Love Proof (Laws of Attraction) (32 page)

“Fairly certain,” she answered, once again trying to keep her face
completely neutral.  For her sake and for Joe’s.  They didn’t need to work each
other up right before a two-and-a-half hour flight.  There would be time enough
after that.

Just two more nights with him, Sarah thought, then she’d have to wait
again until the weekend.  She almost wished she had taken better advantage of
all their weeks together.

But things had turned out the way they had for a reason, she
remembered.  Joe had only been waiting to win her back before quitting the case. 
So if he had convinced her sooner, he would have left sooner.  What she should
really be wishing, she thought, was that she hadn’t been so stubborn, just like
he said.  If she’d softened a little earlier, bent a little instead of so
rigidly clutching on to her anger, she could have bought him a larger window of
time in which to maneuver.

But whatever happened now, they would just have to deal with
it—together. 
I’m with you, Joe.
  She meant that.

What that meant for their future at large, she couldn’t say.  But she
did know that for now, at least, she had tied herself to his fate.

She thought about how different she would have felt back in April if
she’d had someone like Joe on her side.  Someone to come home to that day, to
pour out her heart to, to reassure her, to hold her.  She knew Joe’s situation
wouldn’t be that dramatic—he already knew what was coming, he just didn’t know
when—but still, she was happy she could offer him the kind of support she
wished she’d had herself.

She had no idea what his finances were.  She had been caught in the
middle of an upward climb, at a time when she’d been spending money—including
sending some to her parents every month—instead of saving.  If Joe had this
much warning, maybe he had been able to set some aside.  Or maybe he wouldn’t
have to wait as long as she did before finding another job.  The fact that he’d
already been offered one was excellent news.  Maybe the whole situation would
be much easier for him.

Although she still wished he hadn’t turned the job down, whatever it
was.  Just one more consequence of her staying hostile to him for so long.

She could drive herself crazy with what-ifs.

“Where are you sitting?” Joe asked her when he returned.  He bought a
deli sandwich and a bag of chips he opened up and propped between their seats
for her to share.

“Eleven-F.  You?”

“Nineteen-B.  Maybe we can find someone to switch.”

“No,” Sarah said, “just in case.”  She glanced around the boarding
area.  She still didn’t see Marcela, but she wanted to be careful.  They
weren’t completely free yet.

“Are you checking into your hotel tonight?” Joe asked.

She had thought about that.  In a way, she was wasting client money by checking
into a hotel for whatever short period she’d be there, knowing she would spend
the night with Joe.

“Maybe not,” she said.  “I’m not sure yet.”

He turned and gave her a look.  “I don’t want to act like you’re a sure
thing, since I know how much you hate that, but . . . come on, Sarah.”  The
smile he gave her was far too seductive.  Then she watched his eyes shift to her
mouth.

She wanted the same thing:  to drag his mouth to hers, to feel his
hands underneath her shirt, grasping her bare breasts, to climb on top of him,
right there in the metal seats of the boarding area so the two of them could take
their five minutes of tease.

She forced herself to look away.  Her breathing felt rapid and
shallow.  She laughed in a husky, self-conscious way, knowing how easy it must
have been for Joe to read her mind just then.

“Later?” he asked.

“Later,” she promised.  And then she intended to make all the waiting
worth it.

***

She’d reserved a rental car, but it didn’t make much sense to pick it
up.  Just another unnecessary expense, she told herself, since Joe was renting
a car anyway, and she could ride with him to his hotel.  Then take a cab back
in the morning before the deposition, and another cab to the airport that
afternoon.

She waited while he filled out the paperwork.  It reminded her of the
beginning of their whole relationship, back in the rental car area of the small
Illinois airport.  How she stood off to the side while that bossy third-year
completed the transaction.  How she had been so cold, and Joe noticed.  The way
he silently brought her hands into his pocket and held them there.  The way his
touch had felt, even then:  right.  Natural.  And nearly irresistible.

“Ready?”

Sarah nodded.  Joe laid his hand against the small of her back as the
two of them walked toward the doors outside.

They walked all the way to the garage, down the rows to where his car
was, loaded their luggage into the trunk, then waited until they were safely in
their seats.

Then as if someone had shot a starter’s pistol, they were immediately
at each other, lips parting, hands reaching, bodies stealing just a few minutes
of release after too long in such careful close contact.

Sarah pulled her mouth away, panting.  “The sooner you get there—”

Joe started the car.  Sarah buckled in and closed her eyes.

God, she needed this man.  How had she ever thought she could do
without him?  No one—
no one
—had ever excited her more, understood her
better, or, she freely reminded herself,
loved her
the way Joe had.  And
she had never loved anyone else.  No one before him, no one after.  It was Joe
for her, or no one.

She almost said it.  Almost told him.  But it was her one remaining
gift.  If she just threw it out to him now, what value did it have?  He’d said
it to her in a way that mattered: 
“Have I done enough to convince you that
I still love you and I wish I’d never let you go?”
  Words she would never
forget.  Just like the simpler words of a younger Joe telling her,
“I love
you like crazy, Sarah.”

Words mattered.  Context mattered.  She would wait for the right time.

For now, she reached across the seat and squeezed his hand.  He lifted
her hand to his lips and kissed the knuckles.

“No,” she said, laughing at the instant heat and moisture his gesture
had brought on.  She reluctantly pulled her hand away.  “Just get me to the
hotel.  Then we’ll take care of all of this.”

***

“No belt,” Sarah murmured appreciatively as she began stripping Joe of
his jeans.

He was right:  her undergarments barely slowed him down.  He unhooked
her bra and divested her of her panties before his own clothes hit the floor.

