Authors: Dicey Grenor
Just as I was
about to land a fatal blow to his head, I remembered all the reasons why I
shouldn’t kill him either.
“What are you
waiting for, Willow? Finish him.”
“I can’t.” When I
explained why, Max especially thought killing him was best.
Of
course.
Instead, I tried
several different commands.
Forget you saw me tonight
wasn’t good
enough.
Forget I’m a vampire
was just as inadequate. I finally went
with:
You passed out drunk tonight and cannot remember anything at all
.
Max suggested I email
Rafe
the photos tomorrow from
an anonymous account and threaten him with exposure from afar. The affect
should still be the same…maybe worse.
It was his best
idea yet.
But Aaron was
still out cold. “There has to be something I can do for him.”
“I would forbid
such bonding, but short of giving him vampire blood, there is no other way to
end his suffering than death.”
Ding
ding
ding
. I didn’t
give a damn whether Max forbade it. My blood’s rapid healing agent was what
Aaron needed and so help me, I was going to give it to him.
Saybree
had called it, hadn’t she?
Kneeling next to
Aaron, I cut my wrist open with my fangs and no second thought. I’d kill two
birds with one stone: save Aaron and bind us forever.
Max grabbed my arm
in a tight grip. “What the fuck are you doing, Willow? You would give this
human your blood?”
“Yes.” I jerked my
arm away, lifted Aaron’s head with the other and fed him from my vein. I could
feel my blood dripping in his mouth. It was giving him back some of what I’d
taken, but more.
Much more.
He really should have
consented to this but under the circumstances I hoped he would forgive me for
forcing the decision on him.
Max fell back on
his rear like he’d been clipped in the chin. I was fully aware that he could
have used his metaphysical powers over me and prevented me from feeding Aaron,
but he was too surprised. Surprised that I would blatantly disobey him and more
importantly, that I cared enough for a human to risk angering my
maistre
. I was signing my own death warrant, motivated by
something unexplainable. Something that felt close to love, and Max knew it. Oh
yeah, he was surprised…and pissed…and insulted.
“You really care
for this human,” he whispered as if he couldn’t believe it.
“I do.” I couldn’t
either.
Max snarled like a
vicious beast, “I have not given you permission to bond with this male. You are
my bride!”
“Then I’ll have to
accept my punishment.” I felt Aaron’s mouth pull on my wrist wound.
“Because it’s done.”
He
grinded his teeth.
“Yes. You will be punished.”
And just like
that, he was gone.
Whatever.
I couldn’t worry about Max and his threats right now. I’d worry about the
consequences of pissing him off and bonding with a human with multiple
personalities later. At least Aaron would be okay.
When he started
coughing on my blood, I sat him up further. Oh, goody—his nose was healing.
Blood was
everywhere, his and mine. And our skin was vibrant, humming with energy. I was
curious about how deep the bond would go with a human, and we’d have plenty of
time to explore and test its limits. Right now, I had to clean up any signs of
us being in
Rafe’s
house and get my ass to some
shelter before it was too late.
Rafe
was tucked in his bed, sleeping soundly when I carried
Aaron out. By the time we reached the car, Aaron was completely healed.
And
looking at me like I was the reincarnated Jack the Ripper.
“I’m sorry, Aaron.
So sorry.”
I looked at the sky. Dawn was coming. Too
bad it wasn’t daylight savings time. I could really use an extra hour. “Are you
able to drive?” It seemed terrible to have him chauffeur me back after all I’d
done to him tonight, but I felt it was right to ask him since it was his car…and
I didn’t trust myself driving that far. Insurance wouldn’t help if there was
nothing left to insure.
He nodded and
settled behind the wheel. “Guess I better speed so the sun doesn’t get you.”
“Please.”
He did.
Silently.
We weren’t short on tension.
As we pulled onto
my motel’s street, I was feeling the burn. Tucking my jacket over my head, I
tried to shield myself from the light. I pulled my keycard out so it would be
ready for quick entry once we arrived. By the time he pulled in the parking
spot with a screech, my lips were tight, my skin was hot and sensitive to every
stitch of fabric I wore, and my limbs were so stiff I could barely move.
I reached for the
door handle and jacked my hand back with a scream. Light had only caressed it
for a millisecond, but it had been horrific. I was in trouble. No way
I’d
make it inside in time.
There was rapid
movement beside me, a door opening and closing. The whole car bounced with the
impact of the trunk lifting and shutting. Then from out nowhere, my car door
opened, Aaron grabbed the keycard and threw a blanket over me. He lifted me
from the seat and carried me to my door. He opened the door one-handedly with
the stealth of the hero he was,
then
closed us in from
the sun.
I peeled the
covering away as he laid me gently on the bed.
He cut on the lamp
and stood still as a statue. I gazed at him.
After everything I’d
done to him tonight, I couldn’t believe he could be so sweet. From picking me
up at work, to lying in his underwear next to a naked man and taking pictures,
to getting me home safely—He was a saint.
Maybe bonding with
him wasn’t a bad idea after all. I felt love for him. I could be in a
relationship with Aaron and to hell with the rest of the world, including Max.
Maybe Aaron would spend the day with me.
Just the two of us
in my room…in my bed.
I could be ready for something like that.
“Thank you for—”
“Will you please
erase my memories too?
Like you did for
Rafe
.
I don’t want to remember what you are…or any of this.”
Gulp.
So much for love and a relationship.
I took his camera
out of my pocket and held it out to him. He shook his head, not even wanting it
back. It contained memories too. Memories he didn’t want.
I walked over to
him and looked in his metallic blues thinking the last thing I wanted was to
make him forget all we’d shared. No, I didn’t want him seeing me as a monster.
