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Authors: Jimmy Fallon,the Writers of Late Night

Tags: #HUM000000

Thank You Notes

 

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Table of Contents

Copyright Page

T
HIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO THE WRITERS OF
L
ATE
N
IGHT WITH
J
IMMY
F
ALLON
.

I
T WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE WITHOUT YOU
. W
ELL, WITHOUT YOU AND MY FLAWLESS DELIVERY
.

 

Acknowledgments

 

I may “write” the thank you notes, but thank you to the people who actually wrote them:

David Angelo

Alex Baze

Michael Blieden

Patrick Borelli

Gerard Bradford

Jeremy Bronson

Mike DiCenzo

Janine DiTullio

Ben Dougan

Wayne Federman

Anthony Jeselnik

Casey Jost

Eric Ledgin

Tim McAuliffe

A.D. Miles

Morgan Murphy

Amy Ozols

Bobby Patton

Gavin Purcell

Diallo Riddle

Jon Rineman

Bashir Salahuddin

Justin Shanes

Michael Shoemaker

Bobby Tisdale

Ali Waller

 

This book could not have been put together without the hard work of Kelly Powers, John MacDonald, Joel Knutson, Beth Rodgers, Edmond Hawkins, Lloyd Bishop, Brian McDonald, Risa Abrams, Erica Lancaster, Caroline Eppright, and Nick Caruso.

Thank you to the
Late Night
team for getting me through every day: Michael Shoemaker, Gavin Purcell, A.D. Miles, Hillary Hunn, Alice Michaels, and Katie Hockmeyer.

Thanks to Eric Kranzler, Simon Green, Jeff Jacobs, Peter Levine, Tom Rowan, and Ben Greenberg.

Thanks to everyone at NBC, especially Rick Ludwin, Nick Bernstein, Rebecca Marks, Marc Graboff, Amber James, Nate Kirtman, Kim Niemi, Drew Rowley, Steve Coulter, Ed Prince, Leslie Schwartz, Joni Camacho, Neysa Siefert, Scott Radloff, and Jessica Nubel.

Thanks to The Roots for everything and to James Poyser for his inspirational accompaniment.

Thank you to my wife Nancy and my parents, Jim and Gloria Fallon.

And finally, thank you “thank you list at the beginning of this book” for being longer than the actual book. What the hell is that about?

Introduction: A Thank You to the Reader

 

Thank you,
reader, for buying this book. Because of you, I just made enough money to buy part of one beer. So in a way you, and a bunch of other readers, just bought me a beer. And when I drink that beer, I will stare into the glass and say a quiet “thank you.” Everyone else in the bar will wonder why I’m talking to my drink, but so what? This is between you and me. Me thanking you for buying this book. Unless you got it as a gift. In which case, you should go find that person and thank him or her.

Now that everybody’s good and thanked, go ahead and enjoy the book. I promise you’ll laugh. If you don’t, then come find me at the bar. I’ll buy you part of one beer.

Thank you
 

… the word
moist
, for being the worst word ever. I think I speak for all Americans when I say that we don’t want you as a word anymore. God, I hate you.

Thank you
 

… Taco Bell Chihuahua, for your many years of faithful service as a mildly offensive Mexican stereotype.

Thank you
 

… tequila. You know why… Oh, all right, I’ll just say it. Thank you for making me puke up everything I ate the night before. I lost two pounds!

Thank you
 


Real Housewives of Atlanta
, for demonstrating a universal truth: Idiots like me will always watch idiots like you fight on TV. You will forever be in my TiVo.

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