Morning Star (32 page)

Briefly he referred to the death of the Higbee child, and then said, “The time of the endowments in the temple is drawing nigh. The sad death this past week shows the importance of this ordinance. When the parents of a child have been sealed in the temple, their posterity is secured. For all eternity this child is theirs, saved through the virtue of the covenant of the father.”

Jenny was still mulling over that information when the Prophet moved on, proclaiming, “I received information which indicates that Sidney Rigdon has given oath to Governor Carlin of Missouri to bind over my life to the Missourians. At this time, I desire to withdraw the hand of fellowship from Sidney Rigdon, and I put this up to the vote of the people.”

A rustle of indignation spread through the audience. Catcalls accompanied the lifting of hands. Joseph acknowledged their remarks with a smile and continued, “We've voted unanimously to remove his name, and we will revoke his license. I will advise you that, regardless of the schemer's plans, all the powers of hell or earth together cannot put down this old boy. I have promises from the eternal God.”

John Mark awakened when the shouting began. Jenny was juggling him into quietness when Joseph began talking about the Melchizedek priesthood. “The sectarians have never professed to have the priesthood. In consequence, it is impossible for them to save anyone. They'll all be damned together. Only the priesthood gives power for endless lives.”

He paused, and bending forward, said, “I will remind you of the power of the priesthood. You know the sacrifice of Abraham. These everlasting covenants cannot be broken! When God gives knowledge or blessing to a man and he refuses to accept, he shall be damned.”

Service was over. Jenny got to her feet, stumbling as she followed Mark. Those words filled her mind. John Mark didn't have a chance to even begin to earn his position in the eternities unless his daddy would accept Joseph's way.

****

“Jenny, what are you thinking?”

“Oh . . .” Jenny blinked against the sunshine and looked up at Mark. The Sabbath day was nearly over. John Mark was still napping while the two of them leaned over the pasture fence.

“That the world is beautiful and that I love our farm.” How conscious she was of evading the real thoughts, even as she turned to glance up at him!

She was aware of his eyes, with those curious flecks of color, watching her. Watching them, aware of their candor, she realized how often in these past weeks Mark had gently probed, urging her to talk. She began to giggle.

“What's that about?”

“I was thinking back to some of the silly talking we've been doing in the past weeks.”

“About the girls who are trying to entrap Tom?”

“And the new fall fashions and whether poke bonnets should be allowed in the temple.”

Mark's grin faded, “Like the unimportant.”

The breeze swept a yellow leaf past Jenny and she whispered, “What, Mark? What is it you want—a piece of my soul?”

“Is that too much?”

“It is until I understand it myself.”

“You've changed, you know. I find myself wondering.”

She searched his face, not daring to ask:
for good or bad?
She simply said, “All of life is changing. It's nearly autumn. The tourists have gone. Joseph's church is still fumbling and restless. The Saints will soon be worshiping in the temple. There will be new teachings, the endowments.” She was still watching him as he turned away.

Softly now she said, “Do you realize, Mark, even between us there's so much that
can't
be said? We had new teaching today. Joseph said that if we're to be having little John Mark for eternity, if he's even to have a chance at eternity, you must fulfill the requirements of the gospel. There must be endowment.”

He turned away, “I'm sorry, Jenny. When a person doesn't believe, he can't live a lie—even for the dearest person on earth.”

Jenny contemplated the pasture, the brilliance of the day. All too soon the bronze, copper and gold of autumn would be here, and then the snow. Where were their lives together leading them? She couldn't face that answer.

The peeled log railing of the fence had whitened with age. She ran her hand over the smooth surface, wondering how long it would be until the smoothness turned to slivers.

“So?”

“See, so smooth now. You peel back the bark and it's vulnerable, Mark, like us. How long before it all turns to splinters?” Watching she realized, in the darkening of his eyes, there was pain in the unprobed depths of her husband. Deeply she felt the answer from her own heart even as she bit her lips and turned away.

He held out his arms, and in them she was conscious of passion drowned in a desire for union deeper than physical. It must be the call for endowment. Her sigh was as heavy as she felt. When he finally dropped his arms, she heard his sigh of regret. “We'd better see if the tyke is awake.”

That evening, when Mark stepped into the circle of her lamplight, he asked, “What are you reading?”

She brought her thoughts back and lifted her face. “The Bible. Mark, what is God's love?”

He came into the light and sat down. “I suppose what we see of God and understand as love. Salvation instead of what we deserve. Even just holding the world together. If He were to take away His hand, we'd disappear. Certainly considering sin and disobedience, we don't deserve more than that. But He handles us very gently. This should bring us running into His love. I guess God's love is a place where we are to dwell.”

In a moment he quoted, “‘But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.' Jenny, this chapter in Romans says we're justified by faith, not works like Joseph says. It tells us this is a free gift.”

She knew he saw her trembling hands. As she shook her head he stopped abruptly. “Mark, it sounds so nice, but I am afraid. Now there's another one to fear for. The fear sends me running; I'll be faithful to my church to the best of my ability. I'll also work to bring some of these teachings of the Bible into our church. We need the best of both. But, please don't ask me to give up the security of this. I've already given up so much.”

She saw the curiosity in his eyes and braced herself to answer the words which she had unintentionally let slip.

“Do you regret it?”

Jenny caught her breath. It wasn't what she had expected. He meant unsaid things they had never talked about. The craft. For a moment she looked at Mark, seeing clearly how much he had comprehended even while he held his silence. She whispered, “No, never. I've traded ugliness for God's church.” Mark turned away and Jenny returned to the Book.

She bent her head over it. “It says here in John that a man who doesn't love Jesus doesn't obey His teaching.” Looking out the window, she asked, “Do you suppose Joseph doesn't know about that verse?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Because I sense so much of fear and fighting in him. Seems it's in him more than the rest of us.”

