Shadow Play (36 page)

Authors: Iris Johansen

*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *

“I'm not a fool. I grew up on the streets, and know all about the scum who are out there.” Eve looked wonderingly up at him. “But I have to hope. She's my baby. I have to bring her home. How can I live if I don't hope?”

He felt as if he were breaking apart inside. He could feel her pain, and it was becoming his pain. “Then hope.” His voice was hoarse. “And I'll hope with you. We'll explore every way we can to find her safe and alive. There's nothing I won't do. Just stick with me and give me a little help.”

She hesitated, gazing up at him.

Believe me, he urged her silently. Put your hand in mine, trust me, let me guide you. Something strange is happening here, but it's not anything bad. I won't let it hurt you.

She stood staring at him. She could feel it, sense what he couldn't say, he realized. In her pain, she couldn't define the nature of what she was sensing, but perhaps it would become clear to her later.

As, God help him, it was becoming clear to him.

*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *

But it was years before Eve had healed enough to realize that they could become lovers instead of friends. During that time he had almost lost her. The depression had been too severe, the heartbreak of her loss a nightmare from which she couldn't wake. But then something happened, she had begun to dream of Bonnie. Or at least that was what she had told him. She had thought she was hallucinating, thought that grief had made her mind fly to any solace possible. Before that, she had given up on life and wanted only to be with her Bonnie. She had only been stopped by the realization that the visits from Bonnie were not hallucinations.

It had taken Joe a lot longer than Eve to accept the possibility, but he had finally done it. Bonnie had kept Eve alive when he was losing her. Screw reality. Accept whatever miracle had kept her here with him.

Eve drew a deep breath and gave him a quick kiss. “Which makes me luckier than a lot of people. I refuse to feel sorry for myself. I have you. I sometimes have Bonnie. I'll have Jane as she moves in and out of our lives.” She nodded at the FedEx box across the room. “And I have a chance to help the parents of that little girl find resolution.” She got to her feet and took a sip before she put the cup down on the coffee table. “So slap me if you see me go broody on you.” She headed for the kitchen. “How about lasagna for supper? There's something about the smell of baking garlic bread that lifts the spirits and makes everything seem all right.”

“Besides outrageously tempting the taste buds. Sounds good. Need help?”

“Nah, you know my culinary expertise is nonexistent. I'll do frozen.”

“Eve.”

She glanced over her shoulder.

He had to make sure that was the only problem. He was frowning, and his gaze was narrowed. “It's just Jane leaving? You've been pretty quiet the last couple weeks. Nothing else is wrong?”

He could see she was tempted to deny it and put him off but she couldn't do it. They had been together for years, and their relationship was based not only on love but honesty. “Nothing that can't be fixed.” She shrugged. “I guess I'm just going through some kind of emotional adjustment. I wanted everything to stay the same. I wanted to keep Jane close to me. Mine. Though I always knew she didn't really belong to me. She was too independent and was ten going on thirty when we adopted her. And Bonnie was mine but then she was taken.” She smiled. “And that spirit Bonnie, who comes to visit me now and then, is very much her own self now. Beloved, but only flashes of being mine.” Her smile faded. “But I'll take it. I just want to keep her with me, too. I don't want anything to change.”

“Why should that change?”

“It shouldn't change. That's what I told Bonnie. Nothing has to change.”

His brows rose. He had hoped the problem wouldn't have anything to do with Bonnie. How the hell could he fix anything having to do with a spirit? “Ah, your Bonnie. She said something to disturb you? When?”

“A couple weeks ago. She scared me. She said she didn't know how long she'd be able to keep coming to me. She said everything was going to change.”

“How? Why?”

“She didn't know. She just wanted to warn me.”

“Very frustrating.” He chuckled. Keep it light and off-hand. “If your daughter has to pay you visits, I'd just as soon she not upset you like this.”

“That's what I told her.”

He got to his feet and took her in his arms. “And so you should. Send her to me and I'll reinforce it.” He kissed her. “Though I doubt if that's going to happen. She only appeared to me a couple times just to make sure I knew that you weren't hallucinating.” He looked directly into her eyes. “I know you need Bonnie. She's the anchor that keeps you here with me. You were spiraling downward and almost died before you had your ghost visits from Bonnie. She brought you back, and I thank God for her.” He paused. “But if for some reason she stopped coming, I want you to know that we'll make it all right.” He had to make her believe it. Their love was strong and yet he could still remember how fragile she had been during those first years together. There were times when he hadn't been able to help her then, but he could now. There was nothing he wouldn't do, no battle he wouldn't fight. His voice was soft, urgent. “I have so much love for you, Eve. I'm full of it, you're my center. You always have been and always will be. If your Bonnie drifts away from you, I'll just pour more of that love toward you. I'll find a way to stop you from hurting. I promise you.”

He meant every word. Was he overreacting? There was a good chance. He usually tried to keep the way he felt about her low key and not let her see the true depths. It was a throwback from the time when he'd had to pretend that love didn't exist. These days he tried to strike a balance and keep the intensity down to make sure it didn't overwhelm her. She was strong, but her career was difficult, and so was the knowledge that she knew what he felt for her bordered on obsession. Sometimes he couldn't pull it off. Casual and easy weren't in his DNA.

It was okay. She was gazing up into his face and he could see no pressure or stress, nothing but warmth and love in her expression. “Hey, I'm just having a few twinges, nothing major. It just seemed when Jane got on that plane that the changes were starting. A sort of harbinger of things to come.” She pushed him away and turned back to the freezer. “But change can be good, too, can't it? After all, Bonnie wasn't definite about anything. Forget it.” She took out the lasagna. “Jane told me she'd call me as soon as she got off the plane in London. I think I'll start working on the new reconstruction after dinner so that I'll be awake when she callsâ¦”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

IRIS JOHANSEN
is the
New York Times
bestselling author of
Your Next Breath
,
The Perfect Witness, Live to See Tomorrow
,
Silencing Eve
,
Hunting Eve
,
Taking Eve
,
Sleep No More
,
What Doesn't Kill You
,
Bonnie
,
Quinn
,
Eve
,
Chasing the Night
,
Eight Days to Live
,
Blood Game
,
Deadlock
,
Dark Summer
,
Pandora's Daughter
,
Quicksand
,
Killer Dreams
,
On the Run
,
Countdown
,
Firestorm
,
Fatal Tide, Dead Aim
, and more. And with her son Roy Johansen, she has coauthored
Sight Unseen
,
Close Your Eyes
,
Shadow Zone
,
Storm Cycle,
and
Silent Thunder
. You can sign up for email updates
here
.