The Marriage Mistake (28 page)

He loved her.

Had always loved her. That was why no woman seemed to fit throughout his life. Oh, it had been so easy to blame it on other factors. His career. His urge for freedom and adventure. His age. Excuses loaded up and so did the endless parade of women, all the same. Except for Carina—his one constant. His friend. His lover. His soul mate.

Watching Maggie give birth cut at all the jagged pieces of his core. Challenged him on his bullshit and his false sense of honor, pride, and so-called respectability. Suddenly, it had nothing to do with being like his father. It had to do with having the guts to fight for the woman he loved on her terms. For giving her everything so she could finally choose.

He’d never given Carina a chance. All the years he made the rules to keep himself distant and safe. Even their marriage was based on a false proposal that mocked all the real feelings he had for the only woman to complete him.

Head spinning, he walked slowly over and stopped beside her. Gazing down at the baby, he tipped her chin up so she met his stare head-on. “Come home with me now.”

She blinked. “Why?”

“I’m asking you to do this for me. Please.”

Carina dragged in a shaky breath and nodded. “Okay.”

She handed Luke to Mama Conte. Michael walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you, my friend. You were right. I will not interfere again. You are not only my business partner, but my brother, and have always been there for me. Forgive me.”

He hugged his friend and clapped him on the back. “No forgiveness is needed with family. Congratulations, Papa. We’ll be back later.”

“
Si
.”

He led Carina out of the hospital and they kept silent on the drive to the house. He kept glancing at her profile but she remained distant, staring out the window, deep in thought.

When he discovered her by the pool earlier that day, asleep with her animals by her side, he’d almost sunk to his knees. Her gorgeous face relaxed in the sun, moist lips parted, her lush beauty knocked him like a sucker punch. She responded to his voice and touch immediately, her subconscious already knowing she belonged to him. If Maggie hadn’t interrupted, he’d already be sunk into her hot, tight channel and convincing her that’s where she belonged. Under him. Inside him. With him. All the time.

Somehow, he needed to convince her of the truth. He needed to bind her body once more to his, then beg her not to leave. Beg her to forgive him.

It was his final play to make this marriage real.

•   •   •

She needed to end her marriage.

Carina stared out the window. The reality of the situation crashed around the moment Luke and Ethan slid into the world. She was living a lie. She wanted it all with Max—but she’d never have it. Because the bottom line was simple. Max could never love her the way she needed, and it was time to let him truly go.

She sensed he wanted to confess his own decision. Maybe they would finally agree, part friends, and deal with the consequences the best way possible.

He pulled up to their house way too fast and escorted her up the path and inside. One sharp order and Rocky stopped barking. He whined and sat down on the floor, giving her that sad puppy look that said he knew she was in trouble but didn’t know how to help.

Heart pounding, she took a deep breath. “Max, I think—”

“Upstairs.”

Her belly fisted and dipped low. God, he was sexy. He looked almost primitive with his nostrils flaring and those hot blue eyes beaming heat. Her nipples pressed against her shirt and she grew achy with need. She cursed the huskiness to her words and tried to clear her throat. “No. We need to talk, Max. I can’t do this anymore with you, or to myself. This isn’t working.”

“I know. I’m about to fix it now. Upstairs.”

Goose bumps pebbled her arms. He gripped her arm and led her toward the staircase. Her feet obeyed, until they ended up in the bedroom. The bed dominated the room with an almost obnoxious air. Ignoring her thumping heart, she faced him with hands crossed in front of her chest. “Happy now? Ready to tell me your master plan now? How you’re going to fix this mess of a marriage and our screwed-up relationship in the bedroom?”

He ripped off his shirt. Carina swallowed at all those bare, ridged muscles. One, two, three, four, five, six. Yes, an actual six-pack. His stomach made Channing Tatum seem pudgy. What was she doing? What was he doing? Oh, no, she was not going to have sex with this man again. He was frikkin nuts to think she was that stupid. “I’m not having sex with you, Max. You’re delusional if you think we’re going back to the beginning.”

