Wayward Hearts (3 page)

Waves of anger rippled through her. How she hated this farm—loathed it with every fiber of her being. She hated it as much as Charlie had loved it. Every bad thing that had ever happened in her life, she blamed directly on this farm.

Including Drew's death—

“There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you.”

Maxi jolted on the wooden stair and twisted around to see her best friend, Lily Draper—no, Lily Logan now—step out onto the porch. She stood with one hand on her very pregnant belly and pushed her long, dark hair off her face with the other.

Maxi tried to smile. “Sorry. Just needed a few minutes alone.”

Lily took a seat beside her, her stomach protruding in front. “I thought you might be hiding from Jason.” The teasing quality to her voice brought a snort to Maxi's lips.

“That, too.”

Lily wrapped an arm around Maxi's shoulders. “I'm so sorry about Charlie. How are you holding up?”

A storm of tears lodged in Maxi's throat. She'd managed fine all day and would not break down now. “I'm fine.”
Liar.

“I know you didn't get along well with him. Still, this must be difficult for you.”

Maxi shrugged. “It's no real surprise he's gone. I think we all knew his drinking would lead to this one day.” She bit her lip to keep her emotions contained. “It's my mom I'm worried about. She can't live here by herself. Her condition's become much worse since I left.”

A soft breeze blew the scent of Lily's subtle perfume across Maxi's nose.

“Is there any way to slow the progress of MS?”

“Not really. Sometimes she's stable for a while. Then she gets worse again.”

“So what are you going to do?”

Maxi leaned her head against the railing for a moment and sighed. That one simple question summed up her whole dilemma. “I wish I knew.” Maxi pushed to her feet. “I'd better get back inside. Aidan will worry. And the dishes won't wash themselves.”

“If I can help in any way with your mom, you know I'm here for you.” The sympathy in Lily's eyes was genuine.

“Thanks, but I'm sure we'll figure something out.” She opened the screen door and waited for Lily to enter the kitchen.

“How long are you staying in town?” Lily walked to the long counter that lined the wall of the country kitchen.

“I'm not sure. I need to get back to the city as soon possible. But first I have to figure out what to do about Mama.” Maxi took a block of cheese from the refrigerator and set it on the wooden cutting board. She would keep the finger foods going until the remaining handful of friends had left.

Following Maxi's example, Lily began to chop cucumbers to refill the vegetable tray. “I can ask Nick to look into some facilities for you, in case you decide to go that route. Being a minister has some advantages. He'll know which places are good and which aren't.”

Gratitude for the compassion of her friends lifted Maxi's spirits for the moment. As much as she hated to think of her mother in some sort of facility, she had to face the cold reality that there may not be another option. “That would be helpful. Thanks.”

“I saw you talking to Jason earlier.”

Bands of tension returned to Maxi's shoulders. Without looking at Lily, she turned to the fridge to get another pitcher of iced tea. “Yeah, he was here.”

“Was it difficult seeing him again?”

The truth of Lily's observation hit hard. Maxi took a deep breath and closed the fridge door. “Why would you ask that?”

“Gee, maybe because you've had a crush on him for as long as I've known you.”

A dozen different emotions sifted through Maxi, but the only one she let surface was anger. “That crush ended a long time ago. Just being back here makes me realize how much I hate the small town way of life. I can't wait to get back to New York.”

Lily laid down the knife. “Good thing I know you better than that, or I might take offense. Seeing that I'm part of this small town.”

Maxi heaved a sigh as anger morphed into weariness. She swiped her arm across her forehead. “I'm sorry. Don't listen to me right now. I don't know what I'm saying.”

Lily crossed the distance between them and put her arms around her. “It's OK. Just breathe and put one foot in front of the other. The rest will work itself out in God's time. It always does.”

Maxi allowed the comfort of Lily's embrace to seep into her weary soul. She envied the conviction of her friend's newfound faith. If only Maxi could find comfort in a God who cared about her.

