This Man Confessed (18 page)

“Belt?” I ask, as I pull away from him. He stoops down and retrieves it from the floor, handing it to me on an amused smile. I take it, returning his smile, and start feeding it through the loops of his trousers and buckling it up. “You’re done.”

“No, I’m not.” He nods at his shoes. “If you’re going to do a job, do it properly.”

I ignore his insolence, instead pushing him down so he’s sitting on the end of the bed. I kneel in front of him, resting my bum on my heels, and start putting his socks on. “Is this okay for you, Lord?” I yank at a few of the dark blond hairs at the bottom of his shins.

 “Fuck!” He reaches down and rubs his shin. “There was no need for that.”

He slips his feet in his shoes and stands, grabbing his jacket and stuffing his tie in the pocket, all the time frowning at me. “You really are a monster.”

I smile sweetly, prompting his frown to iron out and his lips to twitch. “Ready?” I ask.

He shakes his head and takes my hand, leading me from our room, down to the bar. I’m placed on my usual stool, and Mario is with us in a heartbeat.

“Mrs. Ward!” His cheerful accented voice draws the usual response from me.

I smile. “Mario, it’s Ava,” I scorn him lightly. “How are you?”

“Ah!” He flips a bar towel over his shoulder and leans forward. “Very well. What would you like?”

“Two waters,” Jesse interjects swiftly. “Just two waters please, Mario.”

I flip critical eyes straight to my husband, who has seated himself on the stool next to me. “I might like some wine with my dinner.”

He’s not at all perturbed by my reproachful glare. In fact, he doesn’t even look at me. “You might, but you’re not having any.” Mario scoots straight off, while I glare at Jesse, but he still refuses to face me, instead signaling Pete over. “Two steaks, Pete. One medium, one well-done. No blood whatsoever.”

The confusion in Pete’s face is obvious, and the disbelieving look on mine must be clear, too. “Urhh…yes, Mr. Ward. Salad and new potatoes?” Pete asks. His puzzled eyes have drifted across to my dumbstruck face. I can feel them on me, but I’m too busy staring at my impossible husband to acknowledge him.

“Yes, just make sure one steak is thoroughly cooked.” Jesse accepts the bottled water from Mario and starts pouring mine into a glass. “Is there egg in that salad dressing?”

I actually choke on a cough, not that it makes a bit of difference. Poor Pete has no idea what’s going on. “I’m not sure. Should I check?”

“Yes. If there is, leave the salad with the well-cooked steak undressed.”

“Okay, Mr. Ward.”

Mario backs away, as does Pete, and we’re alone at the bar, me in a stunned silence and Jesse busying himself with water pouring duties to avoid facing his astonished wife. He knows that I’m gawking at him; he damn well knows it.

I turn myself back to the bar, all calm and unruffled, but I’m quietly raging. He just can’t help himself. “If you don’t go to that kitchen, change my order, and get me a glass of wine, then I’m one step closer to moving in with my parents for the rest of this pregnancy.” I know he’s looking at me now. I can feel his shocked greens burning a hole in my profile. I take my glass of water and slowly turn my face to his. “You are not trampling my diet, Ward.”

“You’ve already got yourself pissed while you were pregnant,” he spits quietly. He’s not happy, but neither am I.

“I was mad with you.” I still sound calm, but now I feel guilty, too.

His eyebrows shoot up. “So you thought you would take it out on my baby?”

I soak up the resentment pouring from him. “You keep saying
my
baby. It’s ours.”

“That’s what I meant!”

“Then say it!” I snap.

I’ve shocked him because he’s not coming at me with a counterattack. He’s just severely chomping on that bottom lip. His mind’s cogs are racing at a million miles per hour, and he finally sags, swinging away from me on his stool, his hands diving straight into his messy array of dark blond. “Fucking hell,” he curses quietly. “Fucking, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

“I mean it, Jesse.” I reinforce my threat. I was wrong to go out and get myself pissed, aware that I’m pregnant, but it was only a result of what this man does to me—what this man spikes in me. I won’t be getting pissed again, but a small glass of red wine won’t hurt and a half-cooked steak is harmless. Don’t even get me started on the eggs.

I see his eyes clench shut and he takes a deep breath before turning toward my calm face. He takes my water and places it on the bar, and then holds my hands in his. “I’m sorry.”

I very nearly fall off my stool. “You are?” There’s no escaping the shock in my voice. Even if I was threatening him with confidence, I had absolutely no faith that he would take any notice of me.

“I am. I’m sorry. This is going to take some getting used to.”

