Then after that little silence, when they both seemed to be thinkin, Joe asked Cool. “What’s happenin with that nice little woman you been foolin with for years? Irene? Wasn’t that her name?”
Cool’s laughter was still hangin round in the air, but now he sounded bored, “Yeah.”
I was back there prayin that Joe would not stop askin questions. He didn’t stop. “Irene Tatum . . . ole Tatum’s daughter?”
“She alright. What you want to know for? Now, there’s a example for you! She been my woman for goin on ten years now. We got two babies!”
“You marry her?”
Cool set the beer bottle down, “Marry? Man, you crazy or somethin? What’s that?”
Joe turned away from Cool as he said, “Oh . . . then SHE got two kids.”
Cool picked his bottle up slowly, “I recognize them boys. They my boys! I didn’t try to lie! It’s so straight, we ain’t never even talked about it.”
Joe turned back to Cool with a hard look, “You take care of them boys?”
Cool almost whined, “Man . . . I ain’t got enough money for nothin like that. It’s hard out here! It takes all I got to keep on goin on!”
“Course,” Joe looked away and back to Cool, “it’s prob’ly hard out here for her, too! Well, I repeat, SHE got two kids.”
“Man, she manages! I go over there . . . ever now and then.”
Joe snorted when he laughed, “And try to make another baby?”
Cool laughed, but not so loudly as usual. “Naw . . . I ain’t gonna make no more babies. I give her a little piece now and then . . . cause I got to keep her a good woman,” he smirked.
Joe smiled a sad smile, “I see your reasoning.”
Cool fooled with his shirt collar and brushed over his pants. “You know . . . I think I love her . . . sometime . . . more than all the rest, on accounta my sons.” He took a drink. “But not more than my new woman.” He rubbed the brim of his “lucky” hat.
My heart was foolish enough to have a little hope for my foolish friend, Irene. But, at the same time, I knew her place in life would be flooded with tears and sorrow and want and need if she ever got this man.
Joe laughed a weak laugh and said, “Golly! She’s lucky!”
But Cool didn’t read the weak laugh, he believed Irene was really lucky. And that man had the nerve to tell Joe in a low voice, “Yeah . . . You know, I tried her sister out first. But she don’t know that! Nobody do! The sister, Billie Jean, never did tell, bless her pretty lil soul. She got a ole man she don’t want to go upside her lips if he knew. She wasn’t so hot in the bed, noway. Not like little Irene. Irene was a virgin, man. That’s alllllll mine! Bet I’m the only man in this town can say that bout their woman. A virgin. She my main stay!”
Joe threw his hands up in the air and shook his head, “Man, you got a hell of a philosophy! You go to church?”
“Joe, we ain’t talkin bout church! Talk about church on Sunday. We talkin bout screwin now! I ain’t tryin to get no religion. I’m tryin to get some ‘givin,’ man. You sposed to go to church when you sad. I ain’t sad. My life is just what I want it to be! I got Irene, my two sons . . . every man wants a son . . . I got TWO! And I got a woman who gives me things so I stay clean and I get all the mojo I want! Now, what I got to pray for? Lord already done give me everything a good man needs!”
Joe seem to be just makin conversation now that all his preparation work was about done, but I knew, he knew, that I was interested in Irene. He said, “But what about them . . . the women . . . what do they have? What does the mother of your sons have?”
Cool smiled and took another drink of beer, saying, “Me! Me, man. But I can’t be goin over there too much. Look what I’d be missin. It’s too dead and borin over there. Ain’t no excitement! And I am too young, too young to live like I’m a old man; sad . . . and through.”
“Through what, Cool?”
“Through lovin women! Havin fun! Are you a fool? Gimme another drink, man!”
Joe went to get the fresh beer, saying, “Well, they say everybody knows what’s best for themselves!”
I wanted Joe to ask Cool more questions, but the telephone rang. I was kinda glad when it rang because my leg was gettin numb tryin to stand still and not attract any attention to myself, and then, too, I needed to look at that food I had in there cookin that oughta be about done. I moved as Joe answered the phone and Cool was lookin in the mirror behind the bar as he smoothed his hair, setting his hat at different angles, saying, “Well, I sure do know what’s best for me!”
I turned off all the fires cause I was rushin to get back to my listenin place in the dark. If somebody had to wait for this food, they just had to wait, because I was tryin to think of some way I could let Irene know, easily as possible, what kind of man Cool was, with the words comin right out of his own mouth! Now, you may not think that is bein a friend, tellin a woman somethin about her man. But I think it IS bein a friend, because, number one, who wants their friend to be treated like a fool? Forever? And, number two, who cares what you think?!
