He reached out and put his hands on my waist. “I am.”
I liked the way his body moved with mine. If I'd been looking for a sexual partner, I might've been disappointed that this guy was off the table, but as it was, I was enjoying myself. I wasn't going to second-guess myself.
I turned, letting him pull me back against him. My ass fit firmly against him, confirming his sexuality as our grinding bodies provided very little physical response, and what he was having was easily explained by friction. I didn't know of any man who'd be able to keep himself from getting an erection dancing this way with a woman, and, not to sound arrogant, especially me.
“You're a really good dancer,” he said, his breath hot against my neck.
“Thank you,” I said. “Right back at you.”
We danced through another half dozen songs before I had to cry off and head for the bar again. I was thirsty, this time for water. He smiled at me and moved on to another partner. I smiled back and watched him go.
I leaned back against the bar and drained a bottle of water. It wasn't until I finished it that I realized I was smiling. Actually smiling, and not just in response to someone else doing it. It took me a moment to place my current emotion and when I did, I was surprised. I felt good. Not great. Not whole or happy or even content, but good, and that was enough for now.
The hair on the back of my neck prickled and I immediately stiffened. Someone was watching me.
I looked around, trying to be discreet about it. Anyone looking would've thought I was simply scanning the crowd, looking for someone new to dance with. The thing was, I couldn't see anyone giving me more than a glance, either filled with admiration or jealousy. Still, I felt uneasy, like there were eyes in the shadows.
I shook it off, reminding myself that it was a natural reaction to have after finding out that the man who'd tried to assault me was essentially going to walk free. I was surprised I hadn't felt it before.
I tried to shake the feeling, searching the crowd, trying to find someone else to dance with. Someone else to take my mind off of things. I could still end the night feeling good for once.
And then it all went to hell because I saw
him.
For a brief moment, I thought I was mistaken, that the play of light and shadows had made me see things, but I'd been right. Those broad shoulders and that narrow waist. Dark hair. I couldn't see the color of his eyes from where I was standing, but I knew them. Knew what they would look like when they were lit up with happiness, dancing with laughter. I knew what they would look like blazing with passion, dark with anger. I knew him and it hurt.
I wanted to turn away before he saw me, but I'd lingered too long and I watched his expression change. First, surprise and recognition, then hurt. His eyes flicked to my left and right, and I knew he was trying to determine if I was here alone. When his gaze returned to me, I saw the determination that meant he wasn't going to stop until he got what he wanted. Not for the first time, I felt that focus on me, only this time, I didn't want it.
He began to walk towards me, never taking his eyes off of me. I'd been hunted before, knew what it was like to feel the difference between predator and prey. This was different. I'd never felt like I was torn between wanting to be caught and wanting to run away. I wanted to feel him wrap his arms around me, pull me tight against his chest so that I could hear his heart beating, that slow, steady thumping that was my anchor.
What if that wasn't why he was coming over, though? What if that look of sheer stubbornness was because he felt like he needed to tell me himself that it was over and he'd moved on? The kind of man he was, I could see him feeling as if that was something he needed to do.
I was dealing, but I could feel how fragile the walls were that I'd put back up. Strangers couldn't get through them. Zeke and Suzette could crack them. One word from Rylan, however, and my defenses would crumble. It wouldn't matter what he wanted to say. A kind word or a cruel one would be equally dangerous.
Still, I couldn't move. The bar was at my back, but it was more Rylan's gaze that held me in place than any sort of physical trap. My heart was in my throat, blood rushing in my ears so that I almost couldn't hear the music. I couldn't see anyone but him. Everyone else was faceless, nameless, and he was the only thing that was real. I could feel my body reaching for his. Not in the physical sense, but something deeper, something I couldn't explain.
Movement at the corner of my eye caught my attention, and a beautiful blonde stepped between Rylan and me. Her dress was white, glowing under the lights. It barely covered her ass and the glimpse I got of the front revealed cleavage that was far too ample for her slender frame to be real. She tossed back her hair and went straight for Rylan. I didn't have to see her face to know her intentions.
