Paradise (29 page)

He looked at Angel, and as she gazed back at him it suddenly felt as if everything else had fallen away. She experienced such an intense pang of longing and desire for Cal then that she thought it must show in her eyes. The air seemed charged with an emotion which was only broken when Tony and Michelle returned after their rest.

That day set the pattern for the week that followed. Angel took it in turns with the rest of her family and Cal to sit with Frank, so there was someone with him all the time. She spent hours at Frank’s bedside, and hours with Cal, and when Cal wasn’t there, she found herself missing him, longing for him to be back. Suddenly her life with Ethan and their impending marriage seemed a very long way away, as if it belonged to another person, another life.

And it seemed she wasn’t alone in thinking that. One afternoon when Cal and Angel were with Frank, he said, ‘This feels just like old times, doesn’t it?’ Angel looked over at Cal who gave a wry smile.

Frank sighed, ‘I never thought you two would get divorced, but there you go. You can never tell how life is going to turn out, I suppose.’

‘No, you can’t,’ Cal said quietly. ‘And it’s not always the way you wanted it to either.’ He gazed at Angel and she held the look.

For a few minutes everyone was silent, lost in thought. Then Cal checked his watch. ‘I’m going to
have to go, I’m seeing someone for supper.’ He looked at Angel. ‘Will you be okay? I can cancel if not.’

Angel shook her head, dying to ask if Madeleine was the person he was meeting. ‘I’ll be fine.’ She knew she sounded defensive, and it was hardly as if she had any right to ask him to stay.

After Cal left, Frank dozed off and Angel slipped outside to call Ethan. She was surprisingly relieved when Lucy picked up the phone and told her he was at some dinner for the Dodgers. Angel wasn’t up to doing the whole ‘I love you, I miss you’ routine. I’m just worn out, she told herself as she wandered back into the hospital. Her mum turned up soon after that, and she, Angel and Frank spent a couple of hours playing cards, until Michelle sent Angel home, saying that she looked exhausted.

It was an early-May evening, and still light as Angel walked towards the car park. As she drew close she saw a sleek silver Mercedes pull up. Cal got out of the passenger side and a woman Angel was certain was Madeleine got out of the driver’s side and ran round the car to hug him. Angel felt a sickening jolt of jealousy at the sight of the couple. She looked around, wondering if there was any other way to the car park. She really wasn’t up to an encounter with the beautiful model. But it was too late, Cal had seen her. He waved and so Angel had to keep on walking.

‘Are you going home? I just wanted to see if you were okay,’ he asked when she drew close.

‘I’m fine,’ Angel replied, suddenly aware of what a complete wreck she must look – she had no make-up on, her hair, which needed the roots re-doing, was pulled back in an unflattering ponytail, which was verging on a Croydon face lift, and she had spilt tea on her pink hoody earlier on in the day, which had left a nasty-looking stain. Madeleine, on the other hand,
looked absolutely immaculate in a white trouser suit, her shiny brown hair cascading over her shoulders. She was even better-looking in the flesh – this was no model in need of extensive air brushing.

‘This is Madeleine. She just dropped me off on her way back to London,’ Cal explained

The beautiful Madeleine stepped forward and shook Angel’s hand. ‘It’s nice to meet you,’ she said in her perfect, but sexily accented English. ‘I do hope your father is getting better.’

‘He is, thank you.’ Angel turned to Cal. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow then?’

‘’Course.’

‘Nice to meet you, Madeleine,’ Angel said, and walked quickly towards her car, not wanting to spend any longer with them. But back home, even though she was exhausted, she couldn’t sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, an image of Cal and Madeleine embracing came into her head, and then, to really torment herself, she allowed herself to imagine the two of them in bed together. Thought of Madeleine tracing her fingers over the angel-wings tattoo as they made love.

At 3 a.m. she gave up trying to sleep and called Ethan. He was his usual lovely self on the phone, wanting to know how her dad was, telling her how much he loved and missed her.

‘So Maria asked if we wanted her to make her seafood paella for the reception. And the cake people need a definite answer on which design you want – the one with the white chocolate roses and cherubs or the one with the red roses and butterflies?’ he said. Angel felt so detached from her LA life with him that she almost asked whose reception, before realising.

