Master of My Mind BN (34 page)

 
I strived to portray
a vision of patience on the outside. But on the inside, I clawed at the need to
prove myself to him and to feel his steely velvet upon my tongue.

“What is it you want, angel?”

I flashed him a saucy grin.
“Permission to
suck your big, bad cock, Master?”

A wicked grin crawled across his lips. “You may, my sassy
little minx.”

He let me tease him with my mouth and tongue for a long time
before he pulled me to the bed and slid his glistening cock deep in my core.
Tony took me on a rollercoaster ride of frustration that left me sweaty and
ragged and begging for relief; which, of course, he adamantly refused.

I made an inward vow to never try and drive him out of his
mind again. Tony achieved release twice before he allowed me to come. When he
finally relented, I shattered into a billion shards of pulsating glass. Sated
and boneless, I melted against his hot body. Tony had proven that hell hath no
fury like a Master tormented by his sub.

Hours later, Tony pampered me with wine, cheese, and fruit.
Little did I know he was merely re-charging my batteries for round two, three
and—rousting me from sleep in the early dawn—four.

#

When we finally woke the next morning, Tony sent me to
shower to get ready for the meeting at Reed’s office while he fixed breakfast.
The pancakes were fluffy and light, but once inside my stomach, they sat like a
load of bricks. My nerves were working overtime, leaving me feeling unsure and
jittery. Fingering the silver collar at my throat, a subtle sense of peace
sprinkled over me. Whatever information the FBI sought, I knew I’d get through
the inquisition with Tony by my side.

The drive to Reed’s office was quiet. I glanced at the
commanding man beside me concentrating on the road. Tony was lost in thought,
no doubt mulling over the same billion what if’s I did. But once inside Reed’s
masculine office, I felt a shift in Tony’s demeanor. He seemed more relaxed –
or at least I’d hoped so. But when Reed’s secretary opened the door and a tall
man with greying temples wearing a dark blue suit stepped inside, there was
enough electricity in the air to light all of Las Vegas.

Reed stood and rounded his big ornately carved desk, and
just as he extended his hand to the man in the blue suit, Matt entered behind
him and shut the door.

Blinking twice, my eyes grew wide. I launched from my chair
and raced to the corner behind Reed’s desk. Shrinking into the crook between
the wall and his book shelf, erratic bursts of air vibrated from the back of my
throat as my heart slammed against my ribs.

Tony jumped from his chair, rushing toward me as Reed turned
with a confused expression.

“What the hell?” Tony barked, jerking a glance over his
shoulder before turning a concerned look at me. Worry filled his eyes. “
Leagh
, what’s wrong?”

“M… M… Matt,” I stuttered, peering over Tony’s wide shoulder
at the man I thought was dead. A pained expression wrinkled his face at my
reaction to him.

Tony spun around and stormed toward Matt. “Matthew Price?
You son of a bitch! How dare you come in here and scare the living shit out of
her like that? What the hell are you up to now, mother fucker?”

“What the fuck?” Reed thundered, sidling up next to Tony.
“Get the hell out of my office!”

“Easy, you two.”
The man in the
blue suit held up his palms in surrender. “If you’ll all just take a seat, I
can explain.”

“Explain what?” Tony shouted to the man before turning his
full fury toward Matt. “Is he some hired thug posing as FBI so you can get to
Leagh
? If you think I’m going to let you take her out of
this office, you’re fucking crazy! The only way you’ll get to her is through
me. So if you’re here for her, asshole; bring it.”

“Wait,” Matt sighed and shook his head. “No, that’s not why
I’m here.”

“Mister, what is your name?” The man in the blue suit asked
as he stepped in front of Matt, trying like hell to calm the wild animal
who
looked ready to rip both their heads off, Tony.

“Tony
Delvaggio
.”

“
Delvaggio
?”
The FBI agent repeated with an inquisitive stare. “I know of an Enzo
Delvaggio
out on the west coast. You’re not related to him
by any chance are you?”

“I’m his nephew. Who the hell are you?”

“Huh,” the man in the blue suit grunted.
“Interesting.
I’m Special Agent Jonathan Rizzo.”

“Special agent for what division?”
Tony pressed.

“WITSEC,” the agent replied. “Now if we can all just sit
down, calm down, I’ll explain why we’re here.”

A string of obscenities rolled off Tony’s tongue as he
returned to me and pulled me in his arms. “What’s
WIT
..whatever
?” I whispered.

“Witness protection,” he murmured.

“I’m not going into witness protection for you or anyone
else,” I snapped at Matt. “I’ve spent the last six years looking over my
shoulder. I won’t do it anymore. I finally got a taste of what my life could be
like over the past few days when I thought you were dead.”

Tears burned my eyes as I looked at Tony. “They were the
best damn days of my entire life.” Pinning Matt with a taunting glare, I sucked
in a deep breath. “So if you’re here to kill me, then just do it now and get it
over with.

