Chapter Twenty-Five
No dog and no cat. No wife or kid waited for him back home in California either. He talked fondly of Alessa in Oregon who owned a horse ranch. He’d saved her when her werewolf husband placed her on his menu. She was the closest he’d ever come to a girlfriend, but Nix denied they had a relationship deeper than friendship.
The slut inside her interested in Nix was pleased he had no commitments. The compassionate woman within admitted his life must be a lonely existence. Gage found solace in Zoe. James claimed Georgie as his wife. Her hero remained alone in his battled-hardened, paranormal world.
Nix became animated, voice rising and falling, expressions altering as he recounted his life and how he got involved in the Sherlock business.
“Shortly after my twelfth birthday, demons broke into our home and attacked my family. My father attempted to fight back and failed. The demons enjoyed torturing him and the more anguish he endured, the more enthusiastic they became. I tried to help by taking my prized baseball bat to them, but I ended up having it used on me.” Nix threaded his fingers through his hair, and she resisted telling him she didn’t need to hear his life story. She had a feeling he needed to share his suffering with someone other than his family.
He went on. “My right arm was broken in three spots, and I underwent two surgeries before the healing process could start. But—” he cleared his throat “—that wasn’t the worst part. While the cackling female restrained me, the male murdered my father. I still have nightmares where my dad is begging for our lives and the demons offer no compassion. They carved him up slow and bloody.”
Madison didn’t ask if the final sentence was from his dreams or his reality.
“Next, the creature turned his sights on my mother.” Their gazes met and he chewed on the corner of his mouth for a tense moment. “Madison, she was the gentlest, sweetest woman I’ve ever known. I never once questioned that she loved me. She never elevated her voice, not even when angry or disappointed, and I did a lot of things to disappoint her.”
“Nix, a mother doesn’t remember trivial things like minor disappointments.” Should she offer support and touch him? Squeeze his shoulder or something? Tell him she understood if he didn’t wish to continue? Uncertain of the role he expected her to play, she refrained from doing anything.
“I hope you’re right. The demon raped her.” Madison flinched over his blunt statement. His green eyes darkened with vile memories. “My mother turned her face aside as he took her. I can only guess to save me from witnessing her misery. She didn’t cry or plead for her life, just accepted her fate in silence, a grunt and whimper was all that marked her humiliation.”
As a mother, Madison could understand the need to protect one’s child, even at the expense of her own hardship.
“After the monster finished debasing her, he carved her heart out of her breast as she screamed from the demonic surgery. Then the fiend gloated as he buckled his jeans, and sauntered to me.” For the first time, his voice wavered, but he sucked in a ragged breath and went on in a placid tone. “He gashed me across the chest with a clawed finger and spoke a language I didn’t recognize. Something shadowy entered the room and slammed into my chest. Not knowing anything about the paranormal world, I didn’t know what it was.”
Nix peered at Amos a long moment. Madison held her breath hoping he wasn’t associating the demons from his past with her son. “I now know I was possessed by a demon. Scared and confused, I had no control of my actions. It taunted me from within, telling me how it would use me. The things it planned were vile and I fought against it, but I don’t think anyone can fight against possession. I prayed the law would catch me before it had a chance to force me to do something bad. Luckily, Georgie saw my predicament in a vision and sent James to save me. He exorcised the motherfucker from me, but he arrived too late. I had already killed two innocent people.”
Nix turned his head aside at the confession, but not before she caught the flash of guilt he still carried. Guilt for something he couldn’t control. The man undertook too much blame.
“I haven’t cried since my parents’ funeral.” Nix ran his palm down his face. “I’d never heard the names James or Georgie uttered in our household. Not even whispered as vile secrets. I didn’t even know my dad had a brother. None of my assigned counselors believed my demonic tale. No surprise, huh?” An ironic twitch contorted his lips. “They prescribed antipsychotic drugs and recommended a stint in a state-run psychiatric hospital. James and Georgie demanded the state release me into their custody. And after a tense court hearing, they were granted guardianship over me.”
Madison respected a man and woman who would raise another man’s son as their own.
