Authors: Dahlia Rose
She took the baby and Max walked over to where she’d placed the meal. He’d never done anything like this, a quiet dinner at home, hell, putting a baby to sleep. The girls he dated tended to like a party more than motherhood. It was good for a few weeks, the drinks, the late nights, but it seemed like it was all they wanted to do. The party life got old quickly and the dating never went past a few weeks. He wanted more, but had no clue how achieve it. Maybe she was sent into his life for a reason, Max learned early never to look a gift horse in the mouth. Nicole and her son were the gift, but instead of accepting them he needed her to accept him.
She sat across from him and waved her hand over the food. “Help yourself, Maxwell.”
He didn’t need a second prompt. Max dug into the mashed potatoes with relish and closed his eyes at the first taste of meatloaf.
“Do I taste bacon in the meatloaf?” he asked after chewing.
Nicole nodded. “I saw it on one of the cooking shows. It has chopped bacon inside and on top. Do you like it?”
“Like it, I want to take it to Vegas and marry it,” Max teased.
Nicole giggled. “I don’t think that’s legal in the United States.”
Max shook his head somberly. “The love between a man and his meatloaf should not be restrained.”
They laughed together at the joke and went back to eating. Max wasn’t known for being funny, so he was even surprising himself.
“I take it you don’t eat a lot of home cooked meals?” she asked.
“I can cook but it doesn’t make much sense for me to make a big meal for myself. I eat take-out, or sometimes Jones’s wife takes pity on me and sends a Tupperware of food to work for me,” Max explained.
“Well now add me to the list, I love cooking and you can eat here anytime,” Nicole said. “Jules and I don’t mind sharing.”
“I think I may have until he can eat solid foods and gets teeth, then we’ll be competing for mom’s dinner,” he said.
“You’re going to compete for strained peas or apple sauce with bananas?” Nicole asked teasingly.
Max looked down at his dinner and then at Nicole and shook his head. “No, he can have that to himself.”
She took a bite of her food. “Well, you can take the rest of the pie home after dessert. I’ll only need a slice and I already packaged up the leftovers, you can have it for lunch or something tomorrow.”
“If you keep feeding me I’ll be in Staten Island all the time,” Max said.
“You have an open invitation,” she said.
He met her gaze. “I just might take you up on that offer.”
The rest of the conversation went from TV to books and books that were made into shows. He found she had a love for paranormal shows but not the fluffy kind, the ones with a deeper motive and a case to crack. Max made a mental note to buy her a gift that would feed her love of reading. She told him about her work in website design and building, her plans to go to school and start working in customer service, and she tried to explain coding to him. He was lost, but hearing her talk with such animation and love of her job kept him interested. Dinner went by and he helped clear the table and clean the dishes. In the close proximity in the tiny kitchen he was very aware of her body and the way she smelled, down to the shampoo scent of her hair. Max was not a man that noticed scents, hell he bought Irish Spring in the six-pack. But he could swear he smelled green apples and honey melon in her hair or that’s what it reminded him of. They had dessert in front of the TV and watched a really bad movie on the Chiller Channel.
“So basically these movies are saying that girls who go camping are stupid and end up dead,” Max said.
Nicole nodded. “That’s my take. Unless there are four walls, a bed, and barriers from nature, I’m not going out there. Don’t let me get started on my small town theory.”
Max laughed. “I can’t wait to hear this.”
Nicole shook her head. “We’ll save that for another time. This has been fun though, thank you.”
Max put his plate on the coffee table. “Is that my cue to leave?”
“I think so, I need to get some rest. Jules is up at three and then five a.m.,” Nicole said uncertainly. “I didn’t want to be rude. I’m still trying to figure out normal for us.”
He covered her hand with his own. “You’re not being anything, this is your home.”
“I’m still teaching myself that as well,” she admitted. “I was at the shelter with Karen for the last three months of my pregnancy because I was too scared to be anywhere else. I’d wake up screaming or fighting because I still felt threatened. Being out on my own again is like being on a trapeze without a net.”
“He hurt you, made you feel scared and alone and helpless,” Max said. “Everything you feel is natural.”
“Everything I needed or wanted had to go though him. I knew I could take care of myself. I have been since I was eighteen. I had to beg him for everything, down to deodorant, and for a price. In the end it was like learning to walk again. I’m scared but I’m free of it and him so I’ll be strong again,” Nicole said and looked down at their hands.
