04 Last (14 page)

“I’m going to solve some of those unanswered mysteries for you,” she promised. “I’m going to keep reading, until I know why your grandfather hid this book. Then, we can put that out of our mind. It’ll be one less question…”

I allowed for the change of subject, knowing Alex would come around to her emotions eventually. I would just have to be there when she wanted to talk. It was all I could do under the circumstances.

“I think he was just a crazy old man, who liked history,” I said. “That question isn’t such a confusing one.”

We had talked about my grandfather a couple of times during our two weeks at sea. It was always the same conclusion – I thought he was crazy, Alex thought he had a purpose. Alex rolled her eyes at my words. She was firmly convinced the book held more than answers; it held meaning. It would explain everything about everything, all at once. She held on to the belief that it meant something, even when her hours of reading had yielded nothing beyond farming reports from the 18
^th
century and daily accounts of merchants. I was convinced the book held nothing more than the ramblings of an old man more interested in his long-dead family history than his flesh-and-blood daughter. It was nothing more than a reminder of the family I had never known and would probably never get to know. His reasons for hiding it weren’t complicated – it was paranoia or some other mental disorder that made people hide books in secret rooms.

The book was proof we were looking for answers in the wrong place. That feeling – that our path for answers was skewed – was one reason I was not as worried about meeting Odette as Daniel seemed to be. I knew she was powerful and tricky – an elder, who had honed her powers simply through staying alive longer than most of our kind. I knew she was smart and had enough funds to keep people like Serenity employed around the world. But those things didn’t worry me as much as the possibility of spending years searching for clues in dusty books. I was banking on the idea that time held answers; she held enough time to have more than her share of answers. Her answers might cost me – they might not even be what I was looking for – but I relished the idea of not feeling consumed by questions. I wanted to understand. I wanted to know. Knowing was the only way to beat Marcus. It felt as if it was the only way to start taking control of my world.

Almost as if she could read my thoughts, Alex asked about the meeting I had promised Serenity. She looked at the bed thoughtfully, her mind a million miles away. Or as far away as Eli currently was. I saw her contemplating the idea of joining Serenity – and Eli – on a trip to see Odette. It would not be easy for her.

“You said Serenity wanted me to go along, too?” Alex asked.

“Yeah,” I agreed.

“I wonder why,” she said.

“Serenity always has a reason,” I said. “But that doesn’t mean she likes to share it.”

“I wonder if Odette pays Serenity to be so mysterious, or if she just likes irritating people by throwing out vague hints and cryptic doomsday-type warnings?” Alex asked.

“She definitely gets a kick out of irritating the rest of us,” I said.

Alex nodded in agreement then she sighed as some of her emotions came back in to the room. She was back to thinking over the change. As she did, she realized a truth that had previously escaped her. She looked down at her body then back up at me. Her eyes were wide as she looked at me.

“Reaper saw me naked,” she said.

It was not a question.

“So did a bunch of other people,” I said.

My words didn’t help. Her face filled with color. She buried it in to her hands, to hide it from me.

“God…kill me now,” Alex moaned.

A sharp knock came from the door at her words.

Alex looked up, wondering if God had come to collect. I laughed at the look on her face and went to answer the door. Spider was on the other side. The lipstick imprint of a dozen kisses was over his face – a byproduct of the party – and his hair looked ruffled, as if hands had been run through his hair repeatedly. Despite the kisses, he looked upset. When the door opened, he leaned around me, to see if Alex was awake. Alex smiled at him in greeting, assuring him with a look that she was fine. His return smile was brief and almost cold, unlike him. He was too consumed by his thoughts to be truly warm. He brushed past me and sat down on the edge of her bed.

“How are you, doll?” he asked Alex, more for something to say than anything else.

He could tell she was fine. Her look had said enough.

“I’m fine,” she said.

Spider was fidgeting. He seemed unable to sit still for longer than a second. His legs moved then his hands – there was no peace. The fidgeting had nothing to do with Alex’s time spent as a Nightstalker. It was movement I found alarmingly similar. It was the same sort of habitual fidgeting Daniel did when he was upset or thinking. Daniel’s habits seemed to be rubbing off on the boy.

“So…Eli, huh?” Spider asked after a minute.

“Yep,” Alex agreed in a quiet voice.

“What am I going to tell the Ethan and the others?” Spider asked. “What do I say?

“The truth,” I said. “He’s here, but he’s not back.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t say anything,” Spider said.

“You don’t keep secrets from them,” I said.

“More than you think,” Spider said with an ugly look on his face.

“Tell them the truth,” I said. “You know you would want the facts straight. They’re mature enough to deal with the information on their own.”

“Right…like they were mature when I told them we weren’t coming back for them,” Spider said.

There had been a fight when Spider had told them we were attacking Marcus’ fortress without them. The wounds of the fight had yet to heal. It was a continuation of the rift that had started to form between Spider and the kids – a rift formed by the fact that the kids longed for a normal life, and Spider knew he wasn’t content with anything close to ‘normal.’ The kids were willing to help us, were willing to do whatever it took to prove their loyalty, but they were also geared toward happiness and childish delights. Spider had never known an immature day – his hard life had taught him such things as ‘play’ and ‘normalcy’ were for other people.

Alex put a hand on his arm.

“Trust them,” Alex encouraged him. “It’s the only way for you all to heal.”

He sighed at her words and shook off some of doubt. The real reason for his agitation came bubbling through in a quick confession. It was not an admission he made easily – not when he was so committed to being a part of our group.

“I saw Serenity down at the party. She said I was going to go along with you guys…” Spider said.

“That’s what she said,” I agreed.

“I don’t know if I can,” he admitted.

