Authors: Heather Anastasiu
But other than the early-rising Rez fighters, the Caf was empty.
“He eats breakfast with his mom sometimes,” Ginni said as we dumped our trays half an hour later.
But Adrien wasn’t in our morning training session either. I came up to Ginni after class, wringing my hands anxiously. “Can you…?”
“Use my power?” she finished. She nodded and closed her eyes for a second, then opened them again. “He’s in the east bathroom.”
“Thanks.”
I hurried to the east bathroom and pushed the sliding door open gently. I heard the rush of running sink water and opened the door all the way.
Adrien was at the sink, splashing his face over and over. He’d half soaked his tunic, but he kept cupping water in his hands and throwing it onto his face, slapping his cheeks hard every time. He finally stopped, his hands braced on either side of the sink, a line of muscle forming on his cheek where he gritted his teeth. He stared at himself in the mirror.
His face looked pinched with pain. His shoulder blades jutted out next to the taut muscles on his back.
Seeing him like this shocked all the questions right out of me. I felt a hitch in my chest as I watched. I’d never seen him like this before. He was always so ready with a smile for me or a joke for Rand and Juan at the Caf table.
“How long?” he whispered, his voice low and guttural. At first I thought he was talking to me, but then I realized he was questioning his reflection.
“Adrien?” I asked, finally stepping inside.
He looked up and his mouth dropped open in surprise when he saw me in the mirror. He spun around, rubbing his forearm over his dripping face and pasting on a quick smile.
“Hey,” he said, then looked away and cleared his throat.
“What’s going on?” I stepped closer.
“Nothing.” He grabbed a few towels from the dispenser on the wall and started cleaning up the water he’d splashed all over the sink.
I came closer and put my hand on top of his to stop him from scrubbing the sink so hard. “What did you mean when you asked, ‘How long?’”
He flinched, but covered it quickly with a smile.
“I’m so sorry I left you like that last night,” I said. “Are you upset about the soldiers? Or did you have a new vision?”
He closed his eyes and breathed out in frustration. “I can’t tell you.”
“Why not?”
“Last time I told you about the future,” his words came out harsh, “it caused you so much stress you had a nightmare and lost control of your power.”
My mouth dropped open. “That wasn’t your fault!”
“Remember that story we read about Oedipus, and how the oracle started it all?” He turned to me, his voice heated. “I feel like it’s the same with me. Whenever I tell people my visions, bad things follow. Those soldiers last night…” The smiling mask had dropped away and every ounce of grief and pain was clear in his eyes. “I told Taylor about a vision I had, and that’s why they were in Central City in the first place. It’s because of me those soldiers died.”
“Adrien—”
“The things I’ve seen…” He shook his head. “I’ve tried so many times to change things, and every time I fail. I thought maybe I just didn’t have enough power to stop them, so I started sharing all my visions with the General. Even one vision I should have
never
told her.” His shoulders slumped in defeat. “Knowing the future changes a person. It makes you desperate, or reckless.”
He looked at the mirror again, his haunted eyes reflecting back. “Or hopeless. I’ve learned my lesson now. You can’t stop what’s coming for you. What’s the point of even trying?”
“Oh, Adrien,” I murmured, pulling him into my arms, ignoring his soaked tunic and holding him as tightly as I could. I listened to his heartbeat through the damp cloth. “Shhh, it’s okay,” I whispered. “It’s gonna be okay.” I patted his back.
I pulled his head down and kissed his forehead, wanting to comfort him any way I could. I kissed down to his ear, then to his cheek, tasting salt on my lips from his tears. I kept moving, slow gentle brushes of my mouth all the way down his face.
“It’s gonna be okay,” I whispered again. He stood still in my arms, not moving as I hovered, inches from his lips. He stared at me, his eyes dark. Then he cupped the back of my head and pulled me into him for one deep, hungry kiss. A sizzle of lightning sparked all through my body.
All the anguish and intensity that had been in his voice a moment ago was now transformed into his touch. I gasped as his tongue trailed down my neck and pulled his head back up roughly with my hands so I could kiss his full lips again.
