Authors: Tim Tingle
“I am nowhere near intoxicated! I am in full control of my faculties! I intend to have you, and I am being honest in telling you so!”
“Do you make the same offer to all your authors?”
“Only the male ones! I am strictly heterosexual! I consider my offer to be part of the ‘fringe benefits’ package of publishing with Jester Books! And as our existing #1 selling author, you are entitled to a considerable back-log of benefits, which are past due! It might take
days
to catch you up!”
“All your male authors? Even the doddering old guys?”
“I cull none!”
“Does your father know about these ‘fringe benefits’?”
“I am sure he is aware of my behavior, but he prefers to look the other way. I am who I am, and he knows that. Besides, there is nothing better than having satisfied authors! Our Better Business Bureau rating is off the charts!”
“I can imagine. So do you offer any other benefits besides sex?”
“What did you have in mind?”
“Well, like maybe some sort of monetary incentive to publish my second book with you? Perhaps a small share of the profits from ‘The Relic’ would be nice. I know that by the present contract, you are not obligated to do so, but it might encourage me to re-sign ‘The Relic’ to you in 19 months, and also this second book.”
“My father is the one who will decide on that aspect of the contracts, so you will have to negotiate with him on that. He makes the final decisions.”
Their ‘freshened up’ drinks arrived, and she thanked the waiter, then, as soon as he was out of range, she again leaned over toward Travis, throwing her flaming red hair out of her face.
“Let me enlighten you to this one fact, Travis. Since I have been with my father’s company, almost eleven years now, I have had a perfect record! Sometimes it requires a dose of Viagra. But I do not intend for my streak to be broken! Most of the authors we published only became published, because I strongly recommended that we publish them. Father has never refused to publish someone I have recommended!”
“Your point being?”
“That if you want to secure royalties from ‘The Relic’, or sign your second book to contract, it will not happen without my recommendation!”
She and Travis both took a big drink, and glared at one another across the table. Her glare turned to a sweet smile. “Now, that is not too much to ask, is it?”
“Let me get this straight. You are trying to blackmail me into sleeping with you?”
“Blackmail is such an ugly word. I would rather say that I am encouraging you to agree to publishing under the Jester Books logo!”
“Well, you know that I am married, and in my mind, what you are suggesting is out of the question.”
“But your wife will never know!”
“That’s not the point. I have been accused of infidelity before, which was not true. So I am already treading on thin ice. I’m going to have to turn down your offer. I can get my second book published under a different logo. I would rather use a State-side company anyway, as a logistical thing.”
“Don’t be too hasty to decide. Jester Books is the parent company of a large book publisher in the United States, so getting copies to market will be no logistical problem. But don’t think you have to decide now. You’ll be here a whole week! Please think about it.”
“And I will feel the same on Friday as I do today.”
She gave him a sly smile. “But you have not yet seen
all
of my physical attributes, nor all the perks that Jester Books can offer!”
“I have seen enough, I think. And I’m sure there is nothing wrong with your ‘physical attributes’. You are very good looking, but you greatly cheapen yourself, by throwing yourself at men like you do. I know that
my
respect for you has dropped like a rock, in the past ten minutes!”
“Oh poo! What do I care about your respect! I am who I am! I need for no one to respect me!”
Travis just smiled.
In
this
big,
crazy
world,
it
really
does
take
all
kinds,
he thought.
And
some
of
these
crazies
are
the
kind
I
want
nothing
to
do
with.
Here
is
a
prime
example
of
that,
sitting
across
the
table
from
me!
It’s
a
crying
shame
that
my
future
as
a
writer
has
to
cross
paths
with
someone
like
this.
But
isn’t
that
just
my
luck?
He raised his glass to her, intending a deliberate insult. “A toast to you, Angel! You are a unique individual! May you never find the respect of others!”
For the first time, she did not smile, and Travis thought to himself,
Good!
Strike
three,
and
I’m
out
of
here!
But then she raised her martini glass to him, with a smug wisp of a smile and replied, “You
do
understand me then! I find that to be
such
a turn-on in a man! I will certainly drink to that!”
Inwardly, Travis sighed. He was going to have problems with her, he could tell.
“I dare say that you will enjoy the time spent with me! In addition to immensely helping your writing career, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you helped a poor deprived British woman, who has particular needs and desires, that have for too long gone unsatisfied!”
“It sounds like you need a man in your life.”
“In the worst sort of way!”
“Ever thought of marriage?”
“Not even for two seconds! I need a husband, like I need a ball and chain around my ankle!”
“And I need an extra-marital affair, like I need a gunshot to the head! I’m sorry, but I can’t help you.”
“Are you quite sure?”
“Yes Ma’am.”
“Would you change your mind if you could see this fabulous body of mine pressed up against you?”
“My wife is pretty fabulous herself. And besides that, she has access to a shotgun, and she knows how to use it! I have had to do some fast talking with that shotgun at my head, and I have no desire to get in that position again, thank you!”
“If you are scared, then just
say
you are scared!”
“I am scared of my wife’s shotgun! There. That was easy.”