“Are you actually refusing to go along on an exciting mission?” I asked. “I’m shocked.”

Spider fidgeted some more.

“Not refusing. I’m just sayin’ that I don’t know if I can handle being around Eli. I mean, if Reaper hadn’t hit him, I would have. I might not have stopped hitting him,” Spider confessed.

“He’s a Watcher,” I pointed out. “You would have just hurt yourself.”

“I don’t care,” Spider said. “He abandoned the kids. Twitch was heartbroken when Eli left. I could tell. Eli was the only person to ever stand up for Twitch. All of the kids counted on him…he was more than just the guy who watched for us. He was the big brother none of us ever had.”

“Are you sure this is about Twitch?” Alex asked in a gentle voice.

“Save it, doll,” Spider said. “I don’t need to be analyzed or my brain picked apart. I just wanted to tell you where I stand…”

“You’re not sure if you can be around Eli,” I said. “I get it. Just let me know when you know.”

Spider nodded. His face turned mischievous as he eyed Alex again. His fidgeting had stopped with his admission.

“You know, doll, if you want me that bad, you don’t have to get undressed to get my attention,” he said to Alex. “I think you’re gorgeous with your clothes on.”

Alex blushed at his words. The fact that so many people had seen her naked was too fresh for her to laugh it off. I pushed Spider off the bed and forced him back to the door. His smile was huge as I shoved him away from Alex.

At the door, I paused and gave Alex a questioning look. I wanted to be sure it was okay to leave her alone. I didn’t want her to feel abandoned in her time of need. Her smile was brief, her emotions shut down behind a careful cloak of contentment. Her smile told me she was fine, that she didn’t need a babysitter. I smiled back, doubting the truth of what I saw, and pushed Spider the rest of the way out of the door. He swore at me, but I ignored him. I closed the door, to give her privacy to get dressed and deal with her emotions, and wrapped my arm around Spider’s thin shoulders. Without thinking about it, he led me down the hall, toward the galley, and away from the partying.

“Who kissed you?” I asked, rubbing at one of the lipstick stains on his face.

“I’m a ladies man, doll. What can I say?” he asked.

“Right…” I said.

Spider shrugged and a rueful expression crossed his face.

“Apparently, I’m adorable,” he said.

“When your mouth is shut,” I agreed.

“I knew you dug me,” he said.

We walked in to the galley then. Spider’s mind was on food. Mine was on finding a way to take stock of the past day’s drama without feeling overwhelmed. Alex’s drama…my drama…saving Han and Beatrice – it all swirled around in my mind. With such emotional pulls trying to drain my senses, it took me a second to realize the room was occupied.

Daniel and Reaper were surrounded by Reaper’s other generals. Moira was next to Daniel at the table, while River and King were on Reaper’s right side. Sara and Shawn were across the table, looking at Reaper and Daniel with serious expression on their faces. Margaret and Jackson were nowhere to be seen.

Reaper looked up as we entered. The lost look was gone from his eyes. He had recovered from his head injury – the benefit of quick healing. He looked as if he had showered. He had showered away more than a concussion. There was a cool professionalism in his eyes, something he always carried with him in front of the others. Daniel also looked up, though he looked less startled at the interruption. Daniel’s eyes held a different cool. It was a burning cold I had seen many times. It was the sort of fire that left a burning in my veins. It was the burning desire to move and act. I wasn’t sure why he was so worked up, but I didn’t mind. It was more proof we had made it out of Marcus’ lair of doom alive.

Spider looked uncertain as everyone turned to look at us. It was obvious they had been talking about serious things; he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear ‘serious’ after such a serious day.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“We were just talking about our next move,” Daniel said. “Your promise to Serenity…where the Saints play in to what’s next…You know, world-saving stuff.”

“And what have the world-savers decided?” I asked.

“We haven’t decided anything,” Reaper said. “We just started talking about it.”

I sat down in front of Daniel. I smiled at him in a distraction from the darkness.

“I think our first order of business should be a group song…I know! ‘Forever Young’ by Alphaville. Can you sing tenor?” I asked Daniel.

Daniel’s mouth moved to form a response. He didn’t get the chance to start a playful argument about my song choice. Reaper stopped it before it started.

“Or we could decide that we need to find out where Marcus was last seen,” Reaper said. “So we can move to take him out once and for all.”

“If that was easy, we would already know where he is,” Daniel said. “He’s always moving, always has guards around him. He doesn’t even tell his own people where he’s going. He just goes.”

“We know he’s building an army,” King pointed out. “That’s no small task. He has to have a place where he is doing that. Keeping an army mobile all the time would be too much trouble…would take more effort than he would want to spend.”

“Serenity just destroyed his place,” River said. “His fortress is gone…no more army building for him.”

“That wasn’t a training facility for new recruits,” Daniel said. “It was a prison…a diversion.”

“There were a lot of Marcus’ men there for it to just be a ‘diversion,’” River said.

“Trust me, it was a diversion,” Daniel said. “If his army was there, we would have known about it. We wouldn’t have gotten out of there alive.”

“So, where does that leave us?” Reaper asked.

“Why don’t you ask Serenity?” Spider asked.

“She doesn’t know,” Daniel said. “I’ve been down that route. Plus, it would cost us.”

“That’s my girl,” Spider said proudly.

“How do we magically find out his itinerary then?” I asked. “Mind-meld?”

“His itinerary is impossible to find, but his place of training might not be so impossible,” Daniel said. “Clare?”

“Daniel?” I asked.

“Marcus has hijacked your dreams before,” Daniel said. “Maybe he showed you more than he intended. You said you dreamed of a desert landscape with a tower above it, right?”