“You cannot imagine how angry or difficult I was.” He sent her a lopsided grin. “Georgie is as saintly as my mom and she knew all the right things to say to ease my pain and help heal my loss. I learned years later that my dad and James had a falling out before I was born. My parents didn’t agree with James’s lifestyle or his beliefs in the supernatural. It’s unfortunate, my dad died before they could reconcile their differences.”
“I’m so sorry for your loss, Nix.”
He shrugged, but the pain clouding his eyes told her he didn’t feel as casual about his past as he’d have her believe. “As an only child, I dreamed of having a sibling. Gage was the perfect brother-figure.”
Gaining a brother-figure didn’t provide solace for the horrific loss of loving parents. This moment in his life still haunted him. A fool could easily discern why he failed to see himself as a hero. Looking at Nix now, he reminded her of a lost child, searching for something he missed. Most likely, he sought the love and tenderness of parents slaughtered tragically before his eyes by monsters no one, especially a child, should have to ever become accustomed to dealing with. In her opinion, he found a poor substitute as a Sherlock, but gained an adopted family who loved him better than her own blood parents ever had her. Nix painted a grim scenario, and Madison pondered how many others served behind prison bars thanks to the hijacking of a demon. It proved the vileness unleashed on an unsuspecting world, and how little control humans held over their lives. Nothing fair about such an outcome. Nothing fair about Nix’s family situation, or a demon claiming to be her good-for-nothing husband and her son’s father either. Or branding her with some crap she never asked for and never wanted.
She couldn’t think about her screwed up life right now. Regardless of the pills relaxing her, her head hurt and her stomach churned. She needed abstract chatter to distract her from those maladies. She could get back to the demon drama at a later hour.
“And that is the long-winded, uninteresting story of Phoenix Birmingham,” Nix said with a bitter smile.
She tried to smile past the ache that had formed in her chest. “I wouldn’t call it uninteresting. It actually explains a lot about the man you’ve become, Nix.” Madison enjoyed listening to Nix talk, liked the cadence of his voice, a scruffy, sexy tone, but she wished she would’ve been more prepared for the way his story made her feel. Nothing she could say or do would make things better. What he had gone through as a child, no one should be forced to endure. She guessed being a Sherlock was his way of making sure no one suffered the way he had.
Reaching over Amos, she traced a finger over the tattoo on Nix’s forearm. “How far do these go?” She withdrew her hand as if stung by fire. “Sorry.” She gulped and hesitantly met his eyes. “That’s none of my business.”
Nix chuckled. “It’s okay.” Sitting up, he pointed to his right arm. As far as she could see, the ink created a complete sleeve. “This one goes all the way to my shoulder, with a dragon tattoo covering my back. The dragon head comes over my shoulder to my collarbone. This arm—” he held up his left arm, only smooth bare skin visible to the eye “—shoulder tat only.”
She’d love to see the dragon tattoo but couldn’t work up the nerve to ask. “Do they hold any importance?”
“All of them. Most are protective devices to ward off demons. I got the dragon because, for as long as I’ve known Georgie, she’s told me a dragon will save my life one day. I figured it couldn’t hurt to honor him for whatever sacrifice he’ll make.”
Dragons were real? Were all mythical creatures real?
“Hmm….” Amos shifted, rolled from his side to his back. Madison scuffed her knuckles across his cherubic cheek. “Do you know how this dragon will save your life?”
Nix jammed his fingers through his spiky hair. “No. I hope it’s dramatic.” He waggled his eyebrows, and a mischievous tilt hit his mouth. “And I hope a fair maiden is involved.”
Madison laughed and shook her head. Silly man, but she hoped his wish came true.
“I think you watch too much television.” Or possessed too much time on his hands during stakeouts.
“Eh…quite possibly true.” With his hands laced behind his head, he leaned back against the pillows stacked behind his head and crossed his ankles.
***
Nix stared at the ceiling, listening to Amos’s soft snores, comfortable with the questions Madison asked. He’d told her things he never talked about with anyone. Not even his cousin, who knew almost everything. His mother’s rape had traumatized him for years, and he thrust the incident from his mind anytime he thought of it. Yet, it had been easy opening up to Madison about her. He’d found comfort in sharing his harrowing time with her.