“Jesse, this is hard enough to cope with without dealing with an enhanced control freak.” I let out an almighty sigh and stand up, positioning myself between his legs. “I want my baby to have a daddy. Please, try to reduce the risk of a stress-induced heart attack by chilling out a little.” I kiss every part of his face that I can lay my lips on, and he lets me.

“Hmmm. I’ll work on it, baby. I’m really trying, but can we at least compromise?”

“Compromise how?”

I feel his hand slide onto my head and grasp my hair, pulling my busy lips away from him. He pouts. “Please don’t drink.” His eyes are pleading with me, and I realize all too quickly how important it is to him. He’s a recovering alcoholic, even if he won’t admit it. For me to drink in normal circumstances would be thoughtless. While I’m carrying his baby would be way past that. It would be cruel.

“I won’t,” I agree, and the relieved look that washes over his face makes me feel awful. Really, really awful. “Go and get me a medium-cooked steak.” I peck his lips and pull out of his hold, placing myself back on my stool. “And I’d like that dressing on my salad.” I nod past him.

He gives my cheek a quick stroke and leaves me at the bar to go and fulfill his obligation of getting his pregnant wife a medium-cooked steak.

As my eyes wander around the bar, I immediately notice that it’s busy. Did they hear anything? Oh God, have we just revealed to a bar full of members that I’m expecting? My eyes flick across various groups, all drinking and chatting. The curious interest that always surrounds me when I’m here is everpresent. I spot Natasha in the corner with voice one and voice three, and I’m mortified when her eyes drop to my stomach. My face heats, and I swing back toward the bar, hastily escaping her inquisitive look. It’s so easy to forget there’s a world happening around us when we’re so wrapped up in each other, whether we’re arguing, making friends, or just plain getting our fix of each other.

“Evening, Ava.” Drew’s reserved tone pulls my attention away, and I’m more than thrown to find him in jeans. He has a formal shirt tucked in and his black hair is perfectly placed, as usual, but jeans?

“Hi.” I can’t help my eyes making repeat up and down motions over his body, and when he shifts uncomfortably, I realize that he’s caught me making my examinations. I quickly snap myself out of my rude observations. “How are you?”

“I’m good.” He nods at Mario, who promptly collects a beer from a fridge and delivers it to Drew. “Oh, congratulations.” He raises his bottle and takes a swing.

I gape at him. He knows, too?

“Never thought I’d see the day.” He shakes his head.

“Yes!” Mario sings. “A baby!”

My exhale of exasperation is loud, just as I intended it to be. I hope it reached the ears of my husband in the kitchen. “Thank you,” is all I can think to say. That is until Jesse walks back into the bar, and I start mentally preparing my words as he walks toward me.

He gets in first, though. “Just remember, none of our business.”

“What?” I frown at him as he gives me a warning look, which would be fine if I knew why I was receiving a warning. “What are you talking about?”

He rolls his eyes and grabs his water from the bar, and then I see them.

Sam and Kate.

W
hat the hell?” I jump up from my stool, only to be placed back on it before I can launch into my rant.

“Ava.” His tone is clipped and stern, not that I’ll take any notice, but then it very quickly occurs to me that Sam is oblivious to Kate’s straying ways, as is Jesse, so I aim my aggravation at my husband instead. “Who else have you told?”

His warning face soon drops. “A few.”

My lips purse. “You’ve told everyone, haven’t you?” I can’t believe this man. My poor parents don’t even know that they’re going to be grandparents yet.

“I might have.”

“Jesse,” I moan, completely deflated.

His adorable face takes the edge off my irritation slightly, and then he shrugs guiltily, completely diminishing the rest of my exasperation. “Can we visit my in-laws this weekend?” he asks quietly.

“Well, yes. We’d better before news travels and makes it to Cornwall before we do.”

He grins at me and stoops down to seal our mouths, his hand landing on my stomach and caressing my nonbump, while his tongue caresses my mouth. “You make me a very happy man, Mrs. Ward.”

“That’s because I’m letting you trample all over me at the moment.”

“No, it’s because you’re beautiful, spirited, and all mine.”

“My man!” Sam’s happy greeting distracts us from our moment. He claps Jesse’s shoulder and stands me up, looking me up and down. “I can tell,” he says, staring at my tummy before lifting his sparkling blues. “You’ve got that healthy glow about you.”

I actually laugh, and I’m dying to ask if any of these happy well-wishers know of the circumstances surrounding my pregnancy. “That’s funny because I mostly feel like shit,” I quip.

“Mouth, Ava!” Jesse snaps, but I snub him and move past Sam to take Kate’s hand. “Let’s sit in the corner.” I smile sweetly and lead her away from the bar. Her pale face is cautious, and it bloody well should be, but she doesn’t resist, letting me direct her away from the men to a little table in the quietest part of the busy bar.