Did she even notice that she was rubbing his fingers, playing with his hand? He was holding her hand to comfort her and yet here he was reveling in the touch of her fingers against his skin.
“I’d kill him if they let me for all he did to you,” Max said fiercely.
She looked up at him in surprise. “Why? You don’t even know me.”
“I think when I saw you and helped you bring Jules into the world you were forever ingrained in my life.”
He reached up to cup her cheek and she flinched away. It broke something in him to see her react instinctively like she was going to be hit. A man’s hands weren’t meant for hurting any woman. He’d show her that his hands would never hurt her.
“I won’t hurt you,” Max said softly. “I’m going to touch your cheek, that’s all. Will you please let me?”
Nicole gave a quick jerk of her head as a yes and he slowly touched her cheek. She whimpered, a sound that was a mix of fear and longing. Max didn’t move his hand, he left it there and when he tried to move it she placed her own fingers over his to keep their connection. It was a step, a huge step in the right direction. One where she could accept him and he could show her love.
“I should go now,” he said huskily.
“You’ll come back soon?” she asked quickly.
“As many times as you want me too.” Max smiled. “How about we go into the city on Saturday and find Jules a costume?”
“I never said yes to going,” she pointed out.
“Will you go with me to a costume party and dress your son up as a peanut?” Max grinned as he asked.
Nicole nodded. “I think I’d like that, but no to the peanut.”
“Well, find something else then,” he answered. “One more thing.”
She still held his hand against her cheek. “What?”
“A kiss?”
He waited anxiously for her response, would it be yes or no?
“Yes,” she whispered, and he almost didn’t hear it.
Max tempered his passion. She didn’t need the full force of his need. When that time came Max wanted her to ask for it, in that he’d give her the control and take his cues from her.
“Push me away when you want me to stop,” he said against her lips.
Nicole was so still as his lips touched hers that he wondered if she was frozen in fear. Her fingers tightened against his on her cheek, and he knew she was right there with him. He rubbed his lips against hers with gentle pressure and gave her lips a soft lick, asking for entry into her mouth. Nicole gave him access hesitantly and his first taste made him groan. Her tongue barely touched his and she imitated his movements and he felt like he’d been given the sweetest nectar in the universe. She gave him a precious gift of a kiss and he wanted to savor every second. He felt her hand against his chest gently pushing him away. Max pulled back without hesitation and held her hand against his heart.
“Thank you for that, it means more to me than you’ll ever know,” he said huskily, and stood. He shrugged into his leather coat that was lying over the back of the sofa. “I’ll head out so you and the little guy can sleep.”
“Text me and let me know you got home okay,” she said quickly from where she still sat.
Max smiled. “You’re looking out for me, huh?”
Nicole pursed her lips. “Someone has to. Text so I don’t worry… please?”
“As soon as I walk through the door, I promise,” Max replied. “Lock up behind me.”
“Okay.”
He stepped out into the cool night and waited to hear the locks being put in place before he went down the steps from her upstairs apartment. If he was a guy who could skip in joy he probably would’ve. Instead, he just grinned like a fool as he got into his car. It was the most he’d smiled in a long time because he felt his face ache from muscles that usually scowled. It took him a little over an hour to weave his way through traffic back to lower Manhattan and his empty apartment. Compared to the warmth of Nicole’s place, his was sterile and if he didn’t know he lived here he would have thought it was vacant. True to his word, he pulled his phone out and texted Nicole.
Hey I’m home safe and sound.
Good. I was almost tempted to call out the National Guard.
I didn’t know you had that kind of pull.
You would be surprised.
I think there are many things about you Nicole that would surprise me.
Really? I like that… I liked the kiss too.
Me too honey, ten times over.
Goodnight, Tough Cop, sleep well.
G’night, Nicole.
He put the phone on his bedside table and got ready to shower and got ready for bed. He pulled on his burgundy sleep pants and nixed the idea of a Jets T-shirt. In bed he stuck one foot out from under the covers and pulled them up around his waist. He rubbed the place over his chest where Nicole’s hand had been, as if he could still feel her skin beneath his fingertips. The realization settled over him as he drifted off to sleep. For the first time in his life he’d fallen in love. The hard lump in his chest he thought only pushed lifeblood through his veins had another use after all. It now belonged to Nicole and Jules. She called him Tough Cop, but for her Max knew he’d be as soft as a pillow just to experience her love.
