Authors: Dahlia Rose
He understood her meaning and respected her for stating it.
“That’s why I’m coming to you for…um…. help,” he said. “Please.”
“You don’t ask for anything too often do you?” Karen said knowingly.
“No.”
“I’ll meet you. How about the diner across from the precinct?” Karen said.
“Is six okay? We’ve got training for new SWAT recruits all day,” Max said.
“That works. Benita will be here for the night shift with the ladies and I’ll be heading home to Mr. Brady. See you then,” Karen replied.
“Thanks.”
Max hung up the phone and picked up his bag to head to the training center. Mr. and Mrs. Brady. He chuckled softly to himself. He’d take that as a lucky sign because he needed all the help he can get. He could face a gunman or a hostage situation, and he was trained to react to various forms of terrorism with ease. Trying to get a woman with a child to accept him seemed like climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. But since he’d met Nicole, she was in his dreams each night. He never walked away from a challenge and didn’t plan to start now.
It was a hard workout they put the recruits through, but Max and his unit trained with it as well. It wasn’t a stand-and-yell-orders, but hands on training. His method was a kind of we-do-it-now-show-us-you-can-do-just-as-good-as-us kind of scenario. There were ten new recruits and they were only going to pick two. Max had already scoped out who they would be, and Jones agreed. The two at the top of the pack were a woman and a guy, both in peak fitness who rated off the charts in written testing. He knew there would be griping when he picked the woman. It wasn’t a minority issue, she was just damn good and would fit in well with the team. She had training in victim psychology that was an asset, especially after the women’s shelter incident. After a long day he had twenty minutes to get showered and changed before he met Karen at the diner. He was there with five minutes to spare before she came through the door. He never had his back to a door, an old cop rule, so he saw when she entered. Max held up his hand to show her where he was sitting and she walked over with a smile.
“Hey Max, how was the day?” Karen slid into the booth seat.
“Long, tiring, the usual,” he answered. “Would you like something to eat or drink?”
“No thanks, I eat at home with the hubby in a few,” Karen said. “Don’t let me stop you though.”
“It’s okay.” Max thrummed his fingers against the table and blurted, “I want to ask Nicole out, but she’s coming off a bad run, new mom, and I feel like I’d scare her to death. But I feel something, you know? I looked at her and her baby and somehow it feels like they’re supposed to be mine. Which is unusual, because I’ve never been inclined to thinking about family life, let alone this. I’m a street kid. I raised myself so I’m tough around the edges. How do I show her my feelings without scaring the crap out of her?”
Karen blew out a breath and smiled. “All that, huh?”
He gave a swift nod. “I guess that’s it.”
“Max, let me be blunt. She was beaten even while she was pregnant,” Karen said gently.
“And if the guy wasn’t locked up I’d be kicking his ass,” Max practically growled.
“By that statement I assume you’ve read the report, the arrest record, and figured out she turned him in,” Karen stated.
“Yes.”
Karen gave him a curious look. “I’m sure you could find other dates, other conquests. I don’t want to see Nicole hurt.”
Max gave her a direct stare. “I’m not that kind of guy and but you don’t know me from a hole in the wall. I understand you are looking out for a friend and client, but if I felt I would cause her more pain I wouldn’t be meeting you here right now. I want to do this right and that’s why I’m asking what to do.”
“Be patient, be kind, and be gentle,” Karen stated. “If you hurt her I will personally rip your cock off and throw it under the A-train at rush hour.”
He winced. “Ouch, understood.”
“Nicole is strong and stubborn, even after all she’s been through,” Karen explained. “This isn’t going to be easy and I want you to know you are fighting an uphill battle, especially being the first guy to show interest after her abusive relationship. It will be hard for her to trust and she will question everything and anything. In any new relationship after abuse the victim tends to want to take the dominant, almost bullying role, so they don’t get hurt again. The slightest infraction is going to be ‘my way or the highway buddy I don’t need you.’ That’s not healthy but it does happen. I do believe that she needs to move past Derek and she needs someone strong. To show her ‘hey you don’t need to beat me up, I’m not Derek.’ That may be you and if you’re not up to the challenge it’s best you don’t even try.”
Max met her gaze readily and said with firm assurance, “I’m more than up to the challenge.”
Karen took his hand and squeezed it. “I think you are, now it’s time for me to go home to the mister and have dinner.”
“Thank you, Karen. I really appreciate this,” Max said gratefully.
