02 Blood Roses - Blackthorn (31 page)

It should have been the easiest decision in the world but as she stared back at the beautiful, green-eyed vampire, her heart ached. But Caleb had been right – this couldn’t be personal.

Whether she killed him with her last drop of blood or, if she was wrong about her feelings, fought him at the Brink, one way or another her life was ending that night on that rose-covered bed under the night sky of Blackthorn.

Her sisters would have to defend themselves, but she could stop thousands more suffering. Stop everything her grandfather and her predecessors had fought to protect against being actualised through her.

She had to do this. She had to be the serryn she’d always fought being. She had to seduce her executioner there and then before he had any more time to act.

Her death was inevitable. But she
wasn’t going alone.

❄ ❄ ❄

From the sofa, Alisha watched Jake as he stared out of the window of the apartment.

He hadn’t settled since they’d got back up there. His playful nonchalance was nowhere to be seen. He’d paced in the silence, his eyes laden with worry.

Her throat constricted. ‘When is he going to do it?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Please,’ she said. ‘I don’t care how many times I have to keep begging. Please. Let me be with her.’

‘He won’t let you.’

‘I deserve to be with her. I am not going to let her be alone.’

Jake rested his arm on the window frame and his forehead against the back of his hand.

She didn’t like the look in his eyes any more than she liked his sorrowful composure. ‘Jake, please,’ she said, finally being able to build up the strength to stand. ‘Let me at least talk to him. Someone needs to make him see sense. He has to see he cannot do this.’

‘He has no choice.’

‘Of course he has a choice. And I am not going to keep sitting here doing nothing as he does goodness knows what to her.’

‘And what else is he supposed to do, Alisha? How can he turn his back on this?’

‘There will be other ways. Fair ways. Right ways.’

‘There is no fair and right when it comes to our kind. They’re not all like you, Alisha. They don’t see with your eyes. I’m sorry, okay? I wish there was another way. This isn’t easy for him, Alisha.’ He looked across at her. ‘Don’t for one minute think it is. It may be quiet, it may be low-key, but there is an epic battle going on inside him. There may not be swords and flames and fights, but it’s tearing him apart.’

Her heart throbbed. ‘You make it sound like he doesn’t want to do this.’ She stepped closer. ‘Jake, we need to go and talk to him. If he’s hesitating just a little—’

‘I’ve tried, okay?’

‘Then try again.’ She caught hold of his arm. ‘Jake,’ she said firmly.

He turned to face her. ‘This has to be his decision.’

‘Then at least let me talk to Leila.’

‘And do you think it’ll make it easier for her seeing how upset you are?’

‘If you care anything for me, if you have even an ounce of gratitude for what my sister has done for you, you will not let her face this on her own. You owe me. You owe us both.’

He held her gaze for a moment. But then he stepped past her. ‘I can’t.’

She spun to face him. ‘Then do it for Caleb. Do you seriously think she’ll go down without a fight?’

‘There’s nothing she can do.’

‘Have you learned nothing? Are you really as arrogant as your brother? You have left him alone, wherever he is, with a serryn who is fighting for her life, let alone the life of her sisters. Trust me,’ she said, stepping back up to him. ‘You haven’t seen anything of what my sister is capable of until you corner her.’

Jake’s troubled gaze snapped to hers. ‘Is she planning something? Did she say something to you?’

It was a way in. An off-the-cuff remark in irritation had finally captured Jake’s attention.

Alisha folded her arms. ‘I did warn you, Jake. That first night I warned you that the longer you keep her here the more trouble there will be.’

‘No, Alisha,’ he said firmly. ‘No games. What’s she up to?’

‘Take me to her.’

‘Tell me what you meant.’

‘Take me to her, or you’ll regret it.’

Jake raked her swiftly with his gaze before turning his back on her again. ‘No. I’m not going to fall for this.’

‘You’re a fool to let this go ahead, Jake.’

He braced his arms on the window frame again and stared out, the agitation clear in his face, his stance.

‘Please,’ Alisha said. She ducked under his arm to slip between him and the window.

Jake pulled away instantly but she caught him by the upper arm, her fingers digging in deep.

‘We can stop this, Jake. Or at least delay it. If he’s hesitating now after only a couple of days, think of what a few more days will do. Leila might even start to feel something for him, and if she does, none of this will be an issue anyway.’

Jake’s gaze snapped across his shoulder to meet hers. ‘What do you mean by that?’

It had slipped out without her thinking, but it had seemed to be such an obvious thing to say in her desperation. Implausible but possible. The look in his eyes unsettled her – but whatever she had said had also unsettled him.

He turned to face her fully. ‘Alisha? What did you mean?’

‘I mean if she’s not a serryn anymore, he won’t have to kill her.’

Jake’s eyes narrowed. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘You don’t know, do you?’

