Authors: Amy Ruttan
But
she was here now and this was where she was going to stay.
She wouldn’t leave her mother again.
Maybe you need someone else to help you?
It hit her like a ton of bricks. She was looking at the nerves, looking at the organs for a sign of a tumor or some anomaly. She’d looked at the blood and the spinal fluid for something microscopic there, but what if it went deeper into the tissue? Something she couldn’t see because it was so small, so hidden that she wasn’t even looking for it?
She rushed to her office and pulled up the latest scans from Gary, staring at them like she’d done so many times the past few days. Only this time she saw the faint shadow she’d been missing on the lower left lobe of Gary’s lung, hidden behind the liver. The shadow was so faint that his body probably hadn’t even started producing enough white blood cells to be noticeable.
And if she was a betting woman she would put all her money on the fact that Gary had a teratoma and was suffering from Lambert-Eaton Myasenthic Syndrome or LEMS. She’d only seen it once before. She hadn’t even put it in the realms of thought when she was trying to find what was causing his issues, but now it all made sense. Why he couldn’t get oxygen when he sang. Why the pulse oximeter kept dropping. But to prove her theory she needed to get Gary a lung biopsy.
Vivian headed out to the charge nurse. “I need your help, Swain.”
Nurse Swain looked up from his scheduling. “What do you need, Dr. Maguire?”
“Who is the best cardiothoracic surgeon here? One that can do a bronchoscopy on a VIP patient ASAP.”
“Dr. Spader. I can page him to your patient’s room. Who is the patient?”
“Gary Trainer.”
Nurse Swain looked surprised. “I thought he was a neuro patient?”
“He is and he still will be if my theory is proven correct.”
“Okay, Dr. Maguire. I’ll get him down to Mr. Trainer’s room.”
“Tell him I’ll be there waiting for him.”
Vivian sent the CT scans to her tablet and then hurried off to meet Dr. Spader outside Gary’s room.
“How can I help you, Dr. Maguire?”
“I hear you’re one of the best with a bronchoscopy and biopsy of the lungs.”
He smiled. “So they tell me.”
Vivian brought up the CT scan, zooming in on the area in question. “My patient is suffering from a myriad of strange symptoms. Tests for white blood cells come back a bit above the normal range, but since he’s had some fevers that’s not uncommon. Spinal taps have come back clear, yet he’s had symptoms of seizures, delusion, muscle weakness and rigidity. I suspect LEMS. If we don’t do something fast, my patient could slip into a coma and die.”
Dr. Spader cocked an eyebrow. “And you think the teratoma is on left lower lobe of the lung?”
“I do.”
He studied the CT scan. “It’s faint, but there is something there. Whatever it is, it’s small and just starting out.”
“LEMS symptoms are discovered well before a cancer is, Dr. Spader.”
“All right, I’ll get my team to prep him for a bronchoscopy first thing in the morning.”
“Thank you, Dr. Spader.”
“No problem, Dr. Maguire. I hope you’re correct. I know you’ve been struggling with this.”
Vivian kept her cool. She knew that rumors were circulating around the hospital about her, she knew that it was jeopardizing the job she was vying for, but right now she didn’t care. She just wanted to get Gary better again and on the right track. “Well, if it is what I suspect it is you can understand why I had a hard time finding the source.”
“Yes, that is very true.”
Vivian thanked Dr. Spader again and headed into Gary’s room.
He looked exhausted, his body was tense and clearly in pain. Andrew Sampson had left and she was glad, because the last thing she needed was rumors about her theory circulating outside of the hospital. It was bad enough the press was camped outside, waiting for any news on Gary’s condition.
“Hey, Doc. I thought you’d gone home for the night.”
“Not yet.” She set the tablet down. “Tomorrow you’re going for a test.”
He sighed. “Another scan?”
“No. You’re getting a lung biopsy.”
Gary looked confused. “Why?”
“I think you have a growth on your lungs that’s causing your neurological symptoms. It’s called LEMS.”
“LEMS?”
“Yes, but I won’t know for sure until we do a biopsy.”
