RISK (9 page)

Ellie

"I trust you, pal." Crew claps Nolan on the back. "I don't know if you know what the hell you're doing, but I trust you. Don't fuck this up like you did with the others."

"Did you fuck up someone else's air conditioner?" Adley asks Nolan as she closes the door behind River. It took him less than thirty seconds to scoop up his T-shirt and leave. I was just as surprised as he was when Crew said he owns the building.

"He's fucked up a few," Crew grumbles. "He promised me, this time, it would be different."

"It will be different." Nolan scrubs his hand over the back of his neck. "You have my word."

It's obvious that they're not talking about air conditioners, but Adley hasn't clued in yet. "It doesn't matter to me if you fuck it up because if you do, you have to replace it. That's in my rental agreement. If something breaks and isn't repairable, it has to be replaced within a reasonable amount of time."

"I have doubts that this one is replaceable." Crew's gaze volleys between Nolan and me. "Do what you need to do, Nolan. Bear in mind, that if this goes badly, you owe me."

"Understood," Nolan replies curtly.

"I'm late for my date." Adley leans forward to kiss my cheek. "Do you want me to relay a message to Wolf through Randy?"

"If I want to talk to Wolf I can text him myself," I murmur even though the only reason I took Liam's number when I was leaving Cremza is that he insisted. He thinks he can help me further my career, but I'm not convinced.  "Go have fun, Ad."

"You too." A sly grin slides over her lips. "I'll call you later."

"Are you headed uptown?" Crew turns to Adley. "I'm getting an Uber. We can ride together if that works for you."

"It works for me." Adley nods. "What's the name of that nail polish you're wearing? I've been looking for a shade just like that."

All eyes drop to Crew's hands and the bright pink polish messily painted onto his right thumbnail. He wags it in the air. "This is our Pink Twist. It just came in today. It looks like my niece needs to keep her day job. She's not going to cut it as a manicurist."

"I'm buying a bottle." Adley reaches for his hand to bring it in for a closer look. "I think this would look good on me."

"It suits you." Crew cups her hand in his. "Ellie can bring a bottle home from work for you. No charge."

"Seriously?" She holds his hand to her chest. "Thank you."

"No thanks necessary." His smile widens as he stares at her. "You ready to head out?"

"Absolutely." She abruptly lets go of his hand.  "I'm going to Axel NY."

"Good choice." Crew gestures toward the door. "I've been. Great food."

Adley launches into a story about the last time she was at Axel. I hear her say something about her ex, Leo, as the door shuts behind them.

"Time for me to get to work." Nolan slides his shirt from his shoulders. "There's a gallon of your favorite ice cream in the freezer if you're hungry."

I smile in spite of my resolve not to. I didn't expect him to show up tonight. I was shocked when I turned to see him and Crew standing in the entryway of my apartment. "Cookie dough?"

"That's what your friend got for you at Cremza. I assumed it was your favorite."

"It is." I draw in a breath. "What flavor were you buying the other night?"

He hesitates briefly before a grin pulls at the corner of his lips. "Blue bubble gum."

I cover my mouth with my hand to shield my broad smile. "I would have pegged you for more of a vanilla or strawberry type."

"Oh really?" A bead of sweat rolls down his muscular chest. My gaze follows.

"Yes, but I was wrong. The secret is out. The owner of Matiz Cosmetics likes blue bubble gum ice cream."

His hands drop to his pants. He loosens the belt and then unfastens his slacks. "The owner of Matiz Cosmetics likes many things. Bubble gum ice cream is right up there with a certain blue-eyed redhead."

"Are you taking your pants off?"

"If that's a request, the answer is yes." He draws in a deep breath. "It's so damn hot in here. I'm just trying to get comfortable so I can fix your air conditioner before I pass the fuck out."

I bite back a giggle. "The only tools we have are in a drawer in the kitchen."

Cocking his head to the side, he looks directly at me. "Show me what you've got, Ellie."

***

"There's an empty furnished apartment on the second floor with a working air conditioner." He pushes his phone back into the front pocket of his pants. "It's a two bedroom. You can stay there tonight and the new unit will be installed here first thing tomorrow."