Teasing her was easy and felt natural. But given the possibility of her succubus blood, he should cease flirtations with her. The mixed DNA bothered him. First thing in the morning, he would place a few calls and maybe shed some light on the question. He needed to know if his desire for her was real or because of her tainted genealogy.
The copper scent of Madison’s blood tainted the air, as well as her unique smell, a mixture of shampoo, vanilla body wash, and desirable woman. He could get comfortable in a home like this, with someone like her. Having a kid around wasn’t half bad either, except when Amos suffered from a supernatural high. He was fun to hang out with. Nix had whittled a slingshot for him the other day. He would never forget the way Amos’s eyes sparkled with excitement and delight over the unique gift.
Madison had expressed concern over what she deemed a weapon, but Nix insisted every boy should have a slingshot to be well-rounded, and promised to be extra careful. They’d spent hours honing Amos’s accuracy with the toy. His uncanny eye for hitting his target meant Madison’s windows remained intact.
They played tag and hide-and-go-seek. With Amos sadly lacking in horseplay techniques, Nix felt honor bound to teach him all his moves in the backyard and in the living room, until they dropped to the floor in fits of giggles. Or until Madison shooed them into quitting their boyish antics. They jumped on the trampoline, and Amos gave Madison mini heart attacks with his flipping skills. Holding the seat of Amos’s bicycle, Nix ran at least a dozen miles, until the child learned how to ride it without training wheels.
As he tucked Amos into bed that night, the child wrapped his arms around Nix’s neck in a tight squeeze. Then he peered up with wide, blue, trusting eyes and asked if Nix wanted to be his new daddy. Nix gulped and struggled over how to respond. But the question drove home how much the boy needed a father. He knew how it felt to be an orphan. Nix never wanted Amos to feel rejected. He sweated through a halfhearted speech about how he shouldn’t take on the job because he’d be leaving when he caught the bad demon. Even so, Amos smiled and insisted Nix would become his daddy.
Being a father sounded great. He particularly liked the idea of becoming Amos’s father. Minus the demonic tantrums, he couldn’t find a cooler kid. But his role in the family wasn’t playing daddy to a fatherless half-demonic child. His job was to eliminate evil. Amos and even Madison rested on the cusp of becoming a Sherlock’s greatest evil.
“What kind of future do you see for yourself? As a Sherlock?”
The question startled him. Slowly, he turned to scrutinize her. “Short. Bloody.” It would be a miracle if he lived to see thirty.
“Nix.” She gulped, her eyes going sad. For him? Such an odd feeling to know she cared about his welfare. “That outcome is okay with you? You don’t want a life? A family? Normalcy?”
He tried to explain. “This is my life. As for a wife….”
He’d love to find a special someone to pass the lonely days and nights with. But Sherlocking was a lot more dangerous than shooting guns at the practice range. Even a slight demon prick could result in an infection to burn one’s soul away. A slow, brutal death. Not something a wife should have to endure. And last time he checked, insurance companies were reluctant to sell life insurance to Sherlocks.
“I can’t ask a woman to follow me into this life. It’s too dangerous, and I wouldn’t be able to focus for worrying about her every second of every moment of every day.” If anything happened to his girl, he’d blame himself.
“What about Gage and Zoe?”
He shrugged, feeling less casual than he pretended to be. “Gage lucked out. Zo was born into this business. Zo will always be a Sherlock. Hell, her family throws Sherlock reunions.”
“How old are y’all, anyway?”
“I’m twenty-one. Zo and Gage are both twenty-four.”
Madison blinked and appeared to struggle with the dynamics of his life. “So young. And already jaded.”
He shrugged. Almost ten years in the business would make anyone jaded.
“You really don’t think you’ll ever leave this life?”
“No.” He shook his head, an adamant denial. “Once you’re in this business, you can’t walk away from it. My conscience would get to me, knowing I’d abandoned defenseless and unsuspecting people to the supernatural.”
“I’m sorry, Nix. I wish more for you.”
Nix smiled. “You’re sweet, Mads.”
“No.” She shook her head. “You’re a good man. You’d make a great husband and an even better father.”
“Neither are in my future.” Never would be. He accepted the fact.
“Georgie tell you that?”