“Relax, Miss Bennett. No one is here to hurt you. Mr. Price
requested this meeting. I’ll let him explain. But first, I’d like to thank you,
Judge
Landes
for allowing us your and Miss Bennett’s
time. I’m sure once Mr. Price has explained everything; all the
misunderstandings will be cleared up.”

Reed begrudgingly shook Special Agent Rizzo’s hand as Tony
led me to a chair far away from Matt. Once seated, Tony wrapped a protective
arm around me. I could feel his heart pounding in his chest, keeping time with
mine own. The whole damn thing seemed so surreal I wondered if it were just a
bad dream and I’d wake up any second.

“That’s all good and fine, Special Agent Rizzo, but if you
don’t mind, I’d like to see your ID. Considering the history of my client in
regard to Mr. Price, I’m sure you understand.” Leave it to Reed, suave and
sophisticated even when shoving a condescending knife in a guy’s gut.

A bitter smile played over Special Agent Rizzo’s lips as he
pulled out his badge and handed it to Reed.

“Thank you. You may take a seat.” Reed extended his hand at
the vacant chairs and flashed me a wary look before he sat down behind his big
desk.

All eyes turned to Matt, who seemed suddenly nervous, his
face ashen white. He opened his mouth only to close it again, swallowing what
seemed a basketball lodged in his throat.

“First of all… kill you? I never want
any
harm to come to you, honey. You’re like a
daughter to me. Why did you think…Never mind. I know why you thought I’d come
after you. I’m sorry. I came here to tell you I’m so sorry for what I put you
through.”

My panic ebbed, but my temper spiked. I tried to bolt from
the chair, but Tony’s sturdy arm held me in my seat.

“You’re sorry? You’re sorry?” I screeched.
“You son of a bitch!
I’ve been waiting for you to find me
since I was twenty years old. My head filled with visions of you stepping out
from some dark alley and putting a bullet in my heads or breaking in while I
was asleep and putting a pillow over my face to suffocating me to death.”

“No. No. No.” Matt shook adamantly shook his head. “Honey, I
could never do that to you. Please, let me explain.”

My body shook and I sucked in a deep breath. Tony held me
tighter, and I issued a curt nod toward Matt.

“I came here to ask for your forgiveness, so I need to start
at the beginning. Some of this you’re not going to want to hear, and I’m sorry,
but you need to know. It might make some sense to you when I’m done.” Matt
scrubbed a hand over his face, and as he lowered his hand to the table, I
noticed he was shaking.

“I can handle it. Go ahead.”

Matt chuckled softly and looked up at me. Funny, he didn’t
look like a monster, just a troubled old man whose eyes still reflected love
when he gazed at me. “I know you can. You’re a strong young woman.”

I made a noise in the back of my throat. He was the one who
had forced me to grow the rigid backbone, but I bit back that snarky retort.

“Twenty-eight years ago, your dad was out of town on a
business trip. I dropped by to check in on your mom. This was long before they
became so immersed in the church. She was wild and carefree, happy and full of
life.”

The woman he described was in no way, shape, or
form
the woman that had raised me, but I let him go on.

“There’d always been this underlying current between us that
we tried to ignore, but that day…” Matt exhaled loudly. “It was a one-time
thing, and she was so overwrought with guilt she threw herself into the church,
hoping that God would forgive what she couldn’t. I’ve always blamed myself for
stealing her zest for life. I tried to apologize to her once, but she told me if
I ever mentioned the affair to her again, I wouldn’t be welcome in her home. So
I didn’t. When you were born, she said it was a sign from God that he’d
forgiven her sins. Unfortunately, she never was able to forgive herself or me.”

“You had an affair with my mom, and she turned into a
pseudocult
member of the church, dragging my dad along with
her? I get that you feel responsible for that, but none of that explains… why
are you here with an agent from witness protection, Matt?” My tone was arctic.
It was the only defense I could pluck from within that wasn’t suffused in rage,
hurt, and betrayal. Just the thought of my mother being a loving, happy woman
at one time made tears sting my eyes.

“I couldn’t handle the guilt much better,
Leagh
. Not long after you were born, I started using
cocaine, but I soon realized I could make a hell of a lot of money distributing
the stuff rather than using it. That’s when I started building my empire,” Matt
snorted sarcastically. “After nearly twenty years, I’d amassed billions of
dollars and was among the ranks of the biggest drug lords in the world. Guns,
drugs, sex slaves, I had my hands in it all.”

I closed my eyes and swallowed the urge to vomit.

“When I came home and found that you’d left me, the silence
drove me insane. I missed your laughter and your vibrant spirit…you were gone
and so was my chance at redemption. I knew then what I needed to do, but still
I couldn’t find the guts to do it. So I continued to deal with the devils in
hopes that I could fill the void inside me. But it didn’t work, so a year
later, I picked up the phone, met with the FBI, and cut a deal. I handed over
names, locations, quantities, and a list of murders I’d committed. In return,
they granted me immunity and witness protection. With my videotaped testimony
from numerous safe houses, they were able to bring down most of the bigger
players and corrupted government officials I’d been associated with.”

