03 Solar Flare - Spark Series (8 page)

She closed her eyes. It had taken weeks, but
M’acht had finally admitted he just wasn’t attracted to her in that
way. Apparently he’d been okay with a Kiuyian woman he’d been with
once; a hooker. He told her it wasn’t her fault that he only seemed
to be attracted to women of his own race.

Her heart had burned with agony. Not her
fault? It was obvious to her that she just wasn’t good enough.

He’d been sorry to hurt her. He’d been the
one to suggest counseling, but none of the sessions had helped
them. They’d divorced. He’d gone off planet and she’d slunk back
home. It had been a long time before she could think of trying
again.

The memories still made her feel numb. No,
she couldn’t risk being with another Kiuyian man.

She got up to make herself a drink. She’d
barely taken a sip when there came a knock on the door.

She glowered at it. She wasn’t in the best
mood, and it was probably Gem. She’d want to talk. If Gem saw her
dark expression, she’d definitely want to stay.

The knock came again. Brandy slammed down her
drink and went to answer it. “What?” she growled, then saw it was
Azor. She blinked. “Didn’t you just leave?”

He raised a brow. “Hours ago.” He seemed to
take in her condition with a glance. “You should go out—do
something.”

She kept a hand on the door. “What do you
want?”

“I was wondering about your travel plans.” He
handed her some brochures. She had a sudden flash, a picture of
them on a ship, alone. The picture was so sudden, here and gone, it
nauseated her. She thrust it aside and concentrated on the
moment.

The fact that he’d felt the need to come in
person was unsettling. The fact that Azor was at her door, trying
to convince her to leave town, did not bode well. She was so
unnerved that she wandered away from her door, effectively letting
him enter.

He followed her in as she wandered back to
the couch, her drink forgotten. She let the brochures drop to the
coffee table without looking at them.

He looked down at her with a slight frown and
took the chair opposite the couch. He didn’t say anything.

It was weird. She felt both her customary
annoyance and a surge of self-consciousness at his presence. The
vision sprinted through her mind again, them on a ship. She blinked
slowly, hard. The anxiety escalated. “You want a drink?”

Azor took in her tension, though he couldn’t
know the cause. How could he guess her head was running amok? His
gaze traveled to the small kitchen behind the couch, noted the
glass on the counter and the bottle next to it. “Got any of that
soda you make? I’ll get it myself.”

He got up at her nod and fetched a soda,
bringing her drink to her as he did. He really was being too kind
for her comfort. She’d never experienced this side of him, wondered
if she looked that desperate for distraction. Maybe he thought she
was suicidal or something. If he let her destroy herself, it would
cause paperwork for some poor slob at police headquarters. Blue
would be annoyed with him, too.

That won a small smile. “I’m not planning
anything crazy, you know.”

“I know. You’re not that kind of woman.”

She digested the comment. “You particularly
lonely tonight? I’d have thought you’d have other places to
be.”

“Not at the moment. Care to play Outcast?” It
was a video game he sometimes played with Blue. It had a lot of
guns and violence.

She smiled faintly, but shook her head.
“Maybe you could tell me something I’ve always wondered. What goes
on in those strip clubs you guys are always raiding?”

His expression grew guarded. “Why?”

She shrugged. “Are the men prostitutes?”

He frowned. “Not usually. They’re paid very
well, and women don’t usually solicit prostitutes, at least on
Polaris. There is some drug traffic, though; things like that.”

She nodded. “But other than thumbing one’s
nose at the obscenity laws, they’re not that bad.”

“You’re not thinking of visiting one, are
you?”

“Well, I’d hardly tell you if I were.”

He gave her a warning look.

She felt a little amusement. It was always
fun to bait him. “I want to contact someone who works there. His
name is Azure.”

He looked distinctly unhappy. “Why?”

“I’m trying to save my sanity,” she muttered.
At his sharp look, she said clearly, “Maybe I do need to do
something crazy—just to prove I’m not.”

“That’s not crazy. It’s illegal.”

“Fine, it’s both. Have you heard of the
guy?”

He stared her down.

She cast him a sly look. “You could find out
about him, I’m sure. I don’t trust you to deliver a message,
though, and I want to meet him.”

He set his drink aside and gave her his full
attention. “How do you even know this person?”

