Read Private Life Online

Authors: Jane Smiley

Private Life (2 page)

Where have you been?They've been in jail, but not in San Francisco. That was the thing

that threw me for weeks. They were in San Francisco for a couple of nights, then they

were sent to San Mateo, and then to Santa Cruz County. That's where they were until

they were released and sent here. I couldn't have seen them there, even if I'd found them,

since I'm not kin, but when I heard about this place, I got in touch with my friend and

persuaded him to keep a lookout for them.When did they get here?About ten days

ago.Oh, Pete! This place!It is one step better than jail. But Kiku got sick in jail, and she's

only gotten worse here. He sighed. Now they were at Barn S, then T. She could see the

training track, dusty and unused, with the practice starting gate sitting in the middle of the

sand. They found the infirmary.Pete opened the door and they peeked in. What they saw

was not encouraging--a large, drafty space with a cocrete floor and cracked and partly

boarded-over windows, in which fifteen or twenty beds had been hastily arranged at one

end along with some cabinets. Most of the beds were full, and around most of them

milled what looked like worried relatives, in jackets and sweaters (Tanforan was always

chilly, given that it was in San Bruno), and nurses in white dresses, also wearing jackets.

Two men who might have been doctors were talking together next to one of the

beds.Margaret peered at everyone, and finally recognized Naoko, whose hair had become

truly gray. She was wearing a coat, sitting beside one of the beds, and leaning toward the

patient, who must have been Kiku Kimura, who was heaped with covers against the chill.

Naoko looked up and saw them, then rose and came toward them. Pete followed

Margaret into the huge room. She felt her hat slip, and reached up to pin it, sorry now that

she had worn such a ridiculous item, sorry that she had gazed into the mirror and

indulged her vanity.Naoko was full of smiles, but she looked drawn and anxious. She

took each of their hands and thanked them for coming as if they had done her a great

favor. She led them to the bed.Margaret would not have recognized Mrs. Kimura. She lay

flat on her back with her chin tilted upward and her mouth open. She did not have her

teeth in, so her mouth looked sunken and pitiful. Her hair was smoothed back away from

her forehead, and her eyes were closed. The covers were up to her chin, but one thin hand

poked out to the side, and Naoko took it as soon as they got to the bed. It made Margaret

shiver with cold just to look at her--she couldn't imagine that Kiku had enough body heat

to keep herself warm even under such a pile. When she leaned down to say hello, she

could hear that Mrs. Kimura's breath was labored. Pneumonia.Naoko invited her to sit in

the chair and perched herself on the edge of the bed. Pete stood nearby. Naoko took her

mother's hand again. She said, She told me herself, when we were down in Santa Cruz

and she got a cough there with a fever, that she would get pneumonia from it, and she

would die, but that was a month ago. By the time we got here, I thought she would prove

herself wrong, but the second night, she coughed all night, sitting up and disturbing our

neighbors. There was nothing I could do for her. She glanced over at the doctors. They

don't have anything for us. She smoothed her mother's forehead. If she were me and I

were her, I know there would be some herbs she would gather or a tea she would make.

Oh dear. I ... The doctors were now going from bed to bed, but they didn't approach Mrs.

Kimura.Can they make her more comfortable at least? said Pete.Naoko shook her head

and said again, They have nothing.Margaret looked around. At the end of the room

opposite to the beds were tables and boxes. She saw that the "infirmary" was also being

used as a storage shed. I was wondering so about you. I went to your apartment in San

Francisco. It must have been the morning after you left. I can't imagine what you've been

through.Naoko lifted her chin and closed her eyes. The interrogations were the worst.

Where were our notes on plans for sabotage? Was it my mother, in her travels, who

carried messages between various saboteurs? Were we the ones who planted the tomato

field that pointed like an arrow at the airfield, or did the farmer himself think of that? We

had no idea what they were talking about, but they posed the questions so that they were

impossible to answer. How was Lester receiving his information that he was then sending

to Joe? Through whom was Lester communicating his information to Joe? Had the

Japanese military been in contact with Joe before he went to Japan? Had I ever met Mr.

Masaoko? Was my mother the go-between? Was I the go-between? Whose idea was it for

Joe to move to Japan and enlist in the army there? My mother was so nervous with these

interrogations that it made her sick, and then they asked if she was pretending to be ill so

that she could get to a hospital and communicate with her contacts! All of this she said in

a quiet voice with lowered eyes. Pete kept looking at her, and tears started running down

Margaret's cheeks. And then they came to us one day and said that all the Japs were

going to camps and they were finished with us, so they sent us here. They didn't charge

us with anything, but they said they
retained
the account books I was doing for my

clients in Japantown, just in case there were coded messages in them. So I am still under

suspicion. It was only in that
"retained"
that Margaret sensed the old, independent Naoko

she had known now for thirty-some years. Pete said, What about Lester?Naoko raised her

hand, but gently, so as to not shake the bed. They still have him. He's charged with illegal

gambling. We knew he was doing that. My mother tried to talk him out of that more than

once, but what else did he have in his life? The man he worked for was named Rossi,

Luca Rossi, and they haven't charged him with anything. He just went out and found

himself some other runners. He told Lester, You Japs are going to lose all you got

anyway, so you're not so good for business anymore.Pete looked unsurprised.Mrs.