He twirled me until his body pinned me against the wall. One of my legs hitched up around his hips, pulling him closer. He gripped the fabric of my tunic in his fists and a low growl escaped from the back of his throat. I was all lips and nerve endings and a body pressing against his.
I arched up into him, barely hearing the buzzing in my ears go from a slight hum to a raging vibration.
Until the mirror behind him exploded into a thousand pieces, the shards blowing outward.
Chapter 12
I’D BEEN TRAINING
with Adrien’s mom for the last week—and had the bruises to prove it. But I deserved it. It had taken two hours for Jilia to get all the bits of mirror glass out of Adrien’s back. The look Sophia had given me when she came in to see him had cut sharper than the glass splinters embedded in my arm. She had pulled me aside and said she’d arranged for me to train with her every afternoon until I could get my power under control.
It felt like all I did was train now, morning till night. Mornings with Tyryn, then I usually skipped lunch to spend an hour meditating with Jilia, followed by afternoons with Sophia. And still, other than a few rare moments here and there where I’d felt right on the cusp of calling my power voluntarily, I wasn’t any closer to controlling it.
“Your power is linked to your emotions,” Sophia said, lifting the pellet gun at me again. “But obviously meditation isn’t working,” she continued. “So let’s try getting you angry.”
I tried to prepare this time, to gather my telek, but before I could even try to focus on the dim buzzing in my ears, a rubber pellet smacked me in the forehead.
“Why didn’t you deflect that?” Sophia asked, her gray-blond dreadlocks flying behind her as she spun around.
“I’m trying,” I said through gritted teeth.
She raised the pellet gun in response. “General Taylor doesn’t need you to try. She needs you to
do
. She had this place rebuilt to accommodate you because she needs your power to work. She needs you to be a weapon.”
“I don’t see how shooting me in the face is supposed to help me focus—”
Two pellet rounds smacked into my ribs.
“Hey!” I shouted. “I wasn’t even ready.”
She sneered. “You think in a fight, a Reg will stop so you can have a moment to get ready?” Another bullet flew toward me. I held up my hands to deflect it, but it just smacked into my pinky finger.
“Ow!” I cradled my finger and looked up at the woman, so frustrated I could scream. We’d already been at this for half an hour, and I was sure I was going to have small pellet-sized bruises up and down my body. I bet she couldn’t wait to volunteer for this task. I could almost feel the satisfaction radiating off her. My hands started to shake. I looked down at them in dismay. This was exactly what I didn’t want to happen. I didn’t want to lose control with Adrien’s mom. It would just be that much more ammunition for her hatred of me.
I held up my tremoring arm. “Maybe we should stop for a little bit.”
Sophia ignored me, not lowering her weapon. “I told Adrien that he should stay away from you. That you are dangerous.”
“I’d never hurt him.”
“Oh really?” Her eyebrows raised.
“The mirror was an accident,” I mumbled, looking down.
“What if these were real bullets? When you’re out there running missions, you need to be able to take care of yourself. My son is strong and smart, but he’d jump in front of a laser weapon to try and save you. Are you going to let him get killed because of you?”
“No.” The buzzing got louder in my ears, but I tried to tamp it down. It was coming on too quickly. I knew I was supposed to be trying to access the power, but the truth was, I was terrified of it. Sophia was right. All I did was get people hurt. And our training sessions weren’t helping much.
Whenever I walked into the Caf these days, talk quieted at all the tables. Furtive eyes glanced at me, and then quickly darted away. I could tell they’d all heard about what had happened with the mirror, and Ginni had probably filled everyone else in about my repeated failures at the glitcher training sessions. This morning several of the Rez fighters had stared at me in open hostility, making my cheeks flame in embarrassment and shame. They’d all expected me to be this powerful leader. I was supposed to be a sign of hope, a secret weapon against the Chancellor.
But I was none of those things. My torso started shaking with frustration at my repeated failure.
I tried to calm down and take deep breaths, following Jilia’s instructions. But all I really wanted to do was run out of the room and go Link myself.
The tremors got worse.
“We’ve got to take a break,” I said, trying to keep my voice even.
“Are you angry yet?” she yelled. “You can feel your power, can’t you? Now try to harness it. Control it, don’t let it control you.”
