05. Children of Flux and Anchor (36 page)

They were not in position until the hundred and twenty-first day after Matson had taken over and reformed them; behind schedule, but not dangerously so—or so they hoped. Their remaining contacts in New Eden—many of the officials had been scared off and some of the agents captured by this point—indicated, however, that the huge Anchor was taking the bait. Trains were rumbling from the interior towards the northeast border, and at least five projectors had been seen near the old walls of Anchor Logh by their allied wizards flying reconnaissance, and the movement of large numbers of troops and both heavy and light ordnance. The heavy population in the Logh area was being moved back as well into temporary holding camps.

Suzl sat on a wagon seat, Ayesha behind her, arms around the blind woman's neck, nuzzling her. "Oh, I wish you could
see
all this!" the consort gushed. "It's more power, more people, than many cities, my darling! All of them women, all of them
ours.
It passes my wildest dreams!" Ayesha was pregnant and just starting to show. So were most of the New Harmony wizards, except Suzl and perhaps the new ones picked up on the journey down. Suzl had used her powers for birth control, not wanting to add pregnancy to the pressures, although she was certainly responsible, as father, for some of the others. New Eden had taught her how to proceed with a social and physical revolution. This would be merely a base to build on, to create a whole new race which would one day conquer and revolutionize World even more than the First Spell had done. She would hold her fifty-four, and add to their ranks. Never before had so much power been permanently committed to a single set of goals.

And yet, oddly, she didn't feel the thrills that Ayesha felt, or even get excited over the vision with which she had inspired the rest of them. When Ayesha asked if Suzl minded if she went down and looked it all over more closely, there was no objection. Morgaine, who was on a break from her own training program, saw the lonely-looking figure sitting there and came over. With some effort she hauled herself up and sat next to Suzl.

"Why so gloomy? Nerves? Me, too."

"No, not nerves. Or, I don't know, maybe it is. I feel like—what did they call that thing back at the carnival? A roller coaster. One of the little cars on a roller coaster. Sometimes I'm way up, and the world is mine and nothing can be wrong; then I'm down, all the way down, and nothing seems right. At first I thought it was just having to sit around, doing nothing, so much of the time. That's a lot of it. The fact is, even when I'm on that projector, there's lots of stretches of just plain dull. Sex is still fun—just turn on and shut down the world—but Ayesha doesn't find me so alluring anymore, even with my attributes, and anybody else so inclined, if there are any, are too busy. Most of the time I just sit, in the dark, not doing much except eating. I'm getting fat again. All of us should weigh sixty-five kilos, and all of you do. I'm certain of that. I have the same frame, the same bones, and I'm the same height as the rest, but I weigh twice that, as must be evident."

It was true and evident, and it had gone almost exclusively to her already-oversized breasts, rear, and stomach. Morgaine knew that the spell was supposed to maintain the body as it had been created, and had wondered and worried about it, and said as much to Suzl.

"Oh, it's the spell, all right. Ayesha bought it from somebody who thought they were better than they were. She didn't know, and the rest of the bunch couldn't tell. I'll never be sure whether the blindness wasn't deliberate, to make sure I'd always be dependent on her, but the rest of the spell isn't perfect, either. One of the new girls is something of a Flux doctor and she looked me over. She said it was an overdose of both types of hormones. I got body hair I have to have shaved off because my spells work on anybody but me. That's also partly causing these mood swings, or so she thinks. The worst part is, the bigger this gets the less I'm a part of it, or even
needed."

Morgaine gave her a kiss and a hug. "That's not true. Any time I'm on a break or after this is over, I'm available. I'm pregnant, though, so I wind up being the male all the time." She laughed. "I really do like this bisexual-ity, by the way. Funny thing is, I was so mannish for so long that I like looking and feeling this way. I like the feel of big breasts, the glamour part, all that, but I get more of a charge out of giving than getting. I don't know if it's the spell or me, but it works so well I think if I were free to choose again I'd stay the same."