‘Sure, yes to the paella, and I don’t mind about the cake – you surprise me,’ she replied, thinking that the
catering was the very least of her concerns right now. ‘I’m going to stay here another week,’ she told Ethan. She wasn’t ready to leave her dad. Ethan was completely understanding. He said if she needed to stay any longer, he would arrange for Lucy to fly back with Honey as Angel was missing her daughter so much.

How lucky am I to have such a considerate man, Angel told herself after the call. A man who loves me . . . a man I love. But the thought kept sneaking back in that, while she did love Ethan, it wasn’t enough. That love didn’t stop her from thinking about Cal. And at 4 a.m., when she sat up in bed with the light on and looked over at the wall of photographs of her and Cal, she finally admitted the thing she had been running away from ever since she’d found out about Cal’s infidelity. She was still in love with him.

The following morning Michelle took one look at the exhausted Angel over breakfast and insisted that she take herself off to Jeanie’s beauty salon and get a facial and her hair done.

‘No way!’ Angel protested. ‘I’ve got to go and see Dad!’

‘Your dad is seeing the consultant this morning and I’m going to be there, so you can take the morning off. And tonight Cal said something about taking you, Gemma and Tony out for dinner as it’s Tony’s birthday. He was supposed to be having a big do at The Grey’s but he cancelled it because of Dad.’

‘I expect Madeleine is coming too,’ Angel said gloomily.

Michelle shook her head. ‘No, I think she’s at some fashion show in New York. Apparently she can speak four languages. She must be a very clever girl.’

God! Like she needed her mum to big-up Madeleine. ‘Well, I’m sure she and Cal will be very happy together,’
Angel said sulkily. ‘Though he might need to brush up on his languages. He can only ask for a beer in French and Spanish.’

‘Why are you so bothered all of a sudden? You’re getting married to Ethan in less than a month.’

‘I’m not bothered,’ Angel said hotly.

Michelle gave a smile that said she knew better. ‘I’ll call Jeanie and ask if she can fit you in.’

An hour later Angel was lying back in one of the therapy rooms while Jeanie gave her a blissful aromatherapy facial. ‘You skin is great, Angel, just dehydrated. Probably from flying and sitting in the hospital,’ Jeanie told her.

‘I’m not going to end up with spots, am I?’ Angel asked, thinking about the evening ahead. She’d bet beautiful Madeleine never got any spots.

Jeanie shook her head. ‘So how’s it been seeing Cal? It must be strange, spending so much time with him.’ Angel knew Jeanie so well that she didn’t mind the personal questions; in fact, she was glad of the chance to talk to someone about how she felt.

‘That’s the funny thing . . . it doesn’t feel strange at all. It feels strange when I remember –’ Angel hesitated, aware that she was about to say something really important ‘– that we’re not together any more, and that I’m going to marry Ethan, and that Cal’s with Madeleine.’

‘He’s only with her because you’re getting married! He kept thinking you would forgive him eventually and go back to him, but then you got engaged.’

Jeanie was silent after this for a few minutes while she massaged Angel’s shoulders and neck, a move no doubt designed to relieve her tension, but Angel was feeling more and more wound up as she turned over the words in her mind.

‘There, all done,’ Jeanie told her. ‘Take your time
getting up and then I’ll do your hair downstairs.’

She went to leave the room, but instead of lying still, Angel sat up. ‘Jeanie, I think I still love him. Is it too late?’

Jeanie didn’t need to ask who she meant. ‘No, it’s not. You just need to tell him.’

Jeanie was right! She had to tell Cal. Maybe he would say that he had moved on and was happy with Madeleine, hardly the outcome she hoped for, but at least Angel would know. She spent the rest of the day in a fever of anticipation. Every time the door to Frank’s room opened she jumped, thinking it would be Cal. But he had meetings in London and wasn’t due back until the evening. At 6 she went round to Gemma and Tony’s. Tony was on his way back from London and so it was just the two girls.

They sat in Gemma’s bedroom, having a glass of wine, and it felt just like old times when she and Gemma would get ready for a night out together. Angel hadn’t told her friend what she had told Jeanie – somehow she wanted to wait and see what Cal’s reaction would be. Plus she didn’t think she would be able to sit through dinner with Gemma watching her every move.

‘You look fantastic,’ her friend told her. ‘It must be that facial.’

Angel smiled. She didn’t think the facial had anything to do with it. ‘Will you do my make-up, Gem? I’ve looked such a wreck all week, I’d like to look good tonight. What time are we meeting Cal and Tony?’

