03 - Sworn (27 page)

And Ulric’s problem was far more concerning than I’d thought when Aren said he was having troubles and that Nox was working on a cure. His problem was nothing like mine. I felt an aversion to my magic, and it was replenishing slowly. One of those was a problem I would have to face on my own, and the other I could work around until Nox had time to help me. His problem sounded like it could lose him his crown forever, or even kill him if he attempted too much.

Though I tried to focus on Ulric’s magic and his problems with me, my mind kept returning to one thing.

When Aren finished speaking, I said, “Just to be sure I have this straight. You can either be king, or be with me. Even if I prove I’m not a traitor, even if I make your father like me once he’s completely sane again, it doesn’t make any difference. It’s the law, and unbreakable.”

“That’s how it looks.”

I swallowed hard and took a deep breath to keep my voice steady. “So our temporary separation really isn’t, is it? Assuming there’s no miraculous cure for Ulric, you have to take his place. And that means there’s no room for me, no matter whether I overcome my own problems or not.”

He didn’t look at me. “You could stay in Luid if I were king. I can’t imagine my life without you. I’d keep you on as advisor if you were willing, or you’d be free to do as you please and leave, if you wanted. But we couldn’t... Well.”

I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes.
We said we’d figure it out. That we’d be together. That—

I forced those thoughts away. Things had changed.

He went to a tiny, dusty window and stared out, lost in his thoughts. “I would turn my back on anything for you, were it my choice,” he said, so quietly I barely heard him. “I don’t want to rule. I don’t understand why anyone would want it. But the fact is that if Ulric doesn’t recover, it’s going to be me or Severn. If Severn keeps the throne he’ll go to war with Darmid, and he’ll turn on Belleisle if he can manage it. He won’t stop until all of the human power on the continent is his to control. You and I will never be safe. Nor will the merfolk, if he ever finds out they helped us. He claims lofty ideals, says he only wants to preserve magic, but it’s about power. It always has been. That’s why he got rid of Ulric instead of trying to help him.”

“So you don’t have much choice, do you?”

The resignation written on his face when he glanced back at me nearly broke my heart. “No. But I keep telling myself this could all work out. My father’s magic might recover. He might announce that he’s alive and well, and the people will welcome him back and support him. Severn will see the error of his ways, beg for forgiveness, hand power back. Or fall when Ulric challenges him.”

“And you’d still be next in line, which I suspect would put a damper on things for us. Your responsibilities would just be delayed.” I swallowed back the lump that filled my throat. No fairy tale had ever prepared me for this part of a relationship with a prince.

He looked out the window again. “My father’s not too old to have more children. There are other Sorcerers out there. Not as strong as me, and even less prepared for the job. But there’s a chance someone could…” His words trailed off, and he leaned his forehead against the window frame.

I stood behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I only meant it to be a supportive gesture, but couldn’t help noticing the way his shirt hugged his lean muscles. I closed my eyes and pressed my face against his back, and ran my hands over his stomach and chest. His body tensed.

“Rowan,” he whispered, voice thick and heavy, as he turned toward me. “I know what I have to do, but I can’t end this. I can’t—”

“Shh. Not yet.”

I pushed him against the wall and kissed him. My hands roamed over his body, taking in each familiar curve and hollow and burning bright new memories into my mind.

He brushed a tear from my face. I hadn’t realized I was crying.

I would never be ready to give him up, but it didn’t seem we had any choice. Still, we were together for the moment, and no one could take that from us. I took his hand and led him toward my bed.

We didn’t speak. There was no place now for words, only for warm bodies pressed together against the chill in the air, for the swirl of intertwined magics, dark and bright. For a while there was no worry, no future. There was only Aren, the perfect way we fit together, and pleasure so bright it became unbearable. When the world came back into focus, my tears had dried.

Aren kissed my eyelids and held me close. “I’m not going to lose you. We’re going to find a way.”

I didn’t answer, only held him tighter while I had the chance. I wasn’t going to have him sacrifice his future and his people if that was what it took for us to be together. I would find my own way. And maybe some day...