But Drew's senseless death had destroyed the threads of her trust in God. Her father's demise only reinforced the fact that despite Mama's constant litany of prayers, God paid very little attention to the plight of the North family.

And Maxi had no reason to believe that would change anytime soon.

 

 

 

 

3

 

Jason let all Sunday go by without calling Maxi. He figured she'd need time to recuperate from the funeral. Now, late Monday afternoon, he packed up his toolbox and hauled it out to his truck. He'd been working for the past few months renovating Lily and Nick Logan's main floor living area—a job that was taking longer than expected. Jason wiped the sweat off his forehead with his sleeve and slammed his tailgate shut just as Lily pulled into the driveway beside him.

He watched her struggle to wedge her pregnant belly past the steering wheel to get out. Jason tried not to smile and went to help her lift two bags of groceries out of the trunk.

“Thanks, Jason.” Her large brown eyes lit up. “Everything's so difficult with this watermelon in the way.” She rubbed her abdomen with loving fingers.

He chuckled as he carried the sacks up the stairs and inside the front door. “Where would you like these? Kitchen counter?”

“Perfect.” She followed him at a slower pace into the homey kitchen. “So, have you seen Maxi since the funeral?”

He put down the bags and glanced over at her, certain her question carried more weight than her casual tone implied. Especially since Lily was Maxi's best friend. “Nope. Figured she needed some time to recuperate.”

Lily's warm gaze slid to his. “And now?”

Jason tensed at her scrutiny. No way was he going to discuss Maxi with her. He shrugged, attempting a casual air. “I'll probably see her sometime before she goes back.”

“Good. I know she's missed you.” Lily took some cans out of the first bag.

He snorted. “Could've fooled me.”

Lily turned to face him, one hand on her hip, head cocked. “Did you two argue before she left?”

Her voice was soft, but the question jarred him. “Yeah, we did,” he admitted. “Seemed like she was spoiling for a fight that day.” He frowned. “It was stupid.”

Lily came closer and laid a hand on his arm. “Don't let her avoid you this time. She needs all the support she can get with her dad gone and her mom's health so bad.”

“I'll do what I can.” He stepped back, hoping to escape Lily's probing.

“You still here, Hanley?” Nick Logan's voice boomed down the hall. “My wife must have you doing extra chores.”

So much for his escape.

“He's helping me with the groceries,” Lily called back.

Nick entered the kitchen, loosening his clerical collar. He stopped to give Lily a kiss. “You should wait for me to do the shopping,” he scolded. “Doc said you shouldn't be on your feet too much.”

She rolled her eyes in mock exasperation but continued to unpack the bag.

Jason bit back a laugh and turned to Nick. “How are things at the shelter?”

He'd helped Nick turn the abandoned Strickland house into a shelter for abused women and children, and though the facility had opened six months ago, it had taken awhile for word of mouth to spread of its existence.

Nick ran a hand through his dark blond hair. “Busy, but good. Another family moved in today.”

Lily's eyebrows shot up, interest lighting her face. “If you need me tomorrow, I could come by for a few hours.”

Nick frowned as he stored perishables in the fridge. “I thought we agreed you wouldn't work anymore until after the baby's born.”

Lily planted her hands on her hips, her famous temper beginning to show. “I did
not
agree. You and Doc ganged up on me.”

Jason couldn't help but smile. After working with the Logans for almost a year, first at the shelter and now renovating their home, he'd come to love their good-natured bickering. They'd overcome many obstacles to be together, thanks in large part to Maxi, who had helped them realize their true feelings for each other.

“Well, you two, I've got things to do, so I'll leave you to work out your…issues.” Jason smiled and bent to kiss Lily's cheek, ignoring her scowl. He clapped Nick on the back and then headed out to his truck, his mind on Maxi.

Very soon, he planned to have a serious talk with his former best friend and figure out just where things stood between them.

 

****

 

Monday after dinner, Maxi wheeled her mother into the living room and turned on the TV for her to watch her favorite game show. She helped her onto the sofa, got her settled with a pillow behind her, and went back to the kitchen to clear the table and do the dishes.