As she reached him, Rylan's eyes moved from me to her and I found that I could move again. Still, I stood and waited, wanting to see what he would do. His face was impossible to read, but when she pressed her body against his, he didn't step back and that was enough for me.
The dark-haired man next to me at the bar had been checking me out since I'd first come over and he smiled as I turned to him. I jerked my head towards the dance floor and the smile widened.
I took his hand and pulled him after me, intentionally taking a path that would let us pass near enough to Rylan and his blonde that he couldn't help but see us. I didn't look at him though. I wanted him to think that I didn't care. He could flirt with whoever he wanted to. I could too.
As we reached an open spot, I turned around, wrapping my arms around the man's neck. His hands came down on my hips as I began to move. I could feel eyes on me and hoped that at least one pair belonged to Rylan. The ache in my chest had a vindictive little streak and I was feeding it. He should have stayed away. Instead, he was flaunting his freedom. Intentional or not, I wanted him to know that I'd moved on as much as he had.
My partner was definitely enjoying my decision. His cock was hard against my hip as he pulled me closer. I let him do it, molding my body against his. I was starting to reconsider the whole 'no sex tonight' intent with which I'd started off the evening. He was cute and it would serve Rylan right to watch me walk out with this guy, knowing exactly what we were going to do.
Even as I imagined what Rylan's face would look like, a wave of guilt washed over me. Guilt for wanting to hurt Rylan even though I’d wanted him to move on. That’s what I wanted. A wave of guilt washed over me as I thought about how I was using the man I was dancing with to get back at someone who didn't deserve it. He might've been the kind of guy who didn't really care if I was using him or not, but I did. Hooking up with a guy for the sole purpose of physical satisfaction was one thing. Doing it to hurt someone else was another. I wasn't that kind of person. At least, I didn't want to be.
I gave my dance partner a smile and gestured towards the bathrooms. He smiled and nodded, not missing a beat as he released me. I was pretty sure he thought I was coming back, but he wouldn't miss me long. There were at least a dozen other women who'd gladly take my place. I wasn't going to worry about that though. My goal at the moment was to get out of here without having to explain myself to that guy or see Rylan again. There had to be a back door somewhere.
Chapter 19
I'd come here often enough to know that the hallway where the bathrooms were located didn't come to a dead end but rather a T. I'd never bothered to venture past the ladies' room, but I'd heard plenty of people talking about what went on in that corridor. I may have been into what some people would consider kinky sex, but I'd never been an exhibitionist...not by choice anyway. I had no problem going back to a college dorm where there was always a possibility of a roommate accidentally coming in, but I wasn't about to fuck someone in a hallway. If some people got their kicks doing it though, who was I to judge?
Tonight, however, I was going to head down to that hallway and find out if there was an exit on either end. It would most likely be an emergency exit and would probably sound an alarm, but on the off chance that I could use it, I was going to try. As much as I'd enjoyed the beginning of the night, I didn't want to go out there again. Not if it meant I'd possibly run into my recent dance partner or, worse, Rylan and his...friend.
The hallway was dark, shadowed, but I could make out figures, bodies moving together and for a moment, I was in the past again.
I didn't know who the other girl was. The man had brought her with him. Mom had told him he wouldn't get a discount just because he wasn't using me the whole time. That was fine, he'd said. He wanted me to watch first; watch so I'd know what he was going to do to me.
The girl was a bit older than me, maybe twelve or so, and it was clear she'd been with this man for a long time. He might've even been her father. There wasn't much of a resemblance, but I knew that didn't mean much of anything.
He made her undress and I could see the bruises on her pale skin. She was thin, her hair limp and straggly. If she was his daughter, he most likely wasn't sending her to school. Someone would've noticed something.
