One Direction: Dare to Dream: Life as One Direction (5 page)

THE NEXT STEP

Trying out for
The X Factor
for a second time was really nerve-wracking because now I wanted it more than ever. Some friends and family members were even a bit worried about me going for it, in case I got let down again, but I knew I had
to try, whatever happened. I desperately wanted to get a yes from Simon and prove how far I’d come since the last time I was on the show. I’d grown up so much since I was last there.

LOOKING MY BEST FOR GO-KARTING

Getting through to Bootcamp was just amazing, but then finding out I hadn’t made it to Judges’ Houses was crushing. I honestly thought that was the end of everything and I was so upset. So to get the second chance like we did left me virtually speechless. I was the only one of the guys who really had to think about whether or not it was a good idea to become a band. I’d been working as a solo artist for so long that I couldn’t imagine not doing that, but as soon as I made the decision to go for it I knew I’d done the right thing.

I was quite nervous about going to Harry’s stepdad’s house, because obviously none of us guys knew each other, so to be thrown together like that and have to get to know each other so quickly was a bit scary. We’re all quite different as well, so we did bicker occasionally. I had lots of friends at school, but they weren’t all that outgoing, and Louis is so outgoing that at first I was a bit wary of him. He’s a big influence on everyone in the band because he’s the eldest and he has a sense of leadership, so he’ll take charge of emails or phone calls from management. I’m more on the creative side, so I think we both want to take the lead in different ways, which meant it took us a bit longer to bond. We get on brilliantly now, though. As soon as we were honest with each other it worked, and we’ve ended up being really close friends.

We had such a laugh that week. We were all staying in a bungalow and we’d spend the days in the swimming pool or watching TV. We told ourselves that we were rehearsing, but we didn’t really know what we were doing. We’d sit around and sing what we thought were harmonies and try out different songs, but really that week was more about us getting used to each other than anything else.

We’ve all changed so much since those days at Harry’s house. We’re growing up around each other in a way, and because I spend so much time with Niall I do an Irish accent these days without even noticing!

Going out to Judges’ Houses in Spain was another big learning curve for us, because we got to know each other even better. We went out there to do our best and work as hard as we could to get through. Looking back, that week went so quickly and so much happened that I can barely remember everything we did, but I remember coming back feeling incredible.

We all went back home briefly before moving into the contestants’ house. Then it was time to go again, and I remember my dad looking at me and saying, “Whatever you do, don’t come back before Christmas.” He wanted us to go all the way.

It was strange to be packing up and leaving home, knowing I could potentially be away for a few months or more. Also, a lot of the other contestants we were going to be sharing a house with were still strangers to us, which meant I was going to be working and living in very close quarters with people I didn’t know.

Even sharing a room with the other guys was a bit of a shock. The room was tiny, and we spent all day together too. We all found little ways to have some time to ourselves, and that was very important. I used to get in and go straight to bed, but the other guys used to stay up a lot later, so I was always telling them off for waking me up. But I’ve honestly never met four harder-working guys. There was nothing we refused to do. Every time we were asked to do filming or interviews or anything we never said no, because we were determined.

It was good fun sharing the house with other people but, as I said, they were strangers, so it was a case of getting to know loads of new people. Apart from the other guys I got on best with Rebecca and Matt, and I still get on really well with them now.

For me, needless to say, the highlight of being on
The X Factor
was meeting Robbie Williams. He’s one of the big reasons that I’m doing this now, so even just having my picture taken with him was amazing. I thanked him and told him that if it wasn’t for him I probably wouldn’t be in the show, and he seemed chuffed by that and was really humble about it. He admitted that he never knows what to say when people tell him they like him, because he’s just doing his thing, but it meant a lot to him to hear it. He gave us great advice about staying down to earth, and he made so much sense.

Meeting Michael Bublé was brilliant as well. He was such a nice guy and as easy to talk to as anyone else you’d meet. It was such a buzz that he knew who we were as well. Imagine knowing Michael Bublé had watched you perform on the show!

Getting down to the final three in the show was amazing, but of course we were massively disappointed when we didn’t win. We were completely happy with our performance of “Torn” though, so at least we’d done all we could.

We were standing on stage with Matt and Rebecca, and they called Matt’s name out first. Then they called Rebecca’s and we were so deflated. We hadn’t experienced that situation before, because our name had always been called out on the right side when the votes came in. When I watched it back on TV it seemed like Dermot waited ages to read out Rebecca’s name, but when I was there it felt like no time at all.

As soon as Dermot reads out Rebecca’s name you can see all of our faces drop, and our fans in the audience kind of slumped. It wasn’t that we believed the hype when people said we were going to win, but we couldn’t help but hope.

Even when we were standing on the stage watching our best bits, knowing we hadn’t got through, I couldn’t help smiling. We’d had such an amazing time and
I kind of knew in the back of my mind that there was more to come. All the other guys were absolutely gutted, but I had a feeling that we’d be okay.

Seeing the video of all the things we’d done made me realize how far we’d come and how we’d made things work. We were thrown together and we worked so hard, doing a lot of things off our own bat, so even though we didn’t win I felt so proud of us and I knew we were capable of going on to so much more.

I kept thinking back to those days in the bungalow right at the beginning of the competition, and it seemed like such a giant leap to be standing on that stage in the final. We hadn’t even expected to get through Judges’ Houses, so to make it all that way was amazing. At the end of the day I was deeply disappointed that we lost, but I was happy with how well we’d done overall.

Backstage afterwards there were a lot of tears, but even though I’d cried before when I didn’t get through at Bootcamp, I didn’t actually cry in that moment. I guess I didn’t really know how I should feel. I’d been on a TV show for the past ten weeks, singing in front of 20 million people, and it was exactly what I’d always wanted to do. I felt like at least I’d got the chance to do it. But of course I was wondering whether we’d get a record deal, or whether this was the end of the road for us. I kept thinking about other people who hadn’t won and who had done well anyway. Diana Vickers came fourth—and look at where she is now.