He sure as hell wasn’t big on talking. Never had been, never would be. But he wanted to talk to Reece about this. He needed to know what they were maybe about to become.
A few hours outside of New Orleans, they pulled into a complex of outlets and restaurants.
“I’m dying. I need to grab some lunch.”
Reece looked up, like he’d been so caught up in his work he hadn’t even noticed time passing. “Of course. Yeah. We should get out of this car.”
They got out, stretched, and looked around. Angus saw a Mexican restaurant right away; he seemed to have some sort of homing device for them, after all.
Reece followed his line of sight and laughed. “You want Mexican?”
“We don’t have to.”
“I’m not complaining. Sounds good, actually. It’s been a few days since we had it last.”
“Hey, we haven’t had it since… not since California, I don’t think.”
“Three a.m. burritos in Vegas.”
“Does that even count? I barely remember that night.”
Reece laughed. “I’m sure most of our party barely remembers that night. It was crazy. Plus, we had tacos in Austin
and
enchiladas in Santa Fe.”
“Fine.”
They both laughed, but still walked to the Mexican restaurant all the same. Angus hadn’t thought of their bachelor party friends in days. Or the guys from Coachella. Even the ones from last night had faded already. Only Reece remained, with this, like, glow around him, following Angus from city to city, desert, bayou, mountain. No matter what, Reece was there.
“It was fun, though, right? And last night?”
Reece gave him a shy smile. “Yeah. It was a lot of fun. Especially last night. Let’s go get you a burrito before you get separation anxiety.”
“I miss Casa Burrito.”
“That can be the first thing we have when we get home.” Reece ruffled his hair and gave him the world’s gentlest shoulder bump.
“I haven’t been there in months. Not since my birthday.”
“Then you can get two burritos. And a quesadilla.”
Angus snorted. “And then never sleep again because my stomach is about to explode.”
“But won’t it be so worth it?”
“Probably. Okay, yeah. Definitely.”
They ate Mexican and talked about Reece’s current editing project, and it all felt so normal that Angus wondered if he’d imagined the magic last night. But then their fingers brushed in the chip basket and sent a skittering of sparklers down his spine. And Reece’s foot brushed his under the table, and then his two feet bracketed one of Angus’s. And they kept talking like none of it was going on. Angus’s body was confused, but his heart was on overdrive. Even though his enchiladas were delicious, he barely tasted them. All he noticed was Reece, Reece, Reece, and he wondered what the hell his heart had been doing since he was eighteen. It seemed like it had just woken up.
IT WAS
hard to get on the road again, with happily full stomachs, but they had a while to go still before they hit Nashville. Reece clapped his laptop shut about an hour after they’d gotten back on the road again.
“What do you want to do after Nashville?”
“Is there going to be an after Nashville?”
“We’re already here. What’s another couple days before we head home?”
Angus grinned. Sensible Reece didn’t take off on long road trips across the country. But here he was. Angus could barely believe it. “Have you seen DC?” he asked.
“No, you want to do DC?”
“Sure. What about… well, what about New York? I’ve never been there.”
“I have, but not since that band trip in eighth grade. We had chaperones. My mom made me bring my retainer, and I shared a room with her instead of the other kids.”
Angus snorted. “So New York?”
“Absolutely.”
He felt wild, like he was just throwing things out there, and Reece was just agreeing with them.
“Provincetown? I hear it’s worth seeing.”
“After New York? I think they’re close enough.”
Angus couldn’t help it anymore. He let out a loud cackle. “This is so incredible. I can’t believe we’re just doing all of this.”
“It really is.”
IT WAS
pretty late when they pulled into Nashville. They’d stopped along the way at a few places to look around, and even did a plantation tour. They found a Holiday Inn that looked decent and collapsed into one of the beds right after they’d brushed their teeth.
“Night, Reece,” Angus mumbled.
“Night, babe.” Reece flopped his arm over Angus’s middle in what was quickly becoming a very familiar pattern. Then he wriggled his face into Angus’s neck and seemed to fall completely to sleep.
The next day went very quickly. They wanted to see the highlights of the city, including the full-scale Parthenon replica, of course. Angus liked it. Nashville had that big-city-but-small-town vibe that Portland had. But it didn’t, like… get to him the way some of the other places had. Maybe it was because all he could see and think about was Reece, and they could be inside a cardboard box and he wouldn’t care. Whatever the reason, by the time they went to bed that night, he was ready to pack up and get to their next destination.