‘Know what?’

‘It’s the ultimate serryn taboo. Falling for a vampire. It means she’ll lose it.’

‘She told you this?’

‘No – Sophie did.’

His eyes flared in confusion. ‘Sophie?’

‘I know you know what Sophie’s involved in.’

‘You’d better tell me that’s nothing to do with you.’

‘Of course not. I tried to talk her out of it, but she was obsessed. She blames all your kind for what happened to Mum. She hates the authorities just as much – convinced they covered it up. She never used to talk to Leila about it but she used to talk to me. Leila would clam up – at least now I know why. But Sophie didn’t come here just hunting vampires. What she was really looking for was a serryn. And she guessed the best place to find one was the heart of Blackthorn.’

‘What did she want a serryn for?’

‘What do you think? She resolved that if she could get one on side, she’d win this war against you. Of course, she never knew about Leila. And Leila never knew what she was up to.’

‘You’re still not explaining what you meant.’

‘In the end there was nothing Sophie didn’t know about serryns. She uncovered all sorts. And she used to tell me things. It’s one of their biggest secrets apparently. I don’t know how she found out, but she did. Committing suicide or committing the sacrilege of falling for their enemy, the punishment is the same – a serryn loses her serrynity and it jumps to the next in line.’

Jake took a step back and raked her warily. ‘You’re lying. Even suggesting the possibility would put you and Sophie in the firing line.’

‘Sophie’s not here. She might not even be alive. As for me, what do I care anymore? I’m not saying she’s fallen for him, Jake; I’m saying there’s the possibility that she
can
. It’s only been a couple of days, but—’

‘But what?’ Jake asked.

Alisha stared back up at him.

‘Alisha?’

‘In the club,’ she said, the recollections seeping back. ‘She told me to drink your blood.’

‘So?’

‘You can’t be a serryn with sullied blood. It doesn’t make you lose it but it stops it passing to you. I remember Sophie talking about that, too. Families used to do it decades ago – sully the blood of the sisters of a serryn to protect them. It can’t be done now, of course – not with all the blood tests, all the stringencies to stop feeders crossing borders. She must have been desperate to tell me to do it. Either she’s planning to end her life or…’ Her gaze snapped back to Jake. She frowned. ‘Jake, if she’s got even an inkling, why the hell hasn’t she told him?’

‘I know why,’ he said, his eyes flaring in panic as he pushed past her on the way to the door.

‘Jake!’ She rushed after him, but he had already slammed the door. ‘Jake!’ she said again, slamming her fist against the wood.

And kicked the door for good measure.

Chapter Twenty-nine

L
eila pulled back on his hand as she reached the bottom step.

‘At least do one thing for me,’ she said, no longer able to bite back the treacherous words. ‘Be with me once more.’

Caleb turned to face her, his eyes locking on hers.

She tried to steady her breathing and ignore the pounding in her ears. ‘Not as the Tryan or the serryn, just me and you.’

‘And why would you want that?’ he asked, his eyes narrowing slightly.

Her pulse raced, but she still closed the gap between them. ‘You’re not worried you’ll fall at the last hurdle, are you?’

‘It won’t change my mind, Leila.’

‘I know.’

He didn’t touch her as she dared to inch closer, her eyes almost level with his with the help of the step she stood on. She hesitated millimetres away, until her mouth met his.

She treacherously parted his lips – cool, firm lips that responded easily. She momentarily lingered, tasting him before easing her tongue inside to meet his. She reached up to cup his jaw as she dared to caress his teeth, finding his incisor, feeling its lethality against her tongue.

She slowly pulled back a little, her vision hazy for a moment until she retracted enough to be able to look at him.

But she couldn’t afford to let herself think. For once she couldn’t stop to think what she was doing.

And she didn’t want to.

She needed to focus only on it being her last time with him.

She closed the gap again, her hand sliding up his arm to his shoulder.

Caleb took her hands in his, interlacing their fingers as he held them up either side of her shoulders.

She winced as he bent them back slightly, enough to make her catch her breath but not enough to cause her any serious pain.

‘You’re playing a dangerous game,’ he said against her lips. ‘An out-of-character dangerous game. Why would you even contemplate giving yourself to me right now?’

‘I don’t want to think about why,’ she said. ‘I don’t want to think at all. And you’re scared of doing the same, aren’t you? You’re scared of letting your guard down. That’s the real reason you’re in a hurry – you’re scared you’ll change your mind. That’s why you walked away in the shower. You’re frightened to be yourself with me. But here I am – unafraid of being myself with you. I’m not out of character. I’m just not scared anymore. I’ve lived most of my life in fear of your kind. I’m not going to live my last moments that way.’

He pushed back a little on her hands, enough to make her catch her breath again as he stared pensively, dangerously deep, into her eyes.