He sat down beside her, and she felt his excitement. “You've caught that? What else have you seen?”

“I'm thinking of a verse, a question. ‘Are you foolish? After beginning with the spirit, are you made perfect by works?' Then it goes on to say it was faith that saved Abraham, not doing, and that no man is justified by the law—yet this very day, Joseph talked about the
sacrifice
of Abraham.”

She studied her hands for a moment, then said, “There's more. It says if you're led by the spirit, you're not under law. Mark, does it possibly mean even the type of law in the church—all the doing and . . .”

She couldn't finish. Mark took her hands and pulled her close. “Jen—” He stopped. She saw the joyful expression on his face fade. Then caution swept over his features as he carefully said, “Even Joseph couldn't object to the reading and learning you are doing. One of these days he'll have to allow us to do some thinking on our own.”

Now she was brave enough to try the verse. “Mark, there's something else. I think it's a verse even you don't know about.”

“What does it say?”

“That in Jesus there isn't such as Jew or Greek, even men and women—we're all the same.”

“I know about it.”

“Then you see what it means. Oh, Mark, I can hardly believe it!”

“That Jesus Christ doesn't see you as less than me?”

She frowned and regarded him thoughtfully for a moment before slipping away from her original intention into the other thought the verse held. Slowly she said, “No, Mark, I was thinking of the baptism. Joseph teaches that baptism changes all of us who aren't the literal descendants of the children of Israel, so that we have their Jewish blood in our veins.”

When Jenny slowly followed Mark up the stairs to their bedroom, she was wistfully thinking of the verse, wondering why she couldn't push aside that amazing thought.
All are alike in Jesus' eyes. All have the same rights—to enjoy eternity, without having a man take them there
.

What would Mark think of that? And what about having a man look at her with respect in his eyes, as if what she had to say was important?

As Jenny slipped into bed beside Mark, she saw the expression in his eyes and paused. Sometimes she felt as if Mark might feel that way. But what would he say right now if she were to pound her pillow and demand he say what he was thinking?

Chapter 32

“What is the mystery of God, of Christ?” Jenny pondered as she slowly turned the pages in her Bible. “In here there's talk about the hidden wisdom which God set up before He created the world. Oh, what does this mean? ‘Which none of the princes of this world knew: for had they known it, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory.' Why? There's something here so big, and I can't understand it!”

She sat staring at the Book. “The Lord of glory, that's Jesus Christ.” As she read further, the puzzle became more complex. When she put aside the Book and started her morning tasks, she mulled over the words which had dropped into her mind. “Eyes haven't seen and ears haven't heard. God has prepared great things for us who love Him! That means even Joseph doesn't know—or does he?”

Those who love God
. Did she love God? What did that mean? Joseph didn't talk about
doing
because of love. He talked about earning eternal life by the righteousness of deeds.

Later as Jenny bathed John Mark and dressed him, a verse jumped into her mind whole, impossible to forget. At the most unexpected moments it bounded into her thoughts. “‘Now we have received, not the spirit of the world,'” she murmured, “‘but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God.'” As she sat down to feed the baby, she considered the words that followed: “‘So the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit because they are foolish to him. Spiritually discerned.' That's why Joseph is so far above us.”

It was afternoon when Jenny carried the sleeping infant to the buggy. Feeling the sweet weight of him brought tears to her eyes. She squeezed him tight and he flung a tiny arm against her. When she bent to kiss the hand, her tears dampened it.

When Jenny reached Joseph's office, Clayton was just leaving. He closed the door carefully and said, “Mark isn't here right now. He's made a trip to Carthage today.”

“I know. It's Joseph I want to see.” The man looked uneasy and Jenny explained, “It's religious counsel.” He reddened.

Joseph opened the door. “Come in, Jenny.” His eyes brightened, and for just one moment Jenny remembered the last time she had been alone with him.

“I need instruction,” she said loudly as she entered. She heard the shuffle of feet as Clayton went back to his office. Joseph closed the door and motioned for Jenny to be seated.

“Your sermon. About sealing for posterity's sake.”

“Yes, what about it?”

She bit her lip. “Mark won't. He says he doesn't believe in it. What shall I do?”

“Jenny, you don't understand the teachings. You've already been sealed to me. When there's a sealing for eternity, the offspring of the wife is automatically credited to the spiritual mate. Your baby belongs to me for all eternity.”

The facts lined up in Jenny's mind as she looked at Joseph. John Mark was safe for all eternity. He would have an opportunity for eternal progression, under Joseph. John Mark no longer belonged to Mark; in the sight of God he was Joseph's baby.

She could only stare at Joseph as he leaned back in his chair and made a tent of his fingers. His face was pulled down into a troubled frown. “However, Jenny, I must remind you. Our marriage, with all the rights attested to it, still awaits validation. Until it is consummated, your little one is no better off than an infidel.”

John Mark pulled her finger into his mouth and began to suck on it. As she stared down at him, he grinned and waved a pudgy fist. Her heart sank. “Joseph, I must think some more.”

She rose to leave. He was still watching and she thought of all she had been saving to ask him. Slowly Jenny said, “I've had so many questions. You are our contact with God. The spirit tells you, and the rest of us only wonder.”

“Perhaps you'd understand better if you were to obey the light you have. Jenny, you are not obedient to the gospel.”

“The Bible says the blood of Jesus frees us from things the law couldn't. What?”

“The crucifixion purchases resurrection from the dead. This is for all people.”

“Is that all?”

“Yes. It is only through obedience to the true church that we have the right to the highest heaven and all that implies: kingdoms, godhood, eternal progress. It makes the troubles we endure down here seem insignificant, doesn't it?”