This time, instead of carrying her to the bed, he took a detour toward
the bathroom.

He set her on the floor and turned on the hot water.

“No, my hair—”

He had a three-word response to that, ending in
your hair
, then he
pulled her naked into the shower.

They were both so different now, Sarah thought.  She continued to
marvel at that.  How much broader and more muscular he’d gotten, how much
tighter and stronger she had.  It was a pleasure, just in a pure aesthetic
sense, to run her hands over his body, to feel what it was like pressing
herself against him now, to know that they were both older and better versions
of what they had been the last time they were in love.

Joe soaped up his hands and went to work.  Sarah let him.  She braced
her hands against the tile walls and let him touch her however he liked.  She
would take her own turn with him later, she knew, but for now she had
absolutely no problem with Joe exploring her first.

He slicked his hands slowly over her breasts.  She leaned back against
him, feeling the hardness, savoring it, knowing how it would feel inside her,
in no hurry to get there.  She was tired of rushing with this man.  She wanted
long hours with him, the languorous kind of sex they had experienced the past
two nights in the privacy of their own apartments.  No more furtive lovemaking
on the run.  She was tired of hiding.  She couldn’t wait for him to be free of
the case so they could be together in the open.

Her carefully styled hair was already in uncontrollable coils, but she
didn’t care.  He had seen her that way plenty of times when they were younger. 
What she cared about were his hands, now venturing lower, coaxing her thighs
apart, one strong arm bracing her against him while the fingers on his other
hand did their delicate work.

Sarah sighed with the force of a body finally letting go:  letting go
of the tension, the anger, the resentment, the fears that held her back.  She
thought she had already given it all away, but here was the last of it, the
marrow of it, working its way up to the surface and washing away in the steam. 
If she was with him, she was with him all the way now.  He could have her in
every configuration:  her body, her desire, her passion, her heart, her mind,
her love.

She turned to him, and if it wasn’t the right time, not important or
special enough, then she couldn’t help it:  it had to be said.

“I love you, Joe.  I’ve always loved you.”

He covered her mouth with his and pulled her tightly against him.  Then
he shut off the water, lifted her from the shower, and set her dripping on the
floor.  They dried each other as hurriedly as they could in between kissing and
caressing, and then Sarah knew there would be no slowness this time, no long,
languid build-up, because it had to be now, they needed each other too much, and
Joe barely got her to the bed before sheathing himself and entering her in
almost the same motion.

She lay wet and loose against the sheets, her legs wrapped around him,
her hands gripping his shoulders as he kissed her deep and long, her body
absorbing every thrust of his hips, wanting this part to go on and on, because
it was the best expression she could think of for how close she felt to him
now, how much she needed him, how much she trusted and loved him and wanted him
to feel the same from her, how she was with him now, and would be, how much
better it could be now that they knew what they’d had and knew too well what
they had lost.

Sarah could feel the power mounting, the force of her desire pushing
its way to the surface, the release that her body craved even if her heart never
wanted this part to end.

She exploded with a cry, her hips bucking against him, her back
arching, her fingers digging into his shoulders as Joe drove into her harder
now, more urgently, and then he was with her, too, shuddering with the release,
his face and body slick with sweat, his mouth still hungry for hers.

Sarah held him against her for a long time, captive in the double bind
of her arms and legs.  Then finally the two of them realized she couldn’t
breathe with his full weight on her, and she let him shift to the side.

She heard him say something, but the curtain was already lowering in
her brain, and she was almost asleep.  Joe pulled the covers over both of them
and that was the last she remembered before his watch alarm woke them in the
morning.

Joe kissed her awake and told her that he loved her.

“I love you, too,” she said.

Such a sweet beginning, Sarah thought later, to one of the hardest days
of her life.

Thirty-five

“Hi, Ms. Henley.  Ryan Sollers.  Very nice to meet you.”  Chapman’s
replacement shook Sarah’s hand.

“‘Sarah’ is fine,” she said, taking in the upgrade in both manners and
appearance of the new attorney.  He looked more like a California surfer than a
litigator, with his blond hair and a tan that looked like he earned it honestly
out in the sun, rather than at a salon.

A court reporter Sarah had never seen was setting up.  “I thought
Marcela was with us this week.”

“She lost a crown over the weekend,” the woman said.  “She had to get
it fixed today.  I’m Wendy.  I’ll be here and in Seattle tomorrow.”

Sarah shook her hand.  “Thanks for filling in.”

Joe entered the conference room along with his client, a young woman who
looked like she was in her early 20s.  Ryan stood up and introduced himself to
both of them.  He even shook the plaintiff’s hand, which Sarah had never seen
Chapman do.

“Before we get started, Ms. Townsend,” Ryan said to the woman, “is
there anything we can get you?  Water, coffee?”

“No,” she answered nervously.  “Thanks.”  She looked at Joe as if
seeking some reassurance that she’d given the right answer: 
We don’t take
food or comfort from the enemy.

Joe smiled encouragingly.  “Just speak up if you need anything,” he
said, “all right?”

The young woman nodded.

“Well, let’s get started then, shall we?” Ryan said.  “I promise I
won’t take too much of your time today, Ms. Townsend.  Just a few questions,
then we’ll have you on your way.”

Sarah caught Joe’s eye and gave him a look that said,
Not bad.
 
So far this new lawyer was a vast improvement over Chapman.

While Ryan began his preliminary questions—“Please state your name,
your date of birth, address,” etc.—Sarah booted up her laptop.  Then she
entered a search for “Ryan Sollers.”