Saturday came and Nicole looked nervously at her watch. Maxwell would be there at noon and she felt like she had morning sickness all over again. Since dinner on Tuesday they’d talked and texted every day. She sent him pictures of Jules and he asked for one of her that she also sent. He returned the favor and sent pictures of him in his uniform and sitting in his car on stake-out. Nicole looked at his pictures tons of times a day since then. It scared her to be attracted to him, terrified her to be thinking about a relationship. She was well on her way to getting her life back. Even in the shelter Nicole had her plans set for the future. Maxwell was an unknown kink in that plan, but a very nice kink nonetheless. She had Jules all dressed in his jumper and was ready to go when the cell phone rang. His name showed up on the screen and she pressed the talk button with a smile on her face.
“Hey, are you almost here?” Nicole asked.
“I had to turn around, we got a call and I’m heading in to suit up,” Max’s voice was apologetic. “Mind if we try for tomorrow?”
Nicole pushed back her irritation and tried to understand that his job always had him on call. But still she was disappointed.
“Nicole?” He said her name softly.
“Yes, that will be fine.” Her voice was stiff.
Max sighed. “Honey, don’t be mad. I wanted to see you and Jules too.”
“It’s fine, Max, I’ll take Jules to the farmer’s market close by and get some fall fruit and veggies,” Nicole said. “I’ll make us dinner tomorrow.”
“That sounds great,” Max said. “I’ve got to hang up now but I’ll call or text later.”
“Okay, be careful.” Nicole pressed the button and tried to push her annoyance aside. She looked down at a very wide-awake Jules and smiled. “Looks like it’s us and the fresh air today sir.”
Jules blew a spit bubble and she laughed. Nicole took him outside and made sure to lock her doors before heading to her car. As the afternoon went by she forgot her disappointment and went about her day. But when the day passed with no call or text from Max, she sent him a few. No answer. She started to worry when Sunday went by with no word from him, and by Sunday night she was practically frantic. Jules also became more colicky and that entire night she walked the hallway and living room with the crying baby. She could’ve called Karen, she knew that, but Karen lived in Manhattan as well. Nicole didn’t want to depend on anyone when it came to Jules. Since she was a single parent, she had no break and exhaustion mixing with her fear that Max was hurt made it worse.
Of course Nicole began to think this was his way of ditching her after he figured out quickly that a woman with a kid wasn’t his cup of tea.
Why would he want an abused, broken woman like me when there’s a bunch of hot single women right in the midst of Manhattan?
she thought miserably. It was late Monday evening and even after a nap she was still tired beyond words. She was laying on the sofa with her hand over her eyes trying to nap while Jules slept in his bassinette. If it was going to be another night of crying she’d need every ounce of energy she could muster. Her mind wouldn’t shut up about Max and all the reasons why he hadn’t called or texted. When the doorbell rang she looked at the door in irritation. When she opened the door and Max stood there, relief coursed through her and then anger.
“Hey honey,” he said with a smile.
“Don’t call me that,” Nicole snapped. “What happened to I’ll call you later, we’re going to go out on Sunday? It’s Monday night, thanks for the call.”
“My phone broke, I had no way to call you until I got it fixed,” Max explained.
“Uh-huh, I’ve heard that one before.” She gave him a cold look. “Really Max, no need to explain. I get it, poor abused woman and a kid cannot trump a weekend out in Manhattan.”
“You think I was out living it up and breaking a promise to come see you and Jules?” Max asked in amazement. “I had a call come in. While we like our time off, when you’re part of SWAT you’re always on the clock.”
“A SWAT call that took over forty-eight hours? Yeah sure,” she retorted.
“Can I come in and at least talk to you?” he asked.
“Heck no, neither my son nor I will be your boredom fix, nor will I be your chef when you want a decent meal.”
“Whoa, where did that comment come from?”
“Whatever, Max, your time is your own, thanks for coming by.”
“Stop.” Max cut her words off with the slice of his hand. “If you’re going to play judge, jury, and executioner, then you will hear my side. This doesn’t get to be a Nicole kicks Max out situation until after I say what I need to say. Then if you want me to leave I’ll be gone.”