“WHAT’D YOU
think of Nashville?” Reece asked when they were lying there. The second bed was still made from the first night, completely ignored, with their jackets strewn on top. Angus hoped they’d be sharing a bed for the rest of the trip. Or even longer, if he had his way.
Angus ran his hand up and down Reece’s chest. He was in this haze, like nothing really mattered. “It was nice.”
“What’d you like best about it?”
“Hmm?”
Reece chuckled. “Angus. Nashville.”
“Oh, the Parthenon was really cool. And I like the whole, like, main drag. All the country bars were fun, even if that’s not really my kind of music.”
“Yeah, I’m glad we got to see it, even if we were only here for a day.”
“Same.”
Angus tipped his head up and kissed Reece. Sober. No absinthe excuses, nothing to hide behind. The thing was, Reece kissed him back.
The kiss was meant to be a short brush of lips, but for some reason, the two of them seemed to be having a hard time with that. Instead, the kiss deepened. Turned into seeking tongues and a whole lot of what had happened back in New Orleans. Reece pulled Angus on top of him until Angus was straddling his hips, hands on the pillow on either side of Reece’s face, and they were kissing and grinding against each other.
“Shit,” Angus breathed when they broke apart for a moment.
“Babe?” Reece asked. He sounded as hoarse and out of it as Angus felt.
“Yeah?”
“Are we going to talk about this?”
Angus thought about it. He thought about difficult conversations about the future, about how serious it was going to get really fast, because they were them, and there wouldn’t be a casual, and he
wanted
that. He really wanted that, bad timing or not, but he didn’t want to get into it that night. Not when there was a bare-chested Reece to kiss and hold. Not when he could fall asleep in Reece’s arms.
“Not yet,” he murmured. “Soon.”
He dove back into the kiss, the kiss that went from gentle to hot to gentle again. They were both tired from walking, but Angus didn’t want to stop kissing, and it seemed like Reece didn’t want to either.
They just kissed and kissed until Angus felt himself getting sleepy.
“I’m so tired,” he murmured.
“Me too. That beer after dinner was enough to knock me out.”
“We will talk about it soon, okay? Really.”
“Yeah. We’re tired right now. It’s late. We have to get up pretty early in the morning.”
“Yeah. Go see the President and shit.”
Reece chuckled. “Yeah. He invited us over for lunch.”
“You’re a dork.” Angus kissed his chest anyway.
“I know.”
“Night, babe,” Angus said. He slung an arm over Reece’s warm chest and snuggled his face into Reece’s neck. It seemed right to sleep like that. Angus didn’t know how he’d ever sleep again on his own. Or if he’d ever have to.
“Night,” Reece whispered.
He dropped one more kiss to the top of Angus’s head and flopped down onto the pillow himself.
I love you
. Angus didn’t say that part out loud anymore, because as many times as they’d said it over the years, as friends and bros and whatever, it meant something entirely different to him now, and he didn’t know how Reece would feel about his fast-growing feelings.
Part of Angus worried he was jumping into things too fast. It had only been a few months since Brad, and they’d been together so damn long. Should he be single for a while? Play the field?
The thing was, the thought of playing with someone who wasn’t Reece made his skin crawl. There must’ve been something there, something he’d missed for years but the families and Brad and all their friends seemed to pick up in a heartbeat. There was a rightness to being with Reece. It felt new and exciting but at the same time like they were exactly as they always had been and always were supposed to be. A click, he supposed. And maybe it was that realization that made him know he didn’t want anything else, even freedom from a relationship. He wanted Reece. And he hoped he got to keep him.
Washington, DC
“FAVORITE THING
we’ve seen so far. Go.” Angus was driving again. Reece had attempted to work, actually had managed quite successfully, but his fifteen-minute break had turned into an hour break, and it was so hard to go back to it and not spend the time talking to Angus. And staring at him. And remembering their heated kisses from the night before.
“Ummm.”
“You have to think?”
“Probably the French Quarter. Or the rock formations outside of Santa Fe—that was pretty spectacular. Carmel was beautiful too, though. I can’t really pick. What about you?”