I practically push her into a chair. “Okay, Matthews. Spill.” We’ve got way past the
fun
excuses, so she’d better not even try. Not now that my brother is involved.

“So,” she begins, all chirpy and unfazed by my sharp order. “It’s official, then?”

“What?” I sit down opposite her.

“The baby.” She nods at my stomach. “You’re not getting rid of it.”

“Kate!” I blurt on a shocked whisper, her hardhearted words hitting a nerve, and for the first time since all of this sank in, my hand rests on my tummy protectively. I feel untold guilt.

She smiles. “Ava, I knew you’d never see that through.”

I’m a little speechless. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You needed to figure it out.” She looks across to the men, who are all chatting at the bar. “I don’t get him, but look at that face,” she says, smiling fondly at Jesse. “I was a breath away from telling him, Ava.”

I knew she would be. I follow her eyes and see a very happy man, but he’s always happy when we’re together, or he’s always happy when I’m conceding to him and his impossible ways. Jesse catches my eye and flips me a wink, sending a comforting, warm shot of contentment deep into my heart, but then I remember that I have a friend with some explaining to do.

“Hey!” I blurt across the table. “It’s time to explain.”

Kate gives me a tired look. I don’t appreciate it. “I’ve told your brother to go back to Australia.”

“Oh?” I lean forward, utterly rapt by this news. “And will he?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know, but I haven’t heard from him since Saturday.”

“I knew he was there.” I’m scowling. “What happened?”

“Sam happened,” she answers quietly. “We’re only going to have sex with each other from now on.” Her face is somewhere between amusement and complete seriousness—amusement because I know my mouth has just fallen open, and seriousness because I know that despite her openmindedness and blasé approach to her relationship with Sam, she really likes him, and that has never happened.

I close my gaping mouth. “I’m happy for you.” I’m ecstatic, in fact. “So why are you here then?”

“There are private suites.” She grins.

“Your bedroom is private!”

“It is, but it’s not”—her grin widens—“furnished suitably.”

My lips clamp shut, my eyes widen…and I laugh. Holy shit, the filthy little minx! I’m really laughing, tears and all. “I can’t believe you.” I snort. “And who have you and Sam invited to play? Before you made this new rule, I mean.”

Her blue eyes dance in delight. “A certain dashing, black-haired moody type.”

“No!”

She nods with wide eyes. “Just as moody in the bedroom. It’s hot!”

“Fuck off!”

“I will not!” She measures out at least eight inches between her palms. “And he’s fucking brilliant with it.”

“Oh God! Stop!” I blurt on a hushed snort.

She falls back in her chair and fights to keep her laughter under control. “He might be good, but he can’t match Sam for stamina and skill.” She sighs on a smile. “And he doesn’t make me laugh like that adorable twat.”

I can’t help the huge smile invading my face. We have a breakthrough, and I’m so happy. “You don’t know how pleased I am to finally hear you say that.”

“Yes, I do,” Kate retorts dryly, leaning across the table. “Let me just tell you one more thing, and then we speak no more of Mr. Moody, okay?”

“Ooh, this sounds interesting.” I mirror her pose, leaning in so our faces are only a few inches away from each other. “Dish.”

“He has a piercing.”

“Nipple?” I ask, far too enthralled, but she shakes her head. I sit up straight and measure roughly eight inches between my palms. She nods. “No!” I look over to the reserved, standoffish Drew, my eyes automatically dropping to his crotch.

“You won’t see it through his jeans, Ava.” Kate chuckles, and I’m off again, too. Uncontrollable, belly clenching, might-pee-my-knickers laughter. Through my tears, I see Kate stick her tongue in her cheek. “I nearly cracked a tooth.”

“Please!” I’m falling all over my chair. I’m helpless.

“Something funny?”

I battle to pull myself together and wipe my eyes, looking up at my Lord of the Sex Manor, who’s staring down at his giggling wife with a bemused look plastered all over his face. “No, nothing.” I bet he knew about this, which was why he persistently told me to mind my own business.

Jesse sits down next to me. “Here’s your dinner.” He signals Pete, who’s wandering over with a tray.

“Ooh, I’m starving.” I get myself comfy in my chair and smile a thanks when my steak is placed in front of me. “Medium?” I ask.

Pete smiles fondly. “Just to your liking, Ava.” He hands me a knife and fork, and then sets Jesse’s plate down. “Can I get you anything else, sir?”

“No, thanks, Pete.”

“I’ll leave you to eat.” Kate makes to stand, but I wave my knife at her.

“It’s fine. Sit down.”

She lowers to the chair again. “Okay, you don’t have to get all violent on me.”

