Saving His Little Miracle (Mills & Boon Medical) (7 page)

It was a rare insight into his past behaviour and Vincenzo knew that he would take it on board. Maybe he was too hard on his staff and needed to lighten up occasionally. If it meant they performed better under pressure then it would be worth loosening the reins a little.

The thought lingered as the operation ran its course. By the time Simon declared that he had done all he could, Vincenzo was feeling fairly confident about the outcome. He accompanied the younger man to the changing room, shaking his head when Simon expressed his doubts about what he had done.

‘In my opinion, you did everything possible for the child. Now it’s a question of waiting to see what happens.’ He shrugged. ‘We can only do our best, Dr Rivers. No more than that.’

‘I know.’ Simon grimaced as he tossed his gown into the hamper. ‘It’s just that you always feel that you could have done more, don’t you?’

‘Sì,’
Vincenzo agreed, somewhat surprised that he should make such an admission. He never voiced any doubts about what he had done. Even when he wasn’t one hundred per cent confident about the outcome, he preferred to keep it to himself. Admitting that he had concerns seemed like an admission of failure and yet all of a sudden he was willing to concede that there had been times when he had felt that he hadn’t quite come up to the mark.

‘It’s only natural. When you care about what you do—as we both do—you are bound to wonder if you could have gone that bit further, tried that bit harder. But we’re only men, Dr Rivers. We can only do what we can and hope that it’s enough.’

‘You’re right. I know you are. I just needed to be reminded.’ Simon gave him a grateful smile and headed into the shower.

Vincenzo followed more slowly, wondering why he had opened up like that. He had never felt the need to do so before and he wasn’t sure what had brought about such a change in his behaviour. Was it because he was feeling more emotional than usual? Allowing his feelings to surface rather than keeping them safely buried?

He sighed. He knew it was true and it was worrying to face the fact that he was no longer fully in control. He couldn’t afford to relax his guard, especially now. He had to be able to take a step back, to distance himself if Lowri agreed to his suggestion about how they should conceive this baby. If he allowed himself to get emotionally involved, it would never work;
he
would never be able to walk away afterwards, as he had to do. After all, it wasn’t him Lowri wanted but the child he could give her. He must never forget that.

* * *

Lowri got Poppy Meadows settled and then went to find the child’s parents. Although Simon would speak to them shortly, she knew they would be anxious for news. They leapt to their feet when she opened the door to the relatives’ room and she smiled reassuringly at them.

‘Poppy’s back from Theatre. Mr Rivers will fill you in on all the details but I thought you’d want to know that she’s come through the operation.’

‘Thank heavens!’ Sarah Meadows sank down onto the couch and buried her face in her hands. Her voice was muffled when she continued. ‘I so afraid that she...she...’

She couldn’t go on but Lowri understood. She too had been in this position and knew how it felt to fear the worst. Sitting down beside Sarah, she gave her a hug.

‘It’s early days yet but she’s a tough little thing, a real fighter, and that will go in her favour.’

She looked round when the door opened, feeling her heart jolt when she saw Vincenzo follow Simon into the room.

All of a sudden she wished he had been there when Megan had been so ill. Maybe it wouldn’t have affected the outcome but it would have helped
her
to have him there. The thought startled her because she had never once considered contacting him. He had failed to reply to her letter informing him that she was pregnant so there had seemed no point. Now, however, the sense of loss she felt at not having been able to share the experience with him stunned her. Having a child who was critically ill brought people together, so was that what she would have wanted, to create a bond between them?

Lowri shook her head to dislodge the idea but it refused to budge. It settled into her mind and stayed there throughout the whole time that Simon was speaking to the Meadows. When he stood up to leave, Lowri shot to her feet, desperate to escape from a situation that was in danger of creating so much upheaval in her life. There was no bond between her and Vincenzo, neither did she want there to be. Especially not after what he had proposed earlier!