The rain pummelled against the roof, washing down the glass.

‘Is it so unbelievable that I would want to be with you, Caleb? Do you think that little of yourself?’

‘Maybe it’s because I think more of you.’

‘Too much to do this?’ she asked.

He stared at her for so long that she was sure he was going to pull away. Instead he leaned in to kiss her, applying just enough pressure as he parted her lips to make heat rush to her abdomen.

And she kissed him back – not just because she had to, but because she wanted to. Even that last kiss, as deceitful as it was, was better than the coldness that had formed between them. She needed his closeness. She needed the comfort. She needed the distraction.

And as he let go of her hands, she didn’t fight the instinct to run her hands up his shoulders, the back of his neck, through his hair. And she felt confident enough not to panic when his hands slid to her behind, encouraging her tighter against him, hunger sparking in his kiss as he lifted her thighs around him, pulling her around and onto the bed.

He pushed her hair gently back from her shoulder to expose her neck, the coolness of his fingers, the lingering of his touch making her shudder as she gazed up into his eyes, eyes that she could have sworn almost had a glint of sorrow in them.

But, like he’d said, how he felt didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter how either of them felt.

He kissed her tenderly, breaking her heart more, goosebumps swamping her at the sensuality of his kiss.

She knew she couldn’t back down, even as he brushed his thumb over her trembling lips before kissing her softly again, lingeringly, cupping the nape of her neck as he delved in deeper, knowing both their kisses was the worst betrayal of all.

And as he lowered her onto the bed, she kept her legs wrapped around him – around her perfect vampire who ignited feelings beyond logic. But her feelings for Caleb had never been about logic.

She slid her hands to his behind as she pushed her groin against his to entice him further.

Her head buzzed again, like when she’d first arrived in Blackthorn, when she’d sensed, right from the outset, her own doomed fate, just by being there.

Her survival instinct screamed at her to stop, to tell him how she felt in one last-ditch attempt to save them both. To trust him enough that he would owe her for saving his life as well as his brother’s, and save her sisters in return.

Or ring the death knoll for them both. For humankind.

She slid her hands between them and unbuttoned his shirt, sliding it down over his smooth, hard shoulders.

He yanked it off the rest of the way for her, meeting her gaze momentarily.

His lips met hers again, tingles shooting down her spine and fingertips as she gripped his hair tighter at his neck – silky to the touch, just like his cool, flawless skin as she traced her hands down, reaching the small of his back, feeling his muscles rippling beneath her hands as he kissed down her neck, her cleavage.

The hunger in his kisses increased as he started to push himself against her, building a natural rhythm that had become so natural between them.

Sliding her hands to his hips, along the waistband of his trousers, she unfastened the first button, slid his zip down.

He didn’t protest as he kissed back up her neck to her ear, taking her lobe in his mouth, sucking gently as he kept working himself against her.

She eased down his shorts, releasing him and taking his hardness in her hand as he gripped her neck, taking her mouth to his again.

And in that moment, she wanted nothing more than to feel him inside her again. She wanted nothing more than to be that close to him. If it was going to end, she wanted it to end with him. And she needed to show him how she felt, even if she couldn’t tell him.

She guided his erection toward her sex, tilting herself up to meet him as she tightened her grip around his hips, slid her thighs higher so that she held his waist.

And she slid her mouth to his, kissing him more deeply, more honestly than she had ever dared. And she would keep that kiss as he pushed inside her, her hands on his neck, her thumbs beneath his jaw.

But he pulled his mouth away.

He lifted his head, gazed into her eyes, froze her in the moment, then, with a flash of his incisors, bit deep and hard into her neck.

❄ ❄ ❄

Jake burst into the penthouse, furious that Caleb’s phone was switched off. But the balcony doors were open, which meant his brother was definitely around.

‘Caleb!’

He knew exactly what Leila was doing. Caleb would be drinking nothing more than a regular witch, a witch whose soul wasn’t strong enough for Caleb to consume at the Brink.

It was inspired. It was ingenious. She couldn’t kill him one-on-one in combat but she could kill him with a fatal kiss.

And kill herself in the process.

He marched down to his brother’s quarters, across the empty library and through the open bedroom door. He stepped into the en suite, saw the red dress sodden on the floor. He turned on his heels and ran back out into the lounge, through to the terrace.

He looked at the open gate and up at the steps ahead. Panic clenched his chest as every instinct told him that if that was where Caleb had taken her, he might already be too late.

❄ ❄ ❄

Leila flinched as the sudden stinging pain stunned her, numbing every other feeling in her body. Instinctively she slammed her hands to his chest, trying to forge some distance, until, knowing it was futile, she clenched her hands until her knuckles were pale. She clutched his arms as he slowly drew her blood, the ache in her neck, the throb of her heart, the pins and needles in her fingers, her toes, overwhelming every other sensation.

