Authors: Lynda LeeAnne
“I trust you; it’s him I don’t trust. And is
being here that bad?” He almost sounded like I hurt his
feelings.
“I love it here. I think I’m just going a
little nuts because I can’t go anywhere. I can’t go to the grocery
store, you or Larry have to go for me. I can’t go buy clothes or
get a pedicure… we can’t even go to dinner or a movie. I just… I
thought it would be safe at the clinic. Shane and Shannon aren’t
getting along. She’s quitting and he needs help. There’s no telling
if, or when, Zacharias will be caught and I thought this would be
perfect.”
“We’ll talk about it later,” Tony offered
and stood up.
“Tony, I’m doing it.” I didn’t need his
permission. I wanted him to be okay with the idea, but I wasn’t
going to let him control my life; especially since the only reason
he didn’t want me to work with Shane, was because he didn’t trust
me. He never once mentioned the fact that it might not be safe.
“You’re not doin’ it,” he stated in an
authoritative tone that only served to make me really, really mad.
I sat there fuming when he rounded the table, kissed me on the
cheek and left without looking back.
I did what I said I was going to do. I went
outside, searched for Shane and told him I was in. I would go with
him first thing in the morning.
When I explained my plans to Tony after he
got home, he was so mad that I got the silent treatment. He
wouldn’t even look at me. He grabbed his keys and said, “I’m going
out.”
He didn’t get home until one o’clock in the
morning. When he decided to go straight to his office the next
morning instead of having breakfast with me, I started to doubt my
decision about working with Shane. I could have easily told him
that I couldn’t help anymore, but that would have been childish. I
had to put my foot down somewhere.
I left with Shane.
I sat through a few patient visits and spent
time with Shannon… who I adored. She was also an amazing assistant
and the patients seemed to love her too.
When I called Tony around two in the
afternoon to ask him to come pick me up, he wouldn’t answer.
Shannon had to drop me off.
“Hey,” I said when I walked into the house
and saw Tony in the living room.
He muttered, “Hey,” back, but he wouldn’t
look at me.
“Tony, please don’t be mad,” I pleaded, but
Tony didn’t want to hear it. He walked to me, kissed me awkwardly
on the cheek and said he needed to run an errand in town. He said
he’d be back later.
I was surprised when he was home for dinner.
However, neither one of us said much.
That routine continued for the next two
weeks. Except for the sex, sometimes with protection, sometimes
without, the cuddling afterward and the holding me like he never
wanted to let me go… everything else was forced.
Everything had changed and I had no idea how
to fix it. I didn’t even know if our relationship was fixable. Tony
still didn’t trust me and his animosity toward Shane only grew. He
was uptight and stressed, and I was exhausted from the emotional
turmoil.
I felt like an obligation.
Especially since he’d started going out at
night; he’d done that twice. The first night, the day after we
fought about me working, he came home drunk. He wasn’t wasted, but
he’d had enough that I could smell it all over him. And last night,
he left and didn’t come in until one o’clock in the morning again.
He climbed in bed, didn’t even touch me and knocked out cold. This
time, he didn’t smell like alcohol, he reeked of perfume. I got up,
moved to my old bedroom and cried myself to sleep.
Now, I sat on the edge of the bed and stared
down at him looking so peaceful and innocent, but I knew in my
heart that he was anything but. He was right next to me, but felt a
world apart. I knew something had happened last night, I just
wondered with whom.
His brunette? BJ?
I thought back to my daily conversations
with Lex, Gayle and my dad. They all wanted me to hang in there.
They never said the words, but they wanted me and Tony to get back
together.
When his eyes opened, he groaned and threw
an arm over them as a shield from the light that poured through the
window.
“I guess that means you had a good time last
night,” I said. I kept my voice soft.
“It was all right,” he grumbled, but other
than that, he didn’t move. I’d decided I was going to leave today.
No matter what he had to say, even if he begged me to stay on his
hands and knees, I was leaving. I stood up; heartbroken.
“Judging by the smell of perfume, I imagine
your night was more than all right,” I whispered.