He toed off his shoes. “Oh, we’re having sex. Right now. I was an idiot to wait this long and not show you how I feel. We could have a nice, tidy conversation in the kitchen but you wouldn’t believe a word I said.” His pants fell to his ankles and he kicked them aside. His erection bulged from his boxers. “So we’ll do it a better way.” His gaze pinned her to the wall. “Strip.”

Carina gasped. Her body perked up, ready to play with all that naked male perfection before her, but she snapped her mind back in place. She studied him with a clinical air that screamed her a liar. “No thanks. When you’re ready to talk, let me know.”

He laughed, low and wicked. “My sweet Carina. Who would’ve thought you like to play hardball? But you do. Another reason you’re perfect for me, and my other half. I needed a woman who wouldn’t break, who’d challenge me on all levels, especially in the bedroom.” He pressed her against the wall and nipped at her earlobe. His hot breath rushed in her ear. “A woman whose soul is pure and who
knows how to laugh. A woman who gets me.” His hands rested against her bodice and he played with the strappy part of her camisole. A pull here. A tug there. Carina bit back the moan of want and stiffened her resolve. If she won this round without giving in, she could walk out the door with her pride.

“I’m going to show you the only way I know how that you’re the only woman I want. You’ve built too many barriers, baby. It’s like stepping through a minefield, and I know it’s all my fault. But your body can’t lie to me. And you’ll know mine can’t, either.”

He ripped the tank and tore it down the middle.

Her breasts spilled free and he caught them with his palms, rubbing the tight crests as his lips devoured her mouth. One quick snap and her shorts and panties were off, leaving her naked in front of him. The rough play spiked her arousal so bad a trickle of wetness slid down her thigh, but she rallied and bit down on his lower lip.

He pulled away. His blue eyes darkened to a stormy gray and he deliberately twisted her nipples so a tiny bolt of pain zapped through her. Carina couldn’t stop the moan falling from her lips. “Not going to make it easy, are you?” he murmured. “That’s okay. I like a challenge.”

He turned her around and caged her with his thighs. His chest pressed to her back, and he nudged his erection against her cleft. “Bastard.”

“Legs wider, please.”

“Screw you.”

He kicked her legs apart with his foot until she was open wide and vulnerable. Her cheeks flushed as she scented her own arousal. His fingers glided downward over the curve of her backside, squeezing the tender flesh. She wiggled away but he only laughed. “Does this turn you on?”

“Hell, no.”

“Liar.” His fingers dove deep and she arched. She fisted her hands and panted for control. Her cheek lay flat against the cool wall and the sheer helplessness of her position only racketed her need for more. The man claimed her heart and soul, but how had he gotten so deep into her fantasies? He played and teased until she writhed like a wild thing, ready to do anything for release. His lips nipped and licked the sensitive area of her nape and down her spine, and he rocked against her in a rhythm that drove her mad.

“I want, I need—”

“I know, sweetheart. Truth time. Tell me you belong to me. Have always belonged to me.”

“No.”

He swirled the tight bud between her legs and her knees gave out. Max held her up with one arm but never stopped the merciless circles that kept her right on the edge. “Tell me.”

A sob caught in her throat. So close . . . the orgasm
shimmered before her in all its glory until her nerves shredded and her brain fried. Her hips pressed back in torment. “I hate you, Maximus Gray. I hate you.”

His lips slid over her damp cheek. “I love you, Carina. Do you hear me? I love you.” He paused and lifted her up on her toes. “Now come for me.”

He sunk his fingers deep in her channel and rubbed hard. She cried out as waves of pleasure rocked through her and tore her to pieces. He lifted her, placed her on the bed, and fit himself with a condom. Then plunged.

Mine.

Carina dug her heels into his back and gave him everything. He buried himself so deep inside there was nothing left but him. No gentleness marred the ferocity of his strokes. He drove her right back to the edge and shoved her over again.

His warmth and strength surrounded her. She floated and dimly noted his own release. Carina never let go of him as darkness finally crashed and she didn’t have to think anymore.