He took a deep breath. “First, a call can be as long as it has to be, usually we do not go into a hostage situation unless it’s warranted and we hear the hostage taker breaking down and getting ready to hurt someone. Like in your case, Walter was breaking fast and we needed to get you and Karen out of there. This time it was a drug house with four kids involved. We sure as hell weren’t going to rush it so I could go out later. Second, when we moved in the perp escaped and I chased him for four blocks, then we got in a tussle and my phone got smashed in the fray.” He pulled his cell from his pocket. “See, brand new phone, and I had to download and get my contacts in order. Then a pile of paperwork and a trip to the ER and instead of just calling, I drove right here after they cut me loose.”
“You were in the hospital?” Nicole gasped.
He held up his right hand and for the first time she saw the white bandages. “Thirteen stitches.”
She slapped his chest. “See, that’s another thing. Suppose you had been shot or something and your phone is broken? No one would’ve known to call me, and I’d see it on the news.”
She saw a smile hinting around his lips. “So you were worried about me?”
“Don’t you dare smile at me, I’m mad,” Nicole said and pointed to her own face. “See, this is my mad face.”
“No, that’s your beautiful face, honey.” Max grinned.
“No honey, I’m not your honey yet,” she replied.
“We’re working toward that, aren’t we?” he asked.
“I don’t know since I haven’t heard from you in days,” Nicole pointed out.
“I have a compromise,” Max announced.
“What would that be?” Nicole had her hands on her hips and they still stood on opposite sides of the door.
He used the thumb of his uninjured hand to press a few buttons and put his phone up to his ear. He spoke after a few seconds. “Hey Jones, it’s me Max. I’m going to be texting you two numbers that I need you to save in your phone. If anything happens to me call them. It’s Nicole, my girlfriend.” Max looked at her. “Can I use the word girlfriend or does that make you uncomfortable?”
She gave a quick nod. “I’m okay with it if you are.”
He went back to his call. “She’s okay with the term girlfriend. So go ahead and do that. Nicole Henry.” Max listened for a minute. “Yes, the girl from the shelter situation and her son Jules. Tell your wife yes, I’ll bring them over soon.” She watched his face as he laughed. “You’re going to end up being a daddy for the fourth time, you watch. Anyway gotta go, I’m in her doorway begging for entry. Bye.”
He pressed the disconnect button and asked, “Can I please come in?”
“Not until you text him my numbers,” Nicole said.
Max handed her his cell. “I’ve got a bum hand, you do it.”
She stepped aside to let him in while she sent the text. Instead of walking by, Max closed the door and pulled her into his arms and she buried her face against his wide chest.
“I thought you didn’t want me because of my past, that me and the baby were too much for you to handle,” she said against his chest.
He lifted her face so he could look at her. Nicole could drown in that deep blue gaze if she let herself.
“Don’t ever think that. You’re all I thought about every day since I met you,” he told her gently.
“I’m just tired, Jules has been colicky and not sleeping, he cried all night and then I was worrying about you and us,” Nicole admitted. “I’ve been a hot mess.”
Max kissed her nose. “You look gorgeous, but I tell you what, let me be on baby duty for a few hours.”
“Your hand…”
He shook his head. “I’m left handed so I’m good. The cut is not in my palm but across my thumb, they just bandaged it up like I’m a mummy. You go to bed and if Jules wakes up I can manage. If there’s something I don’t know how to do I’ll wake you, I promise.”
“So you could’ve texted,” she pointed out.
Max grinned. “I was going for sympathy, your mad face scared me.”
“There’s pumped milk in the fridge in bottles, you just put it in the warmer for a few minutes to warm it up,” Nicole explained.
He nodded. “Gotcha. Now can I have a really good kiss because I’m injured and I need it? Plus, I want to hold you some more.”
She nodded and her heart gave an excited tumble. “Yes you may.”
The kiss was even more amazing than the last. This time she let go of more of her reservation and while the nervousness was still there she enjoyed the kiss. His tongue penetrated her mouth and she felt almost faint. There was so much passion bottled up in this one man. She felt the emotions in the tense muscles of his arms as she held on while he plundered her mouth. She could also tell he was holding back, trying not to scare her or move too fast. She almost wanted to whisper
let go
, and see what it would be like to be with Max unrestrained. She gave a soft moan when he pulled away to hug her and nuzzle her neck.