‘Half-seven . . . and that’s the third time you’ve asked me.’ Gemma looked at her curiously; she was always very good at reading her friend.

‘And what shall I wear?’ Angel asked, holding up a black asymmetric mini dress and a fuchsia tunic dress she’d bought from French Connection that afternoon,
trusting that the clothes question would throw her friend off the scent.

Gemma gave the outfits a critical once over. ‘I’d go for the black dress, and you can borrow my black peep toe Louboutins, so long as you promise not to damage them. If you do, I’ll be forced to kill you.’

‘Or I could buy you some more? That way you won’t be in prison wearing a scuzzy prison outfit.’

Gemma shuddered. ‘Yes, it would be a sea of man-made fabrics . . . I couldn’t cope.’

The two women looked at one other and laughed then, and Angel was almost tempted to tell Gemma what she planned to do. Almost. Instead she kept her secret.

She felt like a teenage girl going on a date as she and Gemma spent the next hour getting ready, and then grabbed a taxi to Hotel du Vin even though it was only a ten-minute walk away. Neither of them wanted to walk in heels, and there was a brisk sea wind which would have played havoc with their hair. Tony and Cal were already there when they walked in, sitting in an intimate corner area of the bar. Gemma sat next to Tony on one of the squashy brown leather sofas, while Angel sat next to Cal on the opposite one. The news from the consultant was very positive, and as a result they all felt they could enjoy themselves. Cal ordered champagne to celebrate Tony’s birthday.

While Tony and Gemma chatted about their day, Cal turned to Angel. ‘You look better,’ he told her.

‘Better than I did yesterday,’ she replied, remembering the encounter with Madeleine.

‘You always look beautiful, but tonight . . . I don’t know. You’re glowing.’

Angel’s stomach flipped over at the compliment, but typically she downplayed it. ‘Must be the facial I had at Jeanie’s.’

Cal smiled, instantly making his handsome face even more handsome, and how Angel wanted to bask in that smile. ‘I missed you today,’ he said softly, so that only she could hear. ‘It felt strange, not seeing you after seeing you all week.’

‘Yeah,’ Angel replied, just as softly, ‘I know what you mean.’ For a few seconds they gazed at each other, then a couple walking past called out Cal’s name.

‘Hey, Sapphire . . . Jay! How are you?’ Cal stood up and shook hands with an extremely good-looking mixed-race man in his twenties and then kissed an equally good-looking woman, with long jet black hair, who looked to be about seven months pregnant. Angel recognised Sapphire as she owned a hen party business and beauty salon in Brighton, though loyalty to Jeanie and Gemma meant Angel had never been there. ‘Why don’t you join us for a drink?’ Cal suggested.

‘I was at school with Cal,’ Sapphire told Angel as she lowered herself on to the sofa. ‘God, Jay, you’re going to have to pull me off this or I’ll never get up!’

‘I’ve heard him talk about you.’ And Angel had seen Sapphire photographed with Cal in the past, and always wondered if there had been something between them.

‘Yeah, he’s gorgeous, isn’t he? But I never fancied him,’ Sapphire continued as if reading her mind.

‘Why not!’ Cal demanded, pretending to be offended.

‘I don’t know. But you never fancied me either, did you?’

‘You had a lucky escape, mate,’ Jay put in. ‘She’s well high-maintenance.’ But the look he exchanged with Sapphire was one of total contentment and Angel suddenly envied them. They seemed so happy.

Sapphire and Jay stayed for ten minutes or so, before the
maître
d
’ called them to their table. As Sapphire
prepared to leave, she said quietly, so that only Angel could hear, ‘It’s so good to see you two back together. I know Cal went through hell when you moved to LA.’ There was an awkward moment when Angel wondered if she should say that she was marrying someone else and Cal had a French supermodel for a lover, but Sapphire blew the party a kiss and headed for the restaurant.

Cal watched them leave then said, ‘I’m so glad to see those two finally got it together. They’re one of those couples that are meant to be.’

He turned and looked at Angel then, his expression serious. ‘I know what you mean,’ she replied. Cal seemed as if he was about to say something else when they too were called to their table.

Angel could hardly eat a thing, she was too aware of Cal sitting opposite her. She really did feel exactly as if she was on a date, which was surely crazy seeing as Cal was her ex-husband. After failing to eat her first course of sea bass and receiving a raised eyebrow from the waiter, Angel went to the bathroom. There she saw Sapphire checking her make-up.