This was not supposed to happen. He’d moved too fast, too quick. Leila swallowed hard, her throat dry with pain. She fought back the tears as she braced herself, scrunched her eyes closed.

There was no way she could fight him off. Nothing would make him stop unless she confessed.

But confess and it was all over anyway.

She gritted her teeth as he drew harder and faster, pinning her hip to the bed.

Leila stared up at the bleak Blackthorn sky, trying to distance herself from the vampire who fed mercilessly on her. Trying to distance herself from the feelings tearing at her insides.

But she would not relent. She would not tell him. She would not let her sisters face his fury when he learned the truth. She would not let one of them die in her place.

And if she was wrong about loving him, she would fight him at the Brink, just as she had always been destined to. She could do no more now. No more than accept her fate.

Caleb fed harder, drawing up her blood with ease, his concentration intense as he drew faster.

She breathed heavily. The sickening feeling of her blood being drawn, the physical ache in her heart, the pain in her veins – a pain she thought would make her insides collapse – made her head light as she lost contact with her body. Leila trembled, overwhelmed with pleasure and pain until the two were indistinguishable, a tear escaping the corner of her eye.

The passing days rushed through her mind, interwoven with her grandfather’s teachings. The first time she saw Caleb in the lounge. The first time he had held her on the terrace.
“They will deceive you, Leila. Be warned; charm comes easy to them but you must see through the smokescreen.”
The look in Caleb’s eyes when he gazed down at Jake lying sick on the bed.
“They want to rule us and they will do whatever it takes to make that happen.”
Feinith’s cold grey eyes. The hope in Caleb’s eyes when she began the spell to heal his brother. The first time she saw Caleb being touched by Feinith.
“You have an importance you have yet to understand, but it will become clear.”
The first time Caleb had kissed her. The first time he held her gaze long enough for her to detect there was more behind his eyes than what he was willing to show her.
“You are blessed with a gift, Leila, but also a curse. Know it, accept it – and when you have to, use it.”
His firm but tender touch when he made love to her.
“If they succeed, the world as we know it shall end.”

Amidst every thought of confusion and doubt, as she hovered near her last breath, it was those recollections that would help her. The moments they had shared. The moments of real intimacy when she’d felt complete for the first time ever.

When, for once, she hadn’t felt afraid.

Those were the moments she would take with her.

Along with the agonisingly painful secret Caleb would never know.

She was supposed to kill vampires, not save them. Those were the rules. That was the lore.

Leila fought back her tears as Caleb drew on her harder and faster, dragging her closer and closer to the edge.

Her basic survival instincts pleaded with her to give him one last chance to redeem himself. One last chance to appeal to whatever was left of his humanity. One last chance to prove he could care for her enough.

She parted her lips but the words wouldn’t come out.

Love him though she may, she
would
never,
could
never trust him.

Instead she reached for his hand, interlaced her fingers with his and squeezed for all she was worth.

❄ ❄ ❄

Caleb could feel her weakening beneath him. He felt her resistance, but she wouldn’t fight. Like a helpless mammal pinned to the floor by its predator, she almost seemed resolute.

Either she had given up hope or she was so confident she could fight him at the Brink, she wanted to get there. Because there they would be equal. At the Brink there would be no question of physical strength or prowess; it would only be the strength of her soul versus his shadow. One would consume the other. Only one would survive. And she must have thought she stood a chance or she would have been fighting him.

He drank harder. He had to. Even amidst the all-consuming taste of her, he could feel something else in him rejecting it – rejecting taking her. Something instinctive was pulling him back and he had a suspicion of what it was. But he couldn’t afford to feel that way. He would not let himself feel that way.

In less than two days she was turning him into something he didn’t recognise. He was a survivor, always had been, and she was stripping him of it. She had buried deep, seeping her poison into his system, making him see the things she wanted him to see. But not anymore.

He drank harder and faster.

He needed to end it. He needed to end his developing feelings for her. The way she made him feel. He needed to end it there.

He felt the sheen of perspiration in her palm as she grabbed his hand, as she squeezed her fingers between his.

She was fading and she was fading fast.

❄ ❄ ❄

Pain was rife in his chest as Jake bounded up the protruding steps, the rain chilling his face, dampening his shirt.

He’d lost one brother to a serryn – he wouldn’t lose another. He couldn’t lose another.

It would be all his fault. All of it.

He stumbled up the next set of steps as he took the sharp left up onto the roof. He missed the top step, his knees cracking against concrete, but he was back on his feet a split second later.

He scanned the roof just in case, but he knew where they were.

He lunged at the door, slammed his hand against the glass door in a hope that it would startle his brother into stopping whilst he keyed in the code.