His arm fell away from his eyes when he
asked, “What?”
I shook my head and swallowed past the lump
in my throat. “Just forget it, Tony.” I walked in the closet,
dressed in jeans, tennis shoes and a tight, pink, v-neck shirt.
When I walked out, Tony was still lying in the same position, but
now, he watched every move I made through narrowed eyes.
“Mi reina--” he began, but I didn’t hear the
rest because I walked out the door. I headed for Starla, the only
person, or animal, who could make me feel better. It calmed me to
sit with her, to help her, to talk to her and watch her walk around
inside the riding ring. Even with stiff joints and swollen
ligaments, she handled her exercise like a pro.
Starla was the only constant in my life. The
thought of leaving her made me sick to my stomach, but I was more
than ready to go home. Of course, I hated the idea of leaving Tony
too, but it was obvious he didn’t want me here. He cared about me,
that much I knew, but it wasn’t enough.
“Hey there!” I heard called out and the
accent took me out of my thoughts. I looked and saw Shane heading
my way just as I opened Starla’s stall door.
I Shane only came here in the mornings,
sometimes afternoons, but his later visits had slowed down quite a
bit. I supposed he figured that, with me here, it wasn’t necessary.
He could call on me if something needed to be checked out. I didn’t
mind at all and it was the least I could do for him. I could have
kissed him for giving me so much leeway with Starla’s
treatment.
“How’s our girl this morning?” he asked.
“Looks like she’s toughing it out. Our girl
here is a fighter,” I said as I went back to the task at hand. I
hooked on her reigns and walked Starla to the riding ring as Shane
followed. When one of the stable boys came out and offered to walk
her around for me, I met Shane on the opposite side of the white
wooden fence and stood next to him. Shane was already leaned over
with his forearms resting on the fence.
“How’re things with Shannon?” I asked
quietly.
He shrugged. “She hates me and I don’t blame
her. She’s hiding something, but she won’t talk about it and for
some reason, I can’t stop hurting her. She’s still working for me
though. I keep finding ways to guilt her into staying.”
I froze. Shane and I talked every day, but
it was always me that whined to him about Tony. Shane rarely
discussed anything personal about himself.
“She’s never going to tell you anything if
you keep making her feel unsafe. Just tell her how you feel.”
Shane shook his head. “She’s too young for
me.”
I thought on that.
“Ummm… say what?”
“She’s twenty-five and I’m thirty-four.
She’s too young for me,” he said, but he wouldn’t look at me.
“Please tell me you’re joking,” I asked
incredulously as I stared up at him in complete disbelief.
Shane shook his head. “No, I’m not.”
“Tony’s five years older than me, but he
still acts like a kid sometimes. Age is just a number, Shane, and I
think Shannon’s been through a lot. She’d no kid. The way she’s
handled herself by not just up and leaving your ass at the clinic
shows just how mature she is.”
“Maybe,” he replied softly.
“Just don’t hurt her anymore, Shane. Some
people can only take so much before they break,” I whispered and he
faced me then. I looked away.
“Is that where you are right now? Your
breaking point? You know, I still can’t figure out why you let him
do this to you.”
“I’m not breaking; I’m already broken,” I
whispered, tormented.
Suddenly, I felt a hand under my chin and my
face was lifted to meet Shane’s gaze.
“Don’t do this to yourself,” he ordered as
we gazed into each other’s eyes. His thumb caressed my jaw
tenderly; not with desire, but with concern.
I broke down into tears and he pulled my
into his embrace. He whispered comforting words in my ear as I
clung to him. It was innocent, but I was desperate to make the pain
go away.
Too bad it didn’t look innocent to the
violent man heading in our direction.
“Get your fuckin’ hands off her!” I heard
shouted and Shane’s arms instantly fell away. I twisted my neck
just as Tony charged.
“Stop!” I screamed through my tears when
Tony swung. When his fist connected with Shane’s face, he shouted,
“Motherfucker!”
The hit looked so hard I thought Shane would
go down, but he shifted his feet just in time to catch his balance.