Didn’t want him afraid of me.
But I wanted to be real with
him. I wanted him to know me like I knew him. That’s what true intimacy was.
Something I’d never had with anyone, I wanted at this moment with him. Maybe I
could get him to see that.
When I extended my
hand to smooth the black curls from his face, he flinched.
Damn. I’d blown
it.
Trust was a vital
part of a relationship too and we no longer had that. We’d have to start over.
Willing his brain
to obey my command I spoke softly into his soul, “Aaron, forget everything you
saw tonight. Forget what I did to you. Forget what I looked like. Forget I’m a
vampire. Remember you picked me up from work and we went for a walk. We talked
about our hopes and dreams and passions and desires. I opened up to you and
showed you my true self. I was beautiful, loving, kind. And I thanked you for a
lovely evening.” Then I planted a seed for tomorrow’s date.
As long as his
memories remained hidden we could have a do-over.
I blinked away a
tear and kissed his cheek before he backed away like a zombie and I retreated
to the bathroom. I slid down the bathroom wall until I landed on my bottom. I
stayed there sad, lonely, and ashamed for hours after he was long gone. I’d
known desolation as a human, not as a vampire.
Thought that
part of my brain had been shut down…until I met Aaron.
Now, I’d severed
a connection with him I hadn’t known I was desperate to have.
And it sucked.
Priority #1 was
getting it back.
Chapter 19
At some point I
fell asleep on the bathroom floor. When I finally got up, first thing I did was
setup a fake
Facebook
profile and sent
Rafe
a message. I sent him copies of the pictures and dared
him to pursue his vendetta against Cindy. And for her trouble he had to throw
in a large sum of money so she could buy another place. He could afford it if
he
laid
off a maid or two.
Then I deleted the
account. No response necessary. Not to me anyway.
Even though I’d
been the one to attack Aaron, I blamed
Rafe
for
making things get out of control. If he hadn’t used Aaron’s head as a piñata
none of this would have happened. Sure, if I hadn’t been a vampire it wouldn’t
have happened either, but
Rafe’s
insolence was the
catalyst for my drive-by to begin with. I would have been perfectly content
having another all night talkfest with Aaron.
Now, I risked
Aaron remembering what happened and hating my guts.
Yes. It was all
Rafe’s
fault.
Almost wished he’d
fuck up so I could use the images to destroy him. Only thing was Aaron’s face
was in the
pics
too. And he had no memory of taking
them.
I put the camera
away before I was tempted to out
Rafe
on general
principle.
Next, I emailed a
response to Dr. Floyd confirming we’d meet at his office tomorrow.
Also had to login
to my bank account. Yep, like clockwork, my payroll check had been deposited. I
remembered when Cindy had set it up for me so that I could bank online. She
hadn’t even asked why I couldn’t do it during bank hours. I hoped we could get
back to the way things used to be.
I scheduled a
contribution to American Red Cross as I’d done with every check. Since I’d
stolen blood from their bank a few times when in a pinch, I felt it was only
right to support their cause.
My parents would
say it was sacrilege not to give my tithes to church, but I read the bible to
say “storehouse” not church. I’d seen enough mismanagement of church funds to
know they weren’t all functioning as storehouses. Although I gave occasionally
to churches I’d watched on Sunday morning television, I had more faith in
non-religious affiliated 501c3s. At least I didn’t have to worry about them
using my tithe towards a building fund or an outlandish pastoral lifestyle then
claiming God said to do it. No, the Red Cross used it where needed, where it
saved lives. And they made financial statements available. This humanitarian
organization had more accountability and integrity than most churches I knew.
And I knew A LOT of churches. Besides, the bible spelled out “church” so many
times that it could have been specific about tithing to
church
if God
wanted to say church.
So fuck ’
em
. I didn’t let anyone tell me who to give my money to.
Religious whackos had run my life long enough.
Just as I was
about to shutdown my laptop, an instant message chimed:
Hey, Willow. It’s
Mom.
Ha!
The irony.
Hey.
How’ve you
been?
Fine.
You?
Good.
[
pause
]
Miss you.
Me
too.
Pause.
Long
Pause.
Well, now that we
got the niceties out of the way, clearly she had something on her mind. Let’s
just get down to it, shall we:
What?
Your dad’s
birthday is coming up and the church is having a dinner for him.
Tell him I said
Happy Birthday.
Willow, I want
you to come. It’s been years since I’ve seen you.
I don’t think
so.
Your brothers
will be there. They miss you too.
Good try, but I
knew better. They missed me about as much as a wart. My older and younger
brother were both threads from the old cloth, both preachers like dad. Only
thing they hated more than me was sin. I’d always been the black sheep of the
family and not just because of my narcolepsy. No, I was the one who snuck away
to listen to secular music and watch “Dungeons and Dragons”.
The
one who refused to take the purity vow but read erotic magazines instead.
And uttered curse words to emphasize points or because it felt good rolling off
my wicked tongue.
But I’d never seen
in the bible thou
shalt
not say “shit” or “fuck”.
Honor thy
father and mother
was in there though.
Which was the only
reason I still corresponded with her via the internet to begin with.
Even though they didn’t know I had no intention of seeing them again, I’d
honorably said goodbye to my family before going to stay with Max and giving up
my human life. No intention of building a relationship with them now.
Please, Willow.
I love you. Please come.
I considered
disconnecting her then decided against being rude. I loved and missed her too,
imperfections and all. But I was not going to be guilt-tripped with
I Love
You’s
. There was no way in
hell I was going to my dad’s church dinner. Still didn’t hurt to be nice about
it.
I’ll think
about it.
*
smile
*