Authors: Joel Cobbs
I
t
w
a
s
s
l
o
w
s
t
a
r
t
i
n
g
a
t
f
i
r
s
t
.
I
did
n
't
k
n
o
w
w
h
at
t
o
w
r
i
t
e
a
b
o
ut
.
I
w
a
s
go
i
n
g
th
r
o
u
g
h
so
m
u
ch
so
f
a
s
t
.
M
a
y
b
e
a
li
t
t
le s
o
m
eth
i
n
g
a
bou
t
th
a
t
.
M
a
yb
e
I
s
hou
ld
f
i
n
a
lly
w
r
i
t
e
d
o
wn
w
h
at
it
w
as
I
f
e
l
t
,
ge
t
t
i
n
g
i
t
a
ll
ou
t
i
n
th
e
open
.
Y
e
a
h
,
t
h
at
w
as
a
g
oo
d
id
e
a.
I
h
ad
my
f
l
as
h
d
r
i
v
e
he
r
e
,
so
n
o
o
n
e
c
ou
ld
j
u
st
c
he
ck
ou
t
my
c
o
m
put
e
r
a
n
d
s
e
e
w
h
at
I
'd
bee
n
w
r
i
t
i
ng
.
I
p
l
ug
g
e
d
my
d
r
i
v
e
i
n
,
g
i
v
i
n
g
it
a m
o
m
e
n
t
.
I
w
a
s
t
a
k
i
n
g
my
t
im
e
.
I
h
ad
n
o
i
d
e
a
w
h
at
it
w
as
I
w
a
s
go
i
n
g
t
o
w
r
i
t
e
.
D
id
I
eve
n
wa
n
t
t
o
w
r
i
t
e
a
n
y
o
f
th
i
s?
Y
e
s.
S
o
m
e
w
he
re
d
ee
p
i
ns
ide
o
f
m
e
,
t
h
at
w
a
s
th
e
a
n
sw
e
r
.
I
opene
d
a
d
o
c
u
m
en
t
.
T
h
e
r
e
I
s
a
t
.
I
did
n
't
kno
w
w
h
at
t
o
w
r
i
t
e
fi
r
s
t
.
Ho
w
I
f
e
lt
o
r
w
h
at
a
l
l
w
a
s
go
i
n
g
on
?
S
hou
ld
I
g
i
v
e
b
a
c
k
g
r
oun
d
i
n
fo
so
I
c
an
r
e
m
e
m
b
e
r
w
h
y
th
i
s
w
a
s
w
r
i
tte
n
in
th
e
fi
r
st
p
l
ace
o
r
j
u
st
j
u
mp
i
nt
o
it
w
i
t
h
ev
e
r
yth
i
n
g
I
h
ad?
I
k
n
e
w
I
h
ad
t
o
w
r
i
t
e
s
o
m
e
th
i
ng
,
I
j
u
st
did
n
't
kno
w
w
h
a
t
.
I
d
e
cid
e
d
t
o
st
a
r
t
s
im
p
le
a
n
d
w
o
r
k
f
r
o
m
the
r
e
.
April
2
2
n
d
, 2008
Life
up
until
now
has
been
hard.
Mom
died
a while
back,
don't
remember
all
the
specifics,
but then
again
it's
been
awhile.
I'm
trying
really hard
to
hold
myself
together
but
I
must
be
honest and
say
I'm
failing.
No,
beyond
failing.
I
find
it
hard
to
go
on
in
life,
struggling from
day
to
day
just
trying
to
do
thing
most
people can
do
in
their
sleep.
My
mind
is
so
scattered,
so I
don't
know.
I
don't
know
what
to
think
of
her death.
I
don't
know
what
to
do,
to
be
honest. Life
just
feels
like
it
is
going
on
without
me.
My
heart
burns.
Not
hurt,
but
burns.
I
can feel
things
leaving
me
without
my
realizing
it. But
how
can
it
be
doing
that?
How
can
so
much
hurt hurt
the
way
it
does?
I've
tried
getting
rid
of
the
pain,
but nothing
is
helping.
Well,
what
I've
tried
doesn't work.
The
more
I
do,
the
harder
I
try,
the
more everything
hurts.
Why
doesn't
anything
help
me? What
is
so
wrong
with
me?
I
don't
know.
I
just don't
know.
I
just
don't
wanna
hurt
anymore.
I just
want
her
to
go.
I
need
to.
I
will.
Yes
yes, I
will.