The barn door below creaked. We both jumped up, scrambling to get our clothes back on. Aren didn’t realize his shirt was inside out until he started fumbling with the buttons. He gave up and left it open. I didn’t like the way he stood absolutely still, as though waiting for a fight.

Waiting for the traitor’s return.

Patience dragged herself up to the loft and looked around, taking in the blankets on the floor and our disheveled appearances. “I found them,” she said casually, and dropped her bag. She sat and removed her boots. “It’s so wet out there.”

“What’s going on?” Aren asked. His eyes tracked her every movement, but still he didn’t move.

“Hang on.” She worked a paper package out of her coat pocket and tossed it to me. Inside was a wedge of cheese, a bit of cold roast, and a wrinkled apple.

“Thanks,” I said. I offered some to Aren, but he refused.

“You found the refugees?” he asked.

“Yeah.” She leaned back against the wall. “I didn’t want to seem too interested in them, but I think things are going really well here. The people who came from Darmid are staying at the inn, pretty comfortable.”

Aren frowned. “Who’s paying for that?”

“That’s the funny thing. Your brother is.” She smiled, obviously pleased with herself for doing her job well. “Everyone’s on about how generous Lord Severn is, how the soldiers came with supplies and gold and said to make these people comfortable.”

Aren paced the floor, still watching Patience. “He wants something from them, then. He’s watching for magical talent.”

Patience shrugged. “Probably. But it sounds like people here in town were pretty happy with how things were going even before that. It’s strange, right? From what I’d experienced and what Laelana said, I thought everyone in the country was mad at Severn.”

Aren ran his hands through his hair. “It’s never that simple. Overall, yes, I think he’s hurting people. But he’ll make sure he has support where it counts, and the borderlands are going to be important to him soon.”

She tucked her stockinged feet close to her body and took them in her hands, rubbing her thumbs in practiced motions over the scarred soles. “Aren, is Ulric going to be better than Severn?”

He looked down at her. “I hope so. Did he tell you he would be when he spoke to you?”

Patience’s eye widened and her lips moved silently as she struggled to choose her words. “I never...” she squeaked. “I didn’t talk to him.”

Aren’s jaw clenched and he squared his shoulders, then closed his eyes briefly as though searching for strength. When they opened again, I couldn’t read his expression. A chill crept over me, but I couldn’t move.

He stalked toward Patience and crouched in front of her. She looked away. A bird cried outside, but it sounded far off, as though we three occupied an insulated world of our own.

“He told me a lot of things,” she whispered, chin trembling.

Aren’s brow furrowed. “He does that. It’s hard to say no to him, isn’t it?”

She sniffled, and met Aren’s hard gaze. “He said he needed my help, that no one else could do it, that he was worried about... And that if you found out, you’d...” She inched away, making herself small as she moved. “Please don’t hurt me. Please.”

“No.” He reached out to touch her arm, and she pulled back again. He let her go. “I won’t. But I need to know exactly what he said to you, why you’re here.”

He could have broken her so easily then, pushed into her mind and stolen the memories. The Aren I’d met months before would have done it without a second thought. Instead, he waited and watched her. He knew his father as well as anyone, and knew well how the man might have used this child’s pain to win her over.

The chill in his eyes faded.

“I can’t tell you,” Patience whispered. She wiped a tear from her cheek. “I guess it’s all ruined now, anyway. He said if I did good, he’d make sure the people who hurt my family would pay, that once Severn was gone he’d make sure that...” She sobbed and buried her face in her arms.

Aren placed a hand on her shoulder, and this time she let him. “I don’t know what it will be like when Severn is gone. But no matter what else happens, I promise that things will be better for you. The people who hurt you and your family will pay for what they did. Nothing can give your people back to you, but I’ll make sure my brothers don’t get away with this, and that it doesn’t happen to anyone else. And that doesn’t depend on you doing anything for me, or for my father. I can’t fix everything, but I’ll do what I can.” He patted her back, obviously uncomfortable.