"It's not the spell. That only makes you comfortable with it. Some people, maybe most, will always tend to be one or the other. It's personality, really, but this way the choice is on the individual. Take Matson, for one. He'd never be female by choice. That's why I made his spell totally female, an exact duplicate of Sondra. He's just not tempted that way. The real Sondra, on the other hand, has her father's masculine toughness but is all female. Your mother, I think, would be the opposite of you. She prefers the look and company of women to men, yet she'd never be in the masculine role sexually. But, again, under my system, it's the individual's choice and personality." She sighed. "But all these things have never been for old Suzl. Do you believe in fate?"

"Chance. Not fate. Not if you mean things are predestined to happen."

"Well,
I
believe in fate. I'm predestined to be a freak. I wasn't in Flux but a couple of months when I picked up a real, regular male prick. I was little, fat, kind of cute in a way. So I wound up taking up with a guy who liked other guys. To him, I was the best of all worlds. Then things went nuts and I wound up a real dugger. Tits as long as my arm that stuck straight out and a prick just as long that about dragged the ground when it wasn't turned on. The more they tried to fix it, the worse it got. Then I got a choice: be a Fluxgirl, all the way, physically
and
mentally, or stay that way forever. I saw the looks in even my closest friends' eyes, and I took the Fluxgirl route. Thing was, I hated the system, hated the people, but I
loved
being a Fluxgirl. I just didn't feel that anybody else should be forced to be one. Is that crazy?"

"Well, I can't see myself ever staying home all day, fixing the meals, cleaning house, pressing clothes, stuff like that, but I can't condemn anybody else for feeling that's a decent way to spend a life."

"It was the only real normalcy I ever had. It was
my
house, and
my
kids, and I had a place, a role, that was clear-cut and approved. It was a simple world, with simple rules, and it was peaceful and routine. I had no worries, and my responsibilities were clear-cut and easy to handle. If I'd had a better husband, one who loved me and who I could love, with a normal-type job and normal ambitions, I could have stayed that way forever and been happy with it. That's the wrong thing to say, I know. Women are as good as men in most things and better in some. I never yet met a man, Matson included, I thought could handle a childbirth in Anchor without becoming a simpering wimp. I guess that's my problem. Ever since the Invasion, every time I'd tell somebody I just wanted that kind of life, man or woman, they'd get shocked. I was weak. I was unambitious. 'You're smart, Suzl, you could be anything you wanted.' Like there was something evil about it. Evil's when you're
forced
into something like that, like New Eden. Everybody kept acting like I wanted all women to be like that. Well, that's stupid. People shouldn't be forced into things. They should be able to try and be whatever they want to be."

"I—I think I understand," Morgaine said, and meant it.

"New Eden, now, they took something potentially nice and made it ugly. I think that's why I hate them so much. It's also why I want to remake this place. Everything is always 'men can't' and 'women can't.' They're forced into roles. The New Human can't be forced by reason of sex. No man in any Anchor could ever stay home all day and keep house and diaper the baby. He'd have the shit beat out of him. And no woman is supposed to do that because she becomes just a supplement to the man. So you work into your ninth month, then in a couple of weeks drop the kid off in communal care and trot back to your big career and power plays and all that. The commune raises the kids and the parents see each other only when they go to bed for the night, but that's O.K.; it insures that the little kid will follow in Mommy or Daddy's footsteps and not have the freedom to do something else. If a woman wants to be a doctor or an engineer or a lawyer or whatever, then she should be able to do it if she's able without any hold-ups or hang-ups, and if a man wants to cook and clean and keep house and maybe cry when he's sad or even make his face up, that should be O.K., too. It'll never happen the way people are, but when there's no men and no women, just people, both sides will be freed from that. You understand?"

"I think so. I certainly
hope
you're right. Still, a lot of us like men. Like the differences, the contrasts. The deep voices, hairy chests, and tight asses. All the New People look female."

"Until a man can have a baby, there's no equality," Suzl noted. "And to have it, he needs the equipment."

