Trouble & the Wallflower (21 page)

The next time Davy opened his eyes, they were lying down, sheet pulled over their naked bodies. Gavin had pulled Davy so his back was flush to his chest and wrapped his arm around Davy’s waist. Davy sighed contentedly.

“I love you so much, Davy.”

“I love you, Gavin.” Davy lay quietly for a moment, then whispered, “I’m glad you were happy about the key.”

Gavin hooked a leg between Davy’s. “Best gift I’ve ever gotten.”

Davy rolled his eyes. He was strangely wide-awake now that he was all tucked in with Gavin. He’d been meaning to ask for days, but they hadn’t had a chance, so he finally brought up the elephant in the room, knowing Gavin was much more agreeable post-orgasm. “How’s it going with your family?”

Gavin grunted.

“That good, huh?”

Gavin was silent for another moment. “Shit, Davy, what do you want me to say?”

Davy patted Gavin’s hand. “Nothing. I just was asking, okay?”

Gavin was quiet for another minute. “Yeah. I’m sorry. It’s just…. Stressful.”

“You know I’m here if you wanna talk, right?”

Gavin hugged tighter to Davy as if he were trying to crawl inside him. “I know. I’m just all mixed up right now. You’re the only thing right in my life right now. I kinda like keeping the rest of it out of here. I don’t want it in the middle of us.”

“I understand. Whatever you need,” Davy said. And he meant it. Whatever Gavin needed he could do. He could be strong for Gavin. He could talk to strangers or… babysit children for Gavin. “Can I just say one thing?”

“Sure.”

Davy inhaled, nervous as to how Gavin might react to what he was about to say. He’d been practicing it in his head for days and hoped it came out right. “I know what happened with your mom in the past was fucked-up. And I know you can’t just make that go away, and nothing my mom did was that bad, but there’s this anger I have toward my mom that I’ll never get to forgive her for. She died. She never even knew I
was
angry. And it hurts. It eats you up inside some days. So if she’s trying—I’m not saying you have to forgive her now, or ever—but maybe you should at least talk to her about it. Scream at her. Get it out.”

Gavin had stopped breathing at some point as Davy tumbled over his words. Davy closed his eyes tight, hoping he hadn’t pissed Gavin off. “I know it’s none of my business—”

Gavin put a hand over Davy’s mouth. “Of course it’s your business. You’re looking out for me. I get that.”

Davy thought maybe Gavin had something else to say, but not long after that, Gavin was snoring. He wasn’t sleeping peacefully, clinging to Davy, but he was obviously done with the subject.

Davy hoped he hadn’t said something stupid. He really did just want Gavin to be okay, and Gavin didn’t seem as though he was dealing with this.

Davy wrapped both his arms around the arm Gavin had thrown around his chest and hugged it. His last thought before falling asleep was of how much he just wanted Gavin to be happy.

G
AVIN
HELPED
Oliver put the final sticker on the plastic model Chevelle he’d bought for them to work on together. He’d taken Oliver to his favorite model store in the market and let Oliver pick out one of the kiddy models the kid was probably still too young to do, but Gavin had done most of it while Oliver chatted away in his lap. Gavin loved it because building models had always been his way of clearing his head. He’d done a couple hundred in his life and sharing it with his little brother was cool. He’d never shared this with anyone.

“All right, little dude. We’re all done,” Gavin announced.

“All done?” Oliver asked excitedly and tried to reach for it.

Gavin stopped his pudgy little arm and laughed at Oliver’s enthusiasm. “Whoa, man. We gotta let it dry first. But yeah. It’s all done.”

“Cooool!” Oliver yelled it louder than necessary, but Oliver did everything louder than necessary. Which Gavin found strange, since Oliver seemed weirdly respectful and careful with everything else. From his manners to his handling of breakable objects, the boy was eerily reticent. But his voice…. Loud. This kid was fucking loud.

Oliver bounced in Gavin’s lap. “I go tell Grampa!”

I’m sure he heard.
Gavin chuckled and helped Oliver down out of his lap. “Just remember not to jump in his lap, little guy.”

“I not little guy!” Oliver hollered. “I big boy!”

Gavin held his hands up in apology. “My bad. You’re so right. You are. Well, be a big guy and go tell Grampa, quietly, and don’t jump in his lap.”

Oliver patted Gavin’s knee. “I know. Grampa is sick and that makes you sad.”

“Yeah.” Gavin was amazed at the things the kid picked up on.

“It okay, Gavvy. I love you.” Oliver smiled, threw a hug around Gavin’s middle, then ran off to the den to find Ray.

Gavin sucked in a breath and held it. Who knew the kid could make him so damn weepy?
I knew I was screwed.

As Gavin dumped leftover plastic into the recycle bins underneath the counter, Carmen came in through the swinging door. She paused for a moment when she saw him. She’d been politely staying out of his space unless he came to her or she had a question about the household.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi, Gavin,” Carmen replied with a hopeful smile.

Another reason Gavin had enjoyed working on the model car with Oliver was that it had given him time to reflect on what Davy had said a week ago about his own mother dying before he’d been able to forgive her. He’d needed to really consider what he might say to her.

He figured simple was best. If she wanted to try, he’d meet her on the road. Not halfway, but he’d take a step toward her.

“I told Oliver that Sean and I would take him to see the guys throw the fish down at the market. They were done for the day when I took him to the model store. Would you wanna come?”

He could tell she had to contain herself from jumping at the offer. “Only if you don’t mind,” she said, keeping her tone even.

He chewed the inside of his cheek for a second, then made up his mind. “Yeah. Yeah, it’d be cool if you came.”

She pulled her lips between her teeth, probably trying to hold back a smile. “Will Davy be coming?”