“And if it’s not that?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know, Gary. Unless there’s something you haven’t disclosed. Though, with the battery of tests you’ve been through, there’s not much about you we don’t know except maybe what’s causing your seizures.”
“I’m not hiding anything, Doc. I have to say I’m tired of the tests, but why not?”
“Get some rest. Dr. Spader will be performing the biopsy tomorrow morning.”
“Thanks, Doc.”
Vivian left his room. She knew now she had to get ready to see her father, to find out what he wanted so that maybe she could cut him from her life once and for all so she and her mother could finally move on.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
T
HE
D
EAD
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ND
was just as bad as it sounded. If not worse. Vivian was wishing she’d allowed Reece to come with her because the moment she stepped into the dive on the wrong side of the tracks she regretted the fact that she was alone.
She kept close to the bar and tried not to draw attention to herself. It didn’t take her long to find her father. He was on stage singing one of Ray Castille’s songs. Still, after all this time, chasing something that wasn’t his. Something that he would never have.
It cut her to the quick and brought back so many unwelcome memories. Of all the times when she was young and spending time in dives just like this, clutching her mother’s hand and watching her father through a smoke-filled haze.
As her father finished the chorus, he glanced up and saw her there, giving her that special wink he always used to give her. Vivian looked away, clenching her fists in anger. It took all her strength not to hit him. It made her angry that he thought it could be the same.
As if he didn’t know what he’d done.
What he’d destroyed.
And what she hated the most was that she saw the same in herself when she looked at Reece, knowing that she’d destroyed what they could have had when she’d chosen her career over him.
He could’ve come with you too.
Only Reece hadn’t wanted to leave his safety net. He’d told her that time and time again.
Vivian took a seat at the bar and waited for her father.
It didn’t take him long to fill the empty bar stool next to her.
“I’m glad you came, Vivian,” he said. “I’m glad you’re giving me a chance to explain myself.”
“I’m not here to listen to your explanation,” Vivian said calmly. “I’m here to tell you to keep away from Mom.”
Her father looked shocked. “I’m her husband.”
Vivian snorted. “You abandoned her. I don’t think your claim over her will hold up in a court of law. I’m her power of attorney and a neurosurgeon. A respected physician, not a sleazy lounge lizard.”
“It’s clear you’re angry with me.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I wish you weren’t.”
“What do you expect me to be? Happy that you’re back? I haven’t seen you since I was ten!” Her voice raised and she cleared her throat. “That day you told me you’d be back, but you never came back. You lied to both of us.”
“I’m here now,” Hank said.
“It’s too late.”
“Look, I have to complete another set. Please stick around and then I’ll be done and we can go somewhere else. Get a coffee and I can explain myself.”
“You really don’t have anything I want to hear.”
“Please. Do this for me. You’re wrong about your mother not wanting to see me. You don’t know it all.” With that, her father left and returned to the stage.
Vivian stood up to leave—no way was she going to stick around to listen to her father rewrite history—but something compelled her to sit back down and then she looked up to see Reece walking into the bar. He was wearing his black cowboy hat, blending in with the crowd.
She didn’t know what he was doing here, didn’t want him here, but suddenly she was glad he was.
“Reece,” she said as he took the seat her father had vacated. “What’re you doing here?”
“I think I’m keeping tabs on you.” He nodded in the direction of some of the men, who were now shooting him daggers. “I told you this isn’t a place for a single girl to go by herself.”
“I told you not to come.”
He gave her a half smile. “Aren’t you glad I didn’t listen?”
She grinned. “Very.”
“How’s it going?” he asked.
“Not well.” Vivian sighed. “He wants to explain himself.”
“Does it hurt to hear him out?”
“Yes. It does. He left my mother and me.” Vivian shook her head. “I really don’t know what he could possibly say to me. I know what he wants.”
“Do you?” Reece asked.
“Yes, he wants money. He wants a handout. Maybe I should just give him some money and he’ll leave again.”
“You can’t just buy him off,” Reece said gently. Then he turned to look at the stage. “He’s playing my father’s songs.”