"So that strange smell that was coming from it was a fried motor?"

"That's the culprit." He looks over at the dismantled air conditioner on the floor near the window. He had the problem diagnosed within minutes, and it took even less time for him to call someone to arrange the delivery and installation of the new unit as well as accommodations for Adley and me for the night.  "It's not worth trying to fix it. Someone from the repair crew will have the new one installed in no time."

"Will it be River?" I ask quietly.

His arms cross over his chest. My eyes fall once again to the skin that is exposed right where his pants hang open. I can see the barest hint of his black boxer briefs and the trail of dark hair that disappears beneath them.

"No." He narrows his eyes. "You don't actually like that guy."

"Are you asking me if I do or telling me I don't?"

"I'm stating a fact."

"I might like him."

"But you don't," he says assuredly.

"You don't know that, Nolan."

"I know you like me." He straightens his stance. "River and I are nothing alike, so it stands to reason that you don't like him."

"Am I anything like the woman who wrote on your hand?"

His gaze drops to his left hand. He flips it over to reveal a now bare palm. "Who said it was a woman who wrote on my hand?"

I did. It was an easy assumption to make. An uneven heart was drawn near his thumb. It was a sweet accent to the phrase I LUV U which was scribbled in black ink across the middle of his palm.  "A man wrote it?"

"Strike two. You have one last chance before I get to ask you a question."

"You wrote it for someone or maybe to yourself?" I joke.

"If I wrote it I'd take the time to write out each letter. I'm not lazy when it comes to those three words." He studies me, his expression softening. "But no, I limit the self-love to messages written on my bathroom mirror. I try to keep the ego in check in public."

I laugh. "Do you think you're doing a good job with that?"

"Fair." He half-shrugs. "I'd say I'm doing a fair job with it. It's my turn to ask you a question."

My eyes flick over his body. It's now dotted with sweat. I follow the path of his chest, to his neck and finally to his face. His hair has morphed from styled perfection to damp tousled mess. Somehow he looks even more handsome than he did when he first got here. "What's the question?"

"Can I call you Bean too?" His eyes soften as he smiles. "Say yes."

"No." I shake my head quickly. "You can't."

He leans forward until his lips are almost brushing mine. His voice is barely a whisper. The movement of his mouth, so close to my own, drives my pulse to race. "Can I call you my date for tomorrow night?"

I draw in a quiet breath. "I remember something about a good bottle of cabernet and a steak. Is that still on the menu?"

"We can have whatever you want. If you agree to have dinner with me, I'll eat dirt and drink week old coffee. Just tell me it's a go."

"What about my job?" I pause and pull back. "I lost one job because of a man. I don't want to repeat history."

He tips his head. His eyes are pinned to mine. "That man is an idiot. In case you haven't noticed yet, I'm not. "

"I know it's just one date, but I like this job. I want to keep it for now."

"For now?" He studies my face. "You have aspirations beyond Matiz?"

"Of course," I answer confidently. "I'll tighten your security and then I'll chase my dream job."

"What's your dream job, Ellie?"

It feels too personal to share. It's the only job I've wanted since I was a kid. One day I'll be a member of the New York Police Department. I'm determined.

"I might tell you about that on our date if we can come to an agreement about my job security."

He nods. "As of tomorrow morning, you report to Crew. He's your boss. You run everything past him. I have no say in anything related to your position at Matiz."

I bite the corner of my lip. "You'll honor that even if we end up in a place where we're not on speaking terms?"

"That will never happen."

"It could happen, Nolan."

"It won't. I can assure you, that I won't stop speaking to you."

"You can't see into the future," I point out. "You don't know what tomorrow will bring."

"I do know what tomorrow will bring." He reaches forward to push back a piece of hair that has fallen loose of my ponytail. "Tomorrow I'm going to have dinner with you."

I don't move as he glides his fingers from my cheek down to my neck. I'm still dressed in what I hastily put on after having a cool shower when I got home from work.

I meant to throw a T-shirt over my bikini top, but I've been too pre-occupied with everything that's happened since Nolan arrived. For the first time tonight, I feel exposed. Goosebumps crawl up my skin at his touch.