She sighed. "Still, I may live to see it but I won't be a part of it. I'll be there, huge and immobile, blind and helpless, pandering to folks to offer a unique sexual thrill."

"We'll never let that happen," Morgaine assured Suzl honestly.

"You know, twice I been saved from these 'permanent' spells by outside forces so unlikely even once was improbable. Yet, even if I got rid of this, it wouldn't last. I
have
to be the freak. When this is all over, when I know the dream is real, then we'll see."

Morgaine had to go back on duty, but she felt very badly about Suzl, both her condition and her attitude. She was so good, and meant so well, and no matter what happened she'd gotten a load of cosmic shit dumped on her. Now she led an army she could not see, against an enemy she hated but whose lifestyle haunted her, in the name of a dream she couldn't share. And all she really wanted at all was somebody to love, and to love her in return. Happy endings were for fairy stories. The best she could hope for was victory. Morgaine felt that at least they could all give her that.

14

THE BATTLE OF NEW EDEN

Matson had been getting edgy and impatient. As much as the stringer had wished for another six months, it was impossible to keep troops like this—particularly the high-strung wizards—on edge forever. They had been there over a week; New Eden knew they were there—there had been spies about and probes and even a small patrol. They had caught it and turned them into nice Fluxgirl warriors with some glee, and expected them to be good fighters. If they ever ran back to New Eden, looking like Fluxgirls, they would be interrogated, believed, and then processed
as
Fluxgirls. All they knew, though, was that there were a lot of soldiers about in Logh District and along the open border, and lots of ordnance and some new secret weapons for Flux as well.

"If they're not coming out," Matson told Suzl and the general staff, "then we will have to draw them out." The proposal was to deploy batteries of battle rockets with explosive heads as far as possible around the border, shooting in.   "We'll keep bombing randomly until they send troops out to stop it. Then we'll take those troops and bomb them some more. If they fall back and
still
won't come out, we'll have no choice but to bring up some of Chua Gabaye's big stuff and reverse the order of battle we planned. When even New Canaan starts burning from the air, they'll come out."

New Eden certainly didn't like the rocket attacks. Although they were standard gunpowder rockets, and could not really be aimed, they had a fierce bang when they landed and could start a nasty fire. Their range was limited, a mere five kilometers at maximum elevation, but within those five kilometers they could make life hell. The chance of inflicting any really serious damage to the force was slight, but the psychological effects were devastating.

New Eden was not amused, but it learned pretty quickly not to send mere troops out to stop things. The next time they sent out a pretty strong wizard with the troops. It took Suzl seven seconds to locate him, run a matter-to-energy conversion, then reverse it within the camp. The amount of sheer Flux power surrounding him was enough to make some of them almost sympathize with his plight, and his expression resembled that of someone who'd just been shown his only child's severed head. Suzl had yet another Ayesha-like wizard for her stable, but since they'd had— of necessity—to erase both memories and personality, it would be some time before she would be of any real use.

Matson allowed the rocket crews to actually take on the small company of cavalry that had come with the wizard. At this point, they needed some action more than New Harmony needed more recruits, and a few of the men were allowed to escape back into Anchor to report as the next barrage sounded.
Fluxgirls! They were New Eden women on those rockets, I swear, sir! Called us insulting names, then fought like demons. . . . The wizard, sir? We don't know. I guess they shot him. . . .

The generals of New Eden were disturbed. With the rumors spreading like wildfire, they could hardly contain the troops, yet they didn't want to fight on the enemy's turf and at the enemy's beck and call. At the speed they could move the lumbering projectors, even on the new tractors, a solid flanking maneuver would take days and could not be moved up undetected. They didn't know the range, but couldn't assume more than fifty kilometers. Out of range of the main body, at that. They hadn't dared to test them in the void since the first one was stolen; all had been tested and tuned at Gate Four, which wasn't much room for real testing nor was there sufficient Flux to really see what they could do. The rockets had done negligible damage, but so unnerved and infuriated the troops that they were starting to grumble that their officers were cowards. There was no choice. They had to attack, and frontally.