Jesse’s hand is suddenly wrapped around my wrist and pulling it down to the table.

I look at my knife, which is now safely set on the side of my plate. “Sorry.” I start carving my way through my steak and sigh, long and satisfied, as I plunge a piece into my mouth.

“Good?” Jesse asks, and I look at him, finding a pleased beam around his fork.

“As always,” I confirm before returning my attention to Kate. But I quickly realize that our new company is preventing any further questioning. In fact, I can’t think of anything to talk about now. All of the interesting stuff is now off the cards, even more so when Sam
and
Drew join us.

My chewing slows down, and I watch as Drew sits on one side of Kate, Sam on the other. I’ll never look at them the same again, and damn if my eyes won’t stop wandering into Drew’s lap. A piercing? And a piercing there? I fail to prevent the small chuckle that spurts from my mouth around my mouthful of steak. Kate catches my eyes and sticks her tongue back in her cheek.

I choke.

I’m coughing and spluttering all over the place. Jesse’s cutlery hits his plate and his hand lands on my back. He starts smacking me. “Fucking hell, woman. Slow down.”

This doesn’t help me in the slightest. I’m gasping for breath, trying to swallow down my half-chewed piece of meat and through the tears that have sprung into my eyes, I can see Sam and Drew staring at me with perplexed looks on their faces, and my delinquent best friend with the biggest smirk spread across her pale features. “I’m okay,” I wheeze, coughing again to clear my throat. “Went down the wrong way.”

“Here.” Jesse takes my knife and fork and replaces them with a glass of water. “Drink.”

“Thank you.” I accept the glass and gulp it all down, striving to avoid Kate’s gaze across the table, but failing miserably. Her mischievous mood is like a magnet to my vulnerable state. This time she’s mimicking a blowjob, her fist casually wanking thin air in front of her mouth. I spit my water across the table, all over Drew and Sam, and I aim well because I catch Kate, too. Sam and Drew fly up from their chairs, but Kate stays exactly where she is, laughing.

“Fucking hell, Ava.” Jesse grabs a napkin. “What the hell is wrong with you?” He starts dabbing at my mouth while I fall apart all over the place, hearing Sam and Drew cursing to themselves and Kate’s continued giggles.

“I’m sorry,” I say, laughing. “I’m so sorry.” I look at Sam and Drew, both patting themselves down with napkins. I refuse to look at Kate.

“Are you okay?” Jesse’s concerned voice drags my attention back to him.

“I’m sorry,” I repeat. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” I do, and the wicked cow is sitting opposite me, silently willing me to look at her. I don’t. I take my cutlery back and turn my eyes down to my plate, and that’s where I’ll be keeping them until I’ve finished my dinner.

“Is this what pregnancy does to women?” Sam asks on a chuckle.

“It’s better than mood swings,” Kate snickers.

“Yeah, let me know when they start,” Drew pipes up. “I can handle being spat at, but I’m not up for a tongue lashing.”

Oh, good Lord! I can feel my shoulders starting to jerk up and down, and I know Kate is grinning at me again, but this time I control it. I keep my head down and work my way through the rest of my dinner.

“I take it you’re done?” Jesse says to my empty plate.

“Hmm.” I fall back in my chair. “That was heaven.”

“We can see.” Drew’s eyebrows are raised as he watches Pete clear the table.

“Say your good-byes, lady. It’s getting late.” Jesse leans over the table and shakes hands with the boys before standing and giving Kate a peck on the cheek.

“Ring me,” I whisper to Kate as I lean in to kiss her, too.

“I will,” she sings.

As we exit the bar, Jesse looks down at me with inquiring eyes. “Gathered yourself together now, Mrs. Ward?”

I meet his stare with a questioning look. “You knew, didn’t you?”

“About what?”

“About Kate, Sam, and Drew.” I let him guide me through the entrance hall, but keep my eyes on him.

There’s no denying the flash of surprise that flies across his face. “Is that what you were laughing about? She told you?”

“Yes,” I confirm, wanting to add that she actually told me a lot more—a lot,
lot
more. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“And give you something to get your knickers in a twist over?”

“I wouldn’t have,” I announce confidently, as we crunch our way across the gravel. “Shall I take my giant snowball?”

“No, you’re coming with me.” I’m directed into the passenger seat of the DBS, but I don’t complain.

He starts the engine and cruises sensibly down the driveway, and it’s not until I feel his hand rest over mine that I realize mine is laid flat on my stomach. I don’t need visual validation that he’s looking at me, so I continue to watch the trees slowly passing the passenger window as I feel his fingers lace through mine and squeeze gently.

I smile to myself. This is just so right.