His gaze lingers on my mouth. "So we're in agreement that I'll pick you up here tomorrow at eight for dinner?"

I dart my hand in the air between us. "Yes, we have an agreement. We'll go on a date and Crew is my boss. Let's shake on it."

His tongue slicks his bottom lip as his hand slides to the back of my neck. He cups it, tilting my head slightly. He leans close, his breath rushing over my cheek. "Let's seal it with a kiss."

I breathe in the masculine scent of his skin when I feel his soft lips brush across my forehead.

Nolan

I should have been all in. Lips, hands, cock. She was right there. Her mouth inches from mine, her breathing as rough as my own.

I wanted the memory of last night just as it was. The lingering kiss on her forehead, her fingers drifting to my bare chest and then my hand tightening its grip on the soft, smooth skin at the back of her neck.

I held back, instead staring into her eyes so she could see something in me that the asshole who fucked her over doesn't possess. I don't know him, but I want to be a better man than him.

When the property manager knocked on the door, Ellie pivoted away from me and the moment was lost. I didn't expect the guy to show up until I'd left, but dropping Crew's name during our phone call was all it took. He was there within minutes with keys in hand, eager to take Ellie to her temporary home on the second floor.

She changed her clothes, thanked me awkwardly while the guy watched our every move and then I left. I exited the building to a warm breeze and air thin enough that I could finally breathe. That's what I did. I stood on the street, looking up at her apartment window and once the light flicked off, I finally turned away. I walked home through the streets of the city I love. This city has taken so much and given me more than I deserve.

It's the same city I'm now surveying from the window of my office. People scatter as they step off a bus. Each of them is in a rush to get to a job that steals hours from their life just to pad their bank account enough that they can barely maintain the cost of living in Manhattan.

Others wander the streets aimlessly in search of anything that will give them the hope they need to make it through another day. Those are the people no one thinks about when they're window shopping on Fifth Avenue. I think about them. I still search their faces looking for Kip.

"You cost me a new air conditioner." Crew chuckles as he walks into my office through the open door.

It's too early for Eda to be at her desk. I was up at dawn, trading breakfast for a call to London to discuss the launch of our first international location. By the time I exited my apartment the sun was flooding the streets with the lazy morning light that lures people from their beds.

I skipped the routine of stopping for a cup of coffee around the corner from my office. The smile of the tall black-haired barista who always wears our Classic Crimson lipstick used to be the perfect complement to my medium cup of dark roast. We never exchanged a word, only a knowing glance after seeing each other at a park on the Upper West Side. I walked right past the café today, my mind consumed with thoughts of Ellie.

"It was worth it," I volley back. "You're here early."

"I'm trying to impress the boss," he jokes. "Why are you here? I thought you'd still be at Ellie's place. That or in intensive care because of heat exhaustion. Jesus, it was hot in her apartment."

He has no fucking idea.

"They needed the new unit." I sit in my office chair. "You should run a check on all the air conditioners in that building if they're as dated as the one in Ellie's place."

"I've already made that call." He settles in one of the chairs in front of my desk. "My dad had those units installed years ago. It's time to update them."

I nod. He opened the door for a conversation about his dad that I'm slamming shut. My relationship with Crew's dad is strained. Our father-pseudo son bond was ripped to shreds when he shoved a corporate knife in my dad's back during his hostile takeover of the small investment firm they launched together. 

It's business first, family second for most of the Benton family. It was the same for me at one point. My priorities changed, as have my allegiances.

Crew is the closest thing I have to a brother. I respect his relationship with his dad, but I don't huddle on the sidelines with the two of them anymore.

"The more time I spend with Ellie, the more I realize that she's nothing like Kip."

I'm caught off guard by the words. I glance at him. His face is impassive. There's nothing readable there. To him, Kip was just a girl who lived on the street a decade ago. The first time he tagged along when I took her a sandwich he introduced himself as Jeff. It was just one of the many names he used back then to keep girls from tracking him down after he'd had his fill of them.

He saw her only a handful of times. She was always wearing a black knit cap I'd given her pulled down over her forehead. Their conversations were consistently one-sided with Crew telling her stories about his adventures in Paris the summer before we met her.