The room was silent. Tony’s thumb circled my shoulder in
constant reminder that I wasn’t alone. I knew in my heart he would always be by
my side, supporting me.
My
rock.
A sense of renewed strength filled me.

“I can’t take back the things I’ve done or the lives I’ve
destroyed. When I saw you on the news, I called Special Agent Rizzo and begged
him to set up this meeting. I had to see you and tell you how very sorry I am.
Not only for what I subjected you to but for taking away the woman your mom
used to be. Don’t worry,
Leagh
. I’m not holding onto
the pipe dream that you’ll ever forgive me, but I hope you understand how
important it was for me to apologize to you. I never meant to fuck up your
life.”

When Matt was done, I didn’t know what to say. Part of my
heart was breaking in two for the pain and guilt enveloping him. But my mind
was screaming that he’d done it all this to himself, and I was nothing more
than collateral damage over the bad choices he’d made. Could I forgive him? I
didn’t know.

Tony cleared his throat. “Coming here to confess everything
was very difficult for you.”

“Yes,” Matt whispered.

“I think
Leagh
understands that.
But I also think she’s going to need some time to digest it all. Don’t you
agree?” Tony asked.

“Without a doubt.
I didn’t come
here today expecting a heartfelt reunion,” Matt explained, looking at me once
again. “Hell, I honestly didn’t expect you’d even listen to me. I’m relieved
and very happy that you did. I understand why you thought I’d hurt you, but as
god is my witness, I’d never physically harm you,
Leagh
.
It breaks my heart that my stupid choices have caused you so much pain.”

His tortured expression almost made me weep. By confessing
his deeds, Matt tore down the walls I’d erected blocking childhood memories of
the man. Not only had he bought me my first bike, but he ran alongside me to
make sure I didn’t fall and scrape my knee, teaching me to ride it. When I got
invited to my first high school dance, he snuck me out of the house and took me
dress shopping. When I tried on the coral colored formal, Matt’s eyes sparkled,
and he’d kept telling me how beautiful I looked, over and over. He’d even
insisted on buying the dress for me and showed up at the house the night of the
dance to take pictures, like a preening father.

Tony had been right. I’d built Matt up to be a horrific
monster in my mind. And I let the image feed my fears, so thoroughly,
convincing myself that I’d lived with a maniacal Jekyll and Hyde that I’d
erased all the happy times and unconditional love he’d showered upon me.

“I appreciate you arranging this meeting and telling me the
things you did today, Matt,” I hesitantly began. “Maybe, in time, I can forgive
you. Over the years, I let my imagination run wild, but I still have nightmares
of blood on my hands, and… hopefully, they’ll go away now.”

“Oh, god, honey, I’m sorry. I never meant for that to happen…
I panicked. Never in a million years did I want you exposed to the shit I was
involved in. But when I saw you come around the corner with that bucket, I took
that as a sign of acceptance. That you were committed to me, even the dark,
ugly parts I never wanted you to see. I’m sorry I’ve ruined your life the way I
have. I’m so fucking sorry.” Tears brimmed in his eyes

“Please, stop saying you’re sorry, Matt. I feel your
remorse. I do. But I’m so overwhelmed right now. I…I do want to thank you for
taking me in and standing by me when I lost Nathan. I loved you more than I did
my own parents.”

Matt closed his eyes and hung his head. Tears dripped from
his cheeks and his shoulders shook in silent sobs. After several long moments,
he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, wiped his face, and lifted his head.

“I know I have no right to ask anything of you,
Leagh
, but would you please make an appointment to talk to
someone… a professional who can help you past the damage I’ve caused you?”

I chuckled softly and darted a glance at Tony. “I’m already
seeing someone.”

“Good. Good.” Matt nodded. “I am, too, and it’s helping.
He’s the catalyst behind me coming here to see you.”

“I think, in time, you’re both going to be just fine,” Tony
announced with a soft smile.

Special Agent Rizzo turned to Matt. “Is there anything else
you need to say?”

“No,” Matt replied somberly. “I’m sorry doesn’t come close
to what I carry in my heart, but hopefully you know that now,
Leagh
.”

“I do.” I nodded.

“Judge
Landes
, thank you for allowing
us this visit,” Special Agent Rizzo announced as he stood and shook Reed’s hand
once more.

“It’s been my pleasure to facilitate this for both
Leagh
and Matt,” Reed replied.

When Matt stood, I gave Tony’s leg a slight squeeze and rose
from my chair. On trembling legs, I walked up to Matt and wrapped my arms
around him. A mournful wail gurgled from the back of his throat as he pulled me
to his chest. Openly sobbing, he hugged me tight for a long time as tears
spilled down my face.