“I guess I figured you for a bigger man than you really are, Travis! Most men would not turn down an offer like this!”
“What it proves, is that I am a better man, for
being
able
to turn down such an offer.”
She took a big drink of her martini. “I respect your decision. For now. But as the week goes on, I will give you every opportunity to change your mind. Care for a little wager?”
“What kind of wager?”
“A wager that I will have you before this week is out!”
“It’s your money.”
“Nothing large, just a token wager of say, five pounds.”
“I wouldn’t want you to lose more than that.”
“Five pounds it is! And you will be paying
me
before you leave, my love, and you will be happy to do it! I always get what I want, and right now, you are on the top of my wish list!”
“Once again, I am a wanted man!”
Their dinner arrived, and the waiter poured the wine for them. Angel put her wager on the back burner, as they talked about other things, like British customs, and sights to see around London. Travis told her about Alabama, and what was different about living in the South. She had dozens of questions about every-day life in Alabama, and stated that she would like to go there one day. Usually Travis would extend his Southern hospitality to someone wanting to visit Alabama, by inviting them to come by his house and make themselves at home. Such invitations were given out as a courtesy, and seldom accepted, because few people he met overseas would actually ever be coming to the South. But he carefully neglected to offer such an invitation to this woman, because he was afraid she actually would show up at his door one day, and Janice would not be hospitable to her either.
Angel behaved herself all through dinner, setting aside her sexually charged innuendoes, for descent, intelligent conversation, which Travis found to be more pleasing. He thought perhaps she had given up on her wager, until after dinner was over, and the waiter came around to offer them dessert. Then she returned to her naughty self.
“No, I think we will go back to my apartment for our dessert!” She cut her eyes toward Travis as she said this.
“Yes Ma’am. Would you care for an after-dinner drink?”
“No, thank you,” Travis said. “I have had a very long day, and I must be going. Tomorrow will be another long day.”
“Yes, I think we will be going. Would you be so kind as to call a taxi for us?”
“Certainly, Miss Bagley.”
“Charge the dinner to Jester Books, and don’t forget to give yourself a big tip! The service was excellent, as usual!”
“Thank you, Miss Bagley, and please come again!”
As they rode the escalator down to the street level, she again asked Travis about his manuscript. “Will you still allow me to read your new manuscript?”
“Yes, you can read it, but I will need it back by Friday, because I will most likely be taking it back with me.”
“You don’t anticipate my father giving you a contract on it?”
“Not if it comes attached to all the stipulations you have placed on it! I would rather take it elsewhere. No offense.”
“Please don’t take me seriously, Travis! I like to mix business with pleasure, but I can also respect your wishes, if that is the only thing preventing you from signing with us. My ‘toying’ with you, should not interfere at all with our business deal.”
“Now you are talking sensibly.”
“I can make you the exception to my rule. We can be all business, and no pleasure, if that’s what you want.”
“In light of my marital status, that’s the way it has to be.”
“But all work, and no play, makes Travis a dull boy!”
“Well, I am what I am.”
As they reached the public sidewalk, she had an inspiration. “Do you know what would be great? Since it is only ten minutes of nine, we could go to my apartment and fix a drink or two, and relax in my hot tub! It looks out over the city, which is a wonderful sight at night! The moon is rising as we speak. Doesn’t that sound appealing?”
“I’ve never been in a hot tub, so I don’t know. Besides, I didn’t bring a bathing suit.”
She smiled. “You have a birthday suit, don’t you?”
“Yes, but I don’t like to show it off.”
“Too bad!”
“Well, I’m off.”
“Wait! I can drop you off at your hotel on my way home.”
“It’s only six blocks. Besides, I would like to experience the London streets after dark anyway. I like walking.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes Ma’am. So I will see you at the book signing tomorrow?”
“Oh yes! My father and I will both be there. It will be a big affair”
“See you then.”
He was never more glad to get away from someone in his life. He was finally able to take a deep breath and relax. How ironic that she had the title of ‘Director of Author Affairs’, because it seemed that ‘affairs’ was all she thought about. Well, he had no intention of being another notch on her pistol!
He walked on in silence, as his tired mind raked over the debris of the long day. The afternoon nap had helped, but he was still bone tired. He didn’t care what the itinerary called for in the morning, he intended to sleep late, to get back into form.
Why
me!
Why
does
this
always
happen
to
me?
He stopped in front of a closed business and looked at his reflection in the dark window.
I
‘m
not
handsome,
not
by
a
long
shot.
I
could
stand
to
drop
a
few
pounds,
so
what
is
it
that
women
like
Angel,
and
Miranda
see
in
me?
Maybe
I
should
peruse
a
different
hobby.
Does
being
a
writer
turn
some
women
on?
Nah!
It’s
probably
something
that
has
nothing
to
do
with
me.
Just
one
of
life’s
mysteries!
If
I
could
solve
that
mystery,
the
mystery
of
what
turns
women
on,
I
could
retire
from
the
mine,
and
never
write
again!
I’d
have
to
learn
to
live
like
the
rich
and
famous!