“I met him at the track. He called me.”

“Have you told anyone else?”

“No, but I will. I told you, in fact. Look,
there’s probably only one, maybe two places he could even be. I
understand he’s at work right now.”

An indefinable tension filled him. “Then I
guess you’re not leaving my sight.”

This conversation was making her feel better
and better. It always felt good to bait him. “There’ll be other
nights. You could follow me there, be the “backup” you once thought
I should have.”

He leaned forward, very intent. “Being seen
there would ruin you, Brandy. You can’t afford it.”

The reminder brought back all the tension
she’d been feeling before. He was hopeless, a humorless
perfectionist, and she didn’t need him raining on her party. She
needed this distraction.

She stood up and gestured to his drink.
“You’re welcome to take that with you.”

He grasped her wrist as she stalked past him,
heading for her room. His look was all business. “You’re a smart
woman. Your family trusts you to make the right choices.”

Infuriated that he would even obliquely
accuse her of endangering her family, no matter how correct he
might be, she leaned in close and threatened, “Let go or regret
it.” She ignored the tears of rage pooling at the corners of her
eyes. She hoped he felt bad. He deserved it.

He considered her for heavy seconds and
suddenly stood. He towered over her. “I think I know what you want
from that stripper, Red, and you don’t have to go so far from home
to get it.”

She thought he was insulting her. That’s why
she slapped him. It wasn’t enough, didn’t put a dent in her anger
and frustration, because she didn’t seem to really hurt him. That’s
why she kept hitting him.

He took her down to the carpet in a gentle
tumble.

One minute she was the aggressor. The next
she was flat on her back, her hands lightly pinned above her head.
They were on the floor, and he had a leg thrown over her waist,
weighing her down. She froze in surprise.

He looked calmly down at her. “Is this what
you wanted?”

Her mouth went dry. “Get off.”

He studied her. “You don’t seem afraid.”

“I’m not!” Fear was hardly the top emotion.
His weight was doing things to her, scrambling her brains worse
than any drug. He made her breath catch. She was too aware of him.
She began to shake, and it wasn’t with fear. She was also confused.
All this, for him? She might not hate him anymore, but she hadn't
given herself permission to feel like this. She should have better
control.

He considered her mouth. After a very long
pause, he said casually, “While you’re down here, do you have time
for a kiss?”

Her lips parted in surprise. A kiss? Did she
have time? Time was hardly the issue. His question tricked her into
thinking about her answer, though, and the longer they held the
position, the stronger her curiosity grew. She looked at his mouth
and swallowed. “You’re probably a terrible kisser,” she said
hoarsely.

His lips curved in a sensual smile. “Do you
want to find out?”

“Fine,” she said breathlessly. Chills
shivered over her skin as his mouth lowered. Would it be as cold as
she’d always thought him?

The brush of his mouth was hot. It zinged and
tingled, made her catch her breath. His weight settled more readily
over her, made her want—

“Hey, sis! The door was open, so I thought
I’d just—Oh!”

Azor stilled. He raised slightly, his gaze
unreadable. It was the look he wore during a crisis.

Brandy closed her eyes in acute
embarrassment. Her family had the worst timing.

CHAPTER 6

Brandy’s skin burned with the fire of
embarrassment as they rose from the carpet to face Gem and Blue.
Blue actually looked amused. Gem was horrified. “What’s…I mean, you
can’t be serious.”

Azor cleared his throat. “It was my
fault.”

“No, I hit you,” Brandy said apologetically.
“He was defending himself.”

“Interesting technique,” Blue commented.

Gem threw an elbow into his side. Like Azor,
he was from off-world, and considered the mating customs of Polaris
rather stifling, but Gem had been raised here. “Stop! This is
serious.”

Azor opened his mouth and Brandy started
talking fast. If she didn’t do something she’d find herself engaged
to a chilly cop. Her face heated. Well, he was normally chilly. The
goose bumps on her arms now weren’t due to the cold.

“Look, I was upset. You know how I get. I
think Azor thought I was going to do something crazy. He was trying
to sidetrack me.” Nothing like a little distraction to derail her
traditional sister. She hoped to exchange one form of
protectiveness for another.

Gem looked suspicious. “How crazy?” It seemed
she was suspending her wrath until she had more details.

