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*~*~*

Connor didn't want to confront Lane and Gresh. He'd pretended
to sleep last night but really he hadn't done anything other than toss and
turn. He'd wanted a drink so damn bad that he'd tried to sneak out of the house
to get it but Mike woke up and gave him that look that made Connor feel about
two feet tall. He didn't know how Mike did it. Anyone else and he would have
blown them off, but Mike could just look at him and he'd cave.

Even when he'd been with Riley he'd had an attitude that
prevented him from doing what Riley wanted sometimes, but with Mike, he wanted
to do what was right.

Mike met him at the bathroom door with a cup of coffee and a
smile in the morning. He grumbled and took the coffee, breathing in deeply.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Connor asked.

"No clue. Maybe it's because I like you."

"You trying to get into my pants."

Mike took a step back, his face serious. "Hey, I'm not
hiding the fact that I'm attracted to you, but I'm not going to push it. You
need time."

"So, if I dropped my pants and bent over right now you
wouldn't take me up on the offer."

Mike groaned and his eyes went dark. "Shit, Connor, you're
tempting the hell out of me."

"Is that a yes?"

Mike shook his head. "No, I care too much for you and I
think you're just trying to distract me. We're headed out to see Lane and
Gresh. I've already talked to them this morning."

"Fuck."

"Yeah, well you can say it all day long but we won't be
doing it—yet."

Connor stared after Mike as he walked away. It wasn't fair to
put Mike in that situation. The guy deserved someone who cared about him, not a
messed up idiot. Connor went to his room, which used to be Riley's room, and
changed clothes. Somehow he'd ended up owning all of Riley's things. Riley had
left him more than enough money to pay the inheritance taxes and Connor had
sold off Riley's cows shortly after the funeral. Connor's own house had sold
four weeks ago and that's what had inspired the downward spiral.

It had started the day he packed his things and moved them
here. The first bottle of Jack had gone down easy then he kept going. He
stopped talking to everyone, hiding in this house, allowing the ghost of Riley
to haunt him. Not that he really believed in ghosts, but there was something
about this house and the finality of having no other place to go that left him
wishing he'd died that day instead of Riley.

If he'd still owned the place in Houston he'd have moved
there, but for some reason, when he'd left the Texas Rangers Division, he'd
sold his condo too. He felt trapped and guilty as hell. Riley had died because
Connor couldn't reign in his libido. Hell, that wasn't the truth and he knew
it. He'd held off on being with Mike, only kissing the guy a few times.

Connor stepped into his room and pulled on a shirt then
dropped his shorts to the floor and picked up a pair of jeans, sniffing to make
sure they weren't too stale. He didn't remember the last time he'd done
laundry. Just another thing responsible adults did that he'd missed out on in
the last month.

"You ready?" Mike called from the other side of the
door.

"My legs are spread and my hole is greased," Connor
called out.

"Funny, big guy. You know that's not what we're
doing."

"Fine, you called me on it." Connor ripped open the
door, and then tugged on his jeans. He buttoned the fly, adjusting his dick so
it rode right. He noticed Mike watching and cupped his package again, watching
Mike's eyes grow wide.

"It would be better than going to see Lane and
Gresh."

"You're using me for avoidance purposes. Let's go. I'm
not letting you get away from this responsibility."

Connor rolled his eyes. "Fuck. Let's go."

He only talked when he had to tell Mike which way to turn. He
wasn't happy about visiting Lane and Gresh. The last time he'd seen the pair
he'd acted like a jerk. Since they hadn't come around to talk to him he
wondered if he'd screwed everything up.

The new ranch house came into view, Connor was shocked at how
far along they were. The last he'd seen it was just in sticks. Mike cut the
engine, letting go of a low whistle. "Wow, that’s a huge place."

"Lane and Gresh and Jump and Bruce are moving in. So
it's really two houses that will share the kitchen, living room, and media
room."

"Makes sense. It just looks so huge."

"It is." Connor didn't want to get out of the car.
He feared Lane and Gresh's reaction. The door to the bunkhouse swung wide and
Lane stepped out followed closely by Gresh. Connor cringed and his stomach
twisted. "Do I really have to?"