Lowri escorted the parents back to the unit and left them there. Simon had already left when she went back to the office but Vincenzo was still there. She paused in the doorway, wondering what she was going to do. Vincenzo was right—artificial insemination wasn’t nearly as effective as the more usual way of conceiving a child. But could she do it, could she sleep with him again to save Megan?

‘Dr Rivers is a very skilful surgeon. I was impressed by his work.’

Lowri started, only then realising that she had been standing there without uttering a word. Colour ran up her cheeks but she made herself meet Vincenzo’s eyes. She couldn’t allow her feelings to get in the way of what needed to be done. She had to concentrate on Megan and what it could mean for her if she gave birth to a child who proved to be a suitable match for her. How she felt about sleeping with Vincenzo was of very little importance compared to that.

‘He’s highly regarded by both the patients and the staff,’ she agreed quietly. She took a quick breath, needing to get everything straight before her courage deserted her. ‘How long do you plan on staying in England?’

‘I haven’t decided.’ He gave a little shrug. ‘There’s nothing urgent at home that needs my attention.’

‘But what about your work? Are you able to take time off without it causing a problem?’ she persisted, trying to stem the nervous fluttering of her heart. If he wasn’t planning to go back home once he had seen Megan then did it mean he was hoping to put his plan into action? The thought filled her with a rush of panic.

‘I’ve been off work for the past six months so I’m sure they can manage without me for a while longer,’ he said smoothly.

‘Off work!’ She exclaimed in surprise. ‘Why? Have you been ill?’

He held up his right hand. ‘I had a skiing accident earlier in the year and damaged a nerve in my arm. Thankfully, it appears to have healed but I need to be sure that I’ve regained full mobility in my hand before I return to Theatre.’

‘I had no idea...’

She broke off because there was no reason why she should have known. They had led completely separate lives for the past five years and for some reason the thought made her feel even more nervous about what they were planning. Leaving aside the matter of how this baby was to be conceived, was it right to have another child when they had no intention of raising it together? Yet if they didn’t go ahead, what would it mean for Megan? This was the best chance of providing a suitable donor for her, possibly the only chance.

‘There’s no reason why you should have known,’ Vincenzo stated coolly, and for some reason Lowri found herself taking exception to the lack of emotion in his voice.

‘No. I’d served my purpose, hadn’t I? I doubt if you gave me much thought after that night.’

‘I doubt if you thought about me very much either,’ Vincenzo countered. His expression darkened. ‘Did it never occur to you that your letter might have gone astray when I didn’t reply?’

‘No.’ She shrugged, refusing to allow him to make her feel guilty. ‘I naturally assumed you weren’t interested.’

‘So you never considered writing to me again?’ His tone was harsher than ever and she glared at him.

‘No. I didn’t. We had an affair, Vincenzo. A holiday romance, if you prefer to call it that, like thousands of people do each year.’ She gave a little laugh, hearing the bitterness it held but unable to do anything about it. Maybe she hadn’t expected him to be delighted by the news that she was pregnant but his apparent lack of interest had hurt. Now all the old pain came bubbling to the surface. ‘We didn’t swear undying love to each other. We just slept together!’

‘Oh, sorry. I’ll come back later.’

Lowri spun round when she heard Amy’s voice but the nurse had already hurried away. She sighed because the last thing she wanted was people talking about her. She had told no one the identity of Megan’s father apart from Cerys, of course, preferring to keep it to herself rather than become the subject of yet more gossip. She’d had her fill of that when folk had found out about Jonathan so whenever anyone had asked her about Megan’s father, she had told them simply that they were no longer together. Now she couldn’t help wondering how long it would be before everyone knew that Megan was the result of a holiday fling.

She bit back a groan as an even worse thought struck her. She could just imagine what people were going to think if she got pregnant again!

* * *

Vincenzo unpacked his case and then took a shower. Wrapping himself in one of the towelling robes he found hanging behind the bathroom door, he went back to the bedroom. The evening stretched before him and he had no idea what he was going to do to pass the time. He had intended to invite Lowri out for dinner but it hadn’t seemed like such a good idea in the end. She’d seemed very upset at the thought of the other nurse overhearing their conversation and he couldn’t help wondering why. Was she ashamed of the circumstances that had led to Megan’s birth?