“No thanks necessary, I’m looking out for both of you,” Karen said. “Don’t go to her place unless invited, she will be very sensitive about her space, her things. She will need more counseling and if you make it to the couple stage so will you, both of you together, and some things about your own demons may come out. Like I said, an uphill battle. Bye Max.”
Max raised his hand in a small wave. “Bye Karen, and thank you again.”
He watched her as she walked through the door and into the New York night, all the while continuing to ponder everything she said. Eventually he got up and shrugged on his beat up leather jacket before stepping out of the diner and heading home.
Should I let her make the first move?
he thought and decided against it. She may never make a move and he’d be on pins and needles waiting for her to call. No, he’d make the first move and keep everything Karen said in mind. In his gut he knew this was right and he hoped that she would feel the same way too. It would suck if he were falling in love all by himself.
Ten days had passed since she got out of the hospital. Nicole sat in her apartment and looked around the space. It had all her old stuff, and she was sitting on the sofa she bought years ago. Derek said her things were trashy and commercial and wanted her to throw them out. She instead had put them in storage, paying for it every month in secret. The afghan she made was thrown over the lounge chair and in her hand she held one of the mugs she picked up from Target. Everything was hers and it felt good to be home, but she still felt unsettled. The TV was on and she was watching an X-Files episode. The baby was asleep in the bassinette. She set up the second bedroom as a nursery but she preferred him to be close by. Even in her bedroom his bassinette was right next to her bed. She was safe, Derek was in jail, but any little sound made her jump.
Fall in Staten Island meant the wind off the water would be making loose branches fall. When a tiny branch hit one of the windows she started and almost spilled her hot chocolate a few times.
Maybe I shouldn’t watch the X-Files
, she thought. The series was one of her favorite shows along with Law and Order and a multitude of crime shows. Nicole changed the channel to watch comedy sitcoms, but it didn’t work. She still felt antsy.
When will this feeling end?
she wondered miserably. A loud thump came from outside and she let out a scream. Jules woke and he began to cry. Nicole felt her own tears start and as she picked up the baby to soothe him she cried. Her eyes set upon the small rectangular card that Max gave her. She held the baby with one hand and picked up her cordless phone with the other. She dialed the number and after two rings a husky voice answered.
“Hello?”
“M-Maxwell, um this is Nicole Henry, I don’t know if you remember me?” She tried to hide the fact that she was crying. “Were you sleeping?”
“Nicole, I was… that’s not important, what’s wrong?” Max’s voice changed to instant alertness. “Why are you crying?”
“It’s nothing, I’m just being silly, but I heard noises outside and I’m sure it’s just like branches or something.” She took a breath. “I screamed and Jules started crying….”
“I can call Staten Island PD and send a car around,” Max offered.
“No… it’s late and they have stuff to do, I’m being ridiculous anyway.” She gave a watery laugh. “Tell me I’m being ridiculous, Jules is quieting down now.”
“You’re not being ridiculous, I don’t like scary noises either,” Max offered.
That made Nicole laugh. “You know that’s not true.”
“I know but it made you laugh and that’s what I wanted to hear,” he said. “I don’t want to invade your space, but do you want me to come there?”
“You’re in Manhattan, it’s too far away, but thank you,” she answered. “Hold on, let me put Jules back in his bassinette.” She made sure Jules was snug and then got back on the telephone. “Okay, I’m back.”
“Glad to hear it, and no it’s not too far away. I live in lower Manhattan, I can get to Staten Island in thirty minutes,” Max explained.
“There is no possible way to be here in that time from Manhattan,” Nicole pointed out.
“With lights and sirens I can, you want me there I’m there,” Max said firmly.
Nicole smiled. “No you can’t do that, you’ve more than likely had a hard day. I’ll let you go now so you can rest.”
“No, talk to me.” Max’s voice became a gentle timber. “What are you doing?”
“I was watching X-Files and got scared, then I tried to watch sitcoms.” Nicole chuckled. “I can’t do it.”
“Wanna know something?” Max said with a laugh. “I’m watching it too.”
“You’re an X-Files buff?” Nicole pulled her feet up under her like she was talking to an old friend.
“I wanted to be Mulder when I was a teenager,” Max admitted. “But then I joined the police force instead of the FBI.”
“I was going to be Scully except that I found me and blood aren’t a good fit,” Nicole said.
“Well, we can be them for Halloween,” he said.
“You plan on seeing me for Halloween?” Nicole asked.
