sprinkles and they’re cheap. Reagan cuisine.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” I asked GracieAnn when I paid for my doughnut at the old brass register, where the prices flipped up in the little window on top and a bell rang when the drawer slid open. GracieAnn’s apron was smeared with pink icing and a dab of something chocolate. GracieAnn’s apron looked delicious.

She hitched her head to the side counter and I followed her around, KiKi in tow. GracieAnn took an order over the phone with her cupcake pencil, then held out a tray of dead-guy cookies to us. “I got another batch cooling,” she said. “Delta’s in the back decorating them for me while trying not to have a stroke now that one of the mixers won’t work. I tell you, we’re running this place in the ground. Heard you ran the UPS truck into the swamp and Walker Boone had to rescue you.”

GracieAnn fanned herself with a pink order pad, her plump rosy cheeks taking on a deep blush. “That man is mighty handsome, I tell you. Prime grade-A beefcake. He can come and rescue me anytime, night or day. Preferably at night, if you get my drift. I wonder if he knows how to fix a mixer?”

I leaned across the counter. “What do you know about Simon?”

GracieAnn formed a pucker as if sucking on a lemon. “Other than he was a rotten, no-good dirtbag, what else is there? You sure you don’t want another cookie?”

“What was he like as a banker, and I’m not talking about his job at Savannah Bank and Trust. I mean his other banking attributes as a self-employed entrepreneur. Did you know his other clients? You sent Chantilly to Simon.”

“Biggest regret of my life.”

“Did you send anyone else?” KiKi said with a mouthful of Danish.

“No one else matters. I made those UPS cookies for a reason, you know. Chantilly got what she deserved. She stole Simon from me and now she’s a prime suspect in his murder and I couldn’t be happier about the whole situation.”

“But she’s innocent,” I added, trying for a bit of compassion and some information.

“Not to me she isn’t. She’s guilty of boyfriend-napping.” GracieAnn studied me for a second. I could almost see the little gears churning away behind her emerald eyes. She leaned across the marble counter, her nose nearly toughing mine. “Chantilly’s your friend, that’s what you were doing in that UPS truck. You were helping her out because she’s fretting over getting arrested and messing up her job. She’s been mucking up deliveries. I hear stuff, you know. I bet you’re trying to get Chantilly off the guilty list and that’s why you’re asking me all these dreadful questions.”

The gears churned again. “You want to blame Simon’s demise on someone else who he lent money to instead of Chantilly? Well, it’s not going to work, sugar.” GracieAnn stood tall and parked her hands on her well-endowed hips. “Chantilly’s guilty as all get-out, pure and simple, and now she gets to pay the price.”

“I’m helping Walker Boone. He’s working on her case.” Oh, Lordy, did I really just say that? I must have because KiKi kicked me in the shins.

“Walker Boone is helping Chantilly?” GracieAnn looked impressed. Heck, I was impressed I came up with that award-winning lie right there on the spot.

“Who would have thought?” GracieAnn said, a little breathless.

I crossed my fingers behind my back. “Bet I could get him to come around and talk to you for a bit about the case.”

That warranted another KiKi shin-kicking but GracieAnn beamed. “I bet I could tell him a few things he’d like to know about this here case. Stuff he never suspected.”

“You could tell me and I could tell him. He’d be mighty grateful.”

“Now why would I do a thing like that if Walker Boone’s showing up at my door? I’m here to tell you that sure would make my day.” GracieAnn fluffed her voluminous hair held in place by a net. “Someone like Walker Boone is a million times better than Simon. That man’s the icing on my cake.”

GracieAnn nodded, a sensual glint in her eyes. KiKi grabbed my arm, hauling me across the wood floor, Bruce Willis following, lapping dropped pastry crumbs along the way.

“What are you doing?” Auntie KiKi growled between barely moving lips when we got outside and sat at one of the little white wrought-iron tables for coffee and goodies alfresco. “The icing on the cake! Boone is not going to appreciate you feeding him to GracieAnn like that.”

“It wasn’t a full-out feed, more like a necessary nibble,” I whispered back. “I had to come up with something to get her talking. I bet dollars to doughnuts that GracieAnn sent other financially distressed clients to Simon, and I have to keep her on my side so she’ll tell me who they are.”

“Honey, she’s not going to tell you beans, and when she finds out you fibbed about Boone she’s gong to have a hissy. This is the woman who bakes dead-people cookies. Did you ever see that
Sweeney Todd
picture? Bet GracieAnn could be another Sweeney Todd given half a chance. She’s not someone you want to tick off. Think
Reagan
cookies with blonde icing hair and flip-flops. I’m going back in that store and get my baked goods for tonight, then stop over at Dan’s Flora and Fauna for some of those sunflowers in his window that are bigger than a roasted turkey. Then I’m taking a cab home. Don’t be late for dinner, and wear something presentable. A little lipstick wouldn’t hurt either.”

“I can go with you,” I said, thinking another sprinkle doughnut might be in order. “I bet Percy’s still out front of the Fox, so I don’t have any customers. How am I ever going to get rid of him?”

“Worry about that later. You have bigger fish to fry. Confession’s good for the soul, and this time it might save your hide, least with Boone. You best go tell him that GracieAnn might be looking for him. If she shows up on his doorstep and says you sent her, Boone will hunt you down. With GracieAnn you best watch your back, literally.”

Auntie KiKi took my hand, her look pained. “Honey, you got a particular way of getting yourself in deep doo-doo these days. Someone ran you into the swamp and now you might very well get baked up into cookies. How does this keep happening?”

I watched KiKi go inside. GracieAnn had information I could use. I should watch her, see whom she was friendly with and maybe catch a conversation or two. That made me a stalker, and part of the Sweeney Todd conversation replayed in my head. I needed one of those bug things to plant in the bakery. Right, I couldn’t even afford a phone.

Chatting it up with Boone was not on my wish list at the moment. He’d fold his arms, shake his head, and proceed with a
what were you thinking
lecture. I wasn’t in a lecture-by-Boone mood. When I got back to the Fox there was no sign of Percy on my sidewalk. Things were looking up till I went inside to find my AC unit in bits and pieces all over the dining room hardwood floor. Percy had his jacket off, red tie loose and limp at his neck, a smear of grease on his right ear, a toolbox at his side. He sat on one of my dining room chairs digging around in the metal AC case wedged in the window. Central air was not a luxury of old homes with radiator heating and money-challenged owners.

“What’s going on?” I asked Chantilly, a few customers in the shop trying to act as if having machine pieces on the floor were a common occurrence.

Chantilly nodded at the mess. “Your AC was making weird noises.”

“If you were as old as that unit, you’d be making weird noises, too.”

Chantilly crooked her finger at me and I leaned across the checkout counter. “It may be a little warm in the Fox, but Percy isn’t harassing customers either. He chased off a whole busload of Red Hat ladies from the First Baptist Church over there on Bull Street who came to shop. You know how those gals in the red hats spend money. I remembered Percy did repair work to earn his way though college and told him about the AC. When he gets that done maybe we can break something else around here to keep him busy and off the streets so to speak.”

“He looks happy. I think he’s humming.”