“Go get some sleep, honey,” he said huskily. “I’m on duty and Jules is safe with me.”
“I know he is, if you need to leave because of a call just wake me up,” Nicole said.
“That won’t be happening, injured on the job I’ve got two weeks leave,” Max winked. “You okay with me hanging around?”
“We can watch an X-Files marathon,” she teased and then said, “I hope you do hang around, I really do.”
It was a big decision for her, but after how she felt when she didn’t hear from him and then finding out he was injured Nicole knew she would be miserable without him. Maxwell Kincaid had struck something in her that she wanted to explore. He was willing to give her as much time as she needed, and more than that he was taken with her son. It was even more evident when she snuck out of her room and moved quietly up the hallway to check on Max with the baby. He was sitting on the sofa and had Jules in his arms. The sofa faced away from the hallway so Nicole was able to watch him without fear of being seen. Max was watching the Jets on TV. She listened as Max explained the finesse of the game to Jules, a baby that wasn’t even a month old yet.
“So a first down is over ten yards, and the line of scrimmage is where all those guys line up to do the plays called by the coach. Now on TV they show that yellow line and then those big guys are supposed to stop the quarterback from getting the ball to the running back,” Max explained. “I think you’ll probably be one or the other. You’ll be fast and nimble. Plus, when you start football I’ll be in the stands in case anyone messes with my boy. We’ll find that Jets outfit I got you for Sunday’s game and we’ll put it on you. You can be their lucky charm and maybe they’ll win the Superbowl. It’s in the Meadowlands in New Jersey this year. I’d get us tickets, but it’s too darn cold for us to be out there. We’ll watch it on TV with your mom where it’s warm. Besides, I think she’d make better snacks, wait until you can eat buddy, her food will knock your tiny socks off. Your mom is an awesome woman, trust me, you’re a lucky kid and I’m a lucky guy.”
Nicole listened to him talk with a huge smile on her face before she crept back down the hallway, assured that Jules was safe. Maxwell was amazing and she found her fear being replaced by something more. He would never hurt her, of that she could be assured, such gentle hands that could hold a baby with infinite care could never be used to cause pain. She’d push past those walls where she wanted to scream and hide. She wouldn’t let Derek take her life from her, her happiness or ability to love. This was one more way Nicole would take her life back.
* * * *
“Karen, I’m having crisis,” Nicole said into the phone as she paced her friend and confidant’s office.
She’d come into the city for her doctor’s appointment and decided to pay Karen a visit at the shelter, plus drop off cookies and cakes for the women and children that stayed there. Her life had been going great. The baby was growing like a weed and already sleeping through the night. She had four new web design contracts that would refill her savings account nicely. Jules’s colic was gone and she swore he was starting to smile already. Max had gone back to work after two weeks leave. His hand was healed and in those two weeks they were practically inseparable. She’d met Jones, his wife, and kids, and they shopped for and picked out the costumes they’d be wearing to the family’s Halloween party. He was always at her house or they went out together for dinner with Jules in his car seat. When they kissed, it was like lava was building up inside her that needed to be released. Each time she pulled away it was because of the fact that she couldn’t have sex until the doctor cleared her. That final barrier was taken away today and now she was in a panic.
“What, is Jules okay? Are you?” Karen asked in concern. She was holding the baby and cooing at him while talking with Nicole.
“We’re both fine, that’s the thing, the doctor gave me the green light for … you know,” Nicole explained.
Karen grinned. “You mean sex, as in sex with Max to be precise?”
Nicole nodded. “Yes, what do I do?”
“Do you want to have sex with said man?” Karen asked.
She nodded. “I really do.”
“Is protection in place for unwanted buns in said ovens?” Karen teased.
“Yes, it was placed two weeks ago, I’m using the IUD,” she answered.
“Then go for it,” Karen said. “If I was single with a Max I’d go for it.”
“What if I suck at it?” Nicole asked. “Derek used sex as a weapon and I just tuned out until he was done. When I got pregnant he wouldn’t touch me and that was a relief. Before that my last boyfriend wasn’t very good at it. Maybe it was me, maybe not them. I could suck at it!”