I looked down at my shaking arm in dismay. Yes, I could feel the power. Maybe Sophia’s way, as much as I disliked it, was the path to finally getting control. Now, if I could just direct it the way that I wanted to this time.… I gritted my teeth together and tried to remember the breathing methods from meditation class. Deep breath in, deep breath out. I could do this. No one else had to get hurt because of me.
The shaking started to subside a tiny bit, and when I closed my eyes I could feel the shape of the room around me. It was almost like there was a 3-D projection cube of the whole room in my head. I could feel the objects filling the space and sense Sophia’s movement without even looking.
Then Sophia launched another pellet at me and my eyes popped back open.
“If you would wait a second—” I started.
Another pellet thumped into my side.
“Just let me get—”
Another pellet.
“Stop it!” I yelled, all my frustration bubbling up and over.
Sophia flew backward six feet into the wall and then crumpled to the ground. I rushed over to her. “Are you okay?”
There was a thin layer of padding covering the training room wall, but I knew it was solid rock beyond. I felt sick at the thought of having hurt someone else, even her. Her hair was tossed in her face. I pushed the thick strands aside. “Are you okay?” I asked again anxiously.
She let out a pained groan but sat up, rubbing her shoulder.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, and reached to help her up. “I didn’t mean to—”
“Exactly.” Her voice was cutting. “You didn’t use it on purpose. You can’t control it.” She jerked her hand back from me and slowly got to her feet. She picked up the pellet gun from where she’d dropped it and shoved it at my chest.
“Your telekinesis is extremely powerful, but if you don’t get it under control, and soon, all it makes you is dangerous. I don’t have visions often like my son, but I’ve seen enough. Without control, you are a ticking time bomb. I don’t want Adrien around the next time you go off.” Her eyes were hard as steel, and she paused to enunciate every word. “Stay away from my son.”
* * *
“Did you and Adrien get in a fight?” Ginni asked.
Ginni and I were sitting at the long table in the corner of our dorm room. Her half of the desk was covered in different colored fabrics and a small machine that seamed the pieces together with thread. My side of the table was empty except for my tablet. Even though I’d been sitting and staring at the screen for an hour, I couldn’t remember a thing I’d read. I’d been like this all week. I couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything.
“What?” I asked, looking up.
“Well you two haven’t been sitting together as much lately, and you always leave class early without waiting to walk with him. Are you mad at him or something?”
I hadn’t meant to be so obvious in avoiding him. “Do you think he thinks I’m mad at him?” He hadn’t said anything. But then, we hadn’t really talked since the mirror incident, and that was almost two weeks ago. We’d say hi and joke around in the Caf. But we hadn’t had a real conversation, the kind that went below the surface, in a long time.
“Are you?” Ginni pressed.
“No, I just…”
I just felt helpless when it came to my powers and I was afraid of hurting him again. Part of me wanted to com him and ask if we could meet somewhere alone, but then his mother’s words would echo in my mind.
Stay away from my son.
I didn’t want it to be true, but Sophia was right. Strong emotions made my power unpredictable, and being alone with Adrien was always inherently emotional. As much as I wanted his arms around me, how could I willingly put him in harm’s way?
Before I could think of what to say to Ginni, Xona burst in.
“Looks like I’ll be joining you for meditation during lunch tomorrow,” Xona said, tossing her tablet case roughly on the ground and then flopping onto Ginni’s bottom bunk. “I got sentenced to extra sessions all week.”
“What happened?” Ginni dropped the two squares of fabric she was holding.
“I caught that ex-Reg Cole following me on my way to a private training session. It’s not the first time either.”
Ginni looked at me, a secret smile playing on her face. She got that look whenever one of us started talking about a boy at the Foundation. She’d always nudge me with an elbow or nod and wink. It probably had something to do with the books she was always reading. She’d pause periodically to look up from the words, clutching her reading tablet to her chest and sighing loudly.
“And…?” Ginni prompted.
Xona smirked, leaning back to lazily entwine her fingers behind her head. “And I gave him a quick elbow to the throat. Now he knows better.”
Ginni gasped.