He lunged, met Tony head on and they wrestled before they finally
took it to the ground. Arms and dirt were flying everywhere, but
neither of them backed down.
They’re going to kill each other
.
Luckily, two of the stable workers ran our
way, and when they made it, both men pulled Tony and Shane
apart.
“You fools!” I heard Larry shout as he made
it to us as well.
They were both covered in dirt and grass
stains. Both continued to glare each other and their breathing was
labored. Shane’s nose was bleeding. Tony’s beautiful bottom lip was
busted.
When I took a step towards him, he shouted,
“Stay the fuck away from me!”
I froze.
“I knew you were nothing, but a dirty little
whore,” he shouted at me.
“But that wasn’t what it looked like,” I
cried softly because everyone was staring at us. Even Shane was
frozen.
“Really? Just like those pictures weren’t
what they looked like?” he shouted again.
I shook my head because I couldn’t speak
past the tightness in my throat.
“You know what? I want you out of here. Get
the fuck out of my house and stay out of my life! I was only using
you while you were here, but found someone better last night. You
were a good fuck, but that’s about all you were good for.”
“Please stop,” I whispered.
“I don’t even know why I bothered keeping
you here. I hope Zacharias finds you. Then the world would have one
less bitch in it.”
“Boy--” Larry started, but Tony cut him off
with a glare so potent that Larry snapped his mouth shut.
He walked up to me then, grabbed the crown
charm necklace around my neck with both hands and busted the
chain.
“
Get the fuck out of my house
,” Tony
barked. He emphasized every word. “I’m giving you four hours to get
the hell out and you better be gone by the time I get back,” he
warned before he turned away.
I collapsed to the ground beneath my feet as
a sob ripped through my body. I felt arms wrap around me, they
comforted me, but I couldn’t move. The arms around me moved and my
lifeless body was lifted.
I bawled against Shane’s chest until I had
nothing left. I wasn’t even in pain anymore. I was numb to the
world. I begged Shane to leave, but he refused to go until he knew
someone was on their way to get me. So, as soon as I composed
myself, I called Adam. I couldn’t say anything other than, “Adam,
please come get me,” my voice was so faint, I was surprised he’d
heard at all.
“I’m on my way,” he’d said in a rush and
didn’t ask me one question before he hung up.
I had no idea how much time had passed, but
I knew it wouldn’t be long before Tony returned. I’d finally
managed to kick Shane out, which was good, because Adam knocked on
the front door only minutes after he left.
But when I opened the front door, it wasn’t
Adam.
There was a white Tahoe parked out front
when I pulled up.
She still wasn’t outta my fuckin’
house
.
I parked, got out, but stopped short when I
saw a man who looked very similar to Adam kneeling in my
doorway.
“What the fuck are you doin’?” I called out,
but didn’t even make it to the first step before Adam barreled down
them. He grabbed me by the shirt and shouted in my face, “Where the
fuck is she?”
I shoved him off.
I froze. I already knew.
“Who?” I whispered.
“Trish. Where the fuck is she? I’ve been
here thirty fuckin’ minutes, your door was wide open when I got
here and she’s not in the house.”
No…
Bile rose from my gut to my throat, but I
tamped it down and ran up the steps into the house.
“Trish!” I shouted over and over as I
searched every room. Her bags were packed and sat in the front
room. Everything of hers must have been inside them because there
was no sign of her left in my house.
I pulled out my phone to call Shane.
“What?” he barked because he already knew it
was me and didn’t like that I was calling. I wanted to murder him,
but that wasn’t my concern right now.
“Where’s Trish?” I yelled through the
phone.
“You’re asking me this because…?”
“She’s gone, but her bags are still here.
She’s not with you?”
Silence just before, “Fuck! I knew I
shouldn’t have left her, but she begged me to leave! She said
someone was coming for her…” his voice trailed off. “She was
broken,” he whispered before his voice filled with determination.
“I’m on my way.” He hung up on me.
“Well?” Adam asked and I ignored him to
think fast.