“That’s all he knows. He worshipped your father. He wanted to be like your father, just as famous. He wanted that mansion in Belle Mead. And he was jealous of my mother, who had a shot at a career. So jealous he ruined it for her. That’s why she was so adamant about me putting my career first. She didn’t want me to make the same mistake she did.”
“A mansion in Belle Mead and my father’s life is not something to aspire to,” Reece said quickly and she could see the pain in his eyes as well.
“Thank you for coming. I know...you didn’t have to do this.”
“I know, but I wanted to. Your mother is my patient and I wanted to do what was right for her. I want to protect her too. Even if she’s not in my trial anymore, she’s my patient. I’ll take over her file from whichever neurosurgeon was treating her for Alzheimer’s.”
“Just her general practitioner had seen her. I was planning on finding someone to treat my mother. I thought I had more time.”
She didn’t tell him that she was regretting the years she’d left her mother behind. That she had realized that she really was no better than her father.
The set ended and she braced herself for dealing with her dad.
He made his way over to them, pausing with uncertainty when he saw Reece.
“I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure,” her dad said, sticking out his hand. “I’m Hank Bowen, Vivian’s father.”
“Pleasure,” Reece said, shaking his hand. “I’m Dr. Castle. I’m treating Mrs. Bowen for her Alzheimer’s.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Are you here to tell me to keep away from my wife too?”
“Dad, don’t even start,” Vivian said. “Dr. Castle isn’t here to get involved. He’s here to support me and explain Mom’s condition to you.”
“I know what Alzheimer’s is, Vivian.” Her father’s demeanor had changed so fast, he was sweating and though she didn’t smell the liquor she recognized the signs of him drinking.
And if he had been drinking, she didn’t want to be around him.
“I think I should go,” she said. “You’re clearly not in a state to talk about things.”
“Don’t leave,” her father begged. “You need to listen to me, dammit.”
Only she couldn’t. Tears were beginning to well up in her eyes and she couldn’t hide them from Reece. She’d never cried in front of him before and here she was doing just that, in a seedy bar while her father ranted and raved behind her.
“Please get me out of here,” she whispered, begging him to save her even though she didn’t deserve to be saved by him.
He nodded and put his arm around her, leading her out of the bar.
“Vivian, come back here! I need to explain.”
Vivian tried to block his words from her ears as Reece’s strong arms came around her and he led her out of the bar. When she was outside, she began to tremble and Reece held her even more tightly. His arms felt so good around her.
She’d missed this and she didn’t want to push him away. She needed him. Wanted him. She just wanted him to hold her close all night.
Even if she could only have him for a moment.
“Where’s your car?” he asked.
“I took a taxi.”
“Come on, I’ll take you home.” Reece led her over to his truck and helped her in. He slid into the driver’s seat and started the engine, pulling away from the Dead End and heading back to the other side of Nashville. “Where do you live?”
Vivian rattled off the address and leaned back against the seat, watching the lights of the street lamps flicker by. He didn’t say anything to her and she was appreciative of that. He knew her so well.
She didn’t deserve him.
Reece pulled up in front of her house and walked her to the door. She unlocked the door and invited him inside.
“You okay?” he asked.
“No, I’m not. I haven’t seen him in so long. I thought I’d gotten over the shock of seeing him at the hospital, but then tonight with him playing in that smoky club...it brought back so many painful memories.”
“I understand that. My father wasn’t always a superstar.”
“I guess you do get it.”
“I do.” Reece cleared his throat. “I said once long ago we were the same. When you came back I didn’t believe it anymore, but now...”
She nodded. “We’re the same.”
His eyes were sparkling in the dark and she reached up to touch his face, stroking his cheek. He leaned into her touch and reached up to take her hand, moving it away like he’d done countless times before.
“I’m not sure if you should be doing that,” he said huskily. “If you keep doing that I’m liable to do something I won’t be able to stop.”
Her pulse quickened with anticipation. “What if I don’t want you to stop?”
“Oh, don’t say that unless you mean it,” he whispered against her neck.
She didn’t need to answer him as she took off his cowboy hat and set it on the side table so she could see all of his face, run her hands through his short hair and stare up into those warm brown eyes she adored.
“Stay with me tonight,” she begged. “Just tonight. One more time.”