She looked up and met my eyes. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, so softly I barely heard. “I just wanted to help.”

“Can you tell me now what Ulric said?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“You could show me what happened, if that’s easier. Just think hard about it, push it right to the top. But I think Rowan would like to hear, as well.” He glanced back at me.

“I would,” I said softly.

Patience took a few heavy breaths.

“He said he was worried about you.” Her eyes searched mine, then returned to Aren. “Both of you. He thought Rowan was going to leave us when she found her family, and he worried that neither of you would come back if that happened. He said he needed someone reliable, someone with a strong mind who could keep secrets even from you, and he needed that someone to—” She hesitated.

“To what?” Aren asked.

Patience wrinkled her nose. “It sounds silly now. He said he needed this person to make sure you didn’t lead Rowan astray in your desire to keep her around. He said he knew of my family, and how we kept ourselves separate from others and hidden. Thought he saw strength in me, and said I’d been overlooked for too long. It felt really good.” She chewed her bottom lip and sighed. “I was just supposed to follow you, join you if it seemed safe, and never let on why I had come. And if you decided not to come back at all, I was supposed to get myself back, find them somehow, and make a report. He didn’t want me to hurt you or anything.”

“So you lied to us?” I asked. Not with anger, but the idea she’d betray a friend so easily didn’t sit well with me.

A flush crept into her cheeks, and she looked down to study the scuffed toes of her too-large boots. “He said horrible things about Aren, and it made me frightened for you.” She looked back to Aren. “He said if you figured out I was spying, you’d break my mind, take away my memories, and make me think I was living in a nightmare for the rest of my life. I’d heard people talking about you, saying something about that, so I believed him. And I thought that if you would do something like that to me, Rowan must be in danger, too. That she had to be crazy to love you.” A few tears leaked out and slipped down her cheeks, and she wiped her nose on her sleeve. “I know it was stupid, but he made it sound so important. Like I might save the whole world just by going on a little adventure.”

“Thank you,” Aren said. “I think I understand. He’s lived a long time, known many people, and figured out how to get them to do what he wants. What you did isn’t acceptable. But you know better now.” He sat cross-legged on the floor in front of her.

I relaxed. We were going to be fine.

“So you’re not going to break me?” she asked.

Aren smiled sadly. “No. Perhaps I should make you think you’re a chicken for a few minutes, just to teach you a lesson? If it would make you feel better.”

She smiled back, suddenly shy. “No, thank you.”

“We’re friends,” he said. “At least, I hope we can be now. And I wouldn’t hurt you.”

She swallowed hard and nodded. “I’m glad we are. I didn’t like keeping secrets. I thought this would all be exciting, but it was horrible.”

How well I knew that feeling.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Aren said. “I’m not pleased that you lied to us, but you are turning out to be rather useful. Now, tell me more about the Darmish folk you found.”

I moved closer, no longer feeling I was interrupting something important. As Patience spoke, Aren reached for my hand. I squeezed his fingers tight.

The hell of it was that he was going to be a fantastic king.

18

AREN

R
owan pulled her hood up over her hair and peered out from the alleyway, squinting against the afternoon sunlight. “I don’t see her.”

Patience had gone to the inn to see if there were any soldiers about, and had been away longer than we’d expected. “She probably got talking to someone,” I said. “You know how friendly she is.”

“I know.” She stretched up on her toes and leaned farther out.

“Feeling a little impatient?”

She flashed a sheepish grin. “A little. Aren, my family might be in there. I’ve been so worried. I still am. What if some of them made it out, but not others? What if they’re hurt?”

“Patience said the townspeople are taking good care of them, right?”

She took a deep breath. “Right. Do I look okay?”

“You look beautiful. Better than the last time they saw you.”

It was true. Even in dirty clothes and a ragged coat, with a smudge of dirt streaking one cheek, she was fascinating. I wondered if noticing such things so regularly made me a shallow person, and decided I didn’t care. I loved her for her courage, her curiosity, her compassion. I couldn’t help it if her wild red hair and the freckles on her nose captivated me, as well.