I didn't want to watch when he started touching her, but the first time I looked away, I saw my mother raise her hand in warning. I looked back, but tried not to see. I tried to find that place inside me where I went most of the time I was being hurt, but I couldn't get there, dragged back by the sounds the girl was making. She wasn't loud, and I thought that was most likely the problem. He seemed almost annoyed that she wasn't crying or screaming, merely grunting and groaning, almost involuntary noises. That, I thought, was why he wanted me. He thought what he was doing to her would hurt me because I was someone new. I wondered what lie my mother had told him since I'd been treated to far worse than what the girl was receiving.
I shook my head as the flashback faded. My palms were sweating, but I'd at least managed to stay on my feet and not attract any attention. I hadn't thought of that girl in years. By the time I'd gotten out, I'd forgotten all about her. Had she been rescued too? Or had she succumbed to the same fate so many others like us had and died?
I pushed thoughts of the girl aside. I could revisit her fate later. Right now, I needed to get out. There were other memories waiting to come forward. I could feel them at the back of my brain, pushing, trying to make themselves known.
I started to turn away from the two couples to my right when another flashback hit me.
I sat in the corner, knees pulled to my chest. I'd been wearing my Snow White dress for a week and it was stained and filthy. I hadn't eaten anything in a while and my stomach hurt. I was only six, but that wasn't anything new to me. Neither was the pain in other parts of my body. It was summer and that meant more movies. We'd made four this week and I'd lost count of how many men had hurt me.
When the last of those had left, other men had come, but they hadn't been interested in me. I rocked back and forth, wishing I could put my hands over my ears, but when I'd tried that, I'd missed something my mother had told me to do and she'd hit me. If my face hadn't already been swollen and bruised, I might've taken the chance of a blow or two, but I wasn't going to, and that meant I heard every moan and curse.
The three men who'd brought bags of stuff for Mom were taking turns with her just like the other men had done with me. She didn't seem to mind though. Her noises were happy and she kept asking them to do more. Sometimes, she told me to watch because I would be doing some of these things soon. When I saw her between two men, one below her and one above her, my stomach turned and I was glad I hadn't eaten. I didn't want to think about when I would have to do that.
I rested my head against the wall as I heard one of the men groan. I knew that sound. He was done. I hoped the other two would finish soon and leave. Mom wouldn't feed me, but she would use what the men had brought and I could go to the kitchen and try to find something to eat.
“Watch!” My mother snapped. “Learn something.”
Reluctantly, I looked back at the bodies on the bed and tried to think of something else. Anything but what was happening.
I came to with the wall against my back. I heard a low whimpering sound and realized it was me. I took a slow breath and pressed my hands flat against the wall. I didn't even want to think about what kind of shit I could be touching, focusing instead on the solid feel of the wall, the pounding music.
I was here. This was real. The rest was in the past. It couldn't hurt me anymore.
I pushed myself off the wall, forcing back the rest of the memories. I needed to go the other way and see if there was an exit down there. After a few steps, the world became more firm and some of my tension faded away. I still had plenty, but at least I could breathe without it feeling like my lungs were being squeezed.
The hallway appeared to be blissfully empty and, in the darkness, I could see a faint red glow high on the wall. High enough to be an exit sign. It seemed like it was around another corner, maybe a short alcove. I walked faster. As I turned, I processed several things at once.
One, there was indeed an exit and it didn't say emergency only. Two, I wasn't alone. And, three, the pair were totally involved in what they were doing and hadn't noticed me.
One man was facing the wall, his face turned away from me. His pants were around his knees and I caught a glimpse of a firm ass as the man behind him moved. The one in the back was my first dance partner. The one in the front was tall and muscular, with lighter hair, but I couldn't tell what shade.
The man being fucked moaned. “Harder, baby.”
My heart leaped into my throat and I took a step backward. I had to be hearing things. The music was little more than thumping white noise, but I tried telling myself that was why I thought I recognized the voice.