“My friend Jones and his wife and kids put together this amazing bash each year, costumes and everything,” he explained and then cleared his throat. “You should go with me and we can dress Jules up as a baby duck or something.”
“A baby duck?” Nicole asked.
“Or a pumpkin,” Max said.
“I was thinking mini dalek or…”
“Dr. Who,” Max finished her sentence. “We seem to have a lot in common, television and book wise.”
“Shouldn’t we at least have dinner first before we dress my son up in some weird costume? I mean, we could be starting years of trauma if we dress him up to suit our viewing tastes.” Nicole couldn’t help the grin on her face. Just talking to Max made her feel lighter.
“Are you asking me out? Ms. Henry, I don’t know what to say,” Max teased.
“I–I mean, well I don’t know….” She felt her stomach clench with nervousness and fear.
“Ask me over for dinner, Nicole,” Max said softly. “We can talk about X-Files and if we think the twelfth doctor will work out.”
“Wait, there’s going to be a new doctor? Derek never let me…” Nicole stopped herself and shook her head. “I’m not going back to those memories.”
Max was quiet for a minute before he spoke. “You don’t have to go back to them Nicole, but you’re going to have to face them eventually.”
“When I’m ready,” Nicole said. “Come to dinner.”
“What time and what do I bring?” Max asked.
“Maybe some fresh bread for garlic toast?” Nicole said.
“What are you planning to make?” he asked.
“Homemade meatloaf, creamy mashed potatoes, corn on the cob and garlic toast…. unless you wanted biscuits?” Nicole said hastily. “I can make an apple pie.”
He was silent and Nicole said hesitantly, “Max?”
“I’m sorry, I was fantasizing about eating dinner tomorrow,” Max said. “I’ll get whatever you need, text me a list.”
She laughed. “I’m actually going to the store tomorrow, I can do the shopping. I just like the bread from Pietro’s bakery for garlic toast.”
“Well text me anyway so I have your cell number,” he encouraged softly. “And give me your address.”
“Okay, well goodnight Max, thank you for keeping me company on the phone,” Nicole said.
“Goodnight Nicole, see you tomorrow,” Max answered.
Nicole hung up and looked at the cordless phone in her hand before putting it back on the base. Fear and panic had made her call him and now she was having dinner with the police officer that saved her life and delivered her son. She turned off the television and checked the door of the apartment, making sure the locks were secured. On impulse, well not on impulse but her ritual since she moved in, she braced a chair she kept by the door under the lock. Nicole grabbed Max’s business card before she pushed the bassinette into her bedroom and once again went through the ritual of locking the door and barring it. She wondered if she would ever feel safe enough again to be able to go to bed and not get up to check the door and windows. Nicole got into bed and took her cell phone off the dresser table. Before texting him she saved his number as Maxwell “Tough Cop” in her phone and smiled as she looked at the number. She began to text him and her fingers moved across the touch screen of her cell quickly.
Hey Maxell, My address is 1243 Sand Dune Street. Do you need the zip code?
No, I know exactly where that is, friend lives over there, wait two streets over. 7 ok?
That’s fine, see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Maxwell.
You can call me Max you know.
I’m not a fan of nicknames. I’ll stick with Maxwell. Do you mind?
Not in the least, G’night Nicole.
Goodnight.
Nicole looked at the read out on her phone and smiled. How long had it been since she’d texted anyone and it made her smile? Too long, and it felt good, she was happy that something felt good for a change. Jules started to fuss again and she looked at the clock. Feeding time.
She took the baby from the bassinette. “Okay Mr. Jules, let’s get you fed.”
She kissed his cheeks and inhaled his fresh baby scent before she unbuttoned her shirt and put the baby to her breast. Sleep would be a half an hour later because Jules was hungry and drank from both breasts easily. When he was back to sleep, Nicole climbed into bed and pulled the covers up to her shoulders. She slept with a nightlight on and closed her eyes to the dim room. Jules would be up again in a few hours to nurse. Till then she hoped nightmares wouldn’t plague her and for once she’d be allowed to rest.
* * * *
Max stood outside of her door and let out a breath. In one hand he held a bunch of flowers and in the other a bag that held fresh bread.