When I got back to my spot, Joe was off the phone and was tellin Cool, “That was a lady askin for you, but she didn’t want to speak to you . . . say she was comin on over.”
“Oh, hell, man. Who was it?”
“Forgot to ask . . . and she didn’t say. But she sure got a sweet voice.”
Cool smiled and preened in the mirror, setting that hat again. “I can’t even get away for a little while to myself. The girls just won’t let sweet daddy alone.”
Joe laughed as he said, “When you got it, you got it!”
“Riiiiiiight,” Cool smiled at himself as he set the hat at a rakish angle.
Joe pulled off his apron as he asked Cool to watch the bar while he went to the rest room.
“Go ahead. I got to wait for the lady anyway.”
As Joe came from behind the counter, he said, “I hope she ain’t no ‘mad’ lady. Don’t want no fightin up in here.”
Cool laughed his cool laughter and said, “Man, ain’t nobody wanta hurt me. They wanta keep me. Any woman I have . . . man, she mine . . . don’t worry bout all that stuff you talkin bout!”
Joe reached back for his stick and was wavin it around. “That’s good, cause I keep my peacemaker here for all drunks and fools. But, Cool, maybe you oughta worry bout somethin! Least about the one with your two kids.”
As Joe left for the rest room, Cool hollered after him, “What are you today . . . the preacher? Man, I think about her. She is my ace in the hole. I know she is a good woman, a good mother . . . and all that!” Joe was in the rest room now, but Cool kept on talkin to hisself as he smoothed himself out for the comin lady. He finished his beer and leaned his elbows on the counter as he looked at hisself. Finally, after several moments, he spoke to his reflection in the mirror, “I’m gonna . . . I’m gonna marry Irene. I’m just savin her for the last. Cause I know she gonna be there. Ain’t . . . goin . . . nowhere! with her little quiet self. But I might marry this new money woman first; long as she understands bout my sons, cause I might want to keep them myself someday.”
Joe was movin behind the bar and heard the last few lines Cool said and answered, “Them quiet girls surprise you sometime! But I don’t blive she will let you take them boys of hers.”
Cool didn’t even turn to look at him, just kept lookin at hisself as he said, “All kinda girls surprise you sometime! And them are MY sons! Irene ain’t got nothin to say bout it, if I make up my mind. You got to learn more about women fore you can tell me anything.” Then he turned to look at Joe, saying, “Hey, gimme another beer before she gets here, whoever she is, cause I ain’t got enough money to pay for hers too.”
Just listen at him! He says everybody givin him things and he don’t have enough money to pay for one of them women’s drink! A beer even! Humph! Well, I was gettin tired just standin in one place listenin to his bullmess and was just startin to tip back into the kitchen when Tan-Tan came in. You remember, that’s Rether’s niece. I just had to wait before I moved because I wanted to look at her a minute.
Chile, the woman looked so tired and dejected, rejected and just downright lifeworn! I knew she was round forty-five, but Joe say she say she is thirty-four or -five. And she musta borrowed that wig she had on cause it didn’t fit her head nor her style neither. And had on a black dress, a nice style and all, but a little weary from three or four days’ wearin. And red shoes and a red purse (empty I bet). She walked in like she was lookin down at the bottom of the world.
Joe spoke to her first cause Cool was tryin to hurry his change back to his pockets. “Tan-Tan! What’s goin on?”
She answered him with a frown, “Ain’t nothin goin on! And don’t call me Tan-Tan. My name is LaTanya!”
Cool mimicked her by sayin, “LaTanya! Miss LaTanya!”
Miss LaTanya threw him a mean look as she sat down on a barstool. “Don’t bother me. Nobody say nothin at all . . . to me!”
Cool might not have said a word to her because she was one of those who was always flirtin with him, but when she said she didn’t want to be bothered, he just had to bother her. “What’s the matter, pretty? You look fine, but you don’t sound fine!”
Tan ignored him and looked at Joe, sayin, “Gimme a straight shot, Joe. A double! And half is on you!”
Joe smiled, but said, “No, half ain’t on me! I can’t afford your habits, girl.”
“Oh, yes you can! You make plenty money offa me!”
As Joe poured her drink, he answered with a serious smile, “Well, you know I must be standin back here for somethin, don’t ya? I sure ain’t here for my health.”
Tan waved her hand in the air, “Well, comin here don’t help mine either, but I come.”