Brandy sucked in her cheeks, stalling. She’d
started this, though. “I was about to go to a strip club.”

Gem looked stricken. “Why? With so much at
stake, why would you do that? Do you want to be infamous?”

She looked so hurt that Brandy felt a little
sorry, but only a little. After all, she was a grown woman. “Maybe
it’s in the blood, sis. Dad was always talking about all the wild
adventures he had before he settled down to be a tavern master.
That’s what we are, you know—just jumped up barkeeper’s
daughters.”

“Don’t talk like that! You know we’ve become
a lot more than that.”

“But we’ve forgotten who we are—or you have.
I feel like a pretender. I feel…just…crushed under all this
propriety! It was easier when we were barely scraping by. We didn’t
have to be so good.”

“Brandy, I don’t want to hurt you, but you
feel crushed because you’ve had to work so hard to rebuild your
reputation. You’ve had to be good. You’ve just stewed in it so
long, it’s probably got you…I don’t know, stressed.”

Brandy looked at the ceiling and laughed.
“Stressed? You think?” She focused on Gem, willing her to
understand. This had been building so long. “Well, I’m sick of it!
I want to breathe again. I need…” She blew out a breath,
frustrated. “I don’t know what I need.”

“I do,” Gem said grimly. “I know what we all
need. You need to go, Brandy. See Xera. Get away from this mess.
Your family can’t take another go of you fighting scandal. I mean,
I can’t. I know you’re strong enough, but I don’t know if I am. I’m
bleeding for you, and that’s not what you need. You need…oh, I
don’t even know.” Gem threw herself down in a chair, an unusual air
of defeat about her.

Blue sent Brandy a warning look as he rested
his hand on Gem’s head. It was the same quelling stare he often
used on his sons. “Remember the babies, love. Let me get you some
of that calming tea.” He glanced casually at Azor. “Azor? Get you
something?” was what he said, but his look said, “you’re staying
awhile.”

“I’m fine, thanks.” Azor reclaimed the seat
he’d abandoned earlier. It was clear from his unruffled manner that
he was there because he felt he should be, not because Blue had
intimidated him.

Gem sighed. “Maybe I should stop getting
pregnant. It really does get in the way of a good rant.”

Since everyone seemed to be calming, Brandy
took a step toward the door. She was ready to flee the scene.

“Don’t even think about it,” Gem warned her.
“It’s past time we talked.”

Brandy wasn’t so sure. “I’m quite talked out
for the day, thanks.”

“Sit,” Azor said quietly. “Please.”

Well, she was a grown up, wasn’t she? Glumly,
Brandy took a seat on the couch. She picked up her drink just to
give herself something to do. She was no longer interested in it,
though. A glass of ice water would probably go farther in curing
her nervous flush. Tension was wearing a hole in her stomach. It
was hard to focus on Gem’s concerns when Azor was sitting right
there. Their aborted kiss was still on her mind.

Blue walked over with Gem’s cup of tea and
set it on the coffee table in front of her, then sat on the couch,
which was nearest to her chair. “Better?”

“Some.” Gem took a sip of her tea and studied
her sister. “I haven’t told you something important, sis.” She
paused, then let out a shaky sigh. “I’m having problems with this
pregnancy. Bleeding here and there.”

Brandy was instantly alert. “Why didn’t you
tell me?”

Gem smiled ironically. “I didn’t want to
worry you. The thing is, you need to know now, because worrying
about you is stressing me out. That’s dangerous right now.”

“I understand,” Brandy said gravely. “I’m
sorry.” The idea of Gem’s babies being in danger was sobering. She
did not want to be responsible for hurting them, even
indirectly.

For all she complained about her family, they
were the dearest thing in her world. She’d give the inn and all she
owned up if that’s what it took to save them. Changing her behavior
was the least she would do to help.

“Yes.” Gem sighed. “You know how I get. I’m
super calm during a crisis, but get twitchy when it passes. I’m
losing my hair. I know it doesn’t look like it, but it’s falling
out in the shower by the handful. My stomach’s all knotted and I
can’t eat. I’m depressed. I want to be strong for you, but I need
to be strong for my children. I can’t seem to do both. I’ve tried.
I’m sorry.”