Gavin curled up his lip. “No, but we’ll probably swing by Bart’s to get Oliver some ice cream. If it’s a problem—”

“No, no that’s not what I was saying, Gavin. I just wondered,” she said earnestly. He couldn’t tell if she was backtracking or if she’d really not meant anything by it. He was convinced she didn’t like that he was with Davy, and he couldn’t imagine why. Or maybe she was just jealous, as usual, that his life wasn’t as shitty as hers had been at his age. Fuck if he cared.

“Well, we thought we’d go tomorrow since Sean is off, so we’ll probably swing by to get you guys around noon.”

“Oh. You’re staying at Davy’s again?”

“Well, you’re in my room.”

“There are guest rooms.”

“And you’re pushing it.”

She shut her mouth against whatever she was about to say. She looked as though she was thinking over the best way to say whatever she had in mind. “It’d be nice to have you home for dinner one night. I thought I’d cook something.”

Gavin frowned thoughtfully. “Since when do you cook, Carmen?”

“I wish you wouldn’t call me that.”

Gavin crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her hard.

She shrank under his gaze. “Well, would you and Davy have dinner here tomorrow night, then?”

Gavin stewed it over for a minute. Tomorrow was supposed to be Davy’s half day at work, so he didn’t imagine Davy would have a problem coming for dinner. “Sure. It’d do Ray good to see the whole family here.”

Carmen put on her fake smile at his using the word family, and he resisted the urge to pounce.

“It’s a date,” she said.

“Cool. Well, I’m gonna go say good night to Ray and Oliver. I’ve got homework to do.”

“See you in the morning,” she said. He gathered his box of model-building materials. Carmen stopped him with a light touch to his arm as he walked by her toward the door. She pulled her hand back quickly, but he still stopped. “I appreciate you asking me to come. And for agreeing to dinner.”

He searched her face for a moment. “Cool” was all he could think to say. “See you tomorrow.”

Gotta start somewhere.

A
S
G
AVIN
drove everyone home, Oliver passed out in his car seat that was buckled in the backseat of the truck. Gavin thought their day out hadn’t been as awkward as he’d feared it might be. Oliver had been mesmerized by the massive flying fish as the men at the market tossed them back and forth, putting on one of Seattle’s most well-known tourist attractions. He’d been thrilled about the loud way Oliver got thrilled over everything when he received a high five from one of the fishmongers for dropping the tip money Davy had sent with them into the jar. Gavin had to hand it to Davy. For someone who was horrified he didn’t know what the hell to do with a kid, Davy knew what would make Oliver’s day. And getting a high five from one of the “magic fish guys” had been a highlight Oliver had babbled about over and over.

One thing that hadn’t surprised Gavin was how well Carmen and Sean had gotten along. He knew Sean would keep the peace for Gavin and Oliver’s sake, and Carmen still had the old charm that, if you didn’t know what ugliness she’s once used it for, could completely beguile you.

When they made it back to the house, Sean took his leave, claiming tiredness, but Gavin suspected he’d been worn out keeping up the nice front with Carmen. Sean may not have known about what happened with Max, but he’d met Gavin at his lowest and been around to see the repercussions of Gavin’s bad teenage years. He didn’t seem quite ready to be civil to her for long increments of time.

Gavin understood, but he was still on a high from spending the day with one of his best friends and his little brother. He was still totally shocked at the idea of having a little brother
—
you didn’t get used to that overnight—but after a few weeks the weirdness was wearing off, and he fell in love with the kid (and his loud-ass mouth) a little more every day, though getting him to say it enthusiastically just now would take pulling teeth. He still had a rep to protect.

When he’d said the latter out loud to Davy in the privacy of Davy’s apartment, he’d been openly mocked. Damn that guy for knowing him too well. And wasn’t that a whole other overwhelming development? Gavin wasn’t sure where all of the insanity of domestic bliss had come from over the past few months, but it was so different that he barely recognized it. He was thankful every morning he woke up in Davy’s arms that he’d found Davy before Gavin’s mother and Oliver had appeared in his den, or he may have lost the chance to enjoy his brother, and maybe—maybe—give his mom a chance.

A few times throughout the day, he’d noticed how Carmen looked at his interactions with Oliver, affection and hope open on her face. She seemed so bright, and her eyes were clearer than he’d seen in such a long time before he’d moved to Seattle. He still had too much baggage to just up and give a shit that she was apparently sober for real this time, but he felt the stupid tingles of hope in there somewhere.

He kept Davy’s words in his head. No matter what horrible mistakes she’d made, she was his mother. He’d regret it more on his side for not trying. And more than anything, this was for Oliver. He needed to make sure that even if his mom fell off the wagon again, Oliver always knew he’d have Gavin around.

He told himself this was all for Oliver. The small child in his heart who called out for his mother’s love all those years begged to differ, though. Damn that inner child.

When they got home, Oliver woke and went from sleepy to a very loud babbling ball of energy in short order. Davy was already there helping Ray with a Sudoku when Gavin and the others wandered into the house. Gavin’s shoulders slumped in relief when Davy and his grandfather looked up at him with welcoming smiles.

“Davy, good to see you,” Carmen said cheerfully. If anyone else questioned the sincerity in her voice, they kept it to themselves, though she had seemed to warm to him more after her first visit. Maybe she just needed to get used to him. Davy’s quiet demeanor and eyes that seemed able to read you like a book could be unnerving if you didn’t know how genuinely kind the guy was. To someone like Carmen, who’d probably dealt with few genuine people in her life, Davy’s frequent appraisal of her in social situations was probably intimidating, especially knowing how much Gavin cared for him.