"Yeah. Get out of the car and go talk."

Connor opened the door and climbed out. The door shut with
finality and he glanced back at Mike, wishing the man would step out and help
him figure what the hell to do, but this was his thing and he needed to man up
and face the music.

"Lane," Connor said, his stomach knotting.

Lane said nothing as he stepped off the porch and strode
over. Lane's mouth was turned down in a frown. Connor braced himself for the
worst. When Lane was about two feet away Connor closed his eyes and waited for
the punch. Then Lane's arms were around him, holding him tightly.

Connor stiffened then relaxed. Lane's hold never lessened.
"I've missed you," Lane's choked whisper was a sock to Connor's gut.
They rocked together for a long time then Gresh came over, wrapping his arms
around both of them.

"Connor, I didn't want to stay away but I didn't know
what to do. Every time we came around it made you so mad."

He tried to talk but no words came out. This was why he
hadn't come by before. The pain in his chest grew to unbearable levels and
tears streamed down his face. He couldn't do this. He tried to turn away and
leave but Lane wouldn't let him move.

"We are sorry we didn't force this earlier," Gresh
said.

The car door slammed and Connor turned his head to see Mike
coming around the front of the car. Connor ducked his head and his breath caught.
What kind of fucked up idiot had he become? Mike had seen him at his worst. There
was no way the man would want him after this week.

Chapter Five

Lane stepped back, running his fingers over Connor's face.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have stayed away."

"It's not your fault." Connor huffed out a breath,
his mouth turning down in a frown.

"Actually it kind of is," Gresh said.

Connor shot him a look and Lane put his fingers on Connor's
chin, tilting his face down. "You were there for me and I wasn't for
you."

"I didn't make it easy on you."

"No, you didn't. But I'm not a fair-weather friend. I
love you and I won't abandon you."

Connor looked like he was going to cry again. His friend,
Mike, was standing off to the side and Lane wondered just how together he and
Mike were. It wasn't his place to judge though. He'd done some questionable
things in the last few years, things that put Connor and Riley in jeopardy and
Connor finding a new guy was far from questionable. He just hoped Mike treated
him right. Lane turned to Mike and offered his hand. "Hi, Mike, why don't
you two come over to the dining hall. The main house won't be finished for a
while. I'd love to walk you through once we have some coffee and talk."

Lane took off walking but Connor's hand on his shoulder
stopped him. "You're the best friend I've ever had and I treated you
wrong."

"Connor, you weren't yourself. I don't blame you."

"I blame myself. I want you to know I'm going to work at
being better. I'm going to stop drinking and get well."

Lane turned to face Connor, placing his hands on the big
guy's shoulders. He looked up, smiling at his friend. "You mean more to me
that you probably know. I know we'll never have a sexual relationship again,
and I'm fine with that, but when we were together, we bonded. I promise you
that I'll fight to keep you in my life. I'm not going to stay away next time
you get mad."

"Hopefully, I won't get like that again."

"Hey," Lane stroked Connor's cheek. "It
doesn't matter how much you yell or how angry you get. I'm here for you."

Connor's face twisted and Lane didn't want to make him cry so
he put his arm around Connor's waist and led him to the dining hall. They each
grabbed a cup of coffee and Lane found a couple of pies in the fridge that were
left over from dinner. He put the pies, four plates, and forks on a tray and
carried them out to the table.

Mike smiled up at Lane. "Pie, I love pie."

"I've got two slices of blueberry and two slices of
apple." Lane set the tray on a nearby table and transferred the pies and
plates to their table. "Connor, which would you like?"

"I'll take whatever you've got." Connor's weak
smile seemed a little too forced but Lane wouldn’t push him.

"Okay, Connor, you can have an apple. Gresh, since you
didn't get any of the blueberry last night I'll let you have that. Mike, which
would you like?"

"It's been years since I've had a good blueberry
pie."

"Good, this should hit the spot." Lane served him a
piece.

"Did you make these?" Mike asked.