He's given me shit repeatedly since then about my inability to forget about her. Even though he continually reminds me that he can't recall the barest details about her, he still weighs in whenever I ask him to.

When we knew Kip, he used to joke that my ongoing interest in her was all about the driving need to be her first. The thought churned my stomach. She was an innocent. Her trust in me wasn't currency I'd use to barter anything from her, especially that part of her soul.

I didn't want her that way. I couldn't imagine her that way. She was too young, and I was too lost in the grief of my grandmother's death that winter to see straight. I saw someone who needed help when I looked at Kip, and I know she saw the same in me.

"They're different," I agree. "Personality wise they are nothing alike. I still think Ellie looks like Kip."

He shakes his head. "I don't see it. I've always said that Kip was close to our age. I know you think she was younger but you're wrong, pal."

How do you gauge someone's age when they're thin and frail because they go to bed hungry every night? Skin is deceptive when it's burnt from the bitterly cold winds of a nor'easter.  I asked Kip how old she was, but like every other question, an answer never came. It didn't matter to me. It didn't change a thing between us. We were unlikely friends, but for those two months, it worked for us.

"Besides," he continues without any prompt from me, "Ellie would have recognized you by now, pal. If she were Kip she'd know you were Rigs."

Trauma has a way of distorting memories. I should know. I cling to vague images of Kip's face that morph into something different every time I see a woman I think might be her.

"What's on your agenda today?" I easily change the subject. I'm not going to debate the topic of Kip with Crew again. We've done it too often with no resolution. It's always felt like we're digging up the past with two very different shovels.

"I'm doing that marketing meeting at nine," he says, his gaze skimming the screen of his phone. "I'm booked for lunch with my brother, and I'm dedicating my afternoon to chasing down the chemist who is working on that new mascara we want to launch in the spring."

It's a typical day for Crew. Since we graduated from college, he's had a high ranking position waiting for him in a tower across town that bears the Benton name. Still, he took a seat next to me when I inherited Matiz.

I'm not a fool. I know that eventually during one of the weekly lunches he has with his brother, Kade, he'll make the decision to jump the Matiz ship to work alongside his family. I'm preparing for that eventuality by bringing new people on board at a steady clip. I don't want to miss a beat when he finally takes the plunge.

"You still up for going to Club Aeon tonight?" He glances at me. "We can head out late. Eleven works for me, and it gives you time at home after you break free of this place."

"I'm clocking out at noon today. I'll spend the afternoon at home. I have a date tonight, so you're flying solo to the club."

"With Ellie?"

I run a hand over my tie to straighten it. "We're having dinner together."

"What if it turns into something?" He studies me. "I've seen you around her. You're different. Your dick's not driving this thing. It's more."

It is more. I don't know what it is. I can't tell if I'm infatuated with her or if this is awe. It could be pure lust with a side of admiration. I have no fucking idea what I'm feeling. All I know is that tonight I'll be sitting across a table from Ellie with the intention of going back to her place so I can sink my cock into that beautiful body.

"It's just a dinner, Crew."

He rises to his feet. "Don't let this get ahead of you. If this goes somewhere, you need to sit Ellie down and explain a few things to her."

I know exactly what he's talking about. The reminder is not only unwelcome. It's unnecessary. "I've got it covered."

As I watch him exit my office, I look down at my left hand and the fading message on my palm.

I didn't see it when I showered because I was too busy daydreaming about how Ellie looked last night. I was so engrossed in what I wanted to say during my call to London that I didn't notice it when I was getting dressed.

I see it now. I feel it now.

She was fast asleep when I got home last night so she must have written it early this morning when she crawled into bed with me. The light from the attached bathroom was filtering into my bedroom through the door I'd left ajar to offer her a safe path in case she needed me.

I felt the rustle of the blanket as she settled beneath it and the pull on my hand. I was so exhausted I kept my eyes closed as I listened to her hum a soft melody while she traced her delicate fingertips over my hand. Or what I thought were her fingertips.

I LOVE YOU

Those three words, written with so much care in black ink across my palm, are a symbol of the life I keep hidden from the world. It's a life I protect at all costs.