Maxi scraped the food from her mother's plate into the trash. She'd barely picked at her meal. Maxi blew out a tired breath. As soon as the chores were done, she would find some treat to tempt Mama's appetite.

Bones aching with weariness, she filled the sink with soapy water, lamenting the fact that her father had never allowed them to install a dishwasher. One more example of his selfishness. She clanked the dishes in the sink, sloshing the water with extra force.

An arm reached from behind to still her hand. “Take it easy. Those are Mom's good dishes.”

Water splashed onto the counter. “Aidan. You scared me.”

She looked over her shoulder at her sibling and flicked suds at him. He grinned, reminding her of the little boy he'd once been. His gray-blue eyes, so sincere, always contained a glimpse of humor or mischief. His sandy hair had darkened somewhat over the years, but he'd only grown more handsome. Maxi thought Drew might look very similar if he'd lived this long. Immediately, she wrenched her thoughts away from that painful subject.

Aidan picked up a towel and began to dry the dishes. They worked in companionable silence until the need to talk overcame Maxi.

“I can't believe how much worse Mama is since the last time I was home. I don't think she can live here by herself, Aidan. What are we going to do?” Her shoulders slumped. None of the possible solutions to this problem sat well with her. “I can't move back here to look after her. My career is at a crucial point right now.”

Aidan stopped drying. “No one expects you to give up your dream, Max.”

“Well, you've just started teaching. You can't move back either.”

They'd all been so proud when Aidan got his degree and landed a teaching job right away. The only drawback was they missed Aidan, who was way out in Arizona.

“No. I can't abandon my students right now.” His face was a study in seriousness. “I've made a commitment to them.”

“I know.” She let the water out of the sink, watching the suds do a slow swirl down the drain. “Of course, Cal is out of the question. I can't believe he even came home for the funeral.” But not surprised he left town again right after the ceremony. Just as well. Trouble followed Calvin wherever he went.

Aidan dried the last dish and reached to put it in the cupboard, avoiding her gaze. A prickle of intuition hit Maxi. “Has Cal been in touch with you?”

Aidan had the grace to look sheepish. “He called a few months ago.”

Maxi planted her hands on her hips. “Looking for money, I'll bet.”

Aidan nodded. “Same old story. Lost his job. Needed something to tide him over…”

“Tell me you didn't give him anything.” Maxi crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back against the counter, trying to contain her anger at her oldest brother. “You can't keep bailing him out of every mess he gets into.”

Aidan sighed. “I gave him a little, not much.”

She frowned her displeasure.

“He's our brother. What am I supposed to do? Let him starve?”

“How about letting him stand on his own two feet? And take responsibility for the problems he creates.” She grabbed the dishcloth off the counter and began to scour the large wooden table that dominated the room. “He's one of the main reasons Charlie was so unhappy. Why couldn't Cal just remain here and work the farm?”

“Same reason you and I couldn't,” Aidan replied in a low voice. “He hates farm life. And the pressure Dad put on him to stay only aggravated the situation.”

Maxi tensed, remembering the fights she'd had with her father over doing the farm chores, the guilt he'd laid on all of them for shirking their duty. The guilt he'd smothered her in over Drew…She heaved in a great gulp of air and forced her mind away from those tortuous thoughts.

No wonder she'd dreaded coming home for this funeral. All the bad family blood bubbled up, threatening to swallow her whole.

“I hope he said good-bye to Mama before he left,” she snapped. “She has enough grief to deal with right now.”

Aidan stepped toward her, took the rag from her hands and pulled her into a hug. “I'm pretty sure he did. You look exhausted. Why don't you head off to bed, and let me look after Mama?”

“I will soon.” She rested her cheek against Aidan's soft cotton shirt. The comfort of her brother's arms made a wealth of emotions loom too close to the surface. She swallowed hard to push them back.

“We'll talk about the farm tomorrow,” he said. “I guess you're right. We'll have to put it up for sale and find Mama somewhere to live.”