He sighed. He had never thought about the impact it must have had on her life to find herself pregnant by a man she barely knew. It must have made the situation all the more difficult for her and he couldn’t help wondering why she had decided to keep the baby. Lowri could have had the pregnancy terminated and he would have known nothing about it. Was that what he would have preferred?

He sat down on the bed, trying to work out how he felt. He had never wanted children yet the thought that Megan might never have been born hurt. It tugged at emotions he hadn’t known he possessed, struck deep into a place he had never visited before. He had never met the child, had only seen photographs of her, and yet he realised with surprise that he cared about her. He
genuinely
cared.

The sudden trilling of his mobile phone cut through his musings. Vincenzo picked it up, his heart hammering when he recognised the number as that of the lab where he had taken the DNA samples. ‘Lombardi,’ he said curtly, holding his breath as the caller identified himself and then gave him the results.
‘Grazie,’
he murmured before he broke the connection.

Tossing the phone onto the bed, he went to the window and stared out across the steel-grey waters of the river Mersey. The tests had confirmed that he was indeed Megan’s father and although it was only what he had expected, it still came as a shock. Closing his eyes, he let the full import of what he had heard sink in.

He was a father. He had a child, a little girl who desperately needed his help if she was to survive. All of a sudden, Vincenzo realised that nothing mattered more than that, that it made no difference how hard it was for him: Megan’s needs took precedence. Maybe he hadn’t planned on being a father but that’s what he was and what he intended to be too—with or without Lowri’s approval.

His mouth thinned as he moved away from the window and started to dress. He had a feeling that Lowri wouldn’t be happy about the idea of him playing an active role in his daughter’s life but there was nothing he could do about it. He intended to be a proper father to their daughter and a proper father to this new baby they were planning to have as well. They were his flesh and blood, they carried his genes and he would make sure they bore his name too!

* * *

Lowri had just got Megan settled in front of the television when the doorbell rang. Leaving the sitting-room door ajar, she went to answer it. Megan had been very fretful since she had brought her home from Cerys’s house and Lowri wasn’t sure what was wrong with her. Not even the prospect of choosing the much-anticipated wig had cheered her up.

Her heart caught as she unlocked the front door. The consultant had warned her about the need to be on her guard. Megan was highly susceptible to any kind of infection at the present moment and she could only pray that it wasn’t that. It would be too cruel if Megan ended up back in hospital when she had only just been allowed to come home.

‘
Buona sera
, Lowri.’

Lowri started when she found Vincenzo standing on the step. ‘What are you doing here?’ she demanded, her tone less welcoming than it might have been. However, bearing in mind what had happened earlier in the day, she felt she could be forgiven for not welcoming him with open arms.

‘I came to see you. And Megan, of course.’

His tone was bland yet Lowri sensed a certain nuance in it that made her heart race. She had a feeling that there was more to this visit than he was prepared to admit and it was unsettling not to know what exactly was going on.

‘Now really isn’t a good time, Vincenzo,’ she began, then stopped when a small voice piped up.

‘Who is it, Mummy? Is it the lady with my wig?’

Lowri turned, her heart aching when she saw her daughter standing behind her. Even though Megan had lost all her hair during her treatment, the resemblance between her and Vincenzo was so marked that it was impossible not to tell that she was his daughter. Vincenzo must have noticed it too because she heard him draw in his breath.

Lowri glanced at him, feeling tears spring to her eyes when she saw the expression on his face. That he was deeply moved by his first sight of their child wasn’t in doubt and something inside her seemed to open up at the thought. For five long years she had tried her best to blank out the memory of that night. Now she realised that it would be impossible not to think about it.

She and Vincenzo had made love that night and by doing so they had created this precious child, a child who desperately needed their help if she was to survive. While she had always been prepared to do whatever was necessary to save Megan, she had never expected that Vincenzo would feel the same.