•   •   •

Max stroked back her sweat-dampened hair and lay his cheek against hers. His hand cupped her breast, and one thigh tangled in between her legs. The scent of her clung to his skin. He wondered why it had taken him so long to realize
he loved her. He understood why he had avoided love in the past. Yes, he had been afraid to make a commitment due to his father, afraid he had some of his genes, afraid he’d hurt another woman like his mother had been hurt all those years ago. But the primary reason was simple.

Fear.

His heart no longer belonged to him. Was this how Carina had felt all those years? The torture and fear and joy of wanting to be in another’s presence? He’d give his life for her, but it still wasn’t his choice to make. She lay next to him, her body his, but her mind still far, far away.

“What are you thinking about?” he whispered.

She lifted his hand and pressed her lips against his palm. “How much you mean to me. All those times you walked through the door with Michael, I wondered what it would be like to be loved by you. To make love with you. I watched woman after woman parade in front of me and prayed for my turn. Now it’s here, and I’m too afraid to take it.”

He rolled her over to face him. Chocolate brown eyes filled with a sadness and vulnerability that tore his heart. “I love you. This isn’t about doing the right thing, or not becoming like my father. I want a life with you and I won’t settle for any other woman.”

She didn’t move. Didn’t react to his words. Her dark curly hair fell over her shoulders and revealed the slope of a stubborn chin, full cheeks, and long nose. She was strong
and beautiful and perfect. Panic roared through his blood and dimmed his ears. “Carina, please listen to me. I never thought I could be good enough for you. My age, our family, everything I believed myself to be. Now I see I could spend every day of my life making you happy you married me. Making myself worthy of you.”

“I want that, too, Max. But I—”

“What?” Her silence rattled his nerves and hope for a happily-ever-after. What more could he give her? What more could she want? He studied her face and looked deep into her eyes.

Then he knew.

“You don’t believe me.”

She flinched. “I want to believe you. I think you even mean it this time. But I’ll always wait for the drop. I’m afraid I’ll wonder all the time why you chose me. I look at you and my heart swells up and I don’t know what to do with all my emotions. It still feels like I’m sixteen and hoping to please you, or get a smile.”

Coldness seeped through his skin. In a way, this wasn’t even about him. This was about her own personal hang-ups and how she never felt good enough. Could he live like this? Always reassuring her or worried she’d disappear because of her insecurities?
Dio,
what a complete mess. How did she not see how special she was? How
he
didn’t deserve
her
? “We are no longer children, Carina. Isn’t it time you truly realize that, and how others see you?” The truth
slammed him, and he sat up. “You are right, though. I need you to meet me halfway. I need a woman who believes in my love for her, who will stand by my side and won’t be afraid something will take me away. I need someone strong and brave.” His set his jaw and made his decision. “You are all that, my love. And more. But until you believe it, we don’t have a chance.”

“I know.” Her voice broke. With one graceful motion, she rose from the bed and stood naked before him. Resolution glimmered from dark eyes, along with a sliver of sadness that pierced his heart. “That’s why I can’t be with you right now. I need to know I’m enough on my own before I can take this chance again. I’m so sorry, Max. But I’m leaving you.”

She left him alone in his bedroom, staring at the closed door behind her. Left him wondering if he’d ever be whole again. Left him wondering what would happen next.

A
lexa supported baby Ethan in one arm while she settled into the canary yellow futon. Her gaze swept the high studio apartment with remembered fondness. “I can’t believe how fast time goes by,” she commented. Her massive belly pulled at her maternity T-shirt that declared
BOOKCRAZY BABY MAMA
. “You have no idea how much wine was drunk in this apartment.”

Maggie rocked Luke as she nursed him. Her sister-in-law gave a snort. “Or how many of Alexa’s dates ended badly. Wine was definitely needed.”

The girls laughed and Carina adjusted the canvas she was working on. “Well, I’ve got a good head start. My Friday nights consist of chick-flick movies and a bottle of red.”

“You don’t have to stay away from our Friday night dinners, Carina,” Alexa said. “Max is barely civil anyway. Ever since you left him, Michael says he stomps around the office causing havoc, and is becoming like Miss Havisham in his big old mansion.”

Carina shook her head. “No, it’s good for me. I’ve gotten so much work done.” She stared at the painting in front of her—the last of the series—and shoved back tears. “I miss him, though.”