Cool laughed, sayin, “You come cause it’s your business and pleasure to come! If you don’t have someplace to get them lonely fools you catch, you’d starve to death on that waitress pay!”
She gave him one of them evil looks, said, “I ain’t never tried to ‘catch’ you!”
Cool laughed as he looked in the mirror and primped his hair. “Not lately. You know you too old for a fine young man like me. I may be a loner . . . but I ain’t lonely . . . and I ain’t no fool either, darlin.”
I know Joe butt in because he didn’t want them to argue and I think he felt sorry for Tan-Tan. He is that kind of person. He laughed kinda softly and said, “You both loners . . . always by yourself til you catch somethin.”
Cool didn’t like him sayin that and said so, “Man, don’t put me in her place! She ain’t in my class. Sex is somethin she makes some of her livin with. For me, sex is somethin makes my livin worth livin. She got to make somebody go home with her . . . I got to fight em off!”
Then, because he liked Tan-Tan and maybe because she looked so sad, he said, “You my girl though, Tan—LaTanya, Miss LaTanya. I’ll pay for her drink. Maybe someday you’ll do me a favor!”
“I ain’t nobody’s girl! I’m a woman! And I don’t do no favors in bed!”
Joe took the money Cool had in his hand before Cool could change his mind about payin. Said, “Right on, mama!” Then I wondered why Joe was so glad she didn’t do no favors in bed. Was he foolin with Tan? But I would wonder about that later when I got home, right now I had to keep listenin. So, this was the kind of stuff that people flocked to bars to listen to? Hmmm mmmm! A shame!
But Cool was talkin, “Fair exchange ain’t no robbery! But you ain’t got to think of me! I got more now than I can use! I’ll be a ooold man fore I get to you!”
Tan was tired of the chitchat, “Leave me alone, Cool. I don’t feel good.”
And old kind Joe softened the atmosphere with his soft voice, “What’s the matter with you, Tan? What is wrong?”
Tan answered with a tear in her voice, “It’s my baby. My daughter.”
Cool spoke up, “That pretty young lady you got? Comes down here to get you sometime? Sure is a fox!”
Tan took a swallow of her double drink. “Well . . . this fox of mine ain’t smart like no fox! She done got pregnant!”
Joe lay his bar towel down and stepped back, “Damn! Another one down!”
I shook my head in sorrow for her. I knew that child.
Tan talked to the ceiling, “She thinks she ‘looooooooves’ him . . . and I can’t tell her nothin.”
Joe leaned toward Tan, “Maybe they do love each other, Tan.”
Tan shook her head, slowly. “I can deal with the baby. That happened to me, too. What I can’t deal with is when we went over to his house to see what we was goin to do about everything . . . you know . . . the money and everything.” She pushed her glass to Joe, who was standin there listenin. “Gimme another drink, Joe.”
Joe was talkin as he got her another drink, “That’s right! Get the father involved. It takes money . . . and everything!”
It sounded like tears in her voice as Tan continued talkin. “Well, we sittin there talkin . . . the kids get it together and everything . . . they want to get married. I like the young man, he’s still tryin to go to school, even got a job after school, goes to church and all. So, I say, ‘Fine, if that’s what you want.’ Then this jukehead man, his father, says, ‘How do my son know that this is his doin?’ And I got mad cause I know my daughter and this boy and I say, ‘How do you know your son is your doin?’ ”
Cool laughed in agreement, said, “You sure laid somethin on his mind! Mama’s baby, papa’s maybe. But, one thing I sure do know is my sons are mine!”
Tan frowned quickly at Cool and turned back to Joe, “Well . . . that made me mad! Men always get so righteous when a baby shows up. THEN, they want a little integrity from a woman! But if they kept a little integrity on the tip of that thing they use to make them babies with, wouldn’t nobody have to get unrighteous!”
Cool, as usual, threw in his smarts. “Don’t forget . . . it was Eve bit that apple!”
Tan was up to it, “You ever make love to a apple?”
Cool shook his head proudly, “I don’t have to!”
Tan had the last word, “And eatin apples don’t make you pregnant!”
Oh! I wish I had been in there to say my few words! My feet were itchin to move, but I was holdin my lips tight to keep my mouth from openin.
At that moment two ladies came in. It took a minute or so for me to see them clear from my spot, and when I did get a clear look, my mouth dropped open. It was Rether and Agatha! In this bar! But, I noticed Agatha was holdin on to Rether, tryin to pull her back out the door.