Sebastian kills the engine and turns to face Priscilla and
me
.
"
We
'
re gonna get our own room. Cool?
"
I look over at Priscilla and when she shrugs
,
I tell him it
'
s
all right
. A few minutes later
,
we
'
re in our room while the others are next door. It
'
s one of those rooms with a connecting door and our room has two beds. If this had been a movie
,
they would have been full so we would have had to share a bed. Why doesn
'
t stuff like that happen in real life?
Priscilla goes into the bathroom to take a bath
,
so I start screwing around with the DVD player. It
'
s easy for me to get it apart and
mess
around with all the bits and pieces inside. It
'
s close to an hour later
,
when she finally comes out smelling all clean with wrinkly fingers. I have the urge to kiss them
,
which is really strange. I
'
ve never wanted to kiss a girl
'
s fingers in my life.
"
Feel better?
"
I ask.
She
comes to
stand behind the chair I
'
m sitting in.
"
Yeah.
How about you?
"
I nod my head while I move around some of the little pieces to find what I
'
m looking for.
"
You tore the whole thing apart
,
Jay.
"
"
I know.
"
I look up at her and wink.
"
Trust me. I can get it back together again.
"
"
I know you can.
"
Her words do something funny to my chest. Make it sort of tight or something
,
which makes me feel like an idiot so I ignore it.
"
Do you want to take a shower?
"
Unable to hold it back
,
I grin at her.
"
Are you offering?
"
She rolls her eyes
,
but I swear there
'
s a smile hiding in them.
"
Perv
.
"
Now I
'
m the one smiling because there
'
s definitely some kind of happy in her voice. I know it doesn
'
t mean anything because even if she wasn
'
t over me
,
I
'
m not sticking around
,
but I can
'
t help
reveling
in the way it feels. I want to hold onto the good because it usually only happens with the three people on this trip with me.
"
You like it. Don
'
t pretend you don
'
t.
"
I dodge her fist and jump out of the chair.
"
You
'
re such a boy.
Stupido
.”
She adds and I
'
m laughing.
Just to keep giving her shit
,
I wink at her
,
before I grab my bag and head into the bathroom. I take a quick shower
,
brush my teeth
,
and then I
'
m back in the room a few minutes later. I
'
m really wanting to take my shirt off because it
'
s sort of hot and I don
'
t usually sleep in one
,
but I
'
m not sure if I should.
"
I
'
m going to call my parents to check in. Did you call your mom?
"
She doesn't look
me in the eyes as she speaks which is a total dent to my pride. Does she feel sorry for me? Is she thinking about what I said to her last night? That
'
s exactly what I want to avoid
,
why I don
'
t want to talk about the fact my whole life the man that lived with me called me a piece of shit and my mom didn
'
t do anything about it.
"
I
'
m cool. I
'
m gonna go grab us a drink and some ice.
"
This time
,
it
'
s me avoiding eye contact with her as I head over the connecting door and bang on it.
Sebastian jerks the door open.
"
What the hell
,
Jay. You
'
re killing the mood over here. I was trying to romance my girl.
"
"
Don
'
t listen to him
,
Jaden!
"
Aspen calls to me.
"
I
'
m reading and he was passed out!
"
"
Whatever.
"
Bastian scratches his head.
"
Was just getting a little rest before the action
started.
"
I laugh at him.
"
Come on
,
Romeo
,"
I toss his word back from earlier.
"
Come get a soda and some ice with me.
"
"
Aww
,
the next thing we know they
'
ll be going to the bathroom together
,
too!
"
Priscilla yells.
Aspen starts cracking up
.
"
You guys are such good girlfriends!
"
"
Thanks
,
man. You just turned us into girl
s
.
"
Despite his words
,
Sebastian is pulling a shirt over his head and then following me.
"
Ma wants you to call her
,"
Sebastian
says
as we start down the hall.
"
She said she tried your cell
,
but it
'
s turned off.
"
I forgot I
'
d done that. I pull it out of my pocket. There
'
s a missed call from Courtney
,
but no one else.
"
I will.
"
"
She said to tell you to keep that shit on. She wants to be able to be in touch with you.
"
"
Did she call it shit?
"
"
Ha
ha
.
"
We get to the soda machine and I buy myself a Cherry Pepsi and
water
for Priscilla.
"
You want anything?
"
"
I got it.
"
I don
'
t know why
,
but his words bug me.
"
I can buy you guys a soda
,
asshole.
"
"
Dude
,
I totally just missed something. I never said you couldn
'
t
,
but I also think I
'
m pretty capable of putting a dollar in the machine
,
too.
"
So I might have overreacted.
Whatever.
"
I really wish you
'
d quite being all ‘I am island
'
and talk to one of us about whatever the hell you
'
ve got going on
,
Jay.
Seriously.
"
Sebastian leans against the wall
,
opens his soda
,
and takes a drink.
His words not only shock me
,
but I
'
m sort of grateful for them at the same time. I
'
m not sure which emotion to focus on.
"
Love has turned you into a sap. Since when do you want to talk about what
'
s in your heart or whatever?
"
"
Since I started to grow up.
You should consider it sometime.
Makes things a whole lot easier
,
Jay.
"
The last person I need a lecture on growing up from is Sebastian.
"
Are we living on the same planet? You never take anything seriously.
"
He takes another drink before replying.
"
I take Aspen seriously.
My mom.
Pris.
And your dumb ass.
Seriously
,
man.
We
'
ve had fun the past few days. Are you really going to bail? It
'
s supposed to be the four of us. Don
'
t pretend you
'
re not having a good time with Pris.
"
"
You
'
re the one who says I need to grow up. Maybe this is how I
'
m doing it. You
'
re not supposed to be with your best friends forever. That
'
s not the way the real world works
,
Sebastian. Life might be easy for you
,
but it
'
s not for the rest of us.
"
But I want it to be. I want to stay with you guys. I want to be someone.
"
You
'
re nothing but a waste of space.
A loser.
One of these days everyone is going to wake up and see that
,
you piece of shit.
"
Is it so wrong to want to walk away before they do it? Before Priscilla
'
s parents decide they don
'
t want me around their daughter for more than just a stupid graduation party?
Sebastian shakes his head.
"
You
'
re right
,
man. I couldn
'
t possibly know what it
'
s like to have a hard time. There
'
s no way I could actually be there for you or some shit. You might as well keep it all locked in. It
'
s better that way.
"
My body is tense. Anger sweeps through me.
But it
'
s also twined with the stupid feeling to open my mouth and talk to him. To tell him I don
'
t feel right. Don
'
t feel as good as them and that I can
'
t shut up Mike
'
s voice in my head.
That I can
'
t stop wondering if my real dad
threw me away too.
That I don
'
t want them to do the same.
"
Shit
,"
Sebastian pushes his hair out of his eyes.
"
I feel like a freaking girl here. We
'
re fighting like crazy. It
'
s just
...
"
He
shrugs.
"
Never mind.
Come on. Let
'
s go back to the rooms. I want my girl and I
'
m pretty sure she
'
s missing me. I
'
m sure you want to get back to Pris
,
too.
"
Sebastian winks.