“I’m not sure. I’ve loved, like… everything. As much as I was in a shitty mood when we got there, I really liked Santa Fe. It’s beautiful.”
“It’s one of my favorite places I’ve ever been.”
“Yeah, it’s so peaceful there. Like basically the opposite of most of the places we’ve been.” Angus chuckled.
“Well, DC isn’t going to be quiet and peaceful. At least it won’t be hot yet, and I think we’re going to be a little late, but we might catch the cherry blossoms still.”
“Do you have anything specific in mind that you want to catch for sure?” Angus asked.
Reece’s brain was too tired to come up with a good answer. Or his last name. “No, but I’ve always wanted to go. You know, see all the… American stuff.”
“American stuff. Did they put vodka in your coffee? You’re supposed to be an
editor.
”
“You know what I mean.” He wracked his brain. “The Smithsonian. And at least the outside of the White House. And… shit. What else is there?”
Angus shrugged. “Abraham Lincoln?”
“Sure, all the monuments and stuff. I guess it’s important to see all of that, and neither of us have.”
“The monuments.” Angus snickered. “We’re so educated.”
“Fuck off, I came up with the Smithsonian, and I’m
tired.
You’re looking forward to New York more, aren’t you?” Reece asked. He knew his best friend. Looking at a bunch of white marble wasn’t ever going to be his favorite thing.
Angus smiled. “You caught me. I mean… DC will be cool and important and whatever, and I think we should do it, but yeah. Hell yeah, I’m looking forward to New York.”
“Do you want to go to see a show while we’re there?”
“Like, Broadway?”
“Yeah.”
Angus gave Reece a long, withering look. “Really?”
“I guess that’s a no.”
“I mean, again, that’s probably something you’re supposed to do when you’re in New York, but I can’t imagine sitting in a theater for so long when there are things to
see
, people and buildings and lights, and the city is so big, you know? Does that make me less gay if I don’t really care about Broadway?”
“Don’t stereotype.” Reece glared at him for a second.
“Sorry, Mom.” Angus rolled his eyes.
“Please don’t call me mom. My tongue’s been in your mouth.”
“Oh my God.” Angus snorted hard. “Duly noted. No ‘mom.’ Do
you
want to go see a play?”
Reece was quiet for a long time. “Nah.”
“Are you lying to me?”
“A little.”
But not really. Honestly, it was to the point for him where he’d rather just… kiss Angus. And touch him. He’d be happy in a string of hotel rooms, or at home, just with Angus. Naked. Like that moment last night, when he’d had his hands on Angus’s waistband and his fingers were sliding down beneath it until all there was, was soft, creamy skin. He wanted all of that skin all of the time.
“You okay over there?”
“Honestly?”
“Obviously.”
“I can’t stop thinking about kissing you.”
Angus breathed in sharply. “Jesus. Boy’s trying to drive over here. You can’t say stuff like that.”
“Are you thinking about it?”
“Pretty much constantly.”
“We said we were going to talk about it. Just… what’s going on?”
Angus looked happy and terrified, and if Reece knew him as well as he thought he did, a little bit ready to take off and run.
“I’m…. I wish I had an answer for you, babe. Like, this thing between us. It’s not something I ever in a million years expected, so I don’t have a neat answer. I just, I… fucking really love it. That’s all I know for now.”
“Yeah. I love it too. And I never expected it either. I may have wanted it, but I didn’t expect it.”
“Fuck. Really?”
“You had to know.”
His poor best friend looked like he was about to explode.
“I think I might be the most oblivious person in Portland, because I didn’t. I should’ve known a lot of things. You not being straight, Brad’s asshole cheating. And you… wanted me?”
“Yeah.”
Hell, that was terrifying. But it felt good to get it off his chest. Surprisingly good. Maybe it was because they’d spent the last few days kissing, and it wasn’t just him saying things that would scare the shit out of Angus, but Reece was happy he’d finally told him. It could’ve been worse. Reece hadn’t opened his mouth and said “I’m in love with you.” He didn’t know if he’d be capable of just… saying that. Not when he didn’t think Angus was ready to feel the same way about him. They were so new, barely even anything to
be
new. They were unformed, and Reece was so scared, and he wanted Angus forever, and it freaked him the hell out.