Stop acting like a scared teen
, Max chastised himself. But inside he was a mass of nervous jitters. Jesus, when was the last time he’d been out on a date, let alone to a woman’s house? His last girlfriend was dating him and three other guys on the force, and Max wasn’t into sharing. He was jaded about love until he saw Nicole. Now here he was taking a leap with no clue how or where he would land. Finally, he knocked and waited for her to answer the door. She was wearing a pair of blue jeans and a loose pink sweater that looked so soft he wanted to touch it. Her tightly curled hair was pulled up on her head and tied with a blue band. She wore simple studs in her ears and when he looked down at her feet she was wearing Halloween orange socks. Max grinned at the sight she made. It was a beautiful one.
“Hi Maxwell, come in.” She smiled shyly and his heart ached in his chest.
He stepped into her apartment and held the flowers out to her. “Hi, these are for you. I didn’t know what you like, so they’re…”
“Tiger lilies,” she finished for him and plucked the other bag from his hand. “I take it this is the bread?”
“Pietro’s like you requested. I brought their fudge cookies as well,” Max answered.
“Oh bless you, I haven’t had one of those in ages,” Nicole exclaimed. “Close the door you’re letting the heat out.”
Max did as she requested and looked around her apartment. It was nice, warm and inviting with little trinkets that said a woman lived there. His walls were bare and apart from the essentials, he had no decorations. Why would he, there was no one else to see it, he lived alone and was hardly home anyway.
“Don’t stand at the door like you’re not welcome, sit anywhere you like,” Nicole invited. She walked over to the kitchen that was separated from the living by a simple bar with stools on one side for eating. Close by a table was set and on the other side of the room sat a desktop computer. Max assumed that was her work space and she made the small space versatile and still roomy.
“Where’s the baby?” Max asked. His stomach growled from the mouth-watering smells coming from the kitchenette.
“In the bassinette next to the sofa,” she answered from the kitchen.
Max looked into the blue portable crib and saw the baby was wide-awake and looking up at him. Even for two weeks old he’d filled out and was cute as ever.
“If he’s up you can hold him before he starts to fuss,” Nicole said. “It would help so I can finish dinner.”
“I should wash my hands,” Max said. The last time he’d held Jules, he’d liked it and had less apprehension at doing it again.
“There’s a half bathroom in the hallway,” Nicole said.
He went to wash his hands and noted that while her wall had pictures of cityscapes and nature scenes, there were none of family and friends. Max wondered if she was like him, raised in the system until it spit you out to sink or swim on your own. Usually the fight for survival was ingrained in parentless children living from foster homes to children’s homes. Where you had a few drawers for your own and anything you got you held onto with a fierce drive. No one gave you anything more than they had to and kindness made you wonder what they wanted in return. Although many of the children made it, even more were lost. If Nicole was one, just like he, Max knew that she would do everything in her power to make sure Jules never felt that kind of desolation and loneliness in his life. After he washed his hands he came back into the living room. Nicole still worked in the kitchen. He smelled garlic and bread toasting and his stomach almost did a cheer.
She looked up and smiled. “There are burp cloths in the bottom of the bassinette. Throw one over your shoulder before you lift him, he tends to spit up when he burps and he was fed recently.”
“I bet he’s probably loving his milk.” Max lifted the baby gently and put him over his shoulder. “Do you like your bottle, huh big guy, you’re heavier already.”
Nicole laughed. “He’s a guzzler that’s for sure, but he gets his milk straight from the breast.”
Max was unable to help the punch of arousal and ran through him at her simple comment. What would it feel like to hold her, touch her breasts, taste her nipples? The baby began to squirm and whimper and it took his mind off ravishing her naked body.
He looked at her in alarm. “What did I do wrong, what does he need?”
“Just pat his back lightly and he should burp,” she directed him. “He’s got a touch of colic so I’ll give him some gas drops in a minute.”
He did as instructed and soon a belch reverberated through the tiny body. Max laughed at the very manly burp that came from the baby. He carefully took him off his shoulder and laid him in his arms like he did the first time he held him. Jules’s eyes were open and Max swore the baby was looking at him and assessing his face. His hair was black curls and his skin tone matched Nicole’s. The baby yawned like he was bored and instead began to suck on his tiny knuckle as if it was more interesting than the man who held him. Max didn’t care, he was enamored with the tiny person he held, his tiny fingers and toes and the way he smelled. Instinct seemed to take over and he began to rock back and forth while giving Jules a gentle jiggle. He was so intent on what he was doing he didn’t see Nicole set the table and come to stand in front of him.
“Dinner is ready and this little man is asleep,” she said.
“Oh, wow,” Max said in amazement. “I did that?”
Nicole looked at him with amusement in her eyes. “Yes you did, good job. Now go sit at the table before dinner gets cold.”