Kimura gave a strangled gasp, and her eyes fluttered but didn't open. Margaret knew that

it was Andrew, her own husband, who had killed her, that Pete knew it, too, and that if

Pete knew it Naoko knew it. She said, I am so sorry.Mrs. Kimura began to cough,

weakly, and Naoko helped her sit up a little more. After the coughing subsided, she gave

some harsh cries, and then her eyes opened. Her gaze fell on Pete, and then on Margaret.

With great and visible effort she assembled her dignity, and finally she smiled. She

whispered, You come.I would have come much sooner if I'd known where you were.We

were in jail. Then, after a long pause, I didn't know. Margaret thought she must mean that

she didn't know why.You shouldn't have been.Mrs. Kimura said, Lester ... But her voice

died. Margaret exchanged a glance with Pete, then she said, I'm sure Lester had nothing

to do with it. Lester is a good man. He is. It was--But Pete's hand clamped down on her

shoulder, forbidding her confession.The doctors still did not come near. Margaret said to

Naoko, Are you with her all day?Naoko nodded.All night?I don't mind. But I can't keep

warm in here. I go back to my place and warm up and then come here.If they have

nothing for her, then ...But she didn't go on. In fact, Margaret doubted whether Mrs.

Kimura could survive being carried anywhere on the stretcher. She rubbed her hands

together. When they were warm, and Naoko had gotten up to straighten her mother's

covers, she took Mrs. Kimura's hand. It was small, thin, and cold. She tried to hold it as

gently as she could and to impart a little warmth to it. After what seemed like a long time,

she felt the dying woman squeeze her hand, just a bit. Then Mrs. Kimura gasped again

and closed her eyes. Pete leaned down and kissed her gently, once on each cheek, his lips

just brushing the skin, and then it was time to go. Naoko accompanied them to the door

of the infirmary. Pete said, I brought you the things you asked for. I don't know if I can

come back.Naoko nodded.THEY walked for a minute or two in silence. That was my

barn, over there. Barn O. I enjoyed those days. This is a terrible thing to do.Yes, says the

American in me.What does the Russian in you say?I hope they don't get shot.What about

you?I won't get shot.I don't know how to think about any of it, frankly, not any of it. If

only the Japanese hadn't attacked Pearl Harbor! What do they want? What were they

thinking?Darling, they were thinking, Who do those Russians think they are? Why do

you find those English fellows everywhere you turn? What makes the French act so

superior? And look at the Americans! Such a bunch of primitives! A pack of apes in

trousers, telling us what to do! That is what they were thinking.They got to the car. One

of the guards was staring at them. Pete smiled and waved at him. The man kept his

weapon down. Pete unlocked and opened her door, then went around and got in the

driver's side. It was now quite chilly, and they didn't open the windows. As he pressed the

starter, she said, I put all my pictures away, I couldn't stand them anymore. I used to love

them so, but now ...They backed out of their spot and turned down the line of

cars.Darling, there are whole categories of pictures that you never even looked at. Do you

remember any of the scowling samurai we saw? With their teeth bared and their

eyebrows lowered?Yes, but--Those are traditional Japanese pictures, too.I didn't like

those.They drove out of the gate, waving innocently at the two guards in their little cabin,

and then they made their way to Camino Real, and turned north. Pete said, What is the

lesson to be learned?Margaret flared up. It was Andrew--But Pete stopped her again. I

don't blame Andrew.But he--Pete raised her hand to his lips. It was clear he wouldn't talk

about that.She felt terribly cold inside her neat suit and her heavy tweed coat. Her hat was

still on her head. She unpinned it and set it on the back seat, then shoved her hands in her

pockets, but there was no way to get warm. She did not even shiver. Pressed down by her

heavy blankets, Kiku Kimura would be too weak to shiver, Margaret thought.They drove

on in silence, this time crossing to the East Bay and passing Berkeley and Oakland,

where they were in the sunlight. San Francisco, so beautiful in the morning, was now

gray and invisible. They sat in the line of cars, waiting for the ferry at Benicia. Have I

told you that I'm moving to Vancouver?Pete, you've hardly told me anything. But

Vancouver! Have you been interrogated, too? Her hand flew to her mouth, then she

looked around, but no one, either on the wharf or in the other cars, was looking at

them.Pete laughed his old laugh, the easy, brave laugh that she found so irresistible now,

the very laugh she had once distrusted. As he drove onto the ferry, he said, Not yet, but

sometimes I do have the sense I'm being watched or followed, though when I look around

I never see an extraordinarily tall, mustachioed man. No, darling, it's much simpler than

that. I'm busted again.The tall, mustachioed man would be Andrew.She tried to adopt a

bit of Pete's teasing tone, but she was alarmed. You always said armaments were a sure

thing!Not sure enough. Some innovations tempted me. I should have stuck to mere

bullets. I don't know what I should have stuck to, perhaps. But I've found a position in

Vancouver.As what?Now the ferry engine rumbled, and then they backed away from the

wharf. The car shivered around them.As a butler. It might be nice, just keeping order. I

think I'll enjoy it. Do you remember my friend Bibikova, from St. Petersburg? She

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