Lane laughed and Gresh joined in. "No, Cookie did. He's
been here at the ranch forever. Best cook in the state." Lane watched as
Mike took a bite, just waiting for him to taste the crust. From the expression
on his face, Lane knew Mike liked the pie.

"Good Lord, that's the best crust I've ever tasted."
Mike took another bite, closing his eyes and moaning as he chewed.

"Everyone loves Cookie's pies. I'm surprised you had any
leftovers," Connor said between bites."

"He made six pies yesterday. All we have left is four
slices," Gresh said.

They continued to eat, Connor looking more and more relaxed
as time passed. They were talking about the house, Gresh explaining the layout
when they got to the room they'd designated the nursery. Gresh stopped speaking
and glanced at Lane. He scooted his chair closer to Gresh and kissed his cheek.

"We can tell them." Lane turned to Connor and Mike,
his face felt like it was going to split open with excitement from the way he
was smiling. "We've begun looking into getting a baby again."

"Really?" Connor asked.

"Yeah, Gresh feels good enough. We were close to making
a decision before the accident, now it's time. I really want to adopt, so we're
looking at agencies."

"Kids are a huge responsibility," Connor said.

"We know." Lane beamed at Gresh. "It will be
tough for a while, but we both want kids."

"Kids, as in plural?" Connor asked.

"Yeah, we would like to have a few kids running around
the place," Gresh mumbled.

Lane glanced his way, noticing the tired droop of Gresh's
eyes. "Hey, babe. Why don't you go take a nap and I'll show Connor and
Mike around the place."

Gresh leaned in and kissed Lane on the mouth. "I love
you." Gresh sat up, speaking to Mike and Connor. "Hey guys, sorry but
I still get exhausted at times. It's one of those times right now. I need to go
lay down but I want to get together soon. Connor," Gresh walked over to
him and Connor stood, "I love you, man."

Lane watched as Connor pulled Gresh into a tight hug. They
stayed together for a long time. Lane could tell they were whispering stuff but
he didn't hear the words. Finally, Gresh pulled back a little then kissed
Connor on the mouth. It was just a sweet brush of lips but it made jealousy
flash hot through Lane. He glanced at Mike and noticed the same reaction.

Lane clenched his fists to keep his reaction under control.
Gresh and Connor weren’t going to hook up again. They hadn't been the ones with
the problem either. He and Riley had almost ruined everything, Connor had been drawn
into the mess kicking and screaming.

Gresh came around to kiss Lane then left the dining hall,
leaving he, Connor, and Mike alone. Connor took his seat and picked up his
empty coffee cup, twirling it around a few times before setting it back down.

"I won't sleep with him again," Connor said.

"I know." Lane wished he hadn't been jealous just
seconds before.

Connor picked up his fork and toyed with the crumbs on his
plate. "I'm not sleeping with you either."

Lane stood up and moved around the table to Connor. Mike
looked uncomfortable and Lane wished they were having this conversation in
private, but Mike seemed to be good for Connor. Lane knelt beside Connor and
took his hand. "I will always think of you as special. Connor, you're more
than a friend. I love you dearly and I won't abandon you again."

"I told you to stay away, that you were making it
worse." Connor traced his fingers over Lane's jaw.

"I know, but I still should have been a better
friend."

Connor pulled Lane up and onto his lap. They stared at each
other for a long moment, Lane remembering the sex they'd had and Connor's face displayed
a range of emotions. Lane hugged Connor, resting his head on the broad chest.
No matter how many times he sat in Connor's lap he still got aroused. It was
from that first time long ago when Connor had stroked him off in the kitchen.
He didn't want that, not now, but the memories were still there, making him
hot.

Connor shifted, his fingers massaging Lane's back.
"You'll always be special."

Lane sighed, knowing that whatever he and Connor had would
never develop into what it could be. He was satisfied though. Had he and Connor
not had Gresh and Riley, they would have never gotten together. At least he
could be thankful for what they had and what they shared. He kissed Connor on
the cheek and stood.

"Hey, let's go see the house. I want to show you some of
the special features we've included." Connor and Mike trailed after him
and he noticed Mike's hand on Connor's back. He was happy for them